Joined: 12 May 2010
'You will never be her,' his harsh voice resonated around her, through her.
Had it not been for her helpless attraction towards a man so broken beyond repair, Piya would not be where she was now. A woman lost in the thoughts of a man that would compare her again and again to the dead woman of his dreams. She would forever be compared to a woman she had never met, but the only woman that Abhay had ever cared for.
The very thought sent her body limp from exhaustion. Her very first step into this town would not have had her guess at the turmoil of emotions she was in now. She would not have known, could not have known, that she would become a shell of the person she once was.
He had broken her, something inside of her. The part of her that had loved and was loved, she had given everything to a man that would never once regard her with the same passion she felt for him. Piya had given Abhay her heart and as the monster he was, he had chewed it up and spat it out the same.
'I've only loved her and I will always love her,' his voice again, pounding through her mind, a pulse that just would not die.
'How did it come to this?' she wondered.
He was inhuman and exactly what he claimed to be, a monster. How had she fallen so easily for a man incapable of anything remotely human? How had she let him change her? She was disgusted with herself. She was Piya, confident, uncaring of the world and a woman who wasn't afraid to love. But she had lost herself along the way. How had she let her lose herself?
But how could she blame him when he had told her, in that husky voice of his, every step of the way that she would only burn in his flame. And yet she had followed him, ever the moth, to wherever he led her. She had let herself burn in his anguish and dying heart. She had let herself believe that she could save him. Naive Piya had loved him, and in loving him she had given him the power to break her. But she could not blame Abhay, for she was the one that fell for a man that would never be hers.
Abhay could not put to rest the conscience in him, which in all fairness should have died when he did. His feet crushed the melting snow under their inhuman speed. He had to run, anywhere, as long as it wasn't where she was.
Ever adamant, ever longing, ever beautiful she. Piya had come as a storm in his calmness. She had been everything he wasn't looking forward to in his eternity of an existence. Everything he had longed for, and yet had left him empty. A monster, as he should have been.
She was nowhere to be found during the day, leaving him to suspect that she had stayed home from college. He liked to believe that it was because she was sick, or that Misha had her skip the day for some girl time, anything that would not be because of him.
Yet, he knew better than anyone ever would, that it was because of him. He had seen her break in front of his very eyes, had seen her fall helplessly to him and he abandoned her. Every time she had claimed to not need him he had stuck to her willingly and the one time she poured out her soul aching need, he had walked away.
He had no right to claim anything of hers, he had no right to question why she wasn't at school, if she was sick. He had no right to feel the agony he did when it came to her. No right to question, in a voice only fitting to a concerned boyfriend, where she was and why she hadn't even called to tell him of her lack of presence. He had no right.
He had left her; a decision made in pure consciousness and void of personal emotions.
Abhay could claim all he wanted that leaving her was for her best. That he could not provide the warmth, the life that Piya had always desired. That he could never be the man that she deserved. A man that would always look at her with such longing and passion and never compare her to anyone, because Piya was a woman of her own accord.
Abhay would never be able to tell her that every time he saw her, he felt his heartbreak. That she was the embodiment of the woman he thought was his soul mate. That every time he looked at her, he found himself searching for the ghost of a woman he knew would never be there. Piya did not deserve that, she deserved a man that would look at her and only her. A man that would not, not even for a second, compare her existence to another's.
But he was lying; more to himself than her.
He had long grown past the point of seeing Maithli in her. All he could see was Piya. Every crevice between every new thought, she lurked. She was everywhere around him, within him, teasing him, haunting him. He was far more affected than he led on.
Abhay wanted more than anything to give Piya the life she always wanted. And yet he knew better than anyone he would never be the one to give her that. A life with Abhay would mean a damned eternal existence for Piya.
He would not, could not, ever let her know how far gone he was. Past the point of mere infatuation or affection; she was every breath he took, every thought lingering in his mind, every sensation he felt. She held him, consumed him with her ever brilliant smile. She was the poison in his veins; one he could not rid himself of even if it meant cutting them open and letting them bleed to the point where he could not stand anymore.
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It is really good although I wud say that, it describes the emotional turmoil that Piya and Abhay are facing instead of an OS.
Joined: 27 March 2010
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