Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee


Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

#Devils Den# Main Nikli GHADI Leke

BheegiBasanti IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 06 October 2005
Posts: 11062

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:15am | IP Logged
Devils, put your hands together
And welcome Vrushali the storyteller!
She is one of this forum's most active members
And one heck of a fan fiction writer!

The theme of today's den is the story and screenplay work we've seen in the series.
While Vrush will get us going with look back at the story and screenplay work so far, I will follow with my two chawannis worth of thoughts on the future!

In the spirit of the debate we all love, I merely ask that you share your thoughts on what we have said, what worked for you in the story or screenplay, what did not and most importantly your story suggestions!

Welcome Vrush! Hug

Edited by darlunia - 15 January 2011 at 11:59am

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-RushTrip- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 19 May 2009
Posts: 9024

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:15am | IP Logged

Hi all I am RushTrip ' Vrushali, started writing on this forum after inspiration from Faz  Maybe-just.

Thank you all for giving me an opportunity to speak on the theme of Story/Screenplay. Honored to have been invited to write on the theme. Hope you all like it. It is long..but then I am talking about 9 month old baby.

I have segmented the story/screenplay in track wise and what probably hit me in those tracks.

The Hoshiarpur track

The birth of a story that did sound clichd to start with, an NRI man, no background check, rushed wedding. All a recipe for a dupe for a family that does not believe a girl child to be worthy enough to be given a voice, independence or decision making capabilities.

But the story took a turn, the girl bumped into an anti-social who does fulfill his social responsibilities albeit reluctantly. He saved her but did not become her saviour. He helped her but did not want to. He did not fight her battles but gave her weapons to fight her own battles.

That was the story and the screenplay complimented it like a hand in glove. Perfection in terms of expressions, characterization. Build up mystery around the male protagonist and give a spine to the female protagonist with each and every meeting they have. It was probably the best part of the serial.

Lucid and with depth.

The first meeting with Dev for Geet was a warning of sorts, she met him on terrace and a thorn pricked her. What symbolism to portray that their relationship will only bring pain to her and he will be the thorn in the side that will mar every relation she has henceforth. That was the depth the screenplay displayed. Those were the nuances that made one deeply entrenched into the Serial.

The intrigue, the drama all culminated into a mix that was irresistible. Bravo for the story and screenplay at the time.

I do not have any knowledge about TRP and its workings so I shall refrain from talking about it.

The Hoshiarpur Track ended with the girl becoming estranged from her family. The first phase of the story is thus complete. Now her journey of becoming estranged from other relationships that she may develop is pursued, at least I believe that must have been the initial premise of the next track, the office track, but it lost the premise somewhere down the line and today we see all characters run around like headless chicken.

The Office track

Now again, the story had taken a turn where she bumps into the very man who had given each vertebrae that made her stand on her feet. She though eternally grateful was antagonistic towards any "help" that he did provide. Again a classic case of opposites attract.

The effervescent natured girl, yes the glimpse of her was shown in the first shot of the serial where she starts an impromptu jig on the beat of dhol but was suppressed in front of her brother and grandfather.

Here, she explores her nature, new relationships be it Mr Mirchandani or Pinky. A friend and a father figure. Nice mix yet again.

The brushes with the boss only brings her closer but here the track takes a turn once the chemistry between the lead pair onscreen not only gave the thus far elusive TRPs but also making of a much talked about pair in the whole telly world. It was the birth of the new chemistry that threatened to crack the screen. The golden goose was discovered.

Alas, the chemistry became the premise and the story and screenplay thus were sacrificed at the altar of chemistry. Now we got moments, they soon became repetitive yet the pair did make the OMG crowd swoon. I include myself here as well though I would have expected story to go forward.

The office track gave such some fantastic moments

Mr Chopra the cupid

Rahul the fool

Kurbaan Hua the high point in Maan and Geet's angry passionate interaction.

