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Joined: 16 January 2010
I am BACK! And here goes the update.
Everyone was confused about gunjan's confusion right? So here. I Guess I have cleared most of it. And the rest will be cleared in the next update!
Hope you like it.
The Next Morning the sun was high up in the sky when Gunjan opened her eyes. She yawned once more and then sat in bed. She didnt have to go to office today. She could just stay at home and do NOTHING! It was irritating, how could someone just keep sitting at home? That too for 15 days! But well.. she couldn't help it! The orders were from her mother!
She sat up in bed and looked at her mobile to check the time. But the only thing she saw was 7 missed calls. All of them were from Samrat. She called back
"Hi Samrat! Did you call?"
"Nahi.. 7 calls mere bhoot ne kiye!" He laughed.
"ha ha. Very funny! Toh bolo?"
"Samrat kyun call kiya?"
"Chashmish.. tum aaj office main nahi rahogi na. Toh tumhe miss kar raha tha!"
"Haan.." he said. "Waise kal raat ko tumhe kya hogaya tha?"
"Mujhe? Kuchh nahi.. kyun?"
"Oh please Chashmish. you cant hide it from me! There was something wrong last night!"
"Samrat.. woh bas.. tabiyet theek nahi lag rahin thi!"
"Nahi batana toh chhod do!" he sighed. "I hope your not angry with me?"
"Samrat.. why will I be angry?"
"because.. um.. because.. I am the best Boyfriend!"
"Oh.. Par uske liye toh mujhe khush hona chahiye na!"
"Kal khush hi toh nahi lag rahin thi chashmish!"
"I am sorry samrat.. kal bas.. kuchh mood kharab tha!" she said. What else would she tell him. He knew her soo well.. he knew it that there was something troubling her and she didnt want to share it with him.. Even samrat didnt ask again. He knew that was not the truth. He wanted to know the truth but he couldnt force her. He decided to cheer her up.
"So what are you wearing Tomorrow?"
"Arrey you dont know? Tomorrow is our roka ceremony!"
"Kya? Mom didnt tell me!"
"Thats because your still in bed. If you get up then only she will tell you na!" Samrat laughed.
Gunjan smiled too.. he had so easily changed the topic. But in Gunjan's mind she had even lesser time to clear her doubts and confusions and make a decision. Firstly she wanted to know why she thought that way? What went wrong! What explanation would she give Samrat!
Everything was very confusing for her!
Ok. She decided. She will try and think about it clearly and once and for all. There was a fear inside her which she couldnt read.
"Chashmish! Mujhse baat nahi karna kya?" Samrat said from the other side.
"Nahi nahi.. aisi koi baat nahi hai!" she said. "par tumhe kaam nahi karna?"
"Nahi. Mujhe sirf tumse baat karna hai?"
"Haan. Bohot saari baatein!"
"Kyun? Shaadi ke baad tum baat nahi karoge?"
"Oh God! Gunjan.. yeh kya kiya! Mujhe shaadi ki yaad dila di.. ab poore din sirf shaadi ke baare main hi sochunga.. and shaadi ke baad sirf baate thodi karenge!"
Gunjan blushed hard at that comment!
"Shut up Samrat!"
"Ok ok. Chill. Ill call you later! Bye"
"Bye.." Gunjan laughed.
"Mom! Mom!" Gunjan said as she ran down the stairs.
"Good morning beta! Bolo?"
"Kal roka ka rasm hai?"
"Mom you didnt tell me!"
"Gunjan bataya toh tha tujhe ki parso se saare rasm chaloo honge isliye office nahi jana hai!" Gunjan's mom said. "Par tujhe kya hua?"
Gunjan sat down next to her mom and hugged her tight.
"Mom I dont know. Mujhe bohot ajeeb feel hota hai!"
Gunjan's Mom laughed and looked at her daughter.
"It happens Gunjan. You are getting married so all the excitement turns into fear. You get frightened hoping everything is alright!"
"But mumma. Main kya karoo?"
"Yeh sab normal hai beta. Just be happy!" she smiled. "If you think positive everything will be positive!"
Gunjan's Mom made her understand that she is just anxious. But Gunjan didnt tell her about her second thoughts on marriage.
|| THE NEXT MORNING ||
The first Wedding function.. But I am still confused. Why is this happening. I was so happy with Samrat like a week ago. But now. Suddenly why am I scared to go to their house. Why am I scared to take a step ahead in life. What has happened to me? Even yesterday after thinking for so long I didnt come to any conclusion. Something is seriously wrong. What do I want? Why cant I understand. Why am I feeling so weird. My hear beats increase everytime I think about the wedding. But this is not excitement. This is fear as if I am losing myself somewhere in the middle.
The First Wedding Function. Everything should be perfect today! Its such a special day today. The Perfect life! So much excitement so much anxiety so much curiosity. Its as if I am seeing her for the first time. Everything seems so new to me! This is one of the best days of my life. Hope these days pass soon and then once and for all Gunjan is mine.. forever and ever. Life becomes so much easier with someone beside you!
I dont know anything. I told myself as I stood in front of the mirror wearing my jewellery and dressing up. The smile on my face was lost somewhere. A weird awkwardness had arouse and I felt alone and scared.
I got ready and went down looking for my mom. It was the first time ever when I actually needed her help. I didnt know what was happening to me? Why was it happening. Maybe she would understand!
I remember what she told me yesterday. She said that everything would be alright. But how? How would everything be normal again? How is that even possible after all this! But m I over reacting. I have a feeling I should talk to Samrat. This is about our life and I wouldn't want to take a decision that would hamper both our lives. Its mostly for him. He should know how I feel. My problems. Everything!
