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confused.. (Page 2)

_charu_ IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 12:22am | IP Logged
Originally posted by moonlight08

i am just not able to understand akshara at this point of tym.. at one point.. i feel akshara is doing a commendable job while she's trying to keep the family united.. shez being the ideal bahu.. but on the other hand.. i feel.. she's not giving naitik the attention he deserves..
 
in yesterday's episode.. i felt akshara was not wrong to go to gayitri n apologise on naitik's behalf.. gayitri was very hurt by the way naitik talked to her.. (which was absolutely correct.. gayitri is being unreasonable dese days.. itz just got into her head ki her "munna" has changed and shez doubting him on every step that he takes..)
nevertheless.. i felt akshara was not wrong.. yeah.. the dialogues written yesterday were pathetic.. but in a way.. her going to gayitri and apologising was a good move.. coz.. who noes.. after a while.. gayitri mite blame akshara for distancing naitik from him.. baisa has already commented on this.. so.. in a way.. looking from akshara's POV.. she was not totally wrong..
 
but.. on the other hand.. i feel.. akshara.. in her efforts to keep their family united.. is undermining naitik's wishes big tym.. lyk she did yesterday.. she asked naitik to apologise.. had the dialogues been subtle.. i wud hav loved the episode.. the dialogues that akshara spoke were out of this world.. "aap mujhe munni bula lijiye".. "naitik aapko aise nhi bolna chahiye tha.. aap ma ke lie humesha munna hi rhenge" had she told naitik "jab aapka gussa thanda ho jaye to ma se bat kar lijiega".. that wud be akshara's biggest acheivemenrt till date.. supporting naitik.. as well as trying to bridge the gap between a mother and a son.. itz as she says.. "m doing all this just for u.. u r everythng to me"..
 
can anyone try n explain me akshara's take on relationships around her.?? is akshara ignoring his wishes or is doing all these things just for him.?? is varsha.. in a way much better in this sense.?? or itz just the family and the husband they are with makes a difference in their lives.??

firstly, the family can never stay united if the emotions of any of the member is ignored..if he's put down everytime by others, he'll def. revolt one day..husband and wife find support in each other...maate has decided (like the buddha gang) that naitik's demands are always unreasonable........akshara's dadi also advised that if husband and wife are like wheels ..if both go in different directions, shadi ki gaadi kabhi nahi chalegi...i don't think maate will succeed in her attempt of keeping the family united if naitik revolts...he loves his wife and his family and he expects them to understand him..what they expect from him, he also expects the same from them.....but most of the time, he's made to feel guilty..why? for having an opinion ? for having diff. thinking? nobody should be blamed for their POV's ..


it should be naitik's choice whether he wants to be addressed as munna or no...nobody wud like to..at least in the office..maate must not come b/w mother and son..they can resolve their issues on their own..both r mature enuf to do it....i dun think akshara understands naitik's pov that well  ke she keeps explaining it to others..

really? is akshara doing everything for naitik..if she does everything for naitik then why does she go against naitik everytime? if you're doing something for someone, do it the way he likes it..respect his opinion and his emotions. then do everything his way, not MA's way


Edited by _charu_ - 20 January 2011 at 12:23am

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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 1:40am | IP Logged
Simply Akshara need to stay out of ma and beta khani ,they will sort their own issues .They dont need Akshara after all parents n kids always have little tiffs but they never last 

Instead of acting like the eternal peace keeper she should get herself away from sieving the besan and putting tarqa on dall and concentrate on her relationship with her husband !
Akshara role is fizzling out and shes just dissolving  in the melting pot of the Singania  household.

It would be nice to see a new bahu add more dimensions .

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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 2:03am | IP Logged
When a man falls in love, or in this case married a girl, is it not obvious that he will change and move slightly away from the other relations? He is someone else now, responsibility changes people too. If mother's fail to realize this, how can misunderstandings not happen? It is not that lack of love is present, it is just perhaps the situation around him has evolved, and how he is a different person. After all he is a human being at the end.

Akshara always had a very sheltered life. Very lucky ofcourse, she had a sheltered life as well as a good man who bears with her own judgment of what life is supposed to mean.


