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Rang Badalti Odhani

-Shanak SS- Banwra Mann Final Pg 16 (Page 7)

.Rupali. Goldie
.Rupali.
.Rupali.

Joined: 27 October 2010
Posts: 1976

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 2:21am | IP Logged
i loved ur take with d situation....i wish the cv's would have thought something similar to this(mature)...

update soon...Smile

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saaaz

priya_cool_123 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 7621

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 6:47am | IP Logged
nice one saaz....... i m missing shaan and akki talks..... loved it..... and mad not able to hug khanak because she was holding the mobile...lol.. typically maddish...
 
love the way u keep the original essence of the characters

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saaaz

bones88 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 7:58am | IP Logged
SaazHug mindblowing update... loveeed itHug plz update soon

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saaaz

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
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Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 9:43am | IP Logged

@adventure gurl: thanks much

@rbo_d_best: vaishu? Right? Thanks re

@Mani: Thank you..communicating between lines?? 'hmm'but these two burdthals never get each other that way'no matter how hard I try' haan?Big smile

@SYS: I hope the next part meets your expectationsBig smile

@Sneha: Yaar, yeh SAM anywhere anytime useless haiLOL

@shanakrocks1: Thanks re,,CVs ke baare mei jitna kum bole, utna acha'

@Naveen: Nahin yaar- koyi shock and CV walla shock tho deffo not

@Shriya: Thanks, yep my dear, KFD sunke saal beeth gaye

@Krishna: MY LADY IN PINK'loved your comments on both parts,,,as always hitting right notes,,,yes sofa is very dear to shanak's story'hai na??

@ADITEEEEEEEE: Tu tho title dekhke hi BAWRI ho gayee'.you went from thanking DocD to saying the SHOW is fabulous'..hope the next part is satisfactory!! 'yes dearie'the title that got you unhinged has been completely inspired from the song  Bawra Mann written and performed by Swanand Kirkire from the movie Hazaron Kwaishein Aisi; shall post the song with translation very soon; thanks for comment reHug

@RboFan1: Thank you

@ Krock: CVs pagal hai'tu mera SS padh

@Rafia: dearest rafia'your comments are a pleasure to read always pointing out your fav lines and what you think of them'love that about you'thanks, they make me very happy

@Anu: Oye, standing ovation ki bachhi'BAITH JA!!!LOL.. Itna mujhe mat chadda!! loved loved how you imagined them wearing those clothes,,,,I am very bad at describing the aesthetic of the scen'I am so happy when someone does it for me in their head..I love that!!!

@Saira: Yaar such kind words of appreciation!! Thanks so much, I am touched..I really am! I hope you like the next update equally.Smile

@May: thanks re..

@Shia: Yaar, FF jahapannah'apne bol diya..humne mann liya!!

@Deepali: Thank you!!

@Angel: Thank you and always welcome!

@Wooster: OYE'tu pagal tho nahin ho gayee hai'listen itna pressure mat daalo tum log'.I shall be exploring some aspect of Shaan;s emotion'but whether it is the guilt that you are hoping for'.I don't know!! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless'thanks for commenting re!!Smile

@Ammu: Thank you'yes FF and VMs are more enjoyable than the show unfortunately'kya kare?

@Souma: I am extremely hurt by this'that is all I have to say!!

@Smitha: Haiylo'kya talent'nothing nothing like your VMs yaar!!!

@Vandoo: Brain department hi nahin hai'tala lag gaya'.UPPER CHAMBER TO LET ka board laga hai unke gale'LOL

@Rooj: Ummm'.can I do a rain check on the kiss!! But a virtual HUG 'right away dearHug

@Loveshanak: Thank you

@Priyacool: yep dear, I wanted to focus the story on shanak and K-house 'wohi tho tha GOLDEN RBO ka USP.Tongue

@Bona: Where were you? Why took so long? Thank you dearie

 

@all: NEXT PART coming soon'.I do hope you guys enjoy it'

and for the song Bawra Mann...highly recommended...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rClcGR6rdNk

have posted lyrics on 

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1597539&TPN=3

shall post translation too if anyone is interested...



Edited by saaaz - 21 January 2011 at 9:49am

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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:47am | IP Logged
r u updating it now... just now
saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by priya_cool_123

r u updating it now... just now

yes I am
saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:55am | IP Logged

Shaan enters whistling his tune, yelling her name'..

--------

PART III

In their bedroom, Sunil and Madhavi are discussing Madhavi's encounter with Khanak,, ,,
Sunil: Kya baat ho sakti hai?
Mad: Pata nahin,,,, lekin maine usse itni upset pehle kabhi nahin dekha
Sunil: Yeh Shaan ne tho kuch nahin kaha na usse, agar aisi baat hai, tho uski khair nahin
Mad: Nahin Sunil, I don't think it is Shaan, tum tho use dekh hi rahe ho'I mean come on, Shaan ki nazar tho Khanak se hatthi hi nahin '.,,,,he is crazy about her,,,mujhe lagta hai Dhulwaadi se kuch buri khabar aayi hai
Sunil: Hmmm'ya shayad Khusboo ne usse kuch kahan ho?
Mad: Khusboo???!!!  Woh usse kya kahegi aur kyun kahegi??
 
