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SidShiFF:Part51 I Pg 91 - Chahoon Main Ya Naa (Page 76)

sidsk IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 September 2006
Posts: 11729

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:28am | IP Logged
ufff!! as a fellow writer I can really appreciate and understand why you posted this short part but as a reader... argh!!!
LOL but wow!! as always I'm in serious do you do it each and every time! Im typing from my phone as the my kid is busy playing on my laptop. as soon as she moves I promise to comment on both these chapters or the latest by tonight...won't ask you to update soon since I know I'm being a nikammi for not commenting but you should know I'm about to fall off the edge that I'm hanging off in extreme anticipation to know what happens next. :)
You seriously are the best writer out there!

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-Mrs.SKMehwish- IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 23 January 2011
Posts: 38277

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:30am | IP Logged
Ladyofshalott Groupbie

Joined: 17 October 2011
Posts: 62

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 4:03am | IP Logged
Its too short...update the next chapter soon...
NKIqbal Newbie

Joined: 12 June 2008
Posts: 18

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 4:21am | IP Logged
That was too short Nish!!! We all want to know how Sid feels after Shilpa's confession!!! Even though this chapter was short, I still love how you portrayed Shilpa's inner turmoil and fear of rejection!!! Too good!!! Update soon!!!

Namra aka Nimzie
sidsk IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 September 2006
Posts: 11729

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 1:20pm | IP Logged
Part 42 

First of all , thank you so much for the praises you have showered me with it the beginning of this part...really, I dont deserve it but coming from such an amazing writer its is a huge compliment...Big smile

Coming to the chapter, you should know that I was completely lost while reading this part...when it ended, it was like I came back into the real world...

You have an amazing ability to grip and pull people into your world of fiction...

In the beginning, I love how she is running through his details in her he reacts, his behavior, everything...goes to show how well she knows him...

Suddenly he swayed forward, causing her to inhale sharply, her eyes immediately lowering to confront his mouth, the little space between their faces getting even smaller in a second as she held her breath.

And yet in the next moment she found herself ridden with a deep void; somewhat confused, she peeked at Sid hesitantly, watching him propel himself off the wall away from her, Shilpa was immediately subsided by a strange disappointment and longing...all the time becoming dreadfully aware she should have felt relieved.

I LOVE how her emotions kept switching here...and you portrayed it so well! She is shocked at his proximity in one second and the next second she's disappointed when he moves away...its like she didnt even realize that she was expecting something to happen.

And yet there was still a restlessness singeing deep within his chest which wouldn't allow him to embrace the comforting sensation.
All he could think of was Ansh.
Is this how Ansh must have felt when Shilpa had taken care of him too?
Is that how she saw them both, patients in need of treatment?
Is that really what Ansh meant to her though?
Was that all Sid meant to her...?
It couldn't be.

He's jealous...he doesnt even realize that one of the reasons he hates Ansh is because of his connection with Shilpa...they share a deep past, something Sid is unaware of but knows that it was intense...Ansh affects Shilpa and Sid hates it...not just as a close friend but something more...but he is yet to realize that.

They, together, were different.

Beautiful simple, yet it conveys a lot.

I like how she suddenly turned on him...all fiery and angry...even though I am actually on Sid's side...LOL

"I've never been so terrified in my life than what I was tonight. Seeing you walk away from me Shilpa..." she felt him shudder as he took a deep breath. "Watching you walk away ignited something within me, Shilpa. Something that has never been there before..."
"I had to stop you Shilpa because I know you don't want to go either. No matter how many distances you try to put between us I will overcome them all. I will always fight for you Shilpa, whether you like it or not..."

I can so imagine Sid saying that...*sigh* and this is why I want KW back in a show...they way he used to deliver such dialogues...Day Dreaming

Tidily tracing a finger against a lock of hair that had fallen across her forehead, he looked deep into her eyes, "Isn't that what you told me? That you'd never stop fighting?"
She folded her lips, clenching her eyes shut, as he placed her forehead against hers, "Then why are you giving up now?"

Awww!!! Those tender... Day Dreaming

I wanted to paste his whole dialogue because each and every word was so perfect...Shilpa needed to hear this, needed to know what place she has in Sid's life...

Focusing on his lips, he watched as Shilpa gradually closed her eyes, inclining her face towards him as he naturally mirrored her actions, his eyelids fluttered to a close as he anticipated her next move.

Ahan! He too moved towards her and his eyes he was expecting something...and had he not been ready for it or uncomfortable with it, he wouldnt have closed his eyes...I'm so totally loving this!

And in the end those three words...those eight letters...that whole paragraph is written brilliantly! 
Three words that he longed desperately to hear from Tamanna...then Riddhima...but definitely not from Shilpa.
And yet here they are...

Fabulous Nish!...Way beyond brilliant...everything in this chapter must have happened in just a few minutes...and yet the way you've written it...detailing every nuances of emotions , their reactions, their behavior...the shift in their relationship...
Ek lamhe mein simmat aaya hai sadiyon ka safar as they say...

I wasnt just reading this...for a few minutes, I was actually living their lives, feeling what they were feeling...and let me tell you, not many writers can do hats off!

I wish you owned a big production house so that you could have taken KW and SA and made them dance to your brilliant tunes...Big smile

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nikita_88 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 36918

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
Reserved I have two parts to read! So sorry! 


Nish I was so busy I did not have time to read your last part which by the way was amazing... Do not doubt yourself... 

I am glad I read the two updates together otherwise I would be screaming update update update... Actually I still am but slightly less LOL cause Shilpa has fainted so we can have some insight into Sid's thoughts and he better not heart her because I will beat him up Evil Smile... 

I loved how simple she said the I love you... not in the sense that she just told him but the way she said those words, I mean it was like the big elephant in the room disappeared... Now they can decide how to take things forward... I know I am jumping the gun but I am an optimistic soul LOL

I loved how he didn't let the topic go and the stubborness in them I love because it is out of concern and not selfishness... 

Nish you are just as good as Sidra, you both make me want ShiRan on screen so much more... 

Update soon x 

I need more days off work LOL so I can comment properly LOL

Edited by nikita_88 - 12 June 2013 at 10:29am

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-jas- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 15 July 2010
Posts: 4002

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
M loving the story,, can't wait for next update,, tusi great witer ho ji,, plisss plisss update soon,, 

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hangok IF-Rockerz

Joined: 24 July 2012
Posts: 6124

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
owww poor shilpa,
this was too short, we couldnt read sids reaction and i dont think we can see or know his feelings because he will care for shilpa now...

waiting for the next part, soon very very soon pleaseee

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