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The prestegious WINE CLUB thread #2 -01/16/2010 (Page 64)

Opti IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by SATHYA88



Hi BlueyHug well said and totally agree.
I think people can be in love with two people, it depends on what one of the two relationship they want to work on and which is more important.  I also think when two people spend alot of time with each other whether you mean it to happen or not ,feeling come forth, not necessary lovey dovey feeling but some feeling whether it is admiration,love,respect,happiness,etc.  Does that make sense?  Also I think it is very natural to compare the two people who you are with the most, for example, I have my husband and my boss, I am around my boss 10 hrs a day working one on one(he is doctor/i am nurse) I don't love him in that sense but I do respect him and sometimes I tell my husband he did this, why can't u, etc.LOLBut i think that is human nature.Just POV!!


I can relate to that.  Admiration does not translate into love.  What one feels for a boss/colleague and what she/he feels for her/his spouse can be quite different.  As you said, it depends what you really want in life.  No relationship is a bed of roses.  Once the first flush of romance wears off with time, you are faced with hard realities. The test of a good relationship comes in times of struggle and hardship.


Couples go through a lot - stress at work, personal health or health of their spouses/children, financial difficulties, problems from relatives etc.  So sometimes a free unencumbered relationship may sound enticing as one is able to break away from the reality and live in fantasy. The relationship may be strictly platonic but it gives a temporary respite from the grind of everyday life. As long as it stays this way things are fine. But sometimes one takes this seriously and lets go of what one has. There comes the problem because the person who one is enamoured with may not be real once one gets closer. Dynamics of human relationship is complex. One can be an excellent boss/colleague but the same person can be a lousy spouse. 

So what I am trying to say is that cherish what you have, even if it is not perfect for nothing in life is really perfect. You can always work towards perfection though. That is the thrill of life's journey.     


Edited by Opti - 16 January 2011 at 8:07pm

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bluejalparimgdg_2010

serialwatcher16 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -RushTrip-

yes... being in love with one does not mean you cannot love another at the same time

the only thing that actually stops one from being in love with 2 people at the same time and  i dont put a measure on love so i donno the equality..

ethics
society
culture
set norms

otherwise one would even go to the extent of being involved with 2 people at the same time

now the difference is what are the boundaries set by you and set for you...and also do the same apply to the other person/s

now the question remains...is being in love with 2 people betrayal?

if so again by which standards?

hi roopa (sathya) i am still here. eating my breakfast. so am still here.

and Vrush, it is how you define love. Love does not happen in one day. You have to work at love as well. It happens slowly and it is love only when it is there for the long haul and only when you have come a few years away, you can look back and say whether it was love or not. Otherwise it is just that......chemistry........combustion.......

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bluejalpariInfinitedreams

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by SATHYA88

Originally posted by bluefish

Hi Opti, Shaz,Mehraan, Roopa and others.....kya hot discussion chal raha hai....been catching up

Good question Mehraan...and good anser Opti......
and yes...forum rules dont allow us to talk too much about GURTI personal life...just to keep in mind

but yes we can talk about strength of a marriage, relationships, life and stuff in general terms...
since we all are married boat...and are in time tested relations.....

 persoannly for Mehraan;s question...if two people are making all efforts tomake thier relationship work and keep it lively...then no question arises of falling for someone else...
love can only take you some distance in the journey..commitment and effort will take the rest of the way.Love without commitment or effort is in reality a waste right....?

Anyway leaving a new question for you guys...

Can a person be in love with two people at a time? We love some, like some , are friends with some, etc etc...
So can a person be equally in love with two people( of the opposite gender of course....please dont go tangent :)Tongue)?
Hi BlueyHug well said and totally agree.
I think people can be in love with two people, it depends on what one of the two relationship they want to work on and which is more important.  I also think when two people spend alot of time with each other whether you mean it to happen or not ,feeling come forth, not necessary lovey dovey feeling but some feeling whether it is admiration,love,respect,happiness,etc.  Does that make sense?  Also I think it is very natural to compare the two people who you are with the most, for example, I have my husband and my boss, I am around my boss 10 hrs a day working one on one(he is doctor/i am nurse) I don't love him in that sense but I do respect him and sometimes I tell my husband he did this, why can't u, etc.LOLBut i think that is human nature.Just POV!!


Love ur answer too and ur practical point of view....we all work with people other than out spouse and spend so much time...so some sort of respect  and trust in the working relation come up of course.....
SO i prefer with call if trust and team spirit in working relation........but love is like if you cant spend the day without seeing that person, without thinking about that person....
what do u think...

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Infinitedreams

serialwatcher16 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:10pm | IP Logged

my mil has 3 daughters and she told me only after 20 years of marriage can you tell whether it was a good marriage or not and whether it was love or not. She is now 80 years old.

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mgdg_2010Infinitedreams

bluejalpari Goldie
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:12pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialwatcher16

Originally posted by -RushTrip-

yes... being in love with one does not mean you cannot love another at the same time

the only thing that actually stops one from being in love with 2 people at the same time and  i dont put a measure on love so i donno the equality..

ethics
society
culture
set norms

otherwise one would even go to the extent of being involved with 2 people at the same time

now the difference is what are the boundaries set by you and set for you...and also do the same apply to the other person/s

now the question remains...is being in love with 2 people betrayal?

if so again by which standards?

hi roopa (sathya) i am still here. eating my breakfast. so am still here.

and Vrush, it is how you define love. Love does not happen in one day. You have to work at love as well. It happens slowly and it is love only when it is there for the long haul and only when you have come a few years away, you can look back and say whether it was love or not. Otherwise it is just that......chemistry........combustion.......



Very apt thinking Rushtrip..love ur answer because thats the direction I was going....betrayal by what standards...is it betrayal to think of someone but not touch....what is the parameters....
I know if i go in this sirection....im thinking like an art film director..:)

And Serialwatcher....love ur chemistry and combustion...because...if love is not for long haul, no commitment, then thats what will happen...chemistry, combustion, burning, and dried cinders in the wastebasked, tears, mess...utter waste of emotions ...you know what I mean....I think chemistry and combustions are what make one night stands....but we all know that long term relations are not made that way....


Edited by bluefish - 16 January 2011 at 8:12pm

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Infinitedreams

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
ooo vrush i luv ur explanation.....
but for me ...
bluey....
it is mere impossible.....
to be in luv with two at a time....
for one it'll be love.......
& for other i say it is desire......may be mental or physical.....


Edited by mgdg_2010 - 16 January 2011 at 8:20pm

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Infinitedreams

bluejalpari Goldie
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by serialwatcher16


my mil has 3 daughters and she told me only after 20 years of marriage can you tell whether it was a good marriage or not and whether it was love or not. She is now 80 years old.


Wise MIL......
Opti IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 8:14pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bluefish



Love ur answer too and ur practical point of view....we all work with people other than out spouse and spend so much time...so some sort of respect  and trust in the working relation come up of course.....
SO i prefer with call if trust and team spirit in working relation........but love is like if you cant spend the day without seeing that person, without thinking about that person....
what do u think...


I don't think love is thinking about a person constantly. That sounds more like infactuation which may or may not develop into love.  I may love my hubby but may not be thinking of him 24/7 but instead be thinking of the fictional Maan. Do I love my hubby less and Maan more? Certainly not.  I know I just have this huge crush on a fantasy man and that is it.  Love is wanting to be with that person through thick and thin, it is accepting that person for what he/she is. All this requires a lot of work as Usha said.

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bluejalpariInfinitedreams

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