Joined: 19 November 2006
Looking Through The Window
Even if I try, I don't remember when or why I started to watch her. It's just that one day, I finally turned my head towards my window and there she was. For a second, I totally forgot what I was doing. Nothing was making sense anymore, except me looking at her. I had never noticed her before, I always have so many things in mind. To be a trainee is certainly not easy, but I can't wait to debut and show everyone what we can do. Watching her is my only time of rest. Everytime I look at her, everything else disappears. It's just me and her. I can't tell you exactly what is so fascinating with her. I just... can't turn away.
[ She ]
Bits of his voice reach me. Even with our windows open, there's too much noise for me to clearly hear him. But I know he's singing. I sometimes take a quick look to see if he's still there. He has so much charisma, he could really be a singer. I don't know how long I stay like this, sitting on my couch, my eyes closed, trying to imagine what kind of voice he has. At last, I fall asleep with a smile.
[ He ]
I wonder what that black curtain hides. What's behind that window ? Maybe dead bodies, since she's a serial killer. Or maybe she has taken someone hostage. Or maybe it's just a black room. I often see her with a camera, she's probably a photographer. So that means she's an artist. I like artists. Especially the pretty ones.
[ She ]
My brother is here for the whole week, I'm so happy. He has taken a week of vacation to come see me. I miss him. He's my only family since I'm not very close to my parents. The only thing they ever gave me is money.
Nupur. Who is he ?
- Who ?
I've just come back from getting food. I take off my coat, put the food on the table and collapse on my couch, next to him. I don't even have enough energy to try to understand what he's talking about.
Your new muse. You have pictures of him everywhere. he answers innocently.
I immediatly turn towards him with a furious look and hit him.
Yah, Samrat ! You went to my room while I wasn't there ?
He looks at me with a smile of victory.
Got you. You know exactly who I'm talking about.
- Don't avoid the question. You know what's inside this room is personnal.
- I'm sorry, I just wanted to see what you were working on. And since you never tell me anything...
I frown then sigh. Like it was my fault. I stand up and go to the kitchen to get the food ready.
Well, it doesn't matter. He's just... someone. Why do you care anyway ?
I hate to talk about my personnal life, even with my brother. And what is there to say anyway ? My neighbor is totally cute and hot, and I take pictures of him whenever I can, without him knowing. Yeah right, that doesn't sound fanatical at all.
Because I'm your brother and I want to know what kind of guy you're dating.
Wait, what ?
We're not dating, you monkey ! I reply, rolling my eyes. I don't even know him.
- So he doesn't know you're taking pictures of him ?
- He doesn't even know I exist.
I hear him laugh softly.
You know that what you're doing is called spying, right ? Or voyeurism.
- No, it's not. I'm just... looking through the window.
[ He ]
There's a man with her. He's been there for a few days now. Does he live with her ? Maybe he's her boyfriend. Or a friend. Or her brother. Or her boyfriend. Why do I care anyway ? Oh, that's right. I like her.
[ She ]
You only like the idea you have of him. This isn't real, Nupur. You don't know anything about this guy.
My brother's words resound in my head. Is he right ? I think I get to know him a little more everytime I watch him. Is Samrat right ? I don't even know his name. Is Samrat right ? I wish I could just speak to him. That way, I would know for certain.
[ He ]
He's not here anymore. Guess he didn't move in with her after all. So he's not her boyfriend ? Oh, shut up, brain.
I don't know her name. I don't know what kind of person she is. But... I think I'll learn more about her if I watch her. Yet... I feel like I've known her ever since I first saw her. She's not a stranger to me. She's the girl across the street. Maybe we'll meet someday ?
What are you thinking about ? I hear Udays's voice.
- Or who ? Uday added.
- What are you talking about ?
- I'm talking about how you silently look at the window with a mysterious smile everytime we take a break.
- Uday is right.
- It's nothing, I'm just... looking through the window.
[ She ]
He saw me. I turned my head to look at him, and he was already looking at me. It lasted a few seconds, but we made eye-contact. I'm sure I saw him smile though. God, he's cute.
[ He ]
She saw me. She suddenly turned her head when I was watching her. Does she know ? I immediatly turned around with a smile and went to my room. God, she's cute.
