Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

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Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

The prestegious WINE CLUB thread #2 -01/16/2010 (Page 73)

prema_ks Goldie
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Joined: 26 August 2010
Posts: 1592

Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:02pm | IP Logged
hey usha  yes acceptance as they are. very valid point 
@bluey was just telling this indirectly how we expect superhuman qualities

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mgdg_2010

bluejalpari Goldie
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Joined: 01 March 2005
Posts: 2008

Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Opti

Originally posted by bluefish



Well said Opti.....but I was saying more in terms of not being able to live without somebody....
See even I dont think abt hubby 24/7 and am mesmerized by Maan character..but I know that Maan is not real, he is fake and my hubby is real..love him and respect him because his good and bad are real.....but if I were to stay away from my hubby i would miss him like hell and think abt him 24/7......coz there wont be a time of day i would not miss him.
Learnt it very practically...coz during my first pregnancy he had to travel a lot for work.....hated it really....hates to let him go when I needed him the most during pregnancy esp while I was alone in US.....but love him enough to let him go because he had a got a good opportunity....dint want him to miss that.....love takes tests like that.....
With a spouse you love and are committed, you love the person through trails, relatives issues, money issues, health issues isnt it......

so our "love" for fantasty Maan is jsut that timepass and amusement, entertainment......

We can be amused and mesmerized by certain people around us...we may like their lively ways but that doesnt mean we can make a life partner out of them...right?


I can relate to this as well.  Spent my entire pregnancy apart from my hubby as we both were working in different cities.  I used to travel every 6 weeks or so to be with him because he could not take leave in his new job. After the fifth month, even that stopped because I was advised not to travel.  When my hubby called up to say that he would not be able to come for one of the festivals (I was nearly 8 months pregnant then) as he was really busy I just broke down and accused him of not loving me enough.  He relented and came for a few days. Even now after more than 15 years of marriage, I miss him when he is not around even for a day.  We went through really trying times last year with my son's illness and our marriage was really tested then as we both were equally stressed and took out our frustration on each other.  But at the end of it I think we came out stronger.  I know that come what may we will be there for each other.


Sounds very true..very real..very sincere....
hope ur son's good now....and hope for every testing time..there is a time of peace and healing..

I heard a proverb once.....the best gift one can give to one's children.....
is to love ur spouse ...lovehim/her well..and let your children see it.
Because thats the safety net....and kids have to learn that.
serialwatcher16 IF-Rockerz
serialwatcher16
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Joined: 18 September 2010
Posts: 5586

Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bluefish

Originally posted by Opti

Originally posted by serialwatcher16


When you live in india, you don't have a choice. Both my hubby and myself had decided that if and when we have kids we were going to be responsible for our kids and not a maid. I can't be made at my hubby bcos he did not force me to quite. it was my decision.

A wise decision in your case.  In mine my mom-in-law has always lived with us since the birth of my son.


But one thing you miss when you quit work is your contact with the outside world and what is happening in it.


Very true.  While my work is tedious, monotonous and sometimes plain boring, it has given me a lot in terms of interaction and learning. Been to places outside the country and met different kinds of people because of it.  Have some great friends at work too.

I saw a movie called Julie & Julia. The younger female in that goes through depression @ 30 but I thought it is relevant for indian women @ 40. from 30-40, life goes through effortlessly. you are bringing up kids, you are looking good, and there is no time to think negative thoughts. But after 40 your kids dependency on you reduces, there is more time available, you meet friends who ahve not made the choices you have and have gone far ahead in their careers and then ......you start thinking. It is then that you need a supportive hubby who says thanks instead of what did you do.


That's a very poignant thought Usha. Glad your hubby appreciates your sacrifice.



usha




Very true..all sacrifices are worth it...if people u scarified for remember and appreciate....
otherwise bahut buralagta hai...par phir bhi one thing Il tell you....whatever sacrifice you make for ur family/..for duty sake....that good will happen to you definitely...

As I said..I also made same decision to quit work and raise kids....but have found lots of appreciation both in and out of home....and when I had to work for a certain 6 months due to some financial issues...the Hiring Company immediately got impressed that I had left my previous job to be at home to care for kids...they didn't hold it against me....they considered me a responsible mom and person...and in 15 days I had a job....
Kar bhala so ho bhala..Iv experienced it...

In India it is still a quitting decision bcos the area which i studied for and specialised in required 20 hour days without any time constraint, there was only a going in time, no going out time. If the guys are working, you work as well. I was good but you can't bring up kids with those schedules. And could not go back bcos of sheer population size of the country. There is always somebody who is willing to put in more hours than you who is as good as you are. 

Anyway for the past 7-8 years have found work in a totally different area but for which i can work from home on a freelance basis. Payment is much less but my hubby calls it my anti-depressant as all the economics i get to read for my work gives me more pleasure than any amount of cooking i do or the things i do for my kids. Get to be called unprofessional at times when i refuse work due to home pressures and sometimes kids also adjust when i lock up my room at home to finish a deadline. But the joke is Ma will always come out of her room in time for Geet. And this forum isn't helping.


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bluejalpari

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bluefish



Communication is a major matter of discussion at my home....its the core of every relation.....
I always used to expect hubby to understand "mere dil ki baat" without me telling him...and he always used to be "how do i know".Assumptions and unfair expectations...we all expect superhuman qualities at times...
now i dont do that anymore...i say what i feel....he feels much better than we are on same page.



It is the opposite for me. I'm very vocal in expressing my feelings but my hubby is not which sometimes frustrates me.  In fact we are the direct opposite of each other and maybe that's why we work but sometimes it can also be a bone of contention when the differences get too pronounced.

