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SidShiFF:Part51 I Pg 91 - Chahoon Main Ya Naa (Page 77)

nikita_88 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 12 June 2013 at 10:30am | IP Logged
Unreserved page 76... 

Continue soon 

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nm21

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Posted: 12 June 2013 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
shiran
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Posted: 13 June 2013 at 6:53pm | IP Logged
Update 
nm21 Goldie
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Posted: 23 June 2013 at 7:38am | IP Logged
Thank you! Big smileClap

@

The following 9 member(s) liked the above post:

karan_sidmodiLadyofshalottadorableaishaanmol_sunshinewendy25hangok-jas-Leenasmgnikita_88,

You lovely beings! I adore you guys so much. Honestly, seeing this and the comments that follow makes my day.

I wouldn't be here if not for you Embarrassed Hug
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

@hangok/jas/btalwar - Haha! I feel terrible if I'd known this is how you'd feel to the short post. My sincere apologies. Like I said it rounded the chapter off well so I guess it made sense for it to be the few lines I wrote. I hope you guys enjoyed it all the same? Thank you for commenting all the same :) I hope the next update doesn't disappoint! x

@sidra - Even when I see you've left a comment, it just makes me so happy before I've even read it. I'm glad you saw my side to things haha - I genuinely didn't mean for the small update to be a tease! The words flowed and I found a convenient place to stop that's all haha. Oh my gosh, as always, thank you so much for the very generous words you use for me Sidra. Eek, if you're on edge! I am feeling the pressure - But I don't know why! LOL I cannot believe you loved it so much...wow *riding cloud 9 with a big smile and the wind in my hair* Okay sincerely hoping it doesn't disappoint now. Let me know? Hope the little one and Granny are well - how are you?? Hope you're fit and fine! Love and hugs always, and yes thank you always :)
Hugx

@FlamingDesire  - Thank you so much! x

@Ladyofshallot - Thank you for commenting! Posting shortly x

@Nimzie - Aw, thank you so much for sharing your views my dear! Glad you enjoyed the read and picked up on certain aspects, so sweet of you. Updating shortly! Let me know how it was x

@anmol_sunshine - I'm so sorry! I wish I could have read your comment, feel free to unreserve whenever. I'd always love to know your thoughts :) x

Thank you again everyone, short comments for the short update! LOL I feel I'm done already! Right here I go... X (So nervous)

Thank you all once again! Love youu xx



Edited by nm21 - 24 June 2013 at 4:56pm
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Posted: 23 June 2013 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
Update 
hangok IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
you have reserved for replies, that means the update comes soonSmile
pleasee update soon we are waiting
nm21 Goldie
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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
Hello everyone!
Thank you so much for your comments/ likes on the last chapter.
That said, I do feel awful after reading comments for the last update - It wasn't meant to be a teaser but the chapter finished quite abruptly and yes, call it a filler if you will. The decision was quite spontaneous though I felt quite the Gabbar Singh afterwards. LOLOuch
Even now when I ask if I should update - it's only so people who may have reserved posts can come back and comment on them - but I think I've received all the comments and I won't keep this post from you any longer.
Please give me feedback - My worst nightmare (as it has happened before) is to see this FF slump. I say I have an idea but it changes as I write and the direction diverges most times from that I initially plan.
(I may be going round in circles but yes if you confirm it'll help - I should know more but I don't think I'm happy with this part again...)
I'll let you be the judge.Embarrassed (And shall refrain from putting you off any longer!)
Without further ado -


****
Part 44
Blurred Lines

There are some mornings where you awake and you're already smiling knowing that it's going to be a good day. The golden rays of sunshine seeping into your room which have probably stirred you in the first place don't bother you but further advance that warm fuzzy feeling inside your chest. Even little things like a soft cuddly toy in your embrace makes you bubble with glee.

It's easy to wake up to those mornings.

There are other mornings, however, where your eyes will still be closed and yet in your subconscious state you know that nothing pleasant is going to come of opening them anyway.

There will be nothing welcoming about this day let alone this morning.

Everything is wrong.

