Originally posted by pooja.s92
Nice post Arjun
I definitely agree. Excess of ANYTHING is bad.
Now for the teens, I think it depends. I like my BB but I am not physically or mentally addicted to it. I love BBMing or texting my friends outside school.. it's fun, quicker and and relatively inexpensive. But yeah, I wouldn't sit and BBM for the whole day, I have more of a life
And I am okay if my parents take it away for a while! Big deal and I think it shouldn't be for anyone. It's just a stupid phone at the end of the day and if you are NOT ready to give it to your parents even for a single minute cause you NEED it then you're either addicted or you're hiding something
.. in any case, you're wrong
And yes Arjun, agree .. there are some extreme ones! Some girls, wherever they go (parties, classes, assemblies and even washroom
) they carry their phones and they would be seen texting aimlessly!
And this one girl in my class totally goes into withdrawl if her phone is taken away like confiscated and she starts acting really, really WEIRD. But becomes all cool and normal when she gets it back. She is too addicted I guess. Not good.
I used to text my girl- friends whilst in the same party saying "OMG! That guy in black is cute"
Oh, I don't do that now
And like you mentioned about texting all night, well that isn't good. Cause she will end up getting up late and feeling sleepy in the class the next morning which eventually may lead to getting bad grades along with developing a bad sleeping pattern which will affect her health too. So yeah .. limited use and a lil bit of inquiry is needed. But making them feel like you're spying on them and stuff can irritate them.. ! And I think some parents think daughters need extra- protection since they are more vulnerable. I am not sure though. I am very close to my dad and he gives me enough freedom and I think I turned out pretty good
Though, I will admit that I need to start sleeping early and stop bunking dinner!! Not nice.. I knowww !
As for the other problems with teens, I think it's mostly cause of the peer pressure. Friends and the group your kid hangs out with has a huge influence. Life has become all "She said, he said, have you seen this, have you got that, that's in, that's so cool. I'm getting this. she's already got it
.. !" for them. Pheww .. Everyone's trying to be somebody else, acting like others and copying them .. It's really stupid!
Though I agree that peer pressure from friends is hardly ever deliberate. It is felt internally
and one needs to be much stronger to resist it. It is VERY easy to slam a door or show some form of rebellion against a parent while is very difficult to show defiance of one's friends!!
But still .. TEENAGE is a very crucial age and the kids are going through a lot of confused emotions. There is so much going on in their lives .. they are trying to "fit in" in some or the other group, friendships, crushes, stupid heart-breaks
, studies, self-esteem issues and competition, future aspirations etc etc etc .! So much to deal with and on top of that parents and their constant nagging can become too much to handle
They need someone to console and listen calmly rather than someone ordering them to do this or do that. Parents def need to be friends first
Give their children enough space but make sure that they're montioring them as well in the things that require it. I personally get annoyed when some parents get into the "when I was your age .. " mode, or worse, the "why can't you be like xyz .. " mode.
Times have changed and the way things were are not the same in this day so discussing the great things they did when they were our age is really stupid! And also when parents don't give sensible reasons or ask their kids to not do certain things cause they are saying so. If they can give justified reasons then I am sure most of the kids would be ready to co-operate as well :) It's WAY better than the " cause I said so logic"
which many of my friend's parents do! An..d yeah ..when parents don't seem to live the life they keep urging they kids to do so. They lie to their boss about not being in town and get angry when the kids lie to their teacher about forgetting the home-work at home
And other exs like watching tv late night, smoking or drinking, laziness .. ! So yeah .. "preach what you teach" is a must for the lil ones. They get influenced easily and when it's coming from their own parents, what do you even expect ?
I agree with Ekta. Even my parents lets me be and gives me enough freedom and I really respect that. I do make mistakes but my parents are always there for me. But I also agree with you Arjun that certain lines shouldn't be crossed and needs careful monitoring or guidance. TV and Internet are very powerful and influencing tools and you never really know what your kids are learning/discussing/reading/ watching on the net or tv ... am sure you know what I mean and how misleading and unsafe it can be? I don't know what is the correct way to control that but yes, parents need to remain very calm and patient while dealing with such things
As I mentioned earlier, they can get rebellious and start doing those things secretly which obsly would cause more problems in future. Those seeds of rebeliousness will grow into trees and it will be very difficult and painful for both the parent and the child to get rid of!
Now the only solution I can think of is" COMMUNICATION". That's not easy either. Parents are busy with their long tiring schedules while sometimes the kids are busy with their school cum cool stuff :P The child might come to the dad to talk about something but he might be busy on some imp business call.. mom might be with Mrs. Mehra discussing some lame Ekta show :P likewise when parents want to talk maybe the kid has had a terrible day or a silly fight with her/his bestie and isn't in the mood to answer their shitloads of questions or want to be left alone. It would be good if the family decides to have a "daily shared time" like during dinner maybe .. Discuss their doubts and concerns. The child should let their parents know that they appreciate their concerns and and might also talk about their own emotional reactions about being restricted. And also how they feel that the parents are treating them like young ones, not trusting them enough, or not allowing them to grow up instead of slamming the door or yelling at each other! Parents should always have open and effective communication with their child no matter how old he/she is. Discuss things and ask them how they feel about it and most importantly, listen to them carefully when they talk. Then advice them on the ill-iffects of it! Clear and honest communication with adults is VITAL at every level.
As for watching tv while eating, even adults do that and it is def not good. You tend to eat a lot more than usual and consume WAY too much calories whilst being lost in some stupid reality show, exciting cricket match or creepy hindi serial :P plus you don't even get to enjoy the "yummy" food
Snacks and tea is okay but having breakfast, lunch and dinner infront of the tv doesn't sound like a healthy idea to me!
Should be avoided fosho!
So the conclusion of this long, boring post is "everything in moderation and nothing in excess."
As for the parent-child relationship, children should pay a lil more attention to their parent's lectures and parents should lecture their children a lil less!
I think if both sides listen a bit more, and feel less "fed up" of each other, it would be a lot easier and happier