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OS: Hello! (Page 2)

prettywoman Goldie
prettywoman
prettywoman

Joined: 01 March 2005
Posts: 2477

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
Shilpi.. i am sat numb in my chair.. I have always been a great admirer of your writing as everything you write touches my heart.. this is exceptional.. the best ever Shilpi you have written about D-N.. from his inner most fears about nakku being a possible target to his frustration to his helplessness to ehr pain, anguish and her eagerness for him to come home.. everything is just perfect.. the phone convo was brilliant.. the whole of today i was trying to think how it will be.. but your imagination has really touched me.. to the extent that i dont know whether what they show on the show will live up to this.. yes, i am sticking my neck out here and saying this.. esp for that last bit.. tu mere kamre mein thi na.. OMG, how many times, gosh how many times i had wondered how will he call her back.. after all he is DSP and she is his soulmate, but how will he do this task of bringing her back into his room as naturally as possible.. she will not like it if he apologised and will not even let him apologise.. But the way you made D ask just that one question was just incredible.. and him aking her to wait there for him was just .. sorry, i am running out of superlatives here..
 
me in tears after reading this OS.. it will be in my fav list.. baar baar padna padega.. And of course Oh gosh, he gets back that duppatta piece and bappa's locket and he is trying to feel her thru that.. CryCry pata hain you gave me back my old nakku that i fell in love with.. the way she asks Saab? then calling him saab understanding even his silence.. and he though would not admit how much he wanted to heear her voice and was wanting her to pick up the phone, could not just withstand the effct of that one word saab from her lipsEmbarrassed.. truly made for each other.. silence speaks volumes between these two.. they are so attuned to each otehr that sirf saason se pehchaan paathey hain ki how the otehr one is.. and Dutta feeling so helpless and upset hearing her broken voice and knows she cant take more and giving her the strength to fight a bit more..aawwwClapClap 
though realistically on the show i am dreading that kala will not be exposed now that chaskar himelf has admitted to kiling D and not naming anyone else! and i am really scared for D if the phone convo with naku and him was to be known in the house.. unless D knows there is a traitor there, what other reason is there for him to ask her not to tell his family.. other than maybe, he feels somehow if the family knows there is a chance the news might leak.. khushi se hi sahi, family might let slip he is alive?!
  
But I thourughly enjoyed this OS.. there is another OS by another one of our members who  also writes from her soul and her OS on FR is still in my memory and this will also take a place there now!


Edited by prettywoman - 25 January 2011 at 4:02pm

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Crystal29meriyaarWanderbugPooja_219mIsHeZ.x

MelodiousDreams IF-Rockerz
MelodiousDreams
MelodiousDreams

Joined: 24 December 2007
Posts: 7802

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 3:53pm | IP Logged
That was absolutely beautiful!
 
The phone conversation made me so emotional...The entire OS is so well-written that I could hear Dutta's and Naku's voices as I read...
 
Naku's anguished reaction to the newspaper (I was heartbroken, but I loved how she tore up the paper) reminded me of the scene where she was asking Baaji about Dutta - the panicked, desperate, strangled tone of her voice came to mind instantly...
 
So many of the little things Dutta said and did during the first part of the OS were very touching: how he touched the thread around his wrist (I'm loving how it connects him to Naku); his reaction to the necklace and the dupatta (that was so touching!)...And of course the part where he thinks to himself that he had been distracted by a pair of hazel, doe-like eyes...Awww!
 
The entire phone conversation, like I said before, was absolutely beautiful. I especially loved two parts:
1) the reactions of both Dutta and Naku when she answers the phone - it's so amazing that these characters (and the actors, of course!) have made it possible to attach so much significance to silence...Naku just knew, instinctively, that it was her saab listening to her voice...Aaaah, I loved it!
 