I sat in the hall waiting for them to arrive. My happiness and excitement was beyond limits. It was a new beginning. Forgetting everything in the past and moving on in life with your loved one is a huge step to take. Armaan sat next to me staring at me freakishly.
"Why are you staring?"
Armaan laughed. "Look at your face yaar?
"Armaan. Not today atleast!"
"Look at your self dude. Your blushing! I know its your wedding and all but you need to learn how to chill!"
The doorbell rang and I involuntarily sprang up to open the door. Mom looked at me in shock and i took my seat back. Armaan laughed out loud.
Oh My God! I said to myself as she walked into the door with her heavy pink lehenga on. She looked like a real princess. The most beautiful person I have ever seen! She looked at me and I smiled. She looked so amazing and I couldn't control myself! I got up and walked up to her. She looked up at me confused. Obviously. Even I couldnt understand my emotions at that time. She knew me well..
"Your looking ravishing!"
She looked down and smiled. "Thank you!"
Mom and To-be-mother-in-law started the roka. We were made to sit down next to each other on the sofa. And some other relatives had also come. Actually some was an understatement. Our house was full of them. One by one they came and gave gifts to gunjan ONLY! And then put teak on both our foreheads. After that we had to bend and touch their feet. It was kind of difficult for Gunjan as her lehenga was heavy and she had to get up everytime and touch the persons feet.
Then the photo graphs were taken. LOADS of them. I hate photos. Especially mine. I look bad.. really bad. We took pictures with everyone and then only me and Gunjan. Those pictures were fun but very awkward because the photographer asked us to pose. With my hands around gunjan. Then me and Gunjan looking at each other sitting on the bed and all that. I was really laughing half the time.
And plus when Armaan is there to comment on each and every picture how can someone control their laughter.
I have to tell him. I have to. I pulled Samrat into a room after the ceremony was over. Samrat came in with me.
"Samrat. I need to talk to you!"
"What? Abhi? Bedroom main?" he said feeling shy! I mean what the hell. Why would I want to do all THAT here!
"Samraaat! Its NOT that. I need to talk.. its SERIOUS"
"Achha" he said walking towards me. Automatically my feet move back wards and I keep looking into his eyes deeper and deeper. Samrat was soo happy with this marriage. How would I ever tell him all this? Will he hate me? What will happen? I shut my eyes to think one more time and then Samrat kisses me on my cheek making all my fears run away. I actually smiled as I touched my cheek where he had kissed me. I looked at him in shock.
"Sorry, Your looking so beautiful that I couldnt hold myself back." He said with a naughty grin.
I smiled unknowingly and he took me in his arms. His hands encircled my waist and in no time we were close to each other. How could I ever tell him.. he was never serious! But he was so cute and unavoidable. As I looked at him my fears all ran away and I was lost in him. But wait. I had to tell him how I felt so with all the fear slowly creeping up again I said.
"Samrat. I need to tell you Something. Important!" I said.
Samrat was clearly not in a mood to talk. He started to come closer again. He needed to hear me out okay! That was not fair. He was just staring at me as if I were dead. He kissed me again on my cheek and refused to listen to what I want to say! His lips were soft against my bare neck and he was lost in his own world. I had to tell him. I had made up my mind. It was so frustrating. Why couldn't he be serious for once. Everytime he touched me a chill ran up my spine and there was even more fear and nervousness. It just increased with time and when I couldnt bare it longer I broke down!
"Enough Samrat!" I yelled. "I have been trying to tell you something for so long and you just dont care!" I scolded him and stomped out of the room before thinking twice. I was annoyed okay! It was irritating when a person just didnt want to listen to you. I went to the next room to sit alone for sometime. To actually think about what I had done. But as I sat there, Nupur came in.
"Gunjan.. What are you doing here?"
"Nupur. Actually I am not feeling well."
"I dont know.." Maybe I could tell her. She is already married so she would be able to tell me what is wrong with me!
"Nupur I wanted to tell you something" she gulped. "Promise you wont tell anyone?"
"Yeah Gunjan.. Tell me?"
"Nupur. I am having second thoughts about this marriage. I havent known Samrat too long and Everything seems to be in a hurry! Life is moving so fast and Samrat just doesn't listen to me. I am not excited for this marriage. I am Scared. I am hell scared. Its as if I am losing myself somewhere in between. What should I do? Why is this happening! I love Samrat but—
I took a deep breathe. I had spoken all this in one breathe and now I was short of words. But Nupur just raised her eyebrows and the next moment she started laughing! I knew I shouldn't have told her only! She wont Understand! My mistake.
"Cant believe your laughing!" I said as I got up.
"Sit.. Dont go Gunjan. You are behaving just like every girl does before her marriage!"
"What?" I said in shock? That was such a relief to hear.
"Yeah. Even I did the same. Its just that we have to leave behind our old life and move on Thats what the nervousness is about. And all the "FEAR" is actually excitement. You just dont want to face your new self so you keep thinking that its happening too fast. Your just not ready to leave your old life. Thats why. You love Samrat and you would be happy to stay in your house and be in a relationship with Samrat as well ryt?"
I nodded. For the first time Nupur's words made some sense! I was just acting so stupid. Now when she said all this I felt so relieved. I sighed as we got up.
"Thank you soo much.. Bhabhi!" I finally said it! Wanting to move on now!
I hugged Nupur and turned around to see Samrat leaning against the door with his arms crossed smiling at me.
I was finally ready to take on my new life... I guess!
Hey Guys, Well I hope your enjoying this FF too! Well.. I have always loved writing and will always keep entertaining you. But my updates may be a little less often now. As you know I try my best to update fast but as my school will reopen n no time and I have alot of work the updates will be slow. Please try and adjust and Thanks for reading!
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