Also ofcourse, she does seem to be satisfied with her life as it is. It seems she must be custom made for this. Otherwise, I wonder why never separate living ever came to their minds, and they could all still be one family
Tongue. Oh no I'm not so bad Big smile, I was just wondering as they all seem to have such opposing views over each other sometimes. Smile

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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 5:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Polki_Zofi

When a man falls in love, or in this case married a girl, is it not obvious that he will change and move slightly away from the other relations? He is someone else now, responsibility changes people too. If mother's fail to realize this, how can misunderstandings not happen? It is not that lack of love is present, it is just perhaps the situation around him has evolved, and how he is a different person. After all he is a human being at the end.

Akshara always had a very sheltered life. Very lucky ofcourse, she had a sheltered life as well as a good man who bears with her own judgment of what life is supposed to mean.


Also ofcourse, she does seem to be satisfied with her life as it is. It seems she must be custom made for this. Otherwise, I wonder why never separate living ever came to their minds, and they could all still be one family
Tongue. Oh no I'm not so bad Big smile, I was just wondering as they all seem to have such opposing views over each other sometimes. Smile

exactly..you've echoed my thoughts..how is it possible that a person doesn't change? with time, age, company, environment, all of us evolve...if bhainsa and dino are so much against doing anything new, why r they using the new age products? cell phone, cars etc? why didn't bhainsa come in a bullock cart instead of train? why don't they use postcards instead of cell phones? or even better, go to dark ages or early man era ! 

all of us are so much immersed in our lives that we ourselves dun know when we change...marriage is a big event of everybody's life..it changes not only the couples's life but their families too...another big event are the kids...ur life takes a U turn everytime..husband and wife dun get time for each other, yahan toh maata doesn't find time for naitik abhi se ! no bache no responsibility aur ye haal hai..in a house full of maids and servants, maate has the handle everything on her own..from jaale utarna to cooking, serving, cleaning, dusting, pooja, and the list goes on..husband is at the bottom of priority list..he can wait while kitchen cannot...what a life ! and akshara is enjoying it as if she's sitting in heavan....

alag khana banane ke naam par gayitri was fuming like a red bull, God knows what will happen if naitik thinks of seperation..

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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 5:52am | IP Logged
Akshara's character went for a toss after marriage.. Yes, we never complained initially thinking with each track, probably she'll get better..but NO.. 
i hav just one question to ask DIMRI... wht does this convey??? it definitely doesnt show reality ....fine, its a joint family, everyone needs to adjust....But, by not giving time to ur husband.... Why does she always hav to please everyone???Confused... maa kya soch rahi hain, maa ko bura laga, DJ ko bura laga.. for god sake, why cant she have a stand of her own? tht "Call me munni" thing was ridiculous...Dead...why is she being so despo?Confused....
im tired of thos dialogues, aap kyun nahi samajte naitik, sabko kitna bura lagega.. its CRAP!!

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moonlight08

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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 7:56am | IP Logged
I wonder if they show this idea of a separate possibility creeping into his mind Big smile, but then she might retaliate and even say that he may go but she won't be leaving all her in-laws! Imagine if she says that among all the in-laws, which would be quite insulting to him (I wonder if I calculated all accordingly, as I think it should be insulting to grown up man being denied of something this big).

Akshara's priority is very different, and I think if its not realistic (as many of you suggest), then its also un-Indian or primitive? But just today someone told me its not uncommon in India!

Quite amusing though, for someone who've known India for just a few months LOLBig smile, quite frankly initially everything threatened me in India (not this serial that I am talking about). But I can see that while we adjust to things, everything and everyone seem quite willing to adjust to us too Smile. But the point is perhaps "expectations" from a person.

Akshara, being an Indian woman has a huge burden of expectations on her (as I could figure from the situation of my lovely sister in law who will be married soon). She is supposed to be doing many things which perhaps a girl from Europe or other western countries are least expected to do.

When I touched my mother-in-laws feet in the traditional Indian way, her smile and the smile of people around her in the airport was big and wholesome, and they took it so warmly, that I noticed it made alot of difference. But when my sister-in-law touches the feet of an elder, the reaction of satisfaction is not extra-ordinary, but very casual. Maybe this is the natural way life goes on? ... Maybe if we think of Akshara from our perspective, or from my perspective (which would be nuts as I'm not even Indian LOL), then the picture will be quite unreal!

