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Laagi Tujhse Lagan
Laagi Tujhse Lagan

OS:I still love her with my heart..

Wanderbug IF-Dazzler
Wanderbug
Wanderbug

Joined: 21 September 2010
Posts: 3591

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
This is my first attempt at OS..Seema seems to be in her own bubble, where she wants forgivness,peace and also her lost love back...but her dreams are bound to be broken on shambles because even though she now realizes that Dutta's love was true and pure, Dutta has himself realized what true love is like. what it is like to be loved with all the scales and thorns you have around you like a rose. so here's take on how Dutta confesses his love for the right woman to the wrong one. Plz let me know how it was...would love to hear from all my critics..as criticism is stepping stone to perfection.


I still love her with my heart..

He sat up on the bed and looked ahead. The darkness was not new anymore, a constant companion and very familiar. He had hated being dependent for every small  thing on others . If this was to be his destiny then he'd fight it his way. He would not cower away from darkness. Not him, not Dutta Shriram Patil. He would learn to live this darkness like the  warrior he is. This sense of doom won't last long. It will fade as soon as she is with him,holding his hand, leading him to color and light. This shadows will reside from his life as soon as she comes and lights up his heart with her belief and faith in him. It her memories that kept him going through the pain. He recalled how he had said arrogantly that he would never see her face again. How he had told Aaisaheb that he would never forget her lie? How he had said the he can't love anymore? How he had told madhu that the woman in his heart and home were different? How stubbornly he refused to accept her?

"Aapki ye zidd kahan chalegi,bhaiyya?" Madhu's words played in his head. Yes,he had finally lost his stubbornness and  ego. Now the woman in his heart and his home, the woman  in his dreams and his soul were one and the same. He didn't need eyes to see her face, the love in her eyes for him. Her memories played like a kaleidoscope in his mind. They prevented him from going insane, from losing all hope and will. They made him want to go back to her. To hold her in his arms, to trace her face with his fingers. Feel the texture of her soft skin and the shape of her lips. He wanted to go back to his home.

He heard the door open and sound of tinkling bangles. "chanda?" he called turning to the sound.  "Ji, mandir gai thi! Prasad?" She touched his hand to place Prasad on it. Dutta shook his head removing his hand. "Maine Bappa se wada kiya hai main tab tak  Prasad nahi lunga jab tak wo mujhe nahi  deti." He remembered the way he had refused to take God's blessings on her behest, grossly insulting her, calling her unlucky. He felt a sharp pain in his heart.

Seema looked at the man sitting infront of her. He looked like a slumbering wounded lion. His eyes looked so sharp that it was impossible to believe that they couldn't see. She had been afraid earlier to talk to him, what if he recognized her and got incensed. But it seemed that even though her voice jogged his memories he couldn't really recognize her. She talked to him as little as possible. He only talked when he needed something. Most of the time he walked around the room like caged beast or stare in space lost. He ranted on about his attackers, recalling every enemy he had. Replaying the accident loudly while he frowned in concentration, trying to figure it all out. She wanted to tell him about Chaskar but was afraid that Dutta will try to fight Chaskar and in this condition he was vulnerable and would not win. She was waiting for him to get his sight back. Once he was complete again, once he had forgiven her, she would tell him everything.  She believed that she would see the same love in his eyes once again, she could see all the signs of the God.

Why else would she be here to take care of him when he needed someone? Why would his hand smear that blood on her forehead? It was symbolic. She had once before ignored the destiny and cheated him. They were here today because of that. But destiny wanted them to be together again. She began to walk around tidying the room.

Seema-Wo kaun hai?

Dutta smiled a self deprecating smile-Wo jisse main pyar karta hoon.

Her heart thumped in her chest-Kaun hai wo? Lagta hai aap uss se bahut chahte hain?

Dutta- kal tak sochta tha ki..Seema- Kya?Kya lagta tha? Dutta- lagta tha ki ab main uss se pyar nahi kar sakta. Ki uss se bahut nafrat karta hoon.Usske jhoot se, uske dhoke se nafrat karta hoon.

She looked at him shell-shocked. He remembered her. He was talking about her-Seema. The one he loved long back, the one who betrayed him. She felt elated yet couldn't believe her luck. Tears stung her eyes as she asked in wobbly voice,"Aur aaj? Aaj kya lagta hai?"

Dutta- aaj maut ko itne kareeb se dekhne ke baad lagta hai ki maine kabhi uske alwa kissi ko nahi chaha.

Seema- aapsachmuch ussko bahut chahte hai,bahut pyar karte hai.

Dutta- Hmm...uska pyar hi to mujhe is andhere mein ujala dikha raha hai. Uski hare k baat, har yaad, har ehsaas fir se sirf Dutta banker jeene ko kahta hai.