[ She ]
I see him less and less these days. It's already been three weeks, and still no sign of life. Maybe he moved ? He thought I was a creepy crazy neighbor and decided to leave. I'm so stupid... What was I thinking ? I don't know him. I never have. He was just... the guy across the street.
[ He ]
Finally. We finally debuted, after all these months of hard work. Our first single came out, and we filmed our first music video. we've only received compliments so far, I'm so happy and proud. I hope people will continue to like us and support us. Our fans are amazing. And now I live with the rest of the band. But it's not the same. Now, when I look at the window... she's not here.
[ She ]
It's been five months now. Where is he ? What is he doing ? What is he thinking about ? Is he with a woman ? Is he smiling ? Is he happy ? Shut up, brain. Why do I feel so empty ? It's like... something was missing. I just came back to my life before all that : useless and insignificant. I've become numb and unsatisfied again. I wish I could just see his face one last time... just to make sure it wasn't all just a dream.
I keep looking at the last picture I took of him, hoping it won't be the last. I also keep looking at the window. In vain. There's no one. No light, no sound, no voice. He won't come back.
Guess what ? My brother is here for the week-end. I'm glad to see him, he helps me getting better and forget him. Well... at least for a few hours.
God, Samrat, so noisy... I sigh.
He sticks his tongue out at me. So childlish.
What, so I can't even sing anymore now ?
- Depends on what song you're singing. What's this all 'Come back again' thing ?
- It's just a song I heard on the radio yesterday from a band who debuted few weeks ago. It's really catchy, I'm sure you'd like it.
- Another new band ?
- Don't be like that. This one is really good, trust me. It's called 'Josh'. Go listen to their songs, you'll see.
I shrug. Maybe I will. Music can be the best medicine sometimes, right ?
[ He ]
I've officially become an idol, and I still contrive to think about her. I've so much things in mind I can't even think right anymore, but she's still there. I see her face everytime I close my eyes. I think it's frustration. I still don't know her name, and I probably never will. Was it all just a beautiful dream ?
[ She ]
I can't believe my brother convinced me to go to that Josh live performance. I didn't even take the time to go listen to their songs or see who they were. I just don't care about anything these days. Samrat told me it would be good for me to go out and have fun, even just for a night, so he bought me a ticket. I know he's trying to help me, so I accepted. But god, why do I have to stand all these unbearable fan girls and their screams ? I think I could really kill them right now. Finally, the show begins. Wow, love the choreography. And their voices. They're really all handsome. Especially that one, he's cute. And very charismatic. He kind of reminds of...
[ He ]
She's here. I'm sure it's her. I think I could recognise her anywhere, any time. I can't believe it. Maybe I'm dreaming ? I'm wide awake, though. I try to stay focused, but inside, I feel terribly excited. I finally see her pretty face after all this time. I'm not dreaming. She's here, right in front of me. But the song ends, and I must leave now. I can't do anything. I can't hold onto her. Will she be here next time ? I look at her one last time before leaving the stage for good. Why is she so far away ?
[ She ]
He is a rockstar. And a really good-looking one, with a sweet voice, just like I imagined it. Now that I think about it, it was pretty obvious he was a trainee. Practicing so hard, and disappearing overnight. He didn't move because I was a creepy crazy neighbor. He moved because he debuted as a singer in a band full of talent and handsome boys. It's right in front of my eyes, but I still can't believe it. I finally see his face after so long. Did Samrat know it and buy me this ticket on purpose ? A tear flows on my cheek while I smile. It's a good thing I brought my camera. It's funny, I'm happy and sad at the same time. Because now, he seems even further. And he looks even more like a dream.
[ He ]
She has come to all our live performances. Even hidden behind her camera, I still can see her. Does she know ? That would be why she's been here everytime. She came to see me, she... She cares, right ?
I wish I could just meet her. Sometimes, it sucks to be an idol. I don't even know her name. If only I knew where she lives or... Oh, wait. I know that one.
I'm standing in front of her door. It's official, I'm crazy. Yep, definitely crazy. But I love it. I imagined this moment so many times, I wished to talk to her so many times... And now, I'm here. I finally have a chance to see her and not regret it for the rest of my life. She's closer than ever, and yet... What if she already has a boyfriend ? What if she doesn't remember me ? Or what if she don't want to see me ? What if I have made all that up ? Oh shut up, brain.