In fact, there is a light somewhere which feels as if it's being directed straight into my closed eyelids and I can hear myself grumbling with annoyance, a frown on my forehead.

What was that?

Sunshine?

Sunrise?

Why was it so quiet around me?

Where was I?

Reluctantly peeling my eyes open I adjusted my view to focus on the surroundings.

The first thing I notice is that the "sunshine" is actually a blazing lightbulb enclosed in a plain cream coloured lampshade hanging directly above my head. It's overpowering and not helping my throbbing headache either, causing me to squirm, my gaze lowered as I twist my head to the left to face the windows.

Though the blinds and maroon velvety curtains have been drawn closed, through a small gap I can appreciate that its actually still dark outside. The pitter patter against the glass quashing any doubts I have of the weather as I shiver further under the cosy covers.

Not a good start to the morning at all.

Exhaling, I rub my forehead before making a move to push myself up off the mattress onto my elbows when I suddenly buckle due to my right hand, which has strangely been restricted from moving.

Quickly steadying my balance by shifting my weight onto my left hand, my focus shifts to where my other is and my eyes widen with surprise when I find Sid fast asleep on the seat beside me.

With his arms crossed over onto a small section of the duvet, I gush to myself when I find my hand cushioned between his own, his fingers interwoven with mine, clasping them tightly; the reason why I hadn't been able to release myself before. His head rests gently on top, drooping ever so slightly back and forth in his slumber.

The warmth of his face against my skin seems to spread through to my own burning cheeks as I smile to myself.

Slowly, holding my breath, careful not to wake him, I dip back again, laying low till my head nestles into the soft pillow as I watch him.

The sight is so perfect, so pure, so angelic...just like Sid.

I'm stumped as I watch in silent admiration, his face contains maturity of a man signified by his strong jawline and shapely cheekbones that are lit with a brilliant radiance; a natural trait and yet shining brighter than the light falling onto us from above.

In the same instant, my face tilts as I notice the adorable childlike aspect of his pouting lips as he swallows. Taking a deep sigh, he adjusts his head so it falls to one side, his mouth now slightly grazing the bump of my knuckle causing my finger to shudder before I force myself to still upon the acknowledgment.

My heart pounding in my chest I look to his eyes, as if expecting Sid to be awake.

Yet, sheltered by the dark, curly locks matted against his forehead, evidently his eyes are shut, his expression, peaceful; Sid is away with the fairies, completely oblivious to the on goings of the world.

As I watch him, my body twists round on it's own as my free hand reaches towards his head.

It's an urge different to any I've had before. An urge that I've never experienced with Sid before.

My fingers stroke the side of his face and automatically I jump a little, when he turns his head further towards my palm, as if welcoming the gesture.

I smile, my thumb gently ruffles his hair as I continue unhindered to embrace the liberty at which I dare to reveal my deepest feelings.

Such a fool... I think to myself as a tear slips onto my cheek.

There was nothing daring about this - in a room with no audience, no once to appreciate this affection I was pouring out from the darkest corners of my heart, not even the man towards whom it was directed.

Yet, how could he know?

Why would he know?

If he hadn't been asleep, would I ever behave in this way?

Of course, not!

And yet I was permitting these emotions to command me. Acting on them as if there was a reason for them.

Like a fool.

What would come of this?

And I had my answer.

Nothing would come of it.

That was all the worth of hidden feelings.

Nothing.

They weren't meant to be brought before the world, before Sid, because if he knew, he wouldn't accept me, he couldn't.

He'd judge me like everyone else.

Anyone else.

And Sid wasn't just anyone.

And that's why he could never know.

Holding the image of his face in my mind, I closed my eyes, locking it away as if a dream, I felt my fingers pause on the curve of his silky soft cheek.

I needed to control myself.

This longing of him, causing me to act in this way, to have these thoughts about him, emotions swirling deep within my chest - they needed to be suppressed.

It would be difficult. Especially if I was to face him everyday.

But...I wouldn't be able to leave again.

I couldn't run from Sid.

Who was I to take his best friend away?

I couldn't do that, not after everything he'd been through.