Well it seems the story did move'of sorts

The Outhouse track

 Change of scenario if not the scenes. The dupattas, the eye locks, chin lifts, catch and fall ( used like thunder and lightning). Though few things did come out here to add to the story and screeplay tried to do justice to these characters, well almost.

-          Sameera ' the reason for his "Angry Young Man" Persona'

-          Pari ' The reason for Geet's jealousy

-          Rasika rathod ' The reason for Maan admitting Geet's importance to him.

Maan Singh Khurana, for the first time manhandled Geet.

Maan Singh Khurana for the first time felt divinity in Geet's eyes at the Durgah

Maan Singh Khurana for the first time got drunk and did raada!

The Hoshiarpur revisited

The Rasika Rathod case got them back to Hoshiarpur, once again the old setting brought to light what connection they have and his admittance of her importance in his life.

Birth of friendship between them. Nice.



Now this was a long time coming but the cash cow was to be blamed for the dealy. It seemed like a proverbial end of an era should the protagonists confess their feelings so wow! loads of I love yous not in words but in action. More eyelocks, more moments, more oh come off it and kiss will ya! ( for me at least)

Engagement - a fake one, a real one, one in front of the elements and then in front of the people.

Suddenly the writers seemed to be in a hurry for something. They wanted to clear the air and that too in a dramatic way. But what happened. The lead pair fell ill, so did the director and the malaria bug seem to have hit the story.

The track changed, the happy time turned into one morose time. The confrontation with Dev though impactful was rushed over and done with in a day. I wonder why.

Suddenly Dev/NT ended up in Jail and then all hell broke loose.

The story lost, the plot lost, the whole GHSP team seemed lost. The culprits came out scot free with some flimsy excuse. Wow.

The Meera track though interesting was cut short too. Even shorter and more mind boggling was the Jay track. By that time the loyal viewers were only doing one thing wait and watch. The logic it seemed had become totally parayee from the serial.

The screenplay and story was floundering and people became sympathetic watchers rather than the enthralled ones. They awaited the Hero's return from illness and even after the return the story looked as pale as the Actor. The best moment in this track was the hospital hug!

The story took a twist and as we say

WE Twist we twist'the story brought in some new twists.

Paint fell on the story and blotted it completely track

We had Jay giving Geet the company he owned to run. Mr Khurana had to buy it and bring 3 monkeys into KC. Wow. That track was amazing. No logic. A pregnant lady in paint factory' worse crimes have been done perhaps.

The track had a mini separation, dare I say the word separation but the worst thing that had happened was one Geet pushing Maan Singh Khurana, the Tai Chi practicing stud and then in a fit of rage Maan Singh had dragged a pregnant lady out of his office. Bravo. Kya mardanagi!

Now we were still reeling from this atrocity and the story takes another turn.

Face Off k and Maang Bharo Sajna track

The wrong doer suddenly wanted avenging and was trying very hard to get mileage. She brought in new ammunition in form of a brother. Where did he come from ' Malaysia?

And lord behold we see yet another dropped from heaven character called Maan's Sister. Suddenly Vicky had a sex change and turned to Annie how uncanny.

She would have made sense to us if they had made sense in bringing her rather than tapakofying from god knows where. She did not have television, she did not have news..she was like the babe in the woods. May be she lived in Kailash trying to achieve Niravana'

When push comes to shove what Pindi Queen could not do, NT had to do. Another saviour moment. Maang Bharo sajna.

The couple sizzled when they were not aware of their feelings, when they did not confess, when they felt only attraction for each other. But afterwards they turned into the couple that invented Chastity Belt.

He had held her passionately in Kurbaan Hua, touched her tremblingly in Peen Loon and after the khoon bhari maan, touch was less and less to almost nonexistent.

Maan ban gaya Raam! Hey Raam!


Golmaal track

-          Annie & Arjun ' The wedding planners

The wedding seemed was here finally oh well the planners were from Malaysia and Kailash so it felt more like a village wedding rather than a Delhi residing Industrialist. But Budget ka sawaal hai shayad.

