Rang Badalti Odhani

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Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

OS- Angry Shan, Innocent khanak

sweetsute Goldie
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Joined: 01 September 2010
Posts: 2449

Posted: 24 January 2011 at 1:39am | IP Logged

hi, everyone,
so going through d current track in rbo, mere dimag mein ek aur scene ka idea prakat hua hai;..............so here i go..................

Shan , driving happily to home, thinking abt all d beautiful moments spend wid Khanak, suddenly gets an mms-Khanak is wid Sunny- Shan drops d phone at one instant, and stops d car.He thinks, yeh sunny nahi suraj hai, and yeh pehle ki tasveer hai, but sees it again, no its sunny, Khanak sunny ke sath kya kar rahi hai. Kahin yeh sach mein Sunny ke roop mein Suraj to nahi, aur Khanak mujhe chod ke uske paas wapas to nahi chali gayi. Nahi, nahi yeh sab main kya soch raha hoon, Mujhe ghar jaana chahiye. So, he drives home,a nd enters home, calling for Khanak. He searches for her , everywhere,in d kitchen, dadi's room, store room, in his own room, but she is not dere-he finally gives up, and a frustated shan, starts throwing stuff here and dere, and shouts the name of Khanak at d top of his voice..
Here, Khanak gets startled ,as if Shan's voice reached her, looks here and dere-suddenly sees Sunny, steps back. Sunny comes to tell her, he has managed a cab, and takes her to d studio-but Shan is not dere. So, Sunny drops her home.
At the house,
Khanak, still crying walks slowly to her room, thinking abt Shan, suddenly sees him sitting on d floor, head down-she runs to him and hugs him tightly. Initialy, Shan also reponds to her hug, and slowly , she unbuttons his shirt and kisses her bare chest.But suddenly Shan pushes her hard and gets up. khanak is confused at his behaviour, but stil, gets up and hugs him from back .Shan , angrily takes off her hands and pushes her, .
Khanak- "Shanatanu, kya ho gaya hai aapko, aap mere sath aise vyavhar kyun kar rahe hain?"
Shan(looks at her angrily)-" Maine kya kiya hai, Khanak, jo bhi karna tha vo to tumne kiya hai"
khanak- "Kya! maine kya kiya hai. Aap kya bol rahe hain, meri kuch samajh nahi aaraha hai"
Shan -"acha , yeh dekh to tum sab samajh jaogi na"-shows her d mms
Khanak(shocked)-" yeh sab kya hai, Shantanu?"
Shan- "wahi to tumse pooch raha hoon, Khanak. "
khanak- "Ek minute, aap, aap kya samajh rahe hai"-looks at his face, pauses , den says, in  a low tone-"Shantanu, main aapse baat karne ke liye subah se betaab ho rahi hoon, yeh soch kar ki aap bhi Sunny ko lekar pareshan honge aur aur mujhe aapse bahut sare batein karni thi, par yahan to aap Suraj ke hamshakal ke sath mujhpe shak kar rahe ho... "
Shan- "acha , to kaho ki main galat hoon, meri ek jawab do Khanak- main janta hoon Suraj ki maut se tumhari Zindagi mein hulchul mach gayi, par aab to tum mujh se pyar karti ho na , phir tumhe Suraj ki hamshakal se itni kyun pareshan ho, ya phir main yeh samjhu ki tum aab bhi Suraj ko nahi bhula payi ho"
khanak, shocked to hear such harsh words from Shan, just leaves his hands(she was clutching his shirt and holding his hands , till den).She moves back, Shan leaves from dere
Shan is now, in d living room, suddenly gets a call from Sam
Sam-"Hello Shan'
Shan-(in almost a low crying voice)'"Hello"
Sam(unable to hear anything)-"Hello, hello, Shan tum mujhe sun rahe ho?"
Shan(clears his voice)--"haan , bolo Sam"
Sam-" haan, woh Khanak tumse mili kya?"
Shan-"matlab?"
Sam-"haan , yaar woh barish mein bhik kar , tumse milne ayi thi caafe mein, par maine hi use Sunny ke sath Studio mein bejh diya. I know , mujhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha, par main kya karti, woh jid kar rahi thi , tumse milne keliye ,bechari pata nahi kyun bahut ghabrayi hui thi. "
Shan(startled to hear, drops d phone)
Sam-"Hello, hello Shan, can u hear me?"Thinks-kahin yeh phir se naraz to nahi ho gaya and cuts d  call.

