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Bollywood Chit Chat Corner 4 (Page 113)

petticoat IF-Stunnerz
petticoat
petticoat

Joined: 19 October 2006
Posts: 31655

Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:25pm | IP Logged
My friend wrote this..read this if u have patience :P

Tutorial on how to act shy indian style

My friend came up with this over the course of a conversation. All credits to the queen! I am not sure if she wants her name mentioned so I shall refrain

-----------------------------------------
CLASSES FROM MAATEY

This is the eligibility criterion for joining my classes-

1.Manicured hands & Pedicured Feet.
2. No facial hair & shapely threaded eye brows 
3.Waxed arms & legs
In short, you must be a beauty parlor regular at least.

In the traditional Indian way, let us break a coconut in front of the Great Indian Television women who have epitomized the act of "acting shy" and take their blessings. *breaks coconut*

Step-1: Put on proper make up- make sure the shade of lipstick, eye shadow, rouge is all right. Put TONS and TONS of Mascara and eyeliner (you will learn the importance of mascara as we progress)

Step-2: After doing your make up by sitting in front of the mirror for AT LEAST 1 hour, take a good look at yourself, then bat your eyelashes (THIS is where you will understand the importance of the Mascara Layers, the fluttering effect is directly proportional to the amount of mascara which, in turn, is directly proportional to the best of the results) , smile lightly (this should ensure that your cheeks flush, the redness of the flush should give stiff competition to the Red colored rouge on your cheeks- BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH lowes) and turn your face away looking sideward slowly, with one hand on your chin (if you are turning leftwards, your right hand should be on your chin and vice versa).

Angle can be adjusted as per your convenience, PERFECT/EXACT Angle= BEST Sharmaofying (acting shy) EFFECT.

If cracks appear in the mirror, don't let the mirror bring you down , change the mirror and practice till you get the downward tilting angle of your head (after looking sideward) right! You should be able to master it with the next 1008946797 attempts but please be careful and don't get frustrated when you don't get it right else you might end up spraining your neck

Step-3: Wear your best designer choodidhar or sari (the cloth should be CHIFFON or LACE ONLY) and take a look at yourself in the mirror, wear pointed heel sandals and practice cat walking in a straight line without tripping. Make sure that when you walk the hips sway gracefully (bolo Madhuri Dixit Ki JAI!)

The choodidhar HAS to be body hugging, it's okay even if you feel choked, breathless and are waiting to tear out of the dress (Chant "Priyanka Chopra Rocks" for inspiration) and if you are wearing a sari, the blouse MUST have a dori

Heel inch should be maximum that is available in the market and NO if you fall no HAWT guy with GAWJUS smile will catch you, so you need to be very careful. Remind yourself that your kamaariya(waist) will not matak(sway) if you trip since NO ONE will catch you to prevent your fall!

If you practice properly by walking slowly along a straight line with FULL CONCENTRATION, you will not sprain your foot - FOCUS IS THE KEY! Just imagine the horror of the situation if you sprain your foot & cannot walk graciously in high heels, sharmaofy & impress your WOH (groom), keep that in mind ALWAYS while you are practicing, then you will automatically begin to be careful. Please remember that the possibilities of HAWT n GAWJUS guys carrying you are very less (it is not at all easy to lift weights above 55kg) & EVEN less are the chances of the guy's arms having miraculous healing powers, not everyone possesses such super natural powers, else they wouldn't be called miraculous healing powers.

If you have long/medium/short, silky, beautiful hair should be left fully open or half open using a hair clutch (if your hair is not silky please use the hair straightening iron), since the ghooghat would be covering most of the hair, a few strands should be allowed to appear on the face from within the ghoonghat so that those few strands would lightly fly enhancing the sharmaofying effect (bolo baba Yash Chopra ki Jai Ho).

Step-4: Now that you have learnt how to matak and jhatak your kamariya (sway your hips) properly, go to the kitchen where mummy will keep the chai ka tray ready for you (NO whether or not you know how to prepare a chai is not really important), Pull your chunni or sari pallu over your head ,bend and take mummy's blessings and gently take the tray into your hands - ensure that the tray is perpendicular yo your body and parallel to the ground you are standing on. Remember to keep looking into the chai errr I mean keep your head down (Tip: Assume that there is a fly floating in the tea or better you only catch one and drop it in the tea, this will ensure that you don't look up because you will be trying to suppress your laughter and suppressing your laughter= light smile ' a fly serves two purposes). If you think it is difficult to balance tray and chunni and are scared that the chai tray is going to fall over the groom and his family, do not worry. This is why I suggest lace. Lace will stick to your hair when you pull your chunni/pallu up without letting it fall. In case you are wearing chiffon you have to clip the pallu or chunni to your hair using slides so that it doesn't fall off!

Mummy will ensure there is no hurdle in your raastha(route) so you will be able to make it without looking up , of course if you have to turn when you need to go from one room to another you are allowed to look up for a fraction of a second, however, MAKHI (makhi=fly) should remain your FOCUS!


Important tip: Please keep the windows open in the room where your WOH(groom) is waiting for you & your special Makhi(Fly) waali tea (windows must be kept open so that the air comes in to gently blow the hair strands on your face coz hair flying is an important LOWE SFX , if there is no natural breeze outside, hide a stand fan strategically behind the window such that it acts as the air source for the hair to fly when switched on ), in case such a hair flying arrangement is not possible, one can try skillful hair flicking methods or twirling the hair around the finger while looking down coyly .

For those who are wondering why Make-Up is an important step in sharmaofying(acting shy), please remember that it's the Mahan Bharatiya Naris(Great Indian Women on TV) who are our inspiration behind all this process.

Make Up is VERY important, have you observed the Mahan Bharatiya Naris(Great Indian Women) on TV and Movies without make up, EVER?





Edited by bandicoot - 31 January 2011 at 12:28pm

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Nuktaacheen IF-Dazzler
Nuktaacheen
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Joined: 07 July 2010
Posts: 3689

Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:25pm | IP Logged
i don't like recruting agencies much... i tried both last time, but the job i eventually found was the one i applied for myself....!!   try both... you never know....
 
someone help me with my revisions... it's hard becoming a student again...!!   LOLLOL  
Meena1 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 27 December 2005
Posts: 27397

Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:30pm | IP Logged
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Meena1 IF-Stunnerz

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Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:31pm | IP Logged
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Nuktaacheen

Nuktaacheen IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 07 July 2010
Posts: 3689

Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Meena1

Originally posted by Nuktaacheen

i don't like recruting agencies much... i tried both last time, but the job i eventually found was the one i applied for myself....!!   try both... you never know....
 
someone help me with my revisions... it's hard becoming a student again...!!   LOLLOL  
wht sort..?
 
arey, it's simple enough.... i just like to complain sometimes...!   LOLLOLLOL   it's just i haven't touched a book (for studies, i.e.) in the past 8 years almost.... EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed   now the idea that i'll be going back and studying with kids, is a bit, hmmm.... what' the word i'm looking for.... formidable...?  
 
it'll be fine, i'm sure... as of now, sometimes, i just worry that i'm too old... EmbarrassedLOLLOLLOL
 

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sakura_ IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 31 July 2007
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Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Meena1

yea..  thats true.. but theres got to be something for the architecture/planner areas..  have you checked out Structure Tone..? i know nothing abt the field..LOL i do have this one friend who's working there..
Havent heard of Structure Tone...will look abhie. Thanks for the suggestion girl.

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Nuktaacheen

Meena1 IF-Stunnerz

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Posted: 31 January 2011 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
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