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Analysis of 3rd episode - Apara & Sarita

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Posted: 27 January 2011 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
okay so it was an interesting week. although more focus was clearly laid on apara and her experience, I think that was quite justified considering the fact that there was more conflict of interest there LOL anyway, coming to the moms, this is my analysis:

1) sarita - she's clearly a pativrata housewife. she works day in and day out for the welfare of her family without an ounce of acknowledgement or appreciation from their side. I think when people see women of the house following the same routine everyday, they start believing that none of it affects her at all. when women don't express their resentment, their lack of expression is perceived as acceptance. she looked like the kind of woman who had been brought up to believe in the sacred bond of marriage and the importance of sticking together - which was further affirmed by the family she was married into. in simple words, the family was dysfunctional. the men were dependent on woman for their well being & seva (they're being looked after for free) and the women were dependent on the men for financial security. 

I did not appreciate sarita's attempt to make khushali's father come back into the family. broken relationships are not mended in the wink of an eye. separation/divorce in real life is not like soap operas where the couple come back together after a prolonged session of weeping and howling. and if two people have amicably split (and might even get divorced soon) then why even try to bring them back?

sarita - darshan you should stay with your family.
darshan - but why?
sarita - because marriage is a social contract that puts you under the obligation to stay with your partner for the rest of your life. you cannot escape by way of incompatibility and conflict of interest.
apara - but he walked out and left us alone!
sarita - so? he's your husband and your child's father.
apara and darshan - uh........

I liked how darshan told her that sometimes two people don't work out as a couple; but they click as friends - so they should let it be at that only. 

as for the rules, I agreed with most of them, except the one that didn't make the old lady happy. she was way too cute and cool Embarrassed if she wants to watch TV all day, then dude, let her be! it's not like she's sabotaging any other important activity of her life for it.

overall, I think sarita is an extremely restrained and restricted due to her 'housewife' persona. too much freedom baffles and amazes her at the same time. she definitely does not identify with the working woman and her lifestyle.

2) apara - I liked her a lot more than sarita (one reason for that may be that we were shown a lot more of her) she was more sorted in regard to her thoughts and feelings, more emotionally stable, knew what she wanted in life and had a goal. I felt she had brought up a much more sensible and sensitive kid than sarita - khushali knew how to respond to certain questions relating to her parents' spit, and also seemed quite frank and open about her life. 

she did well during the first 4 days - did not whine and crib too much. a dysfunctional joint family is quite a lot to cope up with, and she did a fairly good job especially considering that she's not used to so many people swarming around her at all times. I did have an issue with her constant interference in sudesh's life. firstly, she has no business inquiring about their married life, secondly, even if she wants to know about sudesh's affairs, she should have just asked him directly and if he said no, should have just let it go. but I guess she was sympathizing with sarita at that point and probed the matter from her point of view. 

I agreed with most rule changes here too, except the one that banned sudesh from hukka smoking. she should have banned him from hukka smoking in the house, because it's not only bad for everyone's health, it also creates a bad environment. everyone's entitled to their own choices, and if someone smokes or drinks, it's their own choice.

coming to the families, can I just repeat how much I loved apara's mom? Big smile she was really really sporty and I loved her little jig on sheela ki jawani LOL khushali, like I said earlier, seemed very sensible and level-headed, and co-operated with the new rules without putting up any resistance. 

the berry family annoyed me to no end. sudesh berry is a self proclaimed chauvinist (actions speak louder than words) and is proud of it. considering how he didn't do anything except of blabbering nonsense for the whole week, I wonder if he even works or not. he sat on the couch watching the drama unfold with that irritating smirk of his. and who the hell teaches his own son to smoke? Confused I have come across bad parenting, but I haven't come across a dad who advocates smoking to his son. in short, he was all words and no action. he obviously didn't respect his wife and her hard work. I wonder if he even likes his family. if not, then he should have the guts to walk out and at least leave the others in peace. par phir free seva kaun karega? he wants the seva and doesn't want to give anything in return (money can never compensate for love). if his affairs are true, then I wouldn't be surprised.

suraj seemed like the type of guy who had no personality of his own. give him the means and avenues and he'd follow the directed path without any qualms. his dad hasn't taught him to think independently and make self-decisions.

sudesh - suraj beta, hukka piyo!
suraj - jee papa.
sudesh - suraj beta, 1 baje tak soye raho!
suraj - jee papa.
sudesh - suraj beta, abhi kaam karne ki zaroorat nahi hai, masti karo!
suraj - jee papa.