2) how Dutta asks Naku if she had been in his room, smiles to himself, and then tries to picture her in his mind's eye...And then he tells her to wait for him there. So, so sweet!
I also loved all the little "Naku?" "Ji, saab?' bits because the way that Mishal-Mahi spoke those words was just too endearing. *sigh*
 
The last paragraph blew me away, especially the connection between Satyawaan-Savitri and Dutta-Nakusha. I never fail to be amazed by how brilliant LTL is, for incorporating things like this in such meaningful ways. You've done a wonderful job capturing everything in words, as always!
 
And now I'm even more excited to see what the rest of the week brings!

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dramagoprettywomanCrystal29WanderbugPooja_219mIsHeZ.x

Sophia21 IF-Rockerz
Sophia21
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Joined: 30 September 2008
Posts: 7999

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 4:08pm | IP Logged
Woah... Amazing OS... the phone convo got me all emotional especially when he tells her to wait for him in their room...!!
Damn shilpi.. u planning to kill me with ur beautiful OS'?
n LOL.. Dutta pounced on chacha here as well.. bechara chacha.

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Crystal29WanderbugmIsHeZ.x

ushankitvc IF-Rockerz
ushankitvc
ushankitvc

Joined: 14 October 2010
Posts: 6065

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
so touching OS, shilpi......... really made me very emotional...........how much he cared fr her.............the telephone convo really bought tears into my eyes.........especially in the end .........
Dutta couldn't bear her to be scared like this- Nakku? Nakku- jee,saab?

Dutta- tu mere kamare mein thi?

 Nakku stopped remembering the day she had left this room promising to return at his call. But she couldn't stay away from this room in his absence from her life as this room had his essence that calmed her, brought him closer.

Nakku-j..jee,Saab?

Dutta smiled leaning his head against the wall closing his eyes trying to see her him his room. It gave him peace and an eagerness to get back to her. He needed this fire now, he fed on it, revealed in it. Dutta- wahi mera intezaar karna. Main aunga,bahut jald. Tere paas.

OMG!!!!!!!!!! my heart is simply going out fr them...........
 
Gr88888888 OS.........too touching and emotional.........
Thanx fr PM


Edited by ushankitvc - 25 January 2011 at 7:09pm

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Wanderbug

KavitaDR Senior Member
KavitaDR
KavitaDR

Joined: 18 September 2010
Posts: 673

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 7:25pm | IP Logged
Hey Shilpi,
 
Take a bow.ClapClapClap
 
Mindblowing and coming right from the soul for the happy souls on the Forum. You have captured the essence of what we all want to see happening and that would redeem to a certain extent the CVs for all the crap/bloopers that they fed us during the last two/three weeks. Even they would be embarassed if they do not manage to appropriate the story/concept you have narrated so brillantly.
 
Next OS PLEASEEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedAnd as long as this one.
 
Luv,
 
Kavita
 
 
 
 


Edited by KavitaDR - 25 January 2011 at 7:25pm

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Wanderbug-bharti-

suhana19 IF-Rockerz
suhana19
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Joined: 13 July 2005
Posts: 5353

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 7:58pm | IP Logged
Hey Shilpi Omg what Emotional OS yaarCry.....I loved it ....Iam Lost for the words here ...Clap....U write so beautifully ....it touches ones heart yaar .....Wow the Phone conversation was superbly written yaarThumbs Up
It was romantic the last line was killer yaar when  he says her to wait for in there roomBig smile ......
U are planning to kill us with this mind-blowing writingThumbs Up.....
Thanx amillion yaar .....Will wait fo the nxt one ...u take care and see ya around.....Thumbs UpClap,,,,
Love and Hugs suhanaHug

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Wanderbug

desigrl414 Goldie
desigrl414
desigrl414

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 1260

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
absolutely loved it! this is actually how i envision their phone conversation as well!

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Wanderbug

Prinsesse.Suvi IF-Sizzlerz
Prinsesse.Suvi
Prinsesse.Suvi

Joined: 10 December 2009
Posts: 13931

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
Wow!! Shilpi....it was fabulous!!! And the phone call bit..so emotional..so sadCry
Thanks for the PM

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Wanderbug

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