Not after everyone he'd lost already.

I needed to do this.

At whatever cost, even it hurt me deep internally.

For what could hidden feelings ever give if not the sweet pain that was now seeping down from my eyes.

I heard the light clunk of a tear drop as it drenched the cotton fabric of the pillowcase.

What was the point of hidden feelings, what good could ever come of them?

Nothing. Nothing good anyway.

They couldn't benefit anyone.

They would remain unacknowledged, unrequited... because they were never meant to be.

"Shilpa?" Sid groans, his voice husky and coarse as my eyes fly open.

Disoriented, his eyes adjusting to the blinding light; he shrugs away, his face shrinking further into his arms, and my hand, as I feel his mouth against my skin.

Suddenly, as if he recognises the unfamiliarity of the surface he raises his head, frowning at the sight of the back of my hand, I gasp quickly wrenching it away.

Hastily scrambling up using the covers, my sleek hair flying all over the place as I sit up in bed, I feel Sid turn his gaze towards me. My breathing is raspy as if I've just ran a marathon in the space of a moment.

A few seconds pass and I dare not look in his direction, my focus straight ahead and yet I don't see anything.

All I know, all I feel, is the erratic thumping of my heart in my chest as I try and calm myself down.

Then I notice it.

A glinting sparkle in the corner, the sequins from the bodice of my dress.

My dress folded over the back of the wooden chair stood in the left hand corner near the window.

The dress Sid had gifted to me.

The dress I'd been wearing at the party.

The dress I should be wearing right now.

The dress that now hangs over the back of the wooden chair before me.

My eyes narrow as I try to make sense of what they behold.

"Wh-?..." I breathe.

Glancing down, my hand scrunches around the collar of the white Kurta that adorns me instead.

Confused, my body instinctively stiffens within the strange folds, refusing the material as my eyes meet Sid's.

He frowns at me, still disheveled, he glances at the surroundings of the room trying to find the cause for my reaction.

Did you...? I want to say.

But I can't as my eyes turn away, ashamed.

I feel violated.

There's a small voice in the back of my head which accepts that as a doctor, Sid would have done what he thought was reasonable in the circumstances; what he'd do with any other patient.

But I'm not just another patient.

I'm not just anyone.

We're...friends.

The word in fact comes across too feeble to describe us.

He's Sid.

I'm Shilpa.

There are boundaries that are erected between us; yes, there are those which were yet to be established, but those which have always stood between us like brick walls, defining our limits, that merely needed to be preserved.

Yet now...I'm not so sure.

They had existed but then... how were they crossed and that too so bluntly.

Never giving me the opportunity to retaliate, to defend them, to defend myself.

To act to the contrary... I would have held back.

But I couldn't have done.

And neither did Sid.

What lies between us now, just blurred lines.

But Shilpa, my conscience placates me, you wished for this proximity moments ago, you enjoyed it...

But this is not the way things were supposed to happen! I cry.

...This wasn't supposed to happen.

Trying to take baby steps and instead hastily leaping and bounding and arriving at the wrong destination is how I feel.

Only a million times worse.

This isn't what I wanted.

And yet it's no one's fault.

But that doesn't make me feel better as I feel the tears pricking in my eyes.

Everything is wrong.

This isn't what I wanted at all.

*****

Thank You for reading! 

Comments/Likes always much appreciated Embarrassed


Coming up: Sid's reaction.

A/N : Yes, the above pretty much speaks for itself. I know this update may be welcomed as a teaser like the previous one but again it was the right place to end. SidShi need a chapter dedicated to themselves especially when alot needs to be said/explained WinkBig smile.

I hope you liked this one, I feel once we get moving there'll be no stopping but hey, what do I know? I'll be waiting to hear your thoughts!

Let me know please.

Thank you once again for taking the time out to readSmile

Till next time, N xo

P.s. If anyone wants to be added/removed from the PM list please add me as a buddy/let me know and I shall act as appropriate :)




Edited by nm21 - 26 June 2013 at 1:07pm

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
Yes please post the chapter now!!!

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nm21

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