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SidShiFF:Part50 I Pg 87 - Teri Khata hai, mere jiya... (Page 76)

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btalwar

Goldie

btalwar

Joined: 04 March 2012

Posts: 1325

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 12:18am | IP Logged
I am not going to like this update ... because this was way to SHORT ... update like NOW AngryAngryAngry ... u just cannot do this to us ... this was worse than showing a PRECAP ...
 
Begging ... (gets down on knees with pallu in both hands) ... please update now now now

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sidsk

IF-Rockerz

sidsk

Joined: 01 September 2006

Posts: 9812

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:28am | IP Logged
ufff!! as a fellow writer I can really appreciate and understand why you posted this short part but as a reader... argh!!!
LOL but wow!! as always I'm in serious awe...how do you do it each and every time! Im typing from my phone as the my kid is busy playing on my laptop. as soon as she moves I promise to comment on both these chapters or the latest by tonight...won't ask you to update soon since I know I'm being a nikammi for not commenting sooner...lol. but you should know I'm about to fall off the edge that I'm hanging off in extreme anticipation to know what happens next. :)
You seriously are the best writer out there!

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nm21

MehwisMixcoTree

IF-Stunnerz

MehwisMixcoTree

Joined: 23 January 2011

Posts: 38119

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:30am | IP Logged
awesome 

Ladyofshalott

Groupbie

Ladyofshalott

Joined: 17 October 2011

Posts: 63

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 4:03am | IP Logged
Its too short...update the next chapter soon...
plzzz...

NKIqbal

Newbie

NKIqbal

Joined: 12 June 2008

Posts: 18

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 4:21am | IP Logged
That was too short Nish!!! We all want to know how Sid feels after Shilpa's confession!!! Even though this chapter was short, I still love how you portrayed Shilpa's inner turmoil and fear of rejection!!! Too good!!! Update soon!!!

Cheers
Namra aka Nimzie
XD

sidsk

IF-Rockerz

sidsk

Joined: 01 September 2006

Posts: 9812

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 1:20pm | IP Logged
Part 42 

First of all , thank you so much for the praises you have showered me with it the beginning of this part...really, I dont deserve it but coming from such an amazing writer its is a huge compliment...Big smile

Coming to the chapter, you should know that I was lost...so completely lost while reading this part...when it ended, it was like I came back into the real world...

You have an amazing ability to grip and pull people into your world of fiction...

In the beginning, I love how she is running through his details in her mind...how he reacts, his behavior, everything...goes to show how well she knows him...

Suddenly he swayed forward, causing her to inhale sharply, her eyes immediately lowering to confront his mouth, the little space between their faces getting even smaller in a second as she held her breath.

And yet in the next moment she found herself ridden with a deep void; somewhat confused, she peeked at Sid hesitantly, watching him propel himself off the wall away from her, Shilpa was immediately subsided by a strange disappointment and longing...all the time becoming dreadfully aware she should have felt relieved.

I LOVE how her emotions kept switching here...and you portrayed it so well! She is shocked at his proximity in one second and the next second she's disappointed when he moves away...its like she didnt even realize that she was expecting something to happen.

And yet there was still a restlessness singeing deep within his chest which wouldn't allow him to embrace the comforting sensation.
All he could think of was Ansh.
Is this how Ansh must have felt when Shilpa had taken care of him too?
Is that how she saw them both, patients in need of treatment?
Is that really what Ansh meant to her though?
Was that all Sid meant to her...?
It couldn't be.

He's jealous...he doesnt even realize that one of the reasons he hates Ansh is because of his connection with Shilpa...they share a deep past, something Sid is unaware of but knows that it was intense...Ansh affects Shilpa and Sid hates it...not just as a close friend but something more...but he is yet to realize that.

They, together, were different.

Beautiful line...so simple, yet it conveys a lot.

I like how she suddenly turned on him...all fiery and angry...even though I am actually on Sid's side...LOL

"I've never been so terrified in my life than what I was tonight. Seeing you walk away from me Shilpa..." she felt him shudder as he took a deep breath. "Watching you walk away ignited something within me, Shilpa. Something that has never been there before..."
"I had to stop you Shilpa because I know you don't want to go either. No matter how many distances you try to put between us I will overcome them all. I will always fight for you Shilpa, whether you like it or not..."

I can so imagine Sid saying that...*sigh* and this is why I want KW back in a show...they way he used to deliver such dialogues...Day Dreaming

Tidily tracing a finger against a lock of hair that had fallen across her forehead, he looked deep into her eyes, "Isn't that what you told me? That you'd never stop fighting?"
She folded her lips, clenching her eyes shut, as he placed her forehead against hers, "Then why are you giving up now?"

Awww!!! Those gestures...so tender... Day Dreaming

I wanted to paste his whole dialogue because each and every word was so perfect...Shilpa needed to hear this, needed to know what place she has in Sid's life...

Focusing on his lips, he watched as Shilpa gradually closed her eyes, inclining her face towards him as he naturally mirrored her actions, his eyelids fluttered to a close as he anticipated her next move.

Ahan! He too moved towards her and his eyes closed...so he was expecting something...and had he not been ready for it or uncomfortable with it, he wouldnt have closed his eyes...I'm so totally loving this!

And in the end those three words...those eight letters...that whole paragraph is written brilliantly! 
Three words that he longed desperately to hear from Tamanna...then Riddhima...but definitely not from Shilpa.
And yet here they are...

Fabulous Nish!...Way beyond brilliant...everything in this chapter must have happened in just a few minutes...and yet the way you've written it...detailing every nuances of emotions , their reactions, their behavior...the shift in their relationship...
Ek lamhe mein simmat aaya hai sadiyon ka safar as they say...

I wasnt just reading this...for a few minutes, I was actually living their lives, feeling what they were feeling...and let me tell you, not many writers can do that...so hats off!

I wish you owned a big production house so that you could have taken KW and SA and made them dance to your brilliant tunes...Big smile


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nm21

nikita_88

IF-Stunnerz

nikita_88

Joined: 02 May 2005

Posts: 36876

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
Reserved I have two parts to read! So sorry! 

*Unreserved* 

Nish I was so busy I did not have time to read your last part which by the way was amazing... Do not doubt yourself... 

I am glad I read the two updates together otherwise I would be screaming update update update... Actually I still am but slightly less LOL cause Shilpa has fainted so we can have some insight into Sid's thoughts and he better not heart her because I will beat him up Evil Smile... 

I loved how simple she said the I love you... not in the sense that she just told him but the way she said those words, I mean it was like the big elephant in the room disappeared... Now they can decide how to take things forward... I know I am jumping the gun but I am an optimistic soul LOL

I loved how he didn't let the topic go and the stubborness in them I love because it is out of concern and not selfishness... 

Nish you are just as good as Sidra, you both make me want ShiRan on screen so much more... 

Update soon x 

I need more days off work LOL so I can comment properly LOL


Edited by nikita_88 - 12 June 2013 at 10:29am

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nm21

-jas-

IF-Dazzler

-jas-

Joined: 15 July 2010

Posts: 4090

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
M loving the story,, can't wait for next update,, tusi great witer ho ji,, plisss plisss update soon,, 

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nm21

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