I shake my head to clear my mind, deeply breathe in, close my eyes and knock. A few seconds later, the door opens and a man appears. He's pretty tall and wears glasses. I immediatly recognise him. While I try to find my words and hide my disappointment, I see him smile. I smiled in return.
- Hey. I'm...
- I know who you are. I hoped you'd come.
What ? He knows me ? I give him an interrogative look. He just keeps smiling and invites me in, closing the door behind me.
I look around in silence, happy to be on the other side. I imagine her in that little appartment, walking around, taking pictures or watching through the window...
I'm a big fan of Josh, by the way.
- Oh, thank you. I'm sorry to disturb you, I...
- Have a bad timing. She's out in town.
I give him an interrogative look.
You came to see Nupur, right ?
Nupur. I love this name.
I'm Samrat Shergill, her brother.
He laughs at my sigh of relief.
Can I ask you something ?
- Why were you hoping I'd come ?
- You really don't know ?
- She... talked to you about me ?
He smiles again.
She didn't talk about you. She didn't have to.
I frown. I don't understand anything.
I'm not supposed to show you this, but it's an emergency case.
He gives me a sign with his hand to follow him. Wo go in the bedroom and he shows me a door. Isn't it just a closet ? I look at him, not very convinced.
It's her black room. You gotta see this.
I nod then open the door, go in and quickly close it.
I blink once, twice, three times, but still can't believe it. There are pictures of me everywhere. Not only me though : I recognise Delhi's landscapes, and also some photos of Josh's performances. She's really good.
I don't know how long I stay in this room, looking at the photos over and over again. I'm singing, I'm dancing, I'm shirtless, I'm sad, I'm smiling. She even wrote the date on every picture. The last one was from our show last week.
All this time, she was the one watching me. She knew I was there. All this time, she had noticed me. She was there, just accross the street, hoping for me to give her a sign. All this time, we watched each other without knowing. We could have met. We could have talked. I could have asked her her name. We could have met.
I start to think about chance and fate, and I silently thank whatever force that made her and me move here, that made me go here and discover this room. I think it also has a lot to do with her brother.
I get out of the room, and meet him in the little living-room. He looks at me but says nothing. He only smiles.
Mayank. Can I ask you a favor ?
[ She ]
Wow, it feels good to be home. I'm so hungry, I could eat anything.
Nupur, you're back ? I heard my brother from the kitchen.
- Samrat, I'm hungry. Feed me.
- Yah, Nupur. Eating can wait, there's something more urgent.
- What's more urgent than my survival ?
He comes to the living-room and gives me a serious look.
There's someone waiting for you on the rooftop.
I give him a doubtful look.
Samrat, you're less and less funny.
- Yah ! I'm not kidding, you stupid girl. Go to the rooftop. Listen to your brother once, will you ?
Okay, definitely not kidding. I shrug while sighing, then simply nod. I take my coat, put on my shoes then get out of the appartment.
[ He ]
I look away from the sunset and turned around. There she is, a few steps away. She keeps still and quiet, only looking at me. She's cute when she's surprised. Finally, she smiles. She has the most beautiful smile I ever seen. It feels like a dream. Everything disappears around us. It's just me and her.
I walk towards her, trying to think about what I'm gonna say to her. But my mind has gone blank. She's here.
[ She ]
He's here. It's a dream, right ? He can't... actually be here. Why would he be ? He doesn't know me. Yet... he came to my appartment. I bet my brother has something to do with this. Shut up, brain. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. He seems so close now. I can touch him, I can hear him breathing. He's so close...
I don't know how long we stay there, just looking at each other without a word. Finally, I manage to gather my courage. I breathe in, and...
My name is Mayank Sharma. You don't know me, but I think I'm in love with you.
[ He ]
She has the sweetest voice I've ever heard. I smile at her.
My name is Nupur Shergill. And I think I know you pretty well, actually.
She seems a little confused. I laugh, then take her hand. Her skin is so soft.
We have a lot to say to each other.
- Yep, we clearly do.
We laugh. It's so good to hear that.
I'll start then.
I come closer and hug her. She stays still a few seconds, then I feel her hands on my back, and her breath in my neck.
I think I love you too.
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