Shan, picks up d phone, and again checks d mms, looks at it clearly, it shows nothing, only Khanak is wid Sunny,and both are distance apart-he would clearly see Khanak was higly upset and crying. Shan thinks to himself- yeh ladki mujhe paaglo ki tarah pyar karti hai. Meri wajah se iske zindagi mein kya kuch nahi hua..phir bhi meri jaan bachane ke liye, usne mujhse shadi, ki, meri zindagi badal di, mujhe woh pyar diya jo mujhe aaj tak kisine nahi diya, mera sath tab diya, jab mujhe uski sath ki jarorat thi.Aur, maine kya kiya, jab use meri jarorat padi, to uska sath dene ke bajaye, uspe shak kar raha hoon. Main, itna selfish kaise ban sakta hoon, nahi i have to go to her. Duniya wale chahe kuch bhi, kahe, mujhe apni Khanak pe poora vishwas hai, agar Bhagwan bhi aake kahe, to bhi main khanak se pyar karna nahi chodunga.. I love u khanak.
Shan , den goes to his room, finds Khanak, sitting on d floor,-puts his hands on her shoulders.Khanak , looks up, a faint smile comes on her face, but it disappears and she gets up , moves away from dere, and sits on d bed-Shan comes near her-"Khanak, dekho, tum bheeg chuki ho, kapde badal lo,"tries to touch her, Khanak jerks him and moves to d wash room. Shan is perturbed at her behaviour, pushes d washroom door,and enters d washroom
Shan-" dekho Khanak, meri baat suno, main janta i hurt u, bahut dukhaya hai, i m ,im sorry yaar"
khanak-"kitna aasan hai na Shantanu, angrzi mein ek shabd kehna. Aap hamesha mujhe jo man chahe kehte ho, phir baad mein aake sorry bol deto ho,a ur main aapko maaf kar deti hoon.Par is baar, jo baat apne kahin, usse meri atma ko chot pahunchi hai". in a very low voice-"Shantanu, poori duniya mujhpe ungli uthaye to bhi mujhe koi pharak nahi padta, par aap.Meri kya galti hai, agar Sunny Suraj ka hamshakal, hai, woh Suraj , jisske sath maine zindagi mein bahut sare sapne dekhe.Par woh sab kanch ke tarah toot ke bikhar gayi, socha phir kabhi woh shishe nahi joodenge-par kismat  mujhe aap ke kareeb lekar ayi aur main aapse pyar karne lagi, aur aaj itna karti hoon, ki agar khud Suraj bhi wapas ajaye , to bhi main aapka sath nahi chodungi. Par main yeh sab kisse keh rahi hoon, Jisse samajhna chahiye, woh to mujhe samajhta hi nahi-,pauses for a minute, den says again-" aap ko pata hai Shantanu, maine kabhi kaha nahin, par aaj kehti hoon, Suraj ke jane ke baad , us waqt mujhe lagta tha kash main bhi mar jaati. Lekin, aapke sath ne mujhe zindagi ke nayi matlab sikhaya. par, yeh sab dekhne ke baad, aisa lagta hai, ki kash main us waqt hi mar jati aur aaj aap Natasha ji ke sath shadi karte, kumse kum khush to rehte
Shan , shocked to hear such words, pushes her to d walls,and pins her to d wall,
Shan-" yeh tum kya bakwas kar rahi ho, Khanak?.Tum janti ho, na main tumhe pagalo ki tarah chahta hoon,tumhare alawa kisi aur ke bare bhi soch bhi nahi sakta. Main, isliye gussa hua, kyunki ,main yeh sochta hoon ki tumhare tan man pe sirf mera haq hai, tumhe choone ka haq sirf ,mujhe diya hai bhagwan ne. Agar tumpe koi ungli bhi lagata hai, to mera khoon khaul uthta hai, Main kya karu, khood se bhi jyada chahta hoon tumhe. Aur, haan aaj ke baad Suraj ya Sunny ka kabhi naam mat lena, nahi to-"
Khanak looks at him as if asking nahi to kya
Shan looks at her from top to bottom,moves back, takes off his shirt, moves towards Khanak, and kisses her passionately, first on her lips, den on her neck-Initially Khanak, closes her eyes, but later pushes him,a nd comes out of washroom and is now standing in d room.Shan comes from behind and starts untying her dori and kisses her on d back.Initially, Khanak is irritated , but she gives up and turns back and hugs him tightly.Phir, both get started and fall on d bed ,and phir kya shuru ho jata hai, dono ka dingdong..............
At d end of Ras leela
Khanak(in Shan 's arms)-"Shantanu, agar Suraj ke naam lene pe aap mujhe aisi saza doge, to main hamesha uska naam loongi"
Shan looks at her, she was smiling after a long time, kisses her on d forehead-" Tumhare , is smile ke liye kuch bhi meri jaan, I love u..........

