Posted: 10 February 2011 at 7:00pm | IP Logged
Thank you all again for the comments, I loved reading your feedback and yes, sorry this has taken a little longer to write and update...just been busy with studies...hope you all enjoy ths next part...
Part 5: "Saving You, Saved Me..."
Luminous rays of the moonlight struggled to overcome the dusky shadows of the night. Instead, as if it realised it would be hidden, it lit up the clouds daring to cover it, rendering them to a bright navy blue in the menacing sea of black; a beautiful spectacle of sinister colours in the sky. Stars sparkled at random intervals across the landscape contributing to the splendour of the sight.
From his bedroom window, Sid watched as the clouds gently shifted, defeated and overwhelmed by the radiance of the moon, the smokey gleams now penetrating the dark mist. He inclined his head to rest it on the window frame and folded his arms as he appreciated the exquisite display.
A soft murmur from behind distracted him and he turned around to face Shilpa as she slept soundly in his bed. The bedside light luminated her face assisting Sid in scrutinising her expression. She had been disturbed momentarily, maybe a bad dream had caused the deep crease in her forehead. She relaxed again and shifted, turning her face away as she did, so Sid couldn't see it anymore and fell back to sleep, evidenced by the slow rise and dip of the duvet due to her breathing.
He watched her till he was assured she wouldn't wake up then turned his head back towards the open window. As the moonlight touched his face, a light breeze blew and he closed his eyes inhaling the breath of fresh air.
He had always loved nature, especially in the form of splendid views from his bedroom. It was a definite requirment on his checklist whenever he had gone to inspect new apartments. Whenever he was troubled or upset, whenever problems surfaced or even when he simply needed a break from everything, or everyone, he would look out the window.
He could stand there for hours just watching...waiting for the atmosphere to change, sunrise to sunset, dawn till dusk. A gorgeous transformation which not everyone witnessed.
He had lost himself a few hours before, lost himself to the little corner of hate bubbling inside his heart... and he knew he shouldn't have done. He had promised himself he wouldn't get angry, ever again. What was the point? It wouldn't help anyone, least of all him. It wouldn't change anything,...well, maybe it would change him...but for the worse and that's something he never wanted, never. A new start...a new start...he repeated over and over in his mind.
When Shilpa had turned her back and walked away, he had gone through such a phase of emotions in the space of that one night. That one very long, dark, night. He had driven home hysterical, upset, emotional, the feeling of lonlieness suffocating him, enveloping him till he couldn't breathe.
Wasn't there anyone out there who would actually stand with him and support him for once?? Didn't anyone want him? His encounter with Shilpa had given him a new hope, someone who understood exactly how he felt....they both had lost someone they had loved...he opened his arms to her and she'd left...left him there with a longing...a longing for acceptance, especially as a friend. If only a friend...
The surge of pain from the rejection had travelled through his veins, through his whole body.
Yet, the vulnerability had quickly turned to aggression. "I don't need anyone!" he had bellowed within the four walls of his room, the sound reverberating back to him after every cry, repeating the same words to him over and over again.
The next few days had been a rollercoaster ride; self sympathy then denial, some more sympathy, some more denial...he hadn't bothered going to work. Well, they probably would have fired him by now anyway...he didn't know, he didn't care. No one had got in touch...and in those five days, the silence became comfortable, easy, a habit.
Until it had been broken....with the sound of Shilpa's thumbing knocks on the front door, her calls for acknowledgement, her pleas for forgiveness. This had triggered something in Sid; he recalled her soft, hurt expression as he had hurled abuse at her, shaken her like a twig, ignored her request to release her, instead grabbing her harder, transferring all that hate from within, upon her.
He felt his head drop automatically in embarrassment, ashamed at what he'd said to her, what he'd done to her...how he never gave her the opportunity to prove him wrong. Eventhough he had been, in fact he was, so so wrong...
He had realised his mistake only too soon and had rushed after Shilpa, desperate to speak to her...what was he thinking?! She had come to resolve the problem and all he had done was make it worse..
He had hurriedly opened the door to follow after her, but had been stopped in his tracks when, unexpectedly, Shilpa's head lolled forward, falling onto the floor before him. His eyes flew open as the memory materialised within his mind.
He remembered his panic as he collapsed to the floor, his hand shaking as he hastily turned Shilpa around, touching the bloody wound on her forehead. She had lost alot of blood, and her body was ice cold, which wasn't surprising bearing in mind how long she had been outside. He had checked her pulse, but he needn't have bothered, there was no way he would have let her gone. He couldn't, they still had unfinished business.
He had carried her in his arms to his room. First, covering her with as many layers as he could find; his wooly jumper he wrapped around her, then his numerous blankets and finally his heavy duvet. Next, he'd sprinted to the kitchen grabbing whatever he could think of, first-aid box, hot water bottle, a basin of water to clean the wound.
Sometimes, it did help to be a doctor, but in this situation, all that had been required was common sense. He knew because as he had tended to Shilpa's wound, he hadn't thought for a second as to what he was doing. Course, you could argue it was because he was used to the procedure from working in Sanjeevani for so long that he hadn't contemplated his next form of action.. but it wasn't...he knew because of how he had felt.
His motivation, the impulse to treat Shilpa, hadn't been because he wanted to save a patient... No, he had treated Shilpa because he wanted to save Shilpa, he had wanted to save his friend.
Sid flinched as he heard a sharp gasp from behind him where Shilpa lay. Within the next second he was beside her, caressing her hair to sooth her before she had even finished uttering his name, "Sid?..", her voice croaky from her slumber.
He hushed her quietly and gently stroked her hair to calm her down, "Don't worry Shilpa, I'm right here...yahin hoon, I'm with you, Shilpa" He patted her head, giving her a brave smile, he added softly,"..ab sab kuch teek hojayega..."
Thank u all for reading, please leave comments, again criticisms are always welcome too! :)
Also, would love to know what you guys thought of the title and your
interpretation as to what it means? Maybe....I couldn't think of
something more appropriate-what would you have called the extract? :) Would love to know your thoughts!
Love and luck, big hug! to everryonee xxxx
Edited by nm21 - 11 February 2011 at 3:46am