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What does marriage mean to you?

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Posted: 15 January 2011 at 4:13pm | IP Logged
Hey Guys,
 
So yeah.....was just wondering....what exactly does marriage mean to you guys? What are the most important ideals a wife and husband should exhibit towards each other, and what are the duties and responsibilities of each?
 
Was your impression about marriage different before you were introduced to our Hindu puranas/mythos? If so, how have our epics changed your ideal about Vivah?
 
And....the most fun question for all of you out thereWink....what qualities constitute your ideal partner? What kind of personality is a definite 'no no' for you and what is most necessary?
 
Have fun!Heart
 
-Janu

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Posted: 15 January 2011 at 9:04pm | IP Logged
Marriage means being best friends with someone their whole life. Like mom n dad. SmileOf all the mytho shows, I think Shri Ram and Sitaji are the best examples of the perfect man and wife.Star A definite no no in marriage would be to think that your spouse is inferior to you. That should not happen.Angry

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 7:24am | IP Logged
just like to say  its a life long bond .. i believe what important is to love trust value and respect ur relationship .
these days ppl are giving more imp to there career .. its is imp i agree but not then ur relationship and family






Edited by ...PARiNA... - 16 January 2011 at 7:31am

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Posted: 16 January 2011 at 6:30pm | IP Logged

Awesome topic Janu! Clap

What does marriage mean to me...this is a good question to ponder on!

For me marriage is the bonding of two people, wherein they cease to be individual souls and merge as one unit. Wow that seems awfully cheesy doesn't it? LOL But think about it. When you get married to someone, you make a life together that is reflective of each other...the traditions and religious principles you follow, the activities you do, the foods you eat, even down to the home itself. Not to say that one looses their individuality in a marriage. But to me there's less 'me' and much more 'us'! Embarrassed

Marriage is also the bonding of two families because you not only become linked to your partner but to his/her family as well.

Like most of you said your partner becomes your best friend, the person that (with God as your witness) you promise to love, trust, be faithful to all of this unconditionally; the person you whom you share your joys & sorrows, pains & pleasures, strengths & weaknesses et al. Also the person that whenever he/she threads on the wrong path you don't desert them but do everything you can to lead them the right way (like Mandodariji always trying to shed the light to Ravana).

Watching mytho shows, especially Ramayana, has taught me the real meaning of 'Vivaah'. Shri Ram and Sita Maiyya gave us the most perfect example ever. Shri Ram gave his vow of faithfulness, loved, protected and honored his wife. Sita Maiyya worshiped her husband, followed wherever he went and gave up everything to keep his honor in tact. Where else can we find such an example...especially in this Kaliyuga age? There are also other great examples like Mandodariji as mentioned.

The qualities I would like my future husband to have?! Kehne mein sharm aati hai! Embarrassed Lol j/k. LOL Most necessary is I want my husband to be a devotee of God, like myself. He should be truthful (in words and deeds), hardworking (to make up for my laziness LOL), kind, loving, romantic and last but not the least someone who can make me laugh! Big smile All in all a respectable man who is worthy! What dreams I have huh?! Tongue

For the 'no no' part there are lot's but two definitely certain ones are unfaithfulness and abusiveness. I could never ever tolerate a husband who is unfaithful to me. It just won't do! For me, if you find yourself in love with someone else then end things with me before going with that person and if it's just a one time thing then is it worth the pain that an affair is going to cause? Once that thread of trust has been snapped there is no mending it! As for the other quality, who would want a husband that is abusive? Whether physically or mentally abuse is something I can't stand and can never forgive! And it's so prevalent in our society nowadays that it has become the norm...this is one of the things that has made me kinda shy away from marriage. Unhappy



Edited by Vedo - 17 February 2011 at 9:11am

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Posted: 14 February 2011 at 12:30pm | IP Logged
Not to intrude on anyone's privacy (full disclosure: I'm married!), but the answers people provide here would be contextual only in case their marital status was known, otherwise, for all one knows, it would just be whistling in the wind LOL

Anyway, I was curious about one thing.  In the context of laws being voted on in various states in the US on constitutionally defining marriage as being b/w 'a man & a woman', does anybody know anywhere in Hindu scriptures - Vedas for example, whether this restriction is explicitly stated?  I  mean, is a marriage religiously (not legally, just religiously) valid only if you have one male & one female?  If 2 men, or 2 women, took the pheras, would that be religiously recognized as a marriage, as per the scriptures?  Anyone know?

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Posted: 14 February 2011 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
^^ So is the oft-asked slambook question "what are your views on death" unless ghosts have IF accounts ROFL Then again, this forum's centered on Hindu thought, so we've all been married, dead, and God only knows what else countless times already, haven't we Tongue Ok enough cheesiness for the day - it's been a weird one, bear with me... as for the other question, I too was once curious about that and came across some verrrryyyyy strong anti- passages in the Manu Smriti. So strong that I didn't feel like reading them very deeply and consequentially don't remember Ermm But if you're interested in the topic, then that's the place to look. 

Edited by lola610 - 14 February 2011 at 6:59pm

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Posted: 14 February 2011 at 12:50pm | IP Logged
Would such rules be in the smritis, or the Vedas?  The former is not divinely inspired, but the latter is.  Hence, whatever discomfort one has w/ the former can be ignored, since it's not the word of Gods, as the Vedas are.

I was somewhat gingerly about asking this question, but you just made me a lot less shy about asking it than I initially was LOL

Anyway, I liked the other part of your answer LOL


Edited by _Vrish_ - 14 February 2011 at 12:51pm
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Posted: 14 February 2011 at 1:32pm | IP Logged
I too am about a bit dubious about going to the Manu Smriti because some passages, like Lola said, are a bit - er -  "uncomfortable" to say the list, like the whole passage about women having to do Sati, the things they have to undergo when they become widows, etc. Vedas and Upanishads in my opinion are the best sources for scriptures since they are believed to be the direct word of God.

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