Seema- kaisi yaadein?  Seeing him turn away his head  and clamp up she realized she has asked too much. After all she was Chanda for him, a stranger. He didn't know that she was the one he loved, his Seema. Maaf kar dijiye. Main jayada bol gai. She started walking out of the room.

Dutta-rukko. Mat jao. Aaj kissi se baatein karne ka mann kar raha hai. agar ghar par hota to nikal jaata baaaji ke saath kahi. Nahi to aayi ki godh mein sir chippa leta. Aur agar wo hoti to'he laughed a little.par main yahan hoon. Is haal mein hoon. Aur tumhare alawa yahaan koi nahi hai jisse kah sakku.  She walked towards the bed- kahiye na main yahi hoon? Aap apne pyar ke bare mein baata rahe the.

Dutta- uski yaadon ke bare mein baata raha tha. Sab yaad aata hai. Wo paheli mulaqat. Uska dinbhar baatein karna.

Seema smiled as she remembered their first meeting. Dutta recalled the waifish young girl he had saved that fateful night that changed the course of his life. Those eyes had intrigued him then but he had not realized it till too late.

Dutta-Uska achanak se naraaz ho jaana. He could see her stern, resolute face as she refused to  get down at the cliff before the car went down. Her anger and disappointment in him when he didn't defend her character infront of Kala and others, her vow not to come to him till he called her. Her annoyance in the jungle when he refused to take her torn duppatta as a bandage. She had returned his coat and stood away from him shivering like a leaf. And when she had got her way in bandaging the wound, she had sweetly smiled at her triumph and wordlessly taken the coat. Her stubbornness of not coming to him on his drunk call for food.

Seema smiled as she recalled how she used to get annoyed when he couldn't recognize her touch on his eyes. He used to pretend calling out to all the other girls name just to annoy her.

Dutta-chotti baadi baton ke liye zidd karna. He  could see her standing her ground as he tried to intimidate her  as she challenged him to forgive his father. How she stopped him from drinking? Her insistence that he gave another chance to life and love. Her stubborn refusal to take sedatives before the doctors could operate.

Seema remembered their trip to the fair where she asked for all kind of stuff 'the bangles, the cotton candy, the swigs.

Dutta-uski tasveer phekne ke baad,jalane ke baad bhi wo mere jehan mein, mere dil mein hai. aankein band karo na karu bas uska hi chehra nazar aata hai. He could see the pictures that he had hated sand burned. His anger as he thought it was her trick. But he had forgotten that she was above  such games of trickery. Her  lie was her helplessness that he understood now. And why not? If she could forgive his every transgression, his every unjust blame and still love him so purely. Why couldn't he accept her one mistake? Doesn't love mean forgiving and accepting?

Seema could see her young self posing with a self-conscious young man before a local photographer. They had got so many of their pictures taken in that fair.

Dutta- aaj bhi   meri baahein usko mahsoos karti hai. mera dil uske haathon se niwala khane ko taraste hai. abhi  tak uski ungliyon ka swaad hai yaad hai mere hoothon ko. She had felt so right in his arms in anna's den. How complete he had felt with her in his embrace? He could taste her fingers on his lips again as he had that day when she had fed him the first niwala. He remembered telling her that only being fed by her filled him. So true, so true.

Seema recalled with tears in her eyes how he had put the chain around her neck. he would mischievously bite her fingers when she would feed him his lunch at his garage. He remembered it all. She knew he loved her still but her betrayal. Seema-  uss ne aapko dhokha diya phir bhi aap uss se pyar kartey hai?

Dutta- Uske dhokhe ka dard use kabhi na pane ke darr se chota hai. Agar aaj wo mujhe mil jaye to main sab kuch bhula ke use apni baahon mein bhar lunga. Us se itna pyaar karunga ki har karvi yaad pichche rah jaye. Main jaan gaya hoon ki uske bina mere jeevan mein kuch nahi hai. agar wo sath ho to ye andhera bhi manjoor hai. kyunki raahon mein mera haath thame ke liye wo har pal mere saath ,mere paas . Ek nayi shuruwat karna chahta hoon. Thak gaya hoon apne aap se bhagte bhagte, aapne dil ki awaaz ko dabate dabate. Bahut koshish kar li ki us se nafrat karu. Par har baar har baazi mera dimag, mera gussa, mere dil aur meri mohabbat ke aagey haar gaya.ab aur nahi bhaag sakta.

Seema  could not contain her joy at his word. Absolution  and  peace were given to  her wrapped in the purity of his love.

