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a family issue, about my son (Page 5)

glace-bleue IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:01am | IP Logged
.....


Edited by blue-ice - 15 February 2011 at 4:21pm

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frostyRapier

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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Rapier

Originally posted by qwertyesque

Originally posted by Rapier

Originally posted by qwertyesque

At 21 there is veri little you can do to reform him.. so the best recourse is to cut his economic sources if thats what puts him on that path.. and push to take up some work etc...and hve him married.. in typical indian culture.. things get fixed after marriage....just ensure he has no  HIV, STD or antthing.. ...depending upon which part of india you belong.. it may be different...


are u for real? tell me! if u are a girl, would be willing to marry him? if not, would u be willing to marry off ur daughter or someone to him? i'm seriously perplexed!
Promiscuity typically cures by marriage.. and its a phase.. and I am not saying... about throwing a gal under the bus.. there are open minded gals and other social supports which will set him on the right path.. without having to go to a rehab... if he is a scholarship boy... he is clever and will do good in teh long run...!!!!


the question was...will you? let's say u have a very open minded daughter in the future, if not already. will u put her in that relationship? he is a scholarship boy after all, with a minor drawback of sex addiction. will you?

and i want to know ur answer when i reverse this as well. let's say there is a promiscuous girl. will you marry her (assuming u r a guy), thinking that it will all settle after u get married?
first of all no i wont put her there.. but if somebody... comes with a proposal for their ayyash son.. i would leave it to her to judge him.. but you have a right question,.. thats if and when i have a daughter in teh future.. may be I think like you are doing .. for you second question.. i would i mean i mean if she can walk to teh alter.. i can assure her amended behavior...as long as she is not on drugs etc...
btw i have seen first hand couple of cases where , skittled away guys become sheepish husbands...to plain vanilla wives.after marriage...LOL

Edited by qwertyesque - 13 February 2011 at 12:03am
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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:04am | IP Logged
Originally posted by qwertyesque

Originally posted by PandorasBox

^^ marriage seems like an over-simplified solution but the repurcussion of it is very serious. It would add more salt to the injury if it doesn't work out. The son might detach himself from his guilt and never be able to face himself.
"doesnt work out" is an american fad.. seriously.. back in india.. people dont  go that far to think.. it doesnt work out etc...!!People make it work,,,,Smile.. again depending on which part of india he is from...


Marriages do work out more in India, but it comes at a cost. Usually the women are the ones to suffer in order to make things work. My distant relative got married to a man who beat the living day light out of her. After 20 or so years, he "calmed down" and they're still together. I guess this is what you mean by making it work.

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anchal2Rapieryellowflower

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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by PandorasBox

Originally posted by qwertyesque

Originally posted by PandorasBox

^^ marriage seems like an over-simplified solution but the repurcussion of it is very serious. It would add more salt to the injury if it doesn't work out. The son might detach himself from his guilt and never be able to face himself.
"doesnt work out" is an american fad.. seriously.. back in india.. people dont  go that far to think.. it doesnt work out etc...!!People make it work,,,,Smile.. again depending on which part of india he is from...


Marriages do work out more in India, but it comes at a cost. Usually the women are the ones to suffer in order to make things work. My distant relative got married to a man who beat the living day light out of her. After 20 or so years, he "calmed down" and they're still together. I guess this is what you mean by making it work.
i dont know of any wife battering people myself.. i meant parting ways on differences not inhuman grounds.. your relative proves my point even strongly.. if inhuman behavior is not making woman quit off the hubbies...other  differences hardly would...

Edited by qwertyesque - 13 February 2011 at 12:07am
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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:09am | IP Logged
Originally posted by blue-ice

Originally posted by qwertyesque

Originally posted by PandorasBox

^^ marriage seems like an over-simplified solution but the repurcussion of it is very serious. It would add more salt to the injury if it doesn't work out. The son might detach himself from his guilt and never be able to face himself.
"doesnt work out" is an american fad.. seriously.. back in india.. people dont  go that far to think.. it doesnt work out etc...!!People make it work,,,,Smile.. again depending on which part of india he is from...


Qwerty...time for you to visit India and take a look ..............Indians have managed to copy everything that is American...be it the TV shows, movies, dressing style or the american lingo............."doesnt work out" has also been successfully copied by Indians.........now it "doesnt work out" in India alsoLOL
think about it how many first hand incidences you know of? I know of atmost a couple... and that too they got divorces after coming to hte US ...LOL.. i agree the rate is high but still we are a crazy bunch of people...still
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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:11am | IP Logged
that's because she, like millions of Indian women are bound by necessity. Society, her family, his family will outcast her. Where will she go, what would she eat? It's quite a responsibility to "cure" their husband on the girl's shoulder.

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Rapieryellowflower

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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by qwertyesque

Originally posted by Rapier

Originally posted by qwertyesque

Originally posted by Rapier

Originally posted by qwertyesque

At 21 there is veri little you can do to reform him.. so the best recourse is to cut his economic sources if thats what puts him on that path.. and push to take up some work etc...and hve him married.. in typical indian culture.. things get fixed after marriage....just ensure he has no  HIV, STD or antthing.. ...depending upon which part of india you belong.. it may be different...


are u for real? tell me! if u are a girl, would be willing to marry him? if not, would u be willing to marry off ur daughter or someone to him? i'm seriously perplexed!
Promiscuity typically cures by marriage.. and its a phase.. and I am not saying... about throwing a gal under the bus.. there are open minded gals and other social supports which will set him on the right path.. without having to go to a rehab... if he is a scholarship boy... he is clever and will do good in teh long run...!!!!


the question was...will you? let's say u have a very open minded daughter in the future, if not already. will u put her in that relationship? he is a scholarship boy after all, with a minor drawback of sex addiction. will you?

and i want to know ur answer when i reverse this as well. let's say there is a promiscuous girl. will you marry her (assuming u r a guy), thinking that it will all settle after u get married?
first of all no i wont put her there.. but if somebody... comes with a proposal for their ayyash son.. i would leave it to her to judge him.. but you have a right question,.. thats if and when i have a daughter in teh future.. may be I think like you are doing .. for you second question.. i would i mean i mean if she can walk to teh alter.. i can assure her amended behavior...as long as she is not on drugs etc...
btw i have seen first hand couple of cases where , skittled away guys become sheepish husbands...to plain vanilla wives.after marriage...LOL


well glad to know that at least u will give her the chance to decide for herself. but what if she decides she wants to marry him? then what? will u accept? u said u will start to think like me. meaning u will not be comfortable. yet u give such an advice to someone?

u would marry her despite her previous sexual behavior, knowing that her addiction to sex is not cured? and what if she isn't reformed. then what?

there are also people, namely women, who had their lives ruined thanks to such marriages. and they couldn't even divorce. because guess what? they were expected to make it work.

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yellowflower

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Posted: 13 February 2011 at 12:22am | IP Logged
....


Edited by blue-ice - 15 February 2011 at 4:20pm

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Rapier

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