Posted: 18 January 2011 at 10:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mili97
Adarsh is a man who follows the sanskaar, riti-riwaz that his father has tattooed in his brain. Realism has little room when idealism has taken over the greater part o f the brain .
Adarsh does say once in a while after a bout of pouting from Komal "you are my wife" while adding a jab or two about her family members at the same time to keep her in check. Just his way of saying he is better than the riffraff family she comes from. He tells her to shut up ever so often. Just proves he is far from being in love with his wife.
Komal on the other hand may gripe about her plight honestly and truthfully but she has been on the road to falling in love with Adarsh in spite of his rudeness towards her. She has been patient, helpful, took care of him after the accident and lived within the means of the Sax family and adjusted their way of life gradually. She is a young girl who lived life on her terms as a free spirit in many ways at the Niwas and now she wants Adarsh to love her and be a husband in every way so she is trying every weapon at her disposal to earn his love.
Adarsh got her bangles but she flung them when she found out he got some for his sister and Mummy too
. He took her out to eat a couple of times. He has never been portrayed as a man falling in love with his wife. Maybe he is the reserved kind of guy who can't express his feelings openly.
I wonder if he is consummating the marriage out of a sense of duty and some guilt for treating Komal the way he has all this time even after Prats accepted Krishna.I fully agree with POV coz you are being factual here. What I am trying to understand is that pushing your spouse to the edge of emotional and physical isolation and then suddenly giving in, does it inspire more loyalty and a feeling of lifelong gratitude.
I'll illustrate by giving you an example. I have a d'ter who is very fond of chocolates and incidently due to the frequent travels of my hubby our fridge is well stocked with it. Whenever my d'ter asks for a chocolate, my usual answer is a no. Consequently she embarks on a pleading spree. As soon she reaches her nth please, I very magnanimously give her a chocolate, with a suitable beatific smile on my face which says, Mummy is nice, isn't she? This serve two purpose, one my d'ter gets to know who is the boss and secondly ,I hope that it teaches her to cherish what she got.
But does this modus operandi work in a marital relationship. In MKAP it is working great but what are its long term ramifications?
Ok, let's look at your example. Did you know...........when a child asks for something and your first response is NO then the child starts to doubt his/her decision making process and therefore over a period of time they start to lose their self-confidence. It's one thing to say you can have a piece of chocoloate but later, then there is a sense of understanding that their choices are right but just with delay in gratifying it.
In Komal's case, she has been told NO every time she attempted to get close to Adarsh. He has openly expressed the reason for marrying her. After several attempts, defeated, rejected she is feeling low self-esteem. She waited till he was back on his feet. Now she is giving it another try, persistent and willing to try anything to get his attention. There is a sense of desperation to get his attention. Adarsh also lacks self esteem at this point. The financial situation at home, their helplessness all weigh on him and he feels responsible for his family's state of affairs. He didn't have good self-esteem to begin with as it is.
Komal is doing what toddlers do. They try to get the parent's attention and when they dont' get it they cry and tantrum if they have to, just to get what they want. Sulking, crying, pouting are weapons at her disposal. She is willing to cook for him, try any which way she can get him to shower a little love for her.
When Adarsh finally relents she is going to make note of what works with him. Next time he ignores her she will go to her bag of tricks that worked.
Adarsh has to learn to work through his problems instead of punishing Komal for his situations and laying the blame on her or her family for the state of situations. Let's see how he handles things the next time there is a crisis after the SR. Will he shut Komal out or will he talk things with her and not treat her like a twit simply bec' she is an unpud. She is capable of making some good decisions, so let's see. Adarsh is soon looking to get Rs. 25,000 (is that a lot?) from a client. Will he take it out on Komal later on when guilt sets in for his underhand dealings later on? Let's wait and see where POPS are taking his character in the coming weeks.
Edited by MERARAI - 18 January 2011 at 10:18pm