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Dil Se Diya Vachan
Dil Se Diya Vachan

Rape Victim Blamed

Laila2009 IF-Rockerz
Laila2009
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Joined: 27 October 2009
Posts: 7552

Posted: 23 January 2011 at 3:56pm | IP Logged
The handling of rape on this show is very disappointing.  I understand that the show is trying to highlight the problems in Indian society regarding rape, but this is really beyond me.  I would like to see someone work with this character to counter some of the claims made by these people. 
 
First and foremost, it disappoints me that it is assumed that a person can prevent a rape from happening. Sure, there are things people can do to discourage a person from raping them, but even if these are used, there are times when there is nothing a person can do. Nandani was in shock when she was raped; the person whom she saw as her brother took advantage of her. It is often noted that in such situations of shock, a person is rendered helpless, disassociates with themselves mentally etc. Unfortunately, in the mind of people like Nandani's relatives, that's tragically beyond their capability.
 
Nandani's ONLY mistake was she should have told her husband. No-one in the family had the right to know - and that should be pointed out.  It is an issue between a husband and wife.  The fact that Kalyani knows is fine since she is a physician and became indirectly involved. I respect the fact she kept it to herself, but she didn't have to even suggest that Nandani tell the whole family.  Rape victims owe no explanations to ANYONE. I am also disgusted how a woman who is raped is seen as the one to blame.  I am appalled at Kalyani's husband and entire family. 

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rainabow Senior Member
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Posts: 907

Posted: 23 January 2011 at 4:21pm | IP Logged
There is not a single character who behaved as they should have.

Gautum is just a royal d**k. Up until today he was just a vapid no name stand-in for a father who had no role on this show except to fill an extra pair of pants. Now he is kicking up a fuss and throwing his weight around. Why? They should have just kept him on the back burner. Not only did he treat Nandini like the dirt beneath his shoes, he disrespected his own wife.

Daadi and Urmila are just blots on womankind. They are beyond hope and it is fruitless to even discuss them.

Prem was a disappointment. Instead of thinking about HER trauma, HER pain, HER feelings--all he did was whine about himself, as though what she did to him was worse than what she had to go through. Over and over again like a broken record, he kept asking the same question: Why didn't you tell me? Well Prem, she DID tell you. You just didn't get a chance to hear it.

Then he watched as his wife, who was raped, had to leave the house and travel back home on foot at night in the dark. At least he owned up to it and apologized, but his initial response was just appallingly selfish. He needs to show some emotional intelligence.

Kalyani, bless her heart, is the only person with any sense in that house, but I still feel she could have struck back harder.

Unfortunately in an ultra traditional family like this, full of busybodies with idle hands, it is assumed that everything is everybody's business. Like you, I wish they had simply come out and said it's not. I also wish someone would come out and speak up on this matter that women have to be pure and virginal on their wedding night. If Prem had consensual sex before marriage, I wonder who would care? Probably no one. But Nandini is forced, and she is dubbed a harlot.

I'm keeping an open mind though. In many ways, it's quite a leap to even base a story on such a taboo. We'll see how it goes from here on out.

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tackerfan14 Groupbie
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Joined: 21 July 2010
Posts: 144

Posted: 23 January 2011 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
kalyani's husband is suh a momma's boy. i mean if you have a witch mother like gautom's or kalyani's saas they do not deserve to be respected. kalyani's husband without thinking just threw nandini out of the house when knowing it was not nandini's fault instead it was krushna for doing such a geeri hui harkat and gautom for not telling kalyani's familiy before marriage. 

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mehbeer09 IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 10 June 2010
Posts: 4083

Posted: 24 January 2011 at 12:04am | IP Logged
i knowww likee itss not right tht the rapee victim is being blamedd forrr ,, this showw is very goooddd butt likee they portairrt itt wrong

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mystifyre

Dabulls23 IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 31 October 2005
Posts: 28630

Posted: 24 January 2011 at 10:49am | IP Logged
Folks if you saw 1 and 1/2 hr episodes I think it was wonderful...How Dr. K and elder bro talked to Prem..How Kalyani supported Nandini and ready to leave the house to make a point..Nandini is the victim and not the culprit...
 
I loved the convo Kalyani had with Prem to help him understand...Yes Prem came across ad D**k as he found out but remember he is a human being and felt nandini could not trust him..She should have told him...
 
I really was glued to the TV yesterday watching 2 episodes 1 hr and 1/2 hr ones...
 
Rest of the Rajadhyaksha family was stupid..Especially dadi, urmi and dad...Grrrr

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SweetFifi

Laila2009 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 7552

Posted: 25 January 2011 at 8:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Dabulls23

Folks if you saw 1 and 1/2 hr episodes I think it was wonderful...How Dr. K and elder bro talked to Prem..How Kalyani supported Nandini and ready to leave the house to make a point..Nandini is the victim and not the culprit...
 
I loved the convo Kalyani had with Prem to help him understand...Yes Prem came across ad D**k as he found out but remember he is a human being and felt nandini could not trust him..She should have told him...
 
I really was glued to the TV yesterday watching 2 episodes 1 hr and 1/2 hr ones...
 
Rest of the Rajadhyaksha family was stupid..Especially dadi, urmi and dad...Grrrr
Sorry, that is some big D**K - I can't believe he'd have to have someone explain that to him.  He is not a child. I missed the second part, so I will need to wait till the weekend for the second part.

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mystifyre

Doodle IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 25 January 2011 at 9:17am | IP Logged
I know what Prem did in the initial was wrong but we also need to remember that when a big shocking  news is about to be revealed it is better that you hear it from the horse's mouth and not from others.

We need to analyse the situation Prem was in. He had experienced the most beautiful moment and was soooooo sooooooo happy while coming home. Then all of a sudden he hears Nandini's recorded voice in the tape. Just tell me who would not react the same way Prem did at least for a second. Its not that he watched Nandini go away its that he was not in a position to even think normally. 

Just imagine when we fall in love our friends say that we should tell our parents first because it won't be good that they hear from others. So, Prem's reaction was justifiable and on the other hand if he would have been reacted this way I would feel that he has plastic emotions. But he did behave as a normal being wold have done.

Yeah the other family members were absurd. I think they would realize only when Prapti's reputation will be at stake though being innocent. 


Edited by doodleberry - 25 January 2011 at 9:22am

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rainabow Senior Member
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Posts: 907

Posted: 27 January 2011 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
I don't buy any of the excuses made for Prem.

No, I do not agree that anyone would react like him. He is an adult and ought to start acting like one. He is impulsive and irrational. The way he behaved with that guy at the hotel was ridiculous. Of course Nandini doesn't want to tell him who raped her. She knows exactly how he will react. She had a daydream about it at Prapti's engagement. If she didn't tell him, she had good reasons. She doesn't want to be responsible for her husband being jailed for murder.

Not once during that entire exchange did he indicate any concern for Nandini. Not when he heard she was raped. Not when he heard she was in a coma. Not when he heard she gave birth to a stillborn. How could anyone argue that this is the way a normal adult would react? If I heard a loved one was raped, went into a coma, and gave birth to a stillborn child, not once would it occur to me to think about myself. My thoughts would be 100% with the victim. My instinct would be to tell them I was with them and give them a feeling of support and comfort. Eventually I might wonder why they didn't tell me, but I certainly would not be angry at them. It must be immensely painful and hard to have to tell something like this to anyone, especially in the conservative Indian society that Nandini lives in.

This is not something that should require explanation. I'm glad he realized his mistakes later on, but it shouldn't happen in the first place.


Edited by rainabow - 27 January 2011 at 8:45pm

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