Dutta-Chanda, main uske bina ab nahi rah sakta. Main maut se nahi darta. Par main maut se lard kar wapas sirf jeene ke liye nahi aya hoon. Main uske sath jeene ke liye wapas aaya hoon. Main lautna chahta hoon meri mohabbat ke paas. Us ladki ke paas jisse main har roop mein, har rang mein behat pyaar karta hoon. Main aapni patni se pyaar karta hoon. Main aapni  pyaar se milna chahta hoon, uske paas jaan chahta hoon. Main meri  Nakkusha  ke paas lautna chahta hoon hamesha ke liye.

 

So....How was it? leave your thoughts, comments(long ones plz.) and press 'like' if you liked itBig smile




Edited by shilpita87 - 21 January 2011 at 1:36pm

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prettywoman Goldie
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 12:56pm | IP Logged

ab samajh mein aaya raath ko kya kar rahi thiTongue

 
amazing Shilpi.. simply beautiful.. I can just imagine MR sat on that bed with eyes shining full of love and hope, speaking your lines.. truly amazing.. especially how you have blended in Dutta's memories of Nakku and himself with Seema visualising the same about her and Dutta.. you have incorporated the FB's beautifully here.. how till the last minute Seems thinks it is her he is in love with.. truly top notch!Clap
and this line just stole my heart as it just says everything about Dutta right now
Uske dhokhe ka dard use kabhi na pane ke darr se chota hai.
he who kept on harping about her bewafai can now suffer anything in life as long as she is with him.. as long as she holds his hands there is light and life in himClap 


Edited by prettywoman - 21 January 2011 at 1:13pm

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Wanderbugbfunofbb123

Crystal29 Goldie
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
Clap

Beautiful. I had tears in my eyes while reading it. Can visualize Dutta saying out those words with sadness, regret and love in his eyes...You just made my day. I would love if something similar plays out on screen. It would be just like Dutta's monologue in their SR when he told her how he fell in love with her and realized it!

Great work, Shilpita and keep it coming. You are very talented!Star

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meghaparti IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 03 August 2005
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 1:10pm | IP Logged
Thanks for sharing very well written...dear...a refreshing change after seeing the boring track on in LTL these days

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Wanderbugbfunofbb123

Sophia21 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
Reserved
 
Edited;;
Arre Yaar.. after reading such an amazing, emotional OS, you want a long comment..now how do i do that with teary eyes? Cry ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. CTRL+F5 reloads the whole page.
Sigh... Like Remo says in JDJ.. Now THIS IS IT!!!! Clap ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. CTRL+F5 reloads the whole page.Clap ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. CTRL+F5 reloads the whole page. *Standing ovation*
I would say PERFECT!...
One side, he was thinking about him and nakku, how he behaved with her and everything. On the other side, Chanda was thinking about her n Dutta.!!
And i love how he didn't mention her name then right at the end, he was like i want to go to my wife Nakusha...Sigh... Where's your hands, i wana kiss itEmbarrassed ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. CTRL+F5 reloads the whole page.LOL ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. CTRL+F5 reloads the whole page...
 
I want the CVs to steal ur idea lolLOL ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. CTRL+F5 reloads the whole page....


Edited by Sophia21 - 21 January 2011 at 1:28pm

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bfunofbb123Wanderbug

kiran255 IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 1:16pm | IP Logged
OH shilpi 
You ahve again stole my heart with this OS 
It is so beautifully written 
i love the part when u write 
he has to fight with the dark as the warrior he is !
He indeed is 
I so love it !
and the most i enjoy 
when he was telling Chanda/seema 
his memories of Naku and seema thinks of her !
i was just waiting he could say  the name 
and yes he did !
i am so happy that now Seema knows 
Betrayal has stages 
her betrayal was to leave Dutta 
and Naku betrayed Dutta just to have him 
so love it !
gr8 job shilpi :D

P.s one thing missing Chanda reaction over this 
hahahahhaha so want to see her really wake up of her lala land :P

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Wanderbugbfunofbb123

Crystal29 Goldie
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 1:18pm | IP Logged
I have to add....After reading your OS, I am more excited about what might happen next week than before. I watch LTL for just this beauty and purity of the DN relationship! Your OS brought it all back to me. Thanks for that! So now...transferring all my energy from hating Seema to getting excited about Dutta missing NakkuLOL

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sub_rosaWanderbugMelodiousDreams

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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
Wow, shilpita................i cud not find proper words to describe my feelings after reading ur OS..........its so beautiful....Day Dreaming.......kaash CVs tumhari tarah soch pate,................after a torturous week of LTL ur OS brought such a relief ,............i can say now i will wait patiently for a wonderful tasha reunion.............as i feel its jus a week away Day Dreaming

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Wanderbug

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