-          Brij and NT the Wedding poopers

Now one would do a wedding in a lavish with fun and frolic giving a feeling of bon homie' but no GHSP had to be dippharant from the rest and had to bring intrigue with not one but two party poopers.

Now more than the wedding the two villains get more mileage with their Tommy Gun ( phrase borrowed from one of my Idiot friend) with dialogues that last longer than a freight train passing at a railway crossing.

But it is a dream wedding none the less

The story and screenplay are not visible but one could have had moments that would have had the screen sizzle. But looks like a thanda couple are getting married with one trying to come close the other pushing away.


Missed opportunities

-          Vicky

-          Sameera

-          Mirchandani

-          Hoshiarpur family ' Darji, Rano, Chachi, Chacha, Raji, Tito and of course Brij's wife what's her name dolly

-          Sasha

-          Meera

-          Jay

-          D'Mellos

These were the cast of characters if they had been penned well and given more than a 15 day track ( I have included Sasha as well cos the amount of footage she got probably amounts to the same ultimately) ' am I being harsh? The lead pair could have had rest. Parallel tracks could have been created with more logic.

Today a Tasha who was dead against Geet due to Sasha is suddenly the best buddy, part of haldi ceremony behaving like a chaddi buddy.

The Hits for me and I miss them now are

-          The symbolism

-          The color palette ' change in colors of walls and use of colors to signify a mood, next track or possible moment.

-          The paintings that merged ' showed depth in art direction and cinematography . whether it was Heer Ranjha, Radha Krishna, Madonna and Child, The tilt toy representing maze all formed a palette that was engrossing.

-          The onion skin type of storytelling ' with each layer you exposed, there was something more yet to  be discovered. There was a time when watching an episode once meant missing out on details and depth that was infused in it. Today, the story does not engage you enough to look at the finesse with which the story telling is done, if at all.



The characterization is inconsistent, lacks homework or thought process. They are like a one line characters as below

Adi ' man who stammers and laughs like hyena' but no explanation as to why he stammers only in front of Maan and laughs in nervousness. They have  a character and they could have built a back story for this but again not done.

Pinky ' the food fetish is suddenly missing. Looks like the detailing the earlier CVs had is totally gone. The current CVs have not done their homework and do not follow character consistency.

Tasha ' she plotted against Geet to create  MU with Annie, suddenly the henchmen of Sasha is left without a crutch so she conveniently becomes Geet's chaddi buddy.

Manishaa ' The gay guy '.is he really? Or is just effeminate.  He is not even loyal in his adulation. Kabhi Maan toh Kabhi Adi'kya will he finally fall for Pandeyji..the baal bramachari?

Romeo ' the potential character who seems a flirt but isn't actually. A sensitive man who has the hots for Tasha?

Pandeyji ' The shudh hindi speaking man. Really is there a need for him? If so give more to do. Propagating advantages of being a bramachari. If nothing, will keep the teeming population of India under check'really?

Even Maan seems to become the road side romeo one day and suddenly the CVs remember he is supposed to be the AYM persona. Would Maan really allow Manisha to touch his feet the way he did even if it is wedding? I think not, he would have cut him to size with a look before he let that happen.

Adi has lost his stammer around Maan finally?

Geet talks of Rajnikant? Wow when did she get into the email/sms circulation? She is after all one of Maan's phast phast girls?

The screenplay and story are lost and I have lost my interest in a serial that had held my attention for the longest time.

Happy viewing guys.

This is my honest opinion and no pussy footing around. I feel the GHSP had potential to become a pioneer in bringing in story that had cause as its foundation and romance that underlined the storytelling

I had felt it was a Woman of Substance in Indian context in the making..

Now only woman remains and it lacks substance.


