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-Shanak SS- Banwra Mann Final Pg 16 (Page 3)

SHANAKFAN Senior Member
SHANAKFAN
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Joined: 29 October 2010
Posts: 697

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 2:49am | IP Logged
good work saaz really loved it...Thumbs Up

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saaaz

roadsidejunkey Goldie
roadsidejunkey
roadsidejunkey

Joined: 08 October 2010
Posts: 1675

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 5:01am | IP Logged
Grt saaaz!gud wrk... Smile

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saaaz

-Deepali- IF-Stunnerz
-Deepali-
-Deepali-

Joined: 18 November 2010
Posts: 31351

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 6:13am | IP Logged
Nice update saaz and very well writtenHug
I love your Shanak wala SSDancing can't wait pl. update next part soon.Big smile
Thanks for pm dearLOL



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saaaz

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:46am | IP Logged

@adventure gurl: Thanks so much

@sampar: yaar, when an FF writer such as you writes me a comment, it does make me super happy

@Aditee: Piramise'bus??!!! Khush??!!Big smile

@Angel: Thanks

@Bones: Hey you, been awhile..Hug

@Souma: Thanks! about CVs..I don't know re'their compulsions are beyond my understanding anymore

@Imane: Umm'are you reserving your opinion? Or you have reservations about the SS??..edited--- THANK YOU for getting the sofa connection....thank youBig smile

@Rooj: Thanks dear, I am trying very hard to achieve that combo..let me see'

@Mani: Yes, I know the part was short..I was not very sure how to go from serious to fun and how it would be taken'

@Sneha: HAILA'.you came'TongueBig smile

@Naveen: a big hug..Hug

@Vandoo: I am happy you are happy, as for the rest who knows, mera SS bhi damp squib ban sakta hai!

@SYS: A part of me has decided this is the only way I can deal with my frustration with regard to what has happened in the show'epilogue shall happen over the weekendSmile

@Pooja: Thanks, sure..shall PM

@Priya cool: You are too cool!

@Shanakfan: Thanks so much

@Deepa: Thanks re'TongueSmile

@Deepali: Thanks and my pleasure!'

@all those who pressed like: ME like

@everyone: YES, the sofa is another character in my SS 'just like the letters were in my previous one'now kaash RBO CVs understood what these inanimate objects meant to us'.



Edited by saaaz - 20 January 2011 at 11:29am

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angel_9priya_cool_123kubaresnehapatroThe_May_Rose-Deepali-bones88

kubare IF-Sizzlerz
kubare
kubare

Joined: 09 May 2006
Posts: 19907

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 9:37am | IP Logged
Saaz darling....
 
God loved it...loved it loved it....loved loved loved the way he hold her spooned up to her...and just like Yumna I hope the CV's show us a Shanak scene just like that....sigh.....
 
Loved how you have shown both of them dealing wiht their fears individually and trying to put a brave face for one another as they both donot want to trouble the other with what they saw or are going through.
 
What a beginning and way to end...loved the whole Couch nok jhok in the middle...so Shanak nah...sigh...the couch leaves the room at last....I was all for burning it when it made its grand entry....LOLLOLLOL as I remember I so wante them to share the same bed....evwen though they were just friends....so we coudl get close tight and uncomfortable situations...but then fel in love with the couch too...LOLLOLLOL
 
Not nice dear...to get us all hooked and just ending it.....LOLLOL
 
So woman post the next part soon!!!!!AngryLOLLOLLOLLOL

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saaaz-SYS--Manita-

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
Her smile does not reach her eyes'again, he thinks.
 --------------
Part II
 
Khanak:  Aap yahan kaise? Kuch chahiye tha?
Shaan:  Main yahan kaise ka kya matlab,,,main apni patni ki madat karne nahin aa sakta??
Khanak:  KYA? Madat?? Aur Aap? Aap ko ho kya gaya hai? Rehne dijiye, Hari bha hai, woh kar lenge

Shaan watched Harilal leave the kitchen with the tray and a snigger'

