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Chaand Chupa Badal Mein
Chaand Chupa Badal Mein

Viren was a "quiet" child

Omshanti1111 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
A child who talks a lot, his needs can be very easily understood by all. But a child who talks less, only few can understand what he goes through.
 
Vandana saying "Viren was a quiet child" has special meaning I guess. Thats the reason, that one decision of DS completely changed his course. Had he been a talkative one, he would have forgotten all the incidents, like how children Sid and Nivi have forgotten. He would have vented that pain out. But he kept it alive inside him, as he could not vent it out, being quiet by nature.
 
 
when a near relative dies, if a person does not cry loud, then there is a chance of the person to damage his mental stability a lot, as he cannot face the reality. Its always good to speak out what is in the mind, than to stay quiet. That pain becomes too much at one time to bear and erupts as a volcano later.

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peacefulblossom Senior Member
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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
Agreed.

Being a quiet child myself, I can see how these things can be taken to heart very easily. 

By not shouting out your feelings and keeping them inside can cause so much problems to yourself. You end up holding stuff inside, building it up slowly slowly...and if your not careful it can take over you before you know it. I could never understand how people can scream and shout out their sadness and anger when I was younger.

I mean I can remember stuff that happened when I was really young and when this person does something else that I dont like... I tend to have a flash of all the bad memories and that can turn into hate easily if you dont control it.

And I think in this case Viren's been taken over. There is a short distance between love and hate....And I dont think you can hate someone so much unless you care enough to hate.

Viren was unlucky that he was taken away from his loved ones, which obviously affected him...he needs to go out there and shout out loud about his frustration and loneness. So the burden is taken away from him before he can move on.  


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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 5:49pm | IP Logged
completely sympathesise with him. Just watched yesteday's and some parts of today's episode. It was so painful to see the little child? he was so small. One thing I did not understand, did he not come back for vacation here or his parents did not bring him! (I find him too small to decide something of that sort).

another thing, I also did not find very satisfactory. DS wanted Viren's good and yesterday also, DS while talking during dinner time, was not differentiating between the two grandsons. But, why DS could not understand the gravity of the situation, when Viren did not come for vacation?

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peacefulblossom Senior Member
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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
Yeah I was heartbroken for the little child. He really didn't want to go. Especially since he was a quiet child, I'm guessing he had a very hard time adjusting to the new environment. Always quiet and in his room... probably didn't know how to talk to people and become friends. And to send a child like this to boarding school, would have a large impact to the child.

Yeah one part of me wants to believe that his parents are at fault for not taking him home for vacations. Because they took him away for vacation somewhere else but never took him back home. Thats really really strange. Maybe they brain washed him to think that his Granddad favours Sid more then himself.

But there was pain clearly in Viren's mum face when they were taking Viren to boarding school. So maybe she didn't want him to go, or maybe just normal motherly pain of her son going away. And later took the opportunity to bad mouth Sid to Viren... to take away his childhood love  and devotion to be like Sid away and make him a true competitor to Sid.   

But another thing... Viren really didn't want to go. And for one vacation time to come...can be enough to change someone. He might have been very young. But even at a young age you can be heartbroken. I can see him in boarding school, sitting there waiting for his family to come back and take him away. Waiting for his hero like brother (Sid) to find him again. Not being able to make friends for the shyness and not having the ability to express his feelings to others. And as each day passed...he kept losing hope and anger and hate took place where the loneliness was. And by the time vacation came... he no longer felt he needed the family that rejected him. And the family did not love him.


I am shocked too that DS didnt pay attention that Viren never came home....strange indeed. Need to find out why that was the case. I can see why DS would take a quiet child to boarding school to develop him but obviously it was the wrong move for Viren




Edited by peacefulblossom - 25 January 2011 at 6:50pm

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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 8:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by peacefulblossom

Yeah I was heartbroken for the little child. He really didn't want to go. Especially since he was a quiet child, I'm guessing he had a very hard time adjusting to the new environment. Always quiet and in his room... probably didn't know how to talk to people and become friends. And to send a child like this to boarding school, would have a large impact to the child.