 After thougt?

in the piece i wrote..

i deliberately left out the biggest screenplay/story error


i felt they missed the boat with creating a villain that would have been svaue and stylish, who made women swoon over his charm and good looks and his only aim in life is like the kingfisher

the king of good times..i would love to see that Dev...the Devil is his real name but he only goes by the first three letters...

i also did not focus on Naintara though i felt her character is fantastic but lately she has become delusional..

again i would have loved her to be pure evil who only wants everyone including her husband to dance to her tunes...
her husbands should be the one who wears the pants...and..she is the mastermind..they would have made a fantastic villains

phir na brij ki jaroorat na Arjun ki

but meri dilli tammanna adhoori reh gayee

kya aisa ho sakta hai ki..i see the first evil couple on TV where both employ seemingly opposite means to achieve the same goal...

of power and wealth...

ehhhhaaahhhhaaaa haaa! *the trademark evil laugh*


Edited by -RushTrip- - 15 January 2011 at 11:29am

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BheegiBasanti IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 06 October 2005
Posts: 11062

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:16am | IP Logged
"You must write your first draft with your heart.  You rewrite with your head.  The first key to writing is to write, not to think!"
Finding Forrester (2000) - William Forrester (Sean Connery)
What is this story that captured my heart really about?
Is it the story of a young girl and her unborn baby or might it perhaps be the story of a girl fighting for justice?

Is this a love story or more simply, the story of the life of a young girl?

Is it all or none of these and really about a mali working for a rich family?
The answer to this question is as varied as the opinions about the show itself!

If I were to simplify the monster that is story and screenplay writing, the success of  shows like GHSP rests in large part on the ability of the writers to have, at the very least, a clearly defined premise, plot and characterization.

The Geet team has delivered on a story and screenplay, quite successfully, for months now. Yet, the lack of a clear premise in GHSP, in my humble opinion, is at the root of what appears to be a meandering story lacking any discernible direction these days.

The broadest possible premise for GHSP is that it's a story about a girl facing and living her life. Anything and everything can be justified as part of the story and screenplay with such a it Dev's crimes or Maan and Geet falling in love...even a miscarriage! But, such  a non-specific premise is hard for a viewer to grasp easily unless it is in slice-of-life type of story, which GHSP is not! Here...some viewers swear it's about an unwed pregnant girl standing on her own feet while others, with equal passion, argue that it really is about justice for women.  Still another group emphatically argues that it is a classic Mills & Boon type love story. One could make a case that this sort of divergence of opinion is alright...even good for some healthy debate! But...when the story moves away from any of these assumed premises, viewers react and either complain endlessly about the story's lost direction or stop watching. All of this, not surprisingly, translates to falling ratings!

Still with me? ROFL ROFL

Given that one cannot go back and re-tell this narrative, where can it go from here while uniting the viewer base behind this show? Of course there are any number of story changes possible to do this. But my two cents'...bringing Dev back in his full-on evil avatar is the easiest way of evolving the old magic. This also grows the story to a fundamental good vs. evil plot while giving the writers the ability to close many open ends like Geet seeking justice etc.

Here is one way in which such a story could unfold! ROFL ROFL
Geet and Maan were about to marry
When in came Naintara to spoil the party
She tried to kill Geet but fell instead
And lies comatose on a hospital bed!

Dev who had retired to the Canadian mountains
Came rushing back to see NT via Great Britain
First come see me at the Khurana mansion
Pleaded Daadi of her middle grandson

But who should he run into at the mansion gates
None other that the "bro" whose forgiveness he craved
And right there with Geet and the media watching
Maan angrily rejected Dev and forced him in to leaving

Embittered and angry at the turn of events
Dev recalled a lifetime of coming second
First it was his Dad, then Daadi and now Maan
Nothing was ever good enough unlike with the eldest son!

You will pay for humiliating me this way
You will wish you'd listened to what I had to say
All your wealth will one day be mine
Thought Dev as he plotted and planned

And so this epic gets an evil character again
With or without Naintara and Arjun in the game
The story that began with Dev's deed gory
Returns to the characters that brought it glory

While Dev versus Maneet then remains the main story arc
There are now plenty of secondary characters to stir the pot
We also need to see Vicky and Sameera enter the story
To provide context to these characters history
Thank you for reading...the pot for the chawannis you throw my way is ready!