Shaan:  Kya yaar Khanak,,, tum mujhe sab ke saamne kaise daant deti ho,,,,??
Khanak: (with a small smile) Maine aisa kya keh diya?,,,,,(and turns to wash her hands)
Shaan: (holds her from behind) Mujhe to ab tumhara yeh datna aadat si ho gayee hai,,,,
Khanak:  (smiles pointing her finger) tho main aur bhi daant sakti hoon,,hai na???,,,,
Shaan: (turns her around) Tum mere saath kuch bhi kar sakti ho,,,aur mujhe kuch bhi keh sakti ho,,,,
Khanak suddenly becomes quite..and looks at him and says'"Shantanu, main aapse'"
 
Only to be stopped by Harilal's voice telling them that Sunil is asking for them at the breakfast table. They join everyone at the breakfast table. Shaan is watching Khanak serve everyone,,,, thinks this is where she is supposed to be,,, by my side,,,, in this house,,, with all of us,,,this is how it was meant to be,,,. Akki shakes him and says'
 
Akki:  Chote, main kuch pooch raha hoon.,,'Kya ho gaya hai tumhe??
Shaan:  Haan,,,,?? kuch nahin!
Akki:  Tere chehre pe bara kyun baje  hai?
Shaan (looking at Khanak sitting next to his dad):  Kuch nahin,,,
Akki:  Is everything okay? Dekh I know Dad ne tujhe bahut sunaya tere music ke bare mein,,, but don' t worry okay,,,
Shaan:  Nahin bhaiya,,, woh baat nahin hai,,,
 
Just as Akshay is about to delve further, Khusboo asks him if she can borrow the car,,,she needs to meet a friend,,she says. Akshay,,,never one to refuse his wife,,,turns to Shaan and Shaan nods that he will drop Akshay on his way to the studio. Sunil is visiting the site and needs Dharam to drive him. Shaan looks up for Khanak who after instructing Harilal is now on the phone,,, he waves and blows her a kiss,,,, she has a small smile and waves back,,, she seems preoccupied,,,he thinks and watches his brother get his tie tightened by bhabhi, smiles thinking it has been awhile since he and his brother have chatted,,,, finally someone to take his load off,,,
 
Akshay (driving): KYA????KYA???? Humshakal???? Are you serious????
Shaan: Please bhaiya, isiliye main keh raha tha, ki main drive karoonga
Aki: Arrey jab tum ne kahan, ki you have something  important to discuss, maine socha ki Dad ke bare mein hai,,,aur tu drive karte karte utavala na ho jaaye.,,,Anyways,,,,Khanak ka kya reaction tha???
Shaan: Maine abhi tak usse kuch kaha nahin.
Akki: KYA??? What is wrong with you, Chote??
Shaan: Pata nahin,,, Bhaiya,,, Main khud completely deal nahin kar paa raha hoon,,,,Khanak ka kya haal hoga,,,mujhe pata nahin,,,and Bhaiya,,,mere mann mei ek darr sa baith gaya hai,,,,
Akki: Darr? Kaisa darr?
Shaan: Pata nahin,,,bhaiya,,,pata nahin kya hai,,,,
 
Akki looks over at his brother and not for the first time feels for his kid brother's helplessness, only this time, he assures himself and Shaan that he will be there for him.
 
Madhavi while texting Mrs. Sharma, from the corner of her eye can see Khanak nervously walking up and down in the bedroom with a phone in her hand. She wonders what is wrong with this KFD and goes back to texting and without realizing looks up to see KFD sitting by the window and sobbing uncontrollably.  Now what is wrong with her? She thinks and enters the bedroom'
 
Madhavi: Khanak, yeh tumhe kya ho gaya hai?
Khanak: (hurriedly wiping her tears and standing): Kuch nahin Mummy ji
Madhavi: Arrey,, aise baithke ro rahee thee,,, aur ab keh rahee ho kuch nahin,,,, mujhe kya pagal samajh rahi ho
Khanak: Nahin Mummyjee,,, main bas,,,. and she breaks down sitting on the window bench,,,
Madhavi : Kya hua hain tumhe???...
 
and walks forward and places her free hand over Khanak's shoulder and Khanak breaks down holding her ,,,, Madhavi tries to hug Khanak, but cannot,,,, her phone is in her other hand,,,, and what if Mrs. Sharma calls.
 
