so, on Milee's comment about Viren - couple of points comes to mind. and I always write in bullet points because of Engineering profession. nothing is essay but always listed points so forgive me if neone does not like it.
1. All these dialogs are coming from his Past experiences and Insecurities.
Past Experiences:
2. He is not saying all these dialogs so Nivi will remember ...He is saying it for Himself. Because when she says Yes - she will remember... it is a Reassurance to Him.
3. In his childhood - he told many people he loves them. BS, Sid, CC and today all have forgotten. So, He wants Assurance from Nivi. He wants Nivi to make him believe that yes, she will never forget he loves her. Nivi will not be like others who will stop caring for him.
4. He knows what is in Nivi's heart but still he wants her to hear from him. Just like CC and BS and all Love Viren (maybe) but never Spoke About It. Never PROCLAIMED it. and there is a big difference in that. Anyone can love and think. But can you Communicate?? He is basically Reiterating to Nivi so she will not forget because Viren has forgotten who all love him since no one says it to him.
Inferiority and Insecurities from past -
5. This is very Important and most crucial part of Viren's character. Whatever relationships and family ties and all he believed in.. all let him down. No one considers him important and Viren is not ruling anyones heart. This brings insecurities n inferiority complex. Since childhood these feelings are with him.
6. So, what do ppl do. They need Validation, Security, Affirmation. One, thing they also tend to do speak their mind Out Loud. Why Do we go to Pyschraist or Couple's Therapy and they make us talk. Because hearing your own words come out of your mouth makes a difference. It makes us hear what our heart and mind has been thinking. It makes our Partner aware of our thoughts and needs and wants and confusions etc.
7. If there is any doubt in Viren's mind ..then him Speaking Out loud is helping him. It is helping Nivi. They are not assumming that each of them love each other. They are ProClaiming. That's why we do prayers. We go to temple or wherever and say out loud our prayers and beliefs in form of bhagans erc. We Proclaim our Beliefs in God and Our requests to Him.
And Viren Says To Nivi.."You will Remember???" and expects an answers..even in form of eye contact Shows..his need for Validation and Affirmation. Consolation and Security.
and Milee to end my point with an answer to your point and summary of of my post
When we love someone or care for someone what will we do. Either we tell the other person I love you or I like you or I care for you and so on so forth right, we let them know how we feel about them and that is all right?
Yes, We ...who are secured and Sure and Confident that others will believe us. Other Person feels the same way as us. We don't need their reply and "Yes" answer and Affirmation because we know the answer and we have never been let down by their words and actions. But that is not the case in Viren. He is Insecure, has been let down several times, In need for Validation, feels Inferior, Wants to be loved n feel secured n wanted etc..all of it.
This is my POV. and believe me I could be wrong in reading him. I am just writing from my experiences with my husband and life in general. Open to your Comments.
Edited by simran728 - 13 years ago
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