In their bedroom, Khusboo was pestering Akki..,,,,
Boo: Main kissise kya kahoongi aur kyun kahoongee??
Akki: (smiling and pinching her nose) Kyunki tumhari pet mein koyi baat pachti nahin
Boo: (mocks and turns away) Chalo chodo,,,, theek hai,,, mat batao,,,anyway tum dono bhai kya baat karoge ek doosre se???Ladkiyon ke baare mein,,, aur kya??
Akki: (smiles and turns her face towards him) So tho hai,,,lekin iss bar,,,twas just one girl,,,
As Akki finishes relating his conversation with his brother to Boo,,,,they hear voices from Shaan's bedroom,,,,
 
They step out to see Sunil and Madhavi also at the doorstep of their own bedroom,,, each one raising their eyebrows at each other and shrugging shoulders in response.
 
And in their bedroom, Shanak'
 
Shaan: (blistering and waving hands) Wah!! Tho tum Sunny se mil chooki ho?? Aur tumne yeh baat mujhse chupayi? Kyun?
Khanak: (yelling back with equal fervor) Baat tho aapne bhi chupayi'
Shaan: Haan,,, kyunki mujhe darr tha aur main tumhe khona nahin chahta tha'
Khanak: Darr tho mujhe bhi tha
Shaan: Tumhe kis baat ka darr,,, ki kahin main Sunny ko bhi maar daloonga'.
Khanak (glaring): Shaantanu ,,,Bas kijiye,,,Bahut bol liya aapne,,,,,,,Aapne kabhi mere nazariye se socha bhi hai,,,,,, Sunny ka chehra Suraj se milta hai,,, wohi Suraj jo mera pehla pyaar tha,,,wohi suraj jo mere pati the,,,,wohi suraj jiske saath maine kasme liye the ,,'..aur'.aaj,,,,main''
Shaan :(shouting and grabbing her towards him):  MAT LO '.,,,'.MAT LO uska naam,,,,'suraj MAR chukka hai.,,,'MAIN tumhara pati hoon'aur jab bhi tum uska naam leti ho,,,'Main pal pal marta hoon,,,'mat lo uska naam!!! (letting go of her...closes his eyes for a second and turns around)

Fuming and hurting, Shaan grabs the blanket and pillow from the bed and turns to leave the room'.
Khanak: Aap kahan jaa rahe ho?,,,.,,Maine apni baat poori nahin ki,,,,,
Shaan: (shaking his head) Nahin sunna mujhe tumhari koyi baat!
Khanak: Lekin aap jaa kahan rahen hai?
Shaan: Sone jaa raha hoon
Khanak: Kahan?
Shaan:  Study mei aur kahan
Khanak: Study mei kyoon?
Shaan: Kyunki  jis Sofe pe main sota hoon, use tumne study mein rakh diya
Khanak: Maine nahin,,,woh tho Dharam bha aur Hari bha ne'
Shaan: Haan haan'Kya sofe ne kahan tha Dharam aur Harilal se ke'"aao aao mujhe study mei le jaao"
Khanak: (sits down on the edge of the bed) Tho Jaiye na,,,roka kisne hai,,,,jaiye jaiye'
Shaan :' Of course Jaunga! And just to let you know' Jo baat Sofa mein hain'woh'(tucking the blanket under his armpit and the waving his hand over the bed),,, isme kahan!!!!
(leaves banging the bedroom door behind him)

Outside,,,,he watches his parents and brother scurry back into their rooms, while his bhabi looks at him with a disapproving look'.,,,,Shaan responds with an obligatory roll of eyes.

Khanak: (to the closed door) ,,,Bhagwaan kare aapko neend na aaye,,,(turns towards the bed, lying down over it mutters),,, Sofa nahin meri saut hai,,,.(then looks over the side table at Shaantanu's photo, takes it and hugs it),,,,Aaap samajhte kyun nahin???
 
In the study, Shaan tosses and turns on the blessed sofa, sits up talking to himself animatedly
 
"Samajhti kyun nahin??? Kya woh ek baar bhi nahin keh sakti ki kaun Suraj? Main tho Suraj ko bhool chukee hoon,,,, Shaantanu,,,aapne meri zindagi mein itni khushiyaan bhar diye,,,,ki main aapki hoon hamesha ke liye,,,,,Itna mushkil hai kya yeh sab kehna??? Yeh 'I love you' thodi hai,,,,, Yaar,, yeh Suraj ko bhi marna kyun tha,,,, marke woh tho bada hero ban gaya,,, woh bhi MERI biwi ki nazroon mein!!, Chodo yaar,,.,,, , mujhe kissise baat nahin karni,,,,,mujhe sona hai'"
 
Saying so, he lies back on the sofa,,,he turns over,, turns some more,,,and then finally tosses his blanket off,,,,gets up,,, and walks towards their bedroom and pushes open the door,,, switches on the bed light to see his wife fast asleep clutching his photo frame. He smiles, kisses her forehead,,,,,she stirs a little and mutters,, "Shantanu",,,, He stills,, and then runs his hand over her face and says  softly,,,.."Kya tum mujhe maaf nahin karogee Khanak?",,,, She clutches his photo even closer,,,or so he thinks, but it is not his imagination when she mutters,," I love you,",,, he grins and walks back to the study,,,,sits on the sofa and fists to himself a childish "YES"!!! and turns himself in ' to a blissful night's sleep'one which does not wake him up in a cold sweat.

------------------

Review is mandatory



Edited by saaaz - 21 January 2011 at 1:26pm

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Posted: 21 January 2011 at 11:56am | IP Logged

loved it saaz.... this update brought a smile on my face... really...wondering how the cv s didn bother to think of a scene like this which has so much potential to reach the audience of the show....

where is this shaan.... where is he..... i miss this burthal shaan.....
 
very well writtenClapClapClapClap....


Edited by priya_cool_123 - 21 January 2011 at 12:03pm

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