But, as the world becomes more open and people learn from each other, see each other ... even realize the values of each other ... the security of being only yourself is not there anymore. Atleast this is how I find it. We need to evolve, otherwise we might end up on the losers list while people around us moves too far ahead, and we realize oneday that the gap is too wide to cover.

Naitik seems quite westernized in certain ways. He is a responsible and loving husband, but perhaps Akshara is yet to adjust herself with him? While he seems to be atleast trying.





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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:14am | IP Logged
^^ i certainly agree abt touching an elder's feet ..tht is indiaBig smile ..so all of us love wen we see a smile on our elders's face Smile.. In real, atleast from wht i know, ppl now dont suppress their feelings,as in right or wrong, we try saying wht we feel...In singhania zoo, if you put across your point, that is said to be going against the eldersOuch...wen naitik asked gayatri not to call him munna, it was made a big deal...why? 
Akshara too is scared of tht fact, so she doesnt bother to speak up...She just agrees with whatever thy say..N naitik has always been quite vocal, thts the best part abt him..Big smile

i can nly say, the family is weird... DIMRI shud hav kept characters consistent... DJ's is not... He has diff rules for his daughter and DIL...why do thy forget akshara's also some1 else's daughter...?

I kinda know its the youth in me talking, cuz elders find the track really gud... but i think its about to bring in changes... We have a modern India..!!

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moonlight08

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Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:36am | IP Logged
#sia.k_1: What is DIMRI? Smile (ah everytime I feel I'm getting some hold on Hindi, something comes up saying I know nothing Ouch).

Yes the touching of feet thing was something he didn't teach me (but he ofcourse keep giving me tips, this one he missed), but I learnt it from the internet Cool, and gave all a surprise Approve. But this is not what I highlighted, the thing was "expectation". I tried to say that when it was me, it was something very different (atleast clearly visible) than when it is my sister in law (who is an Indian). Ofcourse in both cases they are pleased ... but the magnitudes and affect which lasts is something very different. If you read that para again you will see, I tried to describe that. I think Akshara has massive expectations in her back.

This difference of treatment to your son's wife and own daughter is something not uncommon anywhere. It is natural too I feel. In this case Akshara is on the losing end, but in many cases I'm sure (I can naturally recall my case most clearly) the daughter in law is also sometimes benefited. Perhaps again, expectations from the person differs. Human perspective is designed like this. The Indian girl is perhaps expected to behave in certain ways, and her such behavior is taken as granted, however anything other than that might create lots of negativity. However, imagine a western girl (white, Catholic) who did perhaps 10% of the Indian things, and it is something not so expected of her, it makes quite a difference, quite a visible difference changing the course of affections!! (beautifully so ofcourse Big smile, who won't love it?).

In the beginning I would come over to the sitting room and stuff myself closer to my husband, pull my legs up on the sofa and be cosy leaning my head on his shoulders, holding his arm (not to mention I noticed he got shy LOL). It is something natural to me. But when I realized that it was something offensive, and sat at a distance from next day, and putting my legs down when my father in law or mother in law were around ... or sat near my sister in law (not hugging her Big smile), it made a difference. Little things brought me closer to my mother in law. I appreciate things I learnt, and affection need not be displayed among all, is a good thing I want to keep.

However, I was not attacked for it. Imagine had my sister in law did something like this in her in-laws place (where she will need to live in ... another really unusual thing for me), will it be taken easily and a second chance given so simply?

Also no one minds me wearing my shirts. t-shirts ... pants (ofcourse I don't wear shorts in here, I am not so silly Big smile, neither do I wear it back home in public, but in home ofcourse with my husband as the only other guy). But I wonder if people will be ok with my sister in law doing the same in her in laws place.

My calculation says, its all about EXPECTATIONS ... you meet the expectations, no one turns around and looks, they are normal. You go above the expectations, they turn in joy and appreciation. You go below the expectations, the STORM heads towards you ... OuchLOL.



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