In d morning
Khanak, Shan Sam and Duck are in the cafe, wen suddenly Sunny comes dere. Initially Shan is angry, but looks at Khanak, she seemed to be relaxed,Her smile stopped him
Sunny, now narrates everything to them, how Rahul bribed him to act in front of Khanak.
Sam , shocked-"Rahul, itna nicha gir sakta hai"
Shan-" Is Rahul ko to main  nahi chodunga, i m going to  kill him"
Khanak- "Shantanu, aap aisa kuch nahi karenge, apne gusse ko kabu mein rakhna hoga aapko."
Sunny-"Main janta hoon, aaplog sab bahut upset hain, par hum hath pe hath liye nahi baith sakte.
Sam-"Haan Rahul ko sabak sikhana chahiye. Usne sirf mere sath hi nahi, Khanak ke sath bhi bura kiya, sirf Shan ko barbad karne keliye"
Duck-"Guys , kuch aisa karna chahiye, ki lathi bhi na tute and saap bhi marjaye"
Everyone look at Duck, and Sunny says-"wah yaar, tu to bada smart hai"
Now, all of dem plan to act in front of Rahul ,as if his plan is working and den on d day of concert, plan to give him d shock of his life------------

soooooooooooo, kaisa laga, tell tell
waiting 4 reviews


Edited by sweetsute - 24 January 2011 at 7:44am

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ridssyONAegoIluvYashranAnu80wel1111MissPunjabishanakrocks1punjabi_gyal08SHANAKFANangel_9adeelahujuromanticgurl070.Rupali.rafia 24-Ray-iluvmanartofeeeesdestinyloveNinjaInPyjamaspriya_cool_123adventure_gurl-Tulips-rooj-iAttractiveAdyaSPN_JD_Addictedkrockbones88

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 2:12am | IP Logged
ClapClapClap Omg !! I seriously didnt expect this from you. You are rocking girl. Your imagination and dialogues are too good. First u should change the title from my sweet idaes to OS on shanak or something else... This truly fits to be an OS.
 
Shan(looks at her angrily)-" Maine kya kiya hai, Khanak, jo bhi karna tha vo to tumne kiya hai"
khanak- "Kya! maine kya kiya hai. Aap kya bol rahe hain, meri kuch samajh nahi aaraha hai"
if shaan is ever gonna open and talk abt it to khanak.. yhis exactly what he will say....ClapClapClap
 
Shan- "acha , to kaho ki main galat hoon, meri ek jawab do Khanak- main janta hoon Suraj ki maut se tumhari Zindagi mein hulchul mach gayi, par aab to tum mujh se pyar karti ho na , phir tumhe Suraj ki hamshakal se itni kyun pareshan ho, ya phir main yeh samjhu ki tum aab bhi Suraj ko nahi bhula payi ho"
i wish shaan actually said these words cos thats what he should be feeling
 
 
kitna aasan hai na Shantanu, angrzi mein ek shabd kehna.
it truly is
 
-" aap ko pata hai Shantanu, maine kabhi kaha nahin, par aaj kehti hoon, Suraj ke jane ke baad , us waqt mujhe lagta tha kash main bhi mar jaati. Lekin, aapke sath ne mujhe zindagi ke nayi matlab sikhaya. par, yeh sab dekhne ke baad, aisa lagta hai, ki kash main us waqt hi mar jati aur aaj aap Natasha ji ke sath shadi karte, kumse kum khush to rehte
 
i felt like climbing on my chair on clap for this..ClapClapClapthis is the words of a lady who is hurt by the distrust of the person who she loved the most
 
Khanak(in Shan 's arms)-"Shantanu, agar Suraj ke naam lene pe aap mujhe aisi saza doge, to main hamesha uska naam loongi"
EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed
 
really loved it so much... hope to see more from you......
 
 

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romanticgurl070sweetsutekrock

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 2:13am | IP Logged
wow dear kya likha hain maan gaye ...............very impreesed kash aisa he ho yaar plz..............but i knw nahi oga phir isko dekhkar khush hoti hu

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sweetsute

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 2:23am | IP Logged
wow kya likha hai really nice ..............n very good dialogues i loved it.....................Big smile

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sweetsutekrock

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 2:58am | IP Logged
OMG!!!!I read three FF's this morning and that's a first for me and can I just say that I simply loved it.You brought out the situation so realistically.Shantanu doubting her is logical and Khanak's outburst is logical and realising his mistake and making up after that was just so good.Powerful dialogue that when Khanak said she should have died!!If he doesn't even for a second feels bad after seeing the MMS,then it would be highly unrealistic!

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sweetsuteromanticgurl070krock

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 3:05am | IP Logged
bohat accha likha....loved it....hoping atleast 50 % bhi hoga aisa to bohat kush honge....

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sweetsutedestinylove

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 4:20am | IP Logged
WOW shilpa
suraj ka naam lene ke liye aise saza milthi tho..(khanak) wow too romantic....and Shantanu is in full romancing mood..WOW loved the entire take very  good keep it up

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sweetsutekrock

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 4:23am | IP Logged
ClapClapexcellent,i'think u should rite rbo from now onwards.ClapClapur dingdong was too good,though it's not possible on tv,as well as for the actors.

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