Yeah one part of me wants to believe that his parents are at fault for not taking him home for vacations. Because they took him away for vacation somewhere else but never took him back home. Thats really really strange. Maybe they brain washed him to think that his Granddad favours Sid more then himself.

But there was pain clearly in Viren's mum face when they were taking Viren to boarding school. So maybe she didn't want him to go, or maybe just normal motherly pain of her son going away. And later took the opportunity to bad mouth Sid to Viren... to take away his childhood love  and devotion to be like Sid away and make him a true competitor to Sid.   

But another thing... Viren really didn't want to go. And for one vacation time to come...can be enough to change someone. He might have been very young. But even at a young age you can be heartbroken. I can see him in boarding school, sitting there waiting for his family to come back and take him away. Waiting for his hero like brother (Sid) to find him again. Not being able to make friends for the shyness and not having the ability to express his feelings to others. And as each day passed...he kept losing hope and anger and hate took place where the loneliness was. And by the time vacation came... he no longer felt he needed the family that rejected him. And the family did not love him.


I am shocked too that DS didnt pay attention that Viren never came home....strange indeed. Need to find out why that was the case. I can see why DS would take a quiet child to boarding school to develop him but obviously it was the wrong move for Viren




good one..

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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
I can relate to Viren because I changed from a silent child to a chatter box myself. I would give full credit to my Boarding School life for making me a strong individual. It made me independent and fearless. But I use to cry silently at nights or whenever I was alone not only when I was a small kid but also when I was a teenager because the hurt of being send away and treated differently was too much. For me all I could think  the reason why I was treated that way was because i was a girl child, so i went ahead and tried to develop qualities of a tough male. In school and most of my college I was like a tomboy (it changed later). I vented out my pain with my bratty behavior, writing poems and stories, singing etc. I remember me singing ' I am nobody's child...I am nobody's child... Nobody want's me' at a College Function and I had tears flowing automatically that when the song ended I sobbed. Even now I just can recall any hurt of childhood and cry in seconds (I would have made a good actress and would never had needed glycerin,lol). Also from my childhood I developed this habit of talking to flowers, plants, trees and birds... or even pictures. My love for Nature is also the gift of my Boarding School life.

While I developed a lot of positive qualities, something that probably would never change is the 'lack of attachment' I have towards my Parents. I guess I also would always be the 'Rebel'.


Edited by Anamika1570 - 26 January 2011 at 9:14am

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shasha74 Senior Member
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Posted: 26 January 2011 at 8:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by peacefulblossom

Yeah I was heartbroken for the little child. He really didn't want to go. Especially since he was a quiet child, I'm guessing he had a very hard time adjusting to the new environment. Always quiet and in his room... probably didn't know how to talk to people and become friends. And to send a child like this to boarding school, would have a large impact to the child.

Yeah one part of me wants to believe that his parents are at fault for not taking him home for vacations. Because they took him away for vacation somewhere else but never took him back home. Thats really really strange. Maybe they brain washed him to think that his Granddad favours Sid more then himself.

But there was pain clearly in Viren's mum face when they were taking Viren to boarding school. So maybe she didn't want him to go, or maybe just normal motherly pain of her son going away. And later took the opportunity to bad mouth Sid to Viren... to take away his childhood love  and devotion to be like Sid away and make him a true competitor to Sid.   

But another thing... Viren really didn't want to go. And for one vacation time to come...can be enough to change someone. He might have been very young. But even at a young age you can be heartbroken. I can see him in boarding school, sitting there waiting for his family to come back and take him away. Waiting for his hero like brother (Sid) to find him again. Not being able to make friends for the shyness and not having the ability to express his feelings to others. And as each day passed...he kept losing hope and anger and hate took place where the loneliness was. And by the time vacation came... he no longer felt he needed the family that rejected him. And the family did not love him.