The phone does ring, but its Khanak's,,, Madhavi steps away,,, leaves Khanak to attend it,,,.
 
Khanak:  Hello, Sam??? Main kabse tumhe phone lagaa rahee hoon
SHaan:  Phone tho tumhe sirf mujhe lagaana chahiye
Khanak:  Aap?? (smiling through her tears)
Shaan:  Khanak,,(getting off the chair he was seated on),, tum theek tho ho??? Kya baat hai??
Khanak:  Nahin kuch nahin,, aap bataiye,, kaise phone kiya? (wipes her tears and says a little prayer)
Shaan:  Bus, aise hi,,(scratching the chair he was sitting on),, Kya kar rahi thi? Aur Sam ka phone ka intezaar kyun ho raha tha??
Khanak:  Kuch nahin,,,,Aap ko phone karne ki fursat kahaan se mili??
Shaan:  Arrey apni biwi ke saath baatein karne ke liye mere paas fursat hi fursat hai,,
Khanak:  Acha,,, baatein ya daant,,, (smiling with tears in her eyes)
Shaan:  Arrey,,,,sab kuch,,,,tum kuch kaho tho sahi,,,
Khanak:  Shaantanu,,,,mai aapse bahut pyaar karti hoon,,,,
Shaan: (closing his eyes lest his emotions get the better of him, but they do): Khanak'.main tumhare bina kuch bhi nahin,,,,
Khanak: Acha, tho bina bataaye subah kyun chale gaye? Upar se aapne theek se naashta bhi nahin kiya ,,
Shaan: Woh isiliye taaki tumhari yeh daant se bach sakoo'(with a small smile)..,,.Abhi jao,,,,mujhe bahut kaam hai,,,kitni bolti ho tum
Khanak:  Arrey wah!! Phone aapne kiya aur'jaiye main aapse baat nahin karti'..
 
Khanak disconnects the phone with a smile in her eyes and heart,,,. Her phone call to Sam can wait.
Shaan cannot wait to get back home. He just cannot,,, his yearning for his wife overtakes his love for her,,, his wanting to be for her, by her, inspires him,,,,how can the heart be so foolish and restless he thinks,,,,,he sits to work on his new song,,,, wanting to complete it before he leaves for home where his heart is'
 
Khanak cannot get over the fact that Sam has actually brought Sunny home,,,, what if someone at home sees him,,,,what is wrong with this girl,,,Khanak thinks,,,waise tho sheher ki ladkiyaan phone karke hi kissi ke ghar jaate hain,,,,pata nahin yeh Sam ki ajeeb aur gareeb harkatein ka main kya karoon,,,,her thoughts are running amuck,,,, well, there is sometime before everyone returns home,,,,,she cannot understand or even care to hear a single word Sam is saying and suddenly the door opens and Shaan enters whistling his tune, yelling her name'..

-----

Review mandatory....


Edited by saaaz - 20 January 2011 at 12:22pm

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IshBinONAegosangitasenguptaktymfanAnu80shanakrocks1woosterSHANAKFANKrazEeeNisha2angel_9roadsidejunkeySachDJ.Rupali.vaish_123-SYS-Asyaloveriluvmanarjparkerrafia 24tvrasikaOlicityFandestinylove-Manita-Fanaah-YasharanArshi-purvi08krocksnehapatroThe_May_Roseadventure_gurlkubare-Deepali-bones88togepe30shanakyasharan

adventure_gurl IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 22841

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 12:15pm | IP Logged
awesome  job!

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saaaz-Manita-

-YasharanArshi- IF-Rockerz
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-YasharanArshi-

Joined: 26 December 2010
Posts: 6644

Posted: 20 January 2011 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
Saaz .. great track .. CVs kuch ideas lelo from this gurl !!!!

Loved AKKi/Shaan convo ... CVs should have used AKKI for this rather than the pirates act !!!!!
It would have added the brotherhood punch !!!!!!!!!!!

Khanak - awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww so heart-wrenching Cry

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saaaz-Manita-

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