Rang Badalti Odhani


Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

SS: Forging UPDATED Part IV-Page 9 (Page 8)

saaaz IF-Dazzler

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 29 January 2011 at 8:45am | IP Logged

fabulous writing. To be able to write "grief" over the death of an unborn child from both the parents'  perspective is really something else...


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adventure_gurl IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 05 October 2005
Posts: 24373

Posted: 29 January 2011 at 9:10am | IP Logged
Clap Yumna that was so sad, the way you described it was well done, both fear of losing each other in the aftermath of losing their unborn child, that was so heart wrenching for both of them, awesome  job describing  it all, hope they can  start to heal in the next part!Cry

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iluvmanar IF-Dazzler

Joined: 09 October 2010
Posts: 3052

Posted: 29 January 2011 at 10:43am | IP Logged
so sad yaar...Cry,...but nicely written...

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rafia 24 IF-Dazzler
rafia 24
rafia 24

Joined: 28 July 2005
Posts: 2661

Posted: 29 January 2011 at 6:04pm | IP Logged
omg yumna talk about pulling on a girls heart strings, yaar i could understand shriya's reaction but it is a harsh reality for a lot of womenCryCryCryCry, man i think after all that we deserve another part full of happiness. the fear, concern, reactions from all were well depicted, seriously hats off, i especially liked the subtle reactions e.g. after coming back from hospital all go to dadi then into own bedrooms finding comfort in each other- beautiful and so real. i loved the khandelwels throughout this ff- a big thankyou for their inclusion,
as for the leads im speechless (wow thats a first lol) it felt so natural like i could actually picturize them doing that and khanaks pain and anguish brought tears to my eyes and shaans helplessness is soo true bechara no guy truly knows how to help their partner in these situations.
again loved it pls write another part i know in reality this happens but dont finish it with us cryingStar ClapClapClapClapClapClapStar

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sampar Senior Member

Joined: 04 August 2005
Posts: 426

Posted: 29 January 2011 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
wht is this Yumna .Shocked how could u do this....oh man this is sooo heart wrenching yaar..never expected this but it is a harsh reality ....but beautifully written dear.....really felt  their pain of losing their unborn child......ur truly r a talented writer..applaud for that girl  ClapClap....

loved the emotional trauma that they are going through ....i loved how u explained pain n anguish from both perspective ClapClap

waiting for next part.. continue soon ...n thanks for the pm dear



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aditee IF-Rockerz

Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 7594

Posted: 29 January 2011 at 8:33pm | IP Logged
TOO painful it was to read........... for me.
I cannot imagine even in fiction, how some one can go through this.
You have written beautifully
I had no idea what was coming.......... I thot it was one o those cute nok jhok moments (I did not read the prelude)
I had to go back and read the sheets soaked thing, it didnt register at first...........
Very painful and real
Well written
For being so awfully young and guessing not a parent or never having experienced such athing yourself, your expressions and narratives are quite vivid
The "emptiness in the womb" struck me!
At a few weeks except for the emotional "fullness" there isnt any physical change.
But ur line said it all
Very nice!
Please go on.....

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-SYS- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 06 December 2010
Posts: 3154

Posted: 30 January 2011 at 2:28am | IP Logged
Thank you! The two things you mentioned were a big part of why my story went this way-the quite high incidence of miscarriages that actually take place and the strength that such events give your relationship-if you survive them together.

Thank you for being honest about what you felt. I myself felt sadistic doing this. I hope you understood my reasons from my PM. I hope the next part makes up for it somewhat.

Thank you so much. As everyone has guessed the last part is the coping and I hope it meets your expectations!

I thought most people would be surprised by the turn this SS took-which is a good thing for a writer, and hopefully the reader. I hope the next part justifies my cruelty a bit!

@Vaishu(rbofan1-hope I got the name right)
Thank you! Next part might be a bit late.I'm quite busy at the moment and want to write the conclusion in peace so that it justifies the story.

Thank you so much!!!
P.S: Cute DP! Where did you get it from?!

@sweetsute(sorry don't know your name!)
Thank you! Sorry for the tears...NOT!=)

Is the enthusiasm a result of guilt at not commenting earlier?=p
Thank you for your comment! I'm glad you think I got the balance right. Most necessary because it's Shanak's story and not Khanak's or Shaan's.

Thank you! And please don't be depressed.It only happened in my imagination! Hopefully the next part will make you happy againHug

Thanks man. I know-emotional and mental turmoil has always fascinated me. Actually at the moment I myself am clueless about how Shanak will deal with it=s

Wow.Thanks much! Waise bhi you need to say you like it whether you actually do or not-we be professional sisters after all!=D

Coming from you that is VERY high praise indeed! Thank you so much.I'm glad you think I managed to pull it off.

Thanks dear. I am pretty hopeful that the healing takes place in the next part.It has to, otherwise I will hate myself!

Thanks love! Glad you liked the writing if not the turn the story took=D

Thank you ma'am!=D
Glad everyone's reactions made sense to you.And the K family had to be included.Things like these affect not only the parents but the people who love them.
Don't worry-won't leave you crying much as I would like to=p

Thank you and sorry!
I hope the next part is a balm for the wounds this inflicted.

Thank you! I wonder if liking the fact that it was a painful read makes me sadistic. 
Ek jadoo ki jhappi for you--->Hug

@Everyone who pressed the like button and all my silent readers
A BIG thank you to you too!

Edited by -SYS- - 30 January 2011 at 2:29am

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rafia 24

angel_9 Goldie

Joined: 12 November 2010
Posts: 1476

Posted: 30 January 2011 at 5:17am | IP Logged
Hey Yumna.............
sorry 4 late reply.............
loved the update............ClapClapClap
though it is very emotional..........
u expressed all the grief very well..........
i want to know more about it n how story will go ahead......
n thanks 4 PM.............

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