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bluejalpariprema_ksmgdg_2010

prema_ks Goldie
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Posts: 1592

Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by muniza75

@ Prema - Exactly - COmmunication has big part in every relation, no need of assumptions....I seriously hate people who just listen one side, if you are great friend or person go and talke with both personally, not just listen 1 person, and come up with your statement....

Anyways any relation need trust, understanding and loyalty, resect and communication...

In my relation the communication has biggest part..My hubby always come and tell me every single thing, which other person tell him about me....He never assume things...Thats i liked about him, and he is very supporting, thats the reason i am still with him...We have differences, which any indivdual have, but the most important things is he hardly gave attention to anyones word, and support me alot....





Muniza
I am seeing most of the couples here don't have proper communication bt them and always depends some body else for the advice and making the life misery.

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mgdg_2010Infinitedreams

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bluefish

Originally posted by mgdg_2010

Originally posted by prema_ks

hello ren,
where are you?
in my case i don't know how much we love each other, but we are great friends.


i'm here dear...
just seeing ur discusion ...
not commenting...
i'm actually will not hav a take on this question.....
i don't hav really understand till now what luv is......


> Ren? you dont know what love is?
yeh kya baat hai bhai...

jara explain to karo
no yaar not like that i don't know...Confused
i think i hav sum deformity in meShocked....lolLOL
luv is a very wide  & elaborate word.....
we hav luv for our....
KHUDA...
parents...
spouse...
kids...
frnds...
bro...sis..
even for fiction characters....
so can i define luv in few words for all of them...
it's meaning is different with relation i think......



Edited by mgdg_2010 - 16 January 2011 at 10:13pm

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bluejalpariprema_ks

prema_ks Goldie
prema_ks
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Joined: 26 August 2010
Posts: 1592

Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Opti

Originally posted by bluefish



Communication is a major matter of discussion at my home....its the core of every relation.....
I always used to expect hubby to understand "mere dil ki baat" without me telling him...and he always used to be "how do i know".Assumptions and unfair expectations...we all expect superhuman qualities at times...
now i dont do that anymore...i say what i feel....he feels much better than we are on same page.



It is the opposite for me. I'm very vocal in expressing my feelings but my hubby is not which sometimes frustrates me.  In fact we are the direct opposite of each other and maybe that's why we work but sometimes it can also be a bone of contention when the differences get too pronounced.
Same in my case opti. my home i am the one who express always. My husband never says what's he is thinking. some times it's quite irritating.

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bluejalparimgdg_2010

bluejalpari Goldie
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Joined: 01 March 2005
Posts: 2008

Posted: 16 January 2011 at 10:10pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialwatcher16

Originally posted by bluefish

Originally posted by Opti

Originally posted by serialwatcher16


When you live in india, you don't have a choice. Both my hubby and myself had decided that if and when we have kids we were going to be responsible for our kids and not a maid. I can't be made at my hubby bcos he did not force me to quite. it was my decision.

A wise decision in your case.  In mine my mom-in-law has always lived with us since the birth of my son.


But one thing you miss when you quit work is your contact with the outside world and what is happening in it.


Very true.  While my work is tedious, monotonous and sometimes plain boring, it has given me a lot in terms of interaction and learning. Been to places outside the country and met different kinds of people because of it.  Have some great friends at work too.

I saw a movie called Julie & Julia. The younger female in that goes through depression @ 30 but I thought it is relevant for indian women @ 40. from 30-40, life goes through effortlessly. you are bringing up kids, you are looking good, and there is no time to think negative thoughts. But after 40 your kids dependency on you reduces, there is more time available, you meet friends who ahve not made the choices you have and have gone far ahead in their careers and then ......you start thinking. It is then that you need a supportive hubby who says thanks instead of what did you do.


That's a very poignant thought Usha. Glad your hubby appreciates your sacrifice.



usha




Very true..all sacrifices are worth it...if people u scarified for remember and appreciate....
otherwise bahut buralagta hai...par phir bhi one thing Il tell you....whatever sacrifice you make for ur family/..for duty sake....that good will happen to you definitely...

As I said..I also made same decision to quit work and raise kids....but have found lots of appreciation both in and out of home....and when I had to work for a certain 6 months due to some financial issues...the Hiring Company immediately got impressed that I had left my previous job to be at home to care for kids...they didn't hold it against me....they considered me a responsible mom and person...and in 15 days I had a job....
Kar bhala so ho bhala..Iv experienced it...

In India it is still a quitting decision bcos the area which i studied for and specialised in required 20 hour days without any time constraint, there was only a going in time, no going out time. If the guys are working, you work as well. I was good but you can't bring up kids with those schedules. And could not go back bcos of sheer population size of the country. There is always somebody who is willing to put in more hours than you who is as good as you are. 

Anyway for the past 7-8 years have found work in a totally different area but for which i can work from home on a freelance basis. Payment is much less but my hubby calls it my anti-depressant as all the economics i get to read for my work gives me more pleasure than any amount of cooking i do or the things i do for my kids. Get to be called unprofessional at times when i refuse work due to home pressures and sometimes kids also adjust when i lock up my room at home to finish a deadline. But the joke is Ma will always come out of her room in time for Geet. And this forum isn't helping.




LOL at that line in red

And yes..very hard to quit and take up something else..I now am in the phase of having to decide what to do next..coz im software professional and cant just keep taking breaks..this industry moves very fast......
Some people think im lazy to not manage a 10-12 hour work schdule , with commute and kids and working and studying husband....I feel its my prerogative to give my best to my small sons now...rather than being busy now and and then be tired and hagard when they grow up..

Yep...my son asks me that..why do you always watch GEET...why don't you have other favourites...:)

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mgdg_2010

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