shikha was the vamp. she was limited to the kitchen and kitchen politics and didn't seem to have a personality that grew beyond that space. no wonder her husband was the quiet one LOL some women like sarita live in silent acceptance; some women like shikha channel out their resentment in the form of endless taunts and back-chatting. what a 'happy' family.

all in all, good episode. apara clearly scored for me here. she is a woman of substance. Thumbs Up

p.s - the precap looks jhakaas! with all the gaalis and all Tongue LOL


Edited by CZ.. - 27 January 2011 at 1:49pm

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Posted: 27 January 2011 at 5:21pm | IP Logged
Precap seems interesting!!!!
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Posted: 28 January 2011 at 1:17am | IP Logged
I have to agree with the topic starter. I was actually uite impressed with Apara. She is clealy a women of substance. I loved her mom she just followed the new rules strictly even her daughter seems like that she has been brought upp really nicely. I don't even wanna go in setails regarding Sudesh family. But i will say once again. I loved Apara.

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Posted: 28 January 2011 at 2:35am | IP Logged
dont know why sarita was so insistent on snatching the telephone from that poor old lady. poor thing she doesnt have many things for entertainment and why would this lady want to snatch even that. so rude. Angry

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pratts

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Posted: 28 January 2011 at 3:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by fast trak

dont know why sarita was so insistent on snatching the telephone from that poor old lady. poor thing she doesnt have many things for entertainment and why would this lady want to snatch even that. so rude. Angry
 
I didnt see exactly what happened here except I saw the telephone snatching scene in some precap but I agree it was absolutely unnecessary and very very rude.  it was as if she was snatching goodies away from a small kid.  It was very very rude of sarita to do that, is that how she will treat her MIL in the futureConfused To set a rule is one thing and to actually unplug the phone and hide it away is heights of stupidity and insensitiveness.  What else does the old lady have to do full day alone in the house, talk to somebody and watch TV, she had a problem with that---AND has no problem with her teenage son sleeping half the way and smoking half hte day-what nonsense.  In the berry household no one listens to her so she was trying to be a control freak in apara's house. but I just absolutely loved the old lady, she was such a sport about it, not only did she comply but also did not crib or make her unhappiness known. Apara's mom was a darling and her daughter too was very well behaved in spite of berry wife instigating her regarding her dad for no reason!!  LOVED AUNTIJI and sheila jawani dance, wow


Edited by pratts - 28 January 2011 at 3:39am

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TVmonk

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Posted: 28 January 2011 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
You know honestly, I didnt like how Loha/Hukkha singh kept going on to apara about how shes a working woman and can never be a housewife.

I find it offensive when men try to dictate and categorise woman by their work status. Before I come to your topic, I just quickly want to explain my point of view on this.

Firstly, I am 23 years old and I have just started my career, I know some day I will get married, but while I am working I will be as a ambitious as I am today, The right way to balance a family and working life is in our hands. I dont agree that a successful woman cant look after her family. Woman are gifted and blessed with this talent, we are much more tolerant and can deal with situations without breaking apart.

As a woman, it is ofcourse in your hands to see if you would like to balance your work life and that is exactly what I will take care of, my mother has done it, she use to work 1pm - 10pm and before she went she use to cook lunch for us by 12pm, take us to school by 9am and get ready and go work. Celebrities like Madhuri Dixit has done it.


Now coming back to the topic. Here are my Thoughts:

Saritha:

I think I couldnt relate to her, or maybe I could've judged her better if they gave us more scenes of hers to see how she interacts with the family. From what I saw, I think she has a very traditional way of thinking, and a very close mind.

She needs to understand old people for a change. For one she shouldnt be snatching phones and closing tvs. The grandmother was sad and confused, being old can sometimes put you off your life since you dont have much left to do. SO housework and communication and television is a priority for oldies. I know this by experience, my grandmother was like this, she loved being independant, where she needed support she asked for it, but she always did her own work and took pride in it. I didnt like Saritha in this situation, it was badly handled

Arpita's Daughter was very sweet, I liked how she welcomed Saritha and also on the last day she brought cake for her and even took her to a Parlour. I think shes very considerate and well mannered. One thing I didnt agree on is how she was insensitive towards her father. No matter what the issues, I believe a family should keep their secrets within the closed doors of their house and not let it out to people. This is where the family lacked a bit of weakness. She should respect her father no matter what the issue is between her parents, its their problem.