I am shocked too that DS didnt pay attention that Viren never came home....strange indeed. Need to find out why that was the case. I can see why DS would take a quiet child to boarding school to develop him but obviously it was the wrong move for Viren




 A perfect picture of Boarding School life if you are a 'quiet child' who is usually someone who is also  sensitive and if you have no siblings or friends there already.

Mt Brother went to Boarding School at 10 and though he is very self-assure and independent he also had a a lot of resentment to being sent away especially as none of the rest of us were.

Much later on my Mother found letters he wrote starting with Dear World and they were full of loneliness and why he was so unlovable- our Mother cried for days even though my Brother had returned home and letters were years old.

She said at the time her heart broke in sending him away and that she looked forward to having him back on the weekend and she always was in tears when she dropped him back, but as my Father had made the decision she thought he knew best and agreed to it. Chanchal face; her pain and tears reminded me vividly of my Mothers face every time she came back from the hostel.

If you are quiet child and spend more time alone with books rather then in the company of other children then Boarding is even more traumatic for all of a sudden you have no way to hide and children can be very cruel especially the ones that have their own group against the lone child that fits in no where.

I have guy friend who went to Boarding School and because they weren't into sport or highly studious he was picked on brutally and i know that in his twenties he had to go for counseling due to the his pent up anger and hurt to his feelings of abandonment by his Family but also to what the other boys did to him.

I doubt the Viren we see today would be the same Viren as the one who had stayed at home with the Family; he has learned to camouflage his real emotions for that how he had to survive and has taken a persona that he had to again for survival-as we saw in his entry Viren can fight and I think his nature will always to fight for those cannot for he knows what's it like to have no one in your corner.

As for not coming back it could simply be that JAAL preferred to have Viren to themselves and saw travelling as a way to broaden Viren horizons. Also after a time if no effort is made then the child does turn their back on the ones they love 'if they can't be bothered with me then I can't be bothered with them' attitude which shelters a broken heart.    

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Posted: 26 January 2011 at 8:49am | IP Logged
My opinion:
 
I feel no parents want their child's bad, but they are not right in their decisions. Most of the time, their decisions succeed, but there are few times, when their decison backfires. Instead of doing good, it creates an opposite effect. Many of the times children cannot make out why parents did this, just like parents fail to read the child.
 
I think, even a bad decision or a strict decision, if implemented in a proper way, can solve many issues. Like communication. DS wanted Viren's good and thats the reason he decided. His intention was not to harm Viren, but he failed to implement that properly. Instead of sending a sobbing child in a forceful way to a borading school, he or the family could have prepared Viren for a life in a boarding school and tried to explain the good sides of it.
 
Till today, we feel boarding schools are like jails. Like in my childhood, I had an impression, if we do something wrong, we are sent to boarding schools. Thats a fear! the same psychology played with Viren. DS did not want to do harm, he felt many a times a little discipline and little strictness shapes the future of a child. But in Viren's case, unfortunately, that did not happen, as he is a supersensitive child. He was a quiet one, and did not know how to express his emotions. The child suffered and now is walking a completely wrong way to meet his ends!
 
I feel, DS did not want to see Viren inferior to Sid in any way, thats the reason probably he sent him to a boarding school, so that he comes out as a gem in the best atmosphere. The other day in the dining area, when he said "Viren will teach Sid adventures and Sid will guide Viren in business", I felt that he is sort of thinking, one brother compliments the other and they both together can lead a good and complete life. If Sid can imbibe some of Viren's vivacious nature and Viren can get a bit of Sid's composure, then its a perfect picture. I still do not believe that DS had bad intentions, but I do belive that his way of implementing his decision, should have been better.


Edited by Omshanti1111 - 26 January 2011 at 8:51am

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