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Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

The prestegious WINE CLUB thread #2 -01/16/2010 (Page 65)

serialwatcher16 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
@ bluey, opti, sathya - agree 100%

my husband gets really imaptient and tells me in his organisation he was talking strategy with a young trainees  sitting in front of him. he is continuously texting with a girl on the mobile, He has had a love marriage a year back and then talking about confusion to my hubby. He told me i felt like telling the guy to go and having his head examined. I think the media, TV is putting a lot of pressure on all these kids, what else can you call them 23-24 years, earning great salaries and then investing them time like this.

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mgdg_2010

bluejalpari Goldie
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:21pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Opti

Originally posted by SATHYA88



Hi BlueyHug well said and totally agree.
I think people can be in love with two people, it depends on what one of the two relationship they want to work on and which is more important.  I also think when two people spend alot of time with each other whether you mean it to happen or not ,feeling come forth, not necessary lovey dovey feeling but some feeling whether it is admiration,love,respect,happiness,etc.  Does that make sense?  Also I think it is very natural to compare the two people who you are with the most, for example, I have my husband and my boss, I am around my boss 10 hrs a day working one on one(he is doctor/i am nurse) I don't love him in that sense but I do respect him and sometimes I tell my husband he did this, why can't u, etc.LOLBut i think that is human nature.Just POV!!


I can relate to that.  Admiration does not translate into love.  What one feels for a boss/colleague and what she/he feels for her/his spouse can be quite different.  As you said, it depends what you really want in life.  No relationship is a bed of roses.  Once the first flush of romance wears off with time, you are faced with hard realities. The test of a good relationship comes in times of struggle and hardship.


Couples go through a lot - stress at work, personal health or health of their spouses/children, financial difficulties, problems from relatives etc.  So sometimes a free unencumbered relationship may sound enticing as one is able to break away from the reality and live in fantasy. The relationship may be strictly platonic but it gives a temporary respite from the grind of everyday life. As long as it stays this way things are fine. But sometimes one takes this seriously and lets go of what one has. There comes the problem because the person who one is enamoured with may not be real once one gets closer. Dynamics of human relationship is complex. One can be an excellent boss/colleague but the same person can be a lousy spouse. 

So what I am trying to say is that cherish what you have, even if it is not perfect for nothing in life is really perfect. You can always work towards perfection though. That is the thrill of life's journey.     


ClapClapClap
Very well said.......a relationship with no strings attached....coffee. movie dinenr and back home..sounds lovely....and when u marry the same person....he may not like the movie u like, the cofe you make and real life kicks in......
im not saying real life is bad...real life is good very good..good to know whatever happens ur spouse will be home for dinner ...no matter how fat u get...he loves you....no matter ur hair is greying , he adores u and finds u beautiful, no matter some people in the world dont like u...for him u r rocking..but its much differnt from a no strings attached relation...



Clap

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mgdg_2010

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:27pm | IP Logged
Hi Usha, loved your takes.  Admire you for giving up your career for your kids. Your kids are lucky.  I'm guilty of not giving my son enough time as I get busy at work and too fagged out at home. Hope to rectify this soon.

Yes, some youngsters and some not so young fail to understand relationships and prioritize their lives. Life is more difficult for people in the entertainment industry, where the temptations are strong.  It is one reason why I admire GC for sticking to his gal for so long. People keep comparing him with SRK and wonder why he cannot be like him - talk less and show more in action but no two individuals are alike. The guy was always wearing his heart on the sleeve. People might find that foolish and irritating but then that is the man he is. I personally find him fairly grounded for he has not let success get to his head.  I may like Maan more than GC but then Maan is fantasy and not reality. 

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serialwatcher16 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Opti

Originally posted by mehraan


HI  opti from den.....Tongue nice 2 meet u hear...love n read ur annalysis thre...basically stalking the denLOL
i hve weight issues...i used 2 enjoy the attention n compliments b4 bt not since last yr...im trying hard  so watever im gettg these days im hvng it...even junk is not working...LOL i wnt 2 luk like a woman not a gal...
2 hit 40 ...11 yrs 2 go... bt nevertless i will still try
u kno i weight till last yr 48 n tis yr i put on 50 only 2 kgs n agn it dropped bac ..i keep on fluctuating

Thanks mehran but can you drop the suffix 'from den'? Makes me sound like some animal. As to my weight, I've always been around 45-46 kgs for more than two decades. I used to get fed up of people asking me why am I so thin. You dont see people ask fat people why are they so fat for it is considered offensive. Then why are thin people subjected to such questions, would be my lament.  Once I was in the US and couldnt find any clothese fitting me in the woemn's section. Had to go to the girls section and it was embarrassing to say the least.

The maximum weight I touched was when I was carrying. Reached the mid 50s then but returned back to my usual weight in less than a year.  I eat all the fried food and carbs in the world and do no exercises but nothing really worked. My hubby always jokes that he married me thinking I will become like my mom (who is fat) at some point. He likes plump women I guess.

Now I am a little over 50 which is OK because I am only 5ft 1inch.    My hubby also feels I look better now than I did when he married me.

hi meher, 
i started with 45 kgs when i got married. i am 5 ft 4 ". eevrybody said i was too thin. After my first kid went upto and stabilised at 60 kgs. Did not look bad and was happy. After my second kid went upto 70 and just could not reduce. Tried everything, gymming, dieting and did not reduce even 250 gms.  