Apara:

I liked Apara at times when she was soft spoken, she did get a little hasseled by the devrani who was treating her like a salve, IN OUR HOUSE THIS IS DONE BY THIS TIME!!! WHY???? its not like the men in the house work anyway.

Sometimes Apara interefered alot but sometimes she was easy, I liked the role she played to make a difference in Suraj's life. At least he found a goal.

LOHA SINGH!!! how can a woman live with him, his a typical villager who has no sense and is very bad spoken.

I dont understand how they all used such bad language at home. Yes I use swearing words but only whe I am between freinds or pissed off, Other then that I dont even use shut up in front of my family. I find it disrespectful and show off when people do that.

PLATES!! So if you pick up a plate your going to be less of a MAN? I dont think so, its called being civilised, nothing wrong with picking up the plate and putting it in the wash. At my house we all eat at the dining table for lunch and in the evening we have our dinner in the living room, one of us washes the dishes but all of us have the courtacy to pick up our plates and put it in the washing.

Overall. I am not impressed with either families. I think they all have flaws which they need to improve, dont see any reflection of goodness in them. One thing I dont understand is how someone can live without employment. This show actually shows the importance of Education in a individuals life. But I was to chose a mother it would definatly be APARA MEHTA!!

Sorry for baffeling, just my two centsSmile


Edited by SidRidARSHFan - 28 January 2011 at 4:54pm

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Posted: 28 January 2011 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by CZ..


p.s - the precap looks jhakaas! with all the gaalis and all Tongue LOL


OMGShockedShockedShocked I was totally excited when I saw the precapLOLLOLLOLLOL that woman who makes her husband do her work was hiliriousLOLLOLLOLLOL shes like of those fat ladies from the old 1990 movies we use to see who would torture their husbandLOLLOLLOL I cant waitTongue

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Posted: 29 January 2011 at 7:27am | IP Logged
[QUOTE=SidRidARSHFan]
As a woman, it is ofcourse in your hands to see if you would like to balance your work life and that is exactly what I will take care of, my mother has done it, she use to work 1pm - 10pm and before she went she use to cook lunch for us by 12pm, take us to school by 9am and get ready and go work. Celebrities like Madhuri Dixit has done it.
 
I am married and working and let me tell you its really tough.  Especially in cities in nuclear families.  It is a blessing to have a job 1-10 pm and I must say we cannot half the amount of work our mothers did!!  Most ladies who work in office work 9-7 p.m. and factor in the fact the travel which for most people is at least 1.5 each side, the trains are packed with most laides buying, peeling, picking their vegetables in the train to save time back home.  What I am trying to say is it is back breaking balance for middle class ladies without much help who have to leave their kids with nannies, creche and on and on and on........
 
Only thing is celebrities........ pls dont count them with us--they have a army to helpers to help them and irrespective of how much hands-on moms they claim to be--they have servants to do most of their work.  They are in a very different league altogether
 

One thing I didnt agree on is how she was insensitive towards her father. No matter what the issues, I believe a family should keep their secrets within the closed doors of their house and not let it out to people. This is where the family lacked a bit of weakness. She should respect her father no matter what the issue is between her parents, its their problem.
 
 

Sarita's daughter--I have an idea of where she is coming from.  I personally come from a Dysfunctional family and did go through a time where I really did not want nothing to do with my father--did not speak to him for 2-3 years, today the whole story is really 20 years back and it is all still fresh in my mind--I do speak to my dad now and things are all okay but one word or incident of the past brings flashbacks of everything.  In their case the whole fiasco is only seven years old and I am sure there may have been years of crap even behind that while the girl was still small, so she has some resentment against him  and she did patiently keep quiet and try not to spill the beans but it was berry's wife who was insensitive about the whole issue and kept bringing it up, not realizing the gravity of the situation and asking her father to stay with them and blah blah blah....  Really the lady thinks no man no life.........She went through the whole house no man no man no man, then the maid also she was more botherred about how her husband will live, for apara also she was worried how she can she live without husband....Berry's wife did not have hte maturity ot understand that people can exist without a husband or a wife and sometimes people can be good friends but not good spouses.  Berry's wife needs some real life education beyond the closed doors of her house and mind. 

The rest of your post I completely agree with!!!!!
 


Edited by pratts - 29 January 2011 at 7:28am

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