My 40th birthday present was a knee injury due to bad gymming routine and have had to give up gymming as well. Doctor says i ahve to reduce weight, otherwise it is bad for the knee. The only solution is walking. Walking for 45 minutes a day, just simple walking and a reasonable diet will work wonders. Losing the first 2-3 kilos will be the hardest but once your BMR rises, you will reduce. 

The doc actually made me write out in a diary what i eat and drink in a day even if it is a glass of water or a packet of bhujia in one go. 

i eat everything but have cut sweets completely and no aerated stuff which i love coke, sprite etc.
Dieting does not mean cutting food, it means eating every 3 hours so that the body knows it is being fed and does not convert even the non-fat food into fat.

hope the above helps.

usha

 

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bluejalparimgdg_2010

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
Very serious discussion going on guys...You can't love 2 person at a time....

@ Vrushu - Ofcourse it is betrayal, but seriously it depends....I am kind of confuse here, cause i have seen men's whom has 2 wife, and justice with both, and both wife are happy with each other as well, so i am thinking how it is possible? Is it love or just the relation that he has maintained?




Muniza

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mgdg_2010

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by muniza75

Very serious discussion going on guys...You can't love 2 person at a time....

@ Vrushu - Ofcourse it is betrayal, but seriously it depends....I am kind of confuse here, cause i have seen men's whom has 2 wife, and justice with both, and both wife are happy with each other as well, so i am thinking how it is possible? Is it love or just the relation that he has maintained?




Muniza
i think he is a good in maintenance...LOL
ya very serious discussions....Shocked

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Infinitedreams

bluejalpari Goldie
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Opti

Originally posted by bluefish



Love ur answer too and ur practical point of view....we all work with people other than out spouse and spend so much time...so some sort of respect  and trust in the working relation come up of course.....
SO i prefer with call if trust and team spirit in working relation........but love is like if you cant spend the day without seeing that person, without thinking about that person....
what do u think...


I don't think love is thinking about a person constantly. That sounds more like infactuation which may or may not develop into love.  I may love my hubby but may not be thinking of him 24/7 but instead be thinking of the fictional Maan. Do I love my hubby less and Maan more? Certainly not.  I know I just have this huge crush on a fantasy man and that is it.  Love is wanting to be with that person through thick and thin, it is accepting that person for what he/she is. All this requires a lot of work as Usha said.



Well said Opti.....but I was saying more in terms of not being able to live without somebody....
See even I dont think abt hubby 24/7 and am mesmerized by Maan character..but I know that Maan is not real, he is fake and my hubby is real..love him and respect him because his good and bad are real.....but if I were to stay away from my hubby i would miss him like hell and think abt him 24/7......coz there wont be a time of day i would not miss him.
Learnt it very practically...coz during my first pregnancy he had to travel a lot for work.....hated it really....hates to let him go when I needed him the most during pregnancy esp while I was alone in US.....but love him enough to let him go because he had a got a good opportunity....dint want him to miss that.....love takes tests like that.....
With a spouse you love and are committed, you love the person through trails, relatives issues, money issues, health issues isnt it......

so our "love" for fantasty Maan is jsut that timepass and amusement, entertainment......

We can be amused and mesmerized by certain people around us...we may like their lively ways but that doesnt mean we can make a life partner out of them...right?


Edited by bluefish - 16 January 2011 at 8:40pm
serialwatcher16 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Opti

Hi Usha, loved your takes.  Admire you for giving up your career for your kids. Your kids are lucky.  I'm guilty of not giving my son enough time as I get busy at work and too fagged out at home. Hope to rectify this soon.

Yes, some youngsters and some not so young fail to understand relationships and prioritize their lives. Life is more difficult for people in the entertainment industry, where the temptations are strong.  It is one reason why I admire GC for sticking to his gal for so long. People keep comparing him with SRK and wonder why he cannot be like him - talk less and show more in action but no two individuals are alike. The guy was always wearing his heart on the sleeve. People might find that foolish and irritating but then that is the man he is. I personally find him fairly grounded for he has not let success get to his head.  I may like Maan more than GC but then Maan is fantasy and not reality. 

When you live in india, you don't have a choice. Both my hubby and myself had decided that if and when we have kids we were going to be responsible for our kids and not a maid. I can't be made at my hubby bcos he did not force me to quite. it was my decision. 

When we went for school interviews for my first kid, ya, in delhi the parents used to be interviewed for giving a kid school admission, i was asked, why did u quit your job. I told the principal, it was a case of sheer economics. my hubby would have been happy to quit his job and taken care of the kid and done a better job of it but he earned more and so the decision became simpler. even today i don't consider myself indispendable. If and when i want a break my hubby can take care of both of the kids. he won't do it my way, he will just do it his way. He will feed them cheese sandwiches and ensure they are not hungry. So that is okay.

But one thing you miss when you quit work is your contact with the outside world and what is happening in it. 

I saw a movie called Julie & Julia. The younger female in that goes through depression @ 30 but I thought it is relevant for indian women @ 40. from 30-40, life goes through effortlessly. you are bringing up kids, you are looking good, and there is no time to think negative thoughts. But after 40 your kids dependency on you reduces, there is more time available, you meet friends who ahve not made the choices you have and have gone far ahead in their careers and then ......you start thinking. It is then that you need a supportive hubby who says thanks instead of what did you do.

usha


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