Edited by darlunia - 15 January 2011 at 10:03am

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BheegiBasanti IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 06 October 2005
Posts: 11062

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:17am | IP Logged


The information here is Xclusive to de Den ONLY! Read n FORGET IT!  Infringe our CopyRite and Anj will make u watch the "India Paints" Videos till u c the Light! Everyone Is Welcome, so Post Post! We are like Appy Fizz and Grappo Fizz....Cool to de Core!   
- Devils of the Devil's Den-

1. If U don't like the Devil's Den residents then just fly away!  We don't like to be mean hosts!

2. U can only jappoo Geet HSP ki Geet at Den - So, stay in your maryaada and don't jam about other shows!

3. The Den is not just about CONfakes, but reel takes so discuss dey story constructively in all its gloryBig smile

Do dish about the Actors, but don't diss em or their frogs!  Anj won't post ur IF bail!

5. This is not Dadimaa's Darbar, so don't spam about the best way to bake ham, etc.!

6. We r going to open new Den before airtime and shift there once the show finishes whether u ve reserved ya not!  So, be PHAAST!

7. Don't QUOTE use "@" to reply varna you will get a Watt o Unwanted pics that will make ur eyes snap crackle n pop!  Max of 1 quote is okkie if u really must - that's all.

8. Naya Den if we run outta the original 1 for the day can be opened by anyone, but only post these rules & the link to the old den in the 1st post.  Don't forget to leave link of 2ndary dens in original one for the day.  

9. There is Devilsden A/C.  Its for emergencies & our awesome Kreations Corner 
All the Devils raise hand and repeat after me 
"And hereby Pledge to diss All de Spoilers n Spoof de Pictures" 


Star Player is testing whether they could go live at the same time or within the half-an-hour of airtime, but are NOT

Previous DENS with THEMES


Potential Plot lines (MB)



Aesthetics (make up etc)


Brij and Yash








Edited by darlunia - 15 January 2011 at 9:08am

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BheegiBasanti IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 06 October 2005
Posts: 11062

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:18am | IP Logged
So Da Brij hid behind a curtain seeing Daadi...ROFL...and he wore a PINK pagdi. I guess he wanted to blend in with the ladke waale to kidnap Da Maan himself? A girl can dream...right? ROFL ROFL

And then there were those space exploration type beeping machines in NT's room...ROFL...come on CVs...where did you shop, the local toy store?

And Tasha is now Geet's BFF going on spa dates and what not...ROFL...W*H is that about? Shocked

Da Maan wears an old that a subtle symbolism type hint for us that all the rest of the characters in that old spoiler picture are coming back too?


ROFL Can't wait then for Dev to re-enter in his blue-colored one...Day very well with my story theme. ROFL

And then there was the horse...ROFL. Come on Geet team...we want to see this! ROFL

Edited by darlunia - 15 January 2011 at 10:44am

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AnjanaYYZ IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 26 September 2008
Posts: 28755

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:21am | IP Logged

Mighty MSK yesterday could not stop NT ka fall.  Kyun?  Love gave Maan the power to save Geet in a similar situation, but here there was no "love" to trump all.  NT was meant to fall.   

Arjun is now intent on hearing evil's call, but will he be able to consistently do so?  No.  Eventually his feelings for Annie will overpower the evil that NT has in his mind planted.  Why because LOVE Trumps all.  

The curfew is about to toll, so will the wedding stall? NO.  Maaneet will surprise each other and us.  They will at the mandap together land up.  Y?  They promised each other that they would be happy.  Or aisa kabhi hua ki Maan Singh Khurana koi waada nahi nibhaya?  Besides do you doubt that their love won't trumph all?  If so, then stop watching this serial! Tongue

Brij will find a grassy knoll to shoot all? So?  Maan ya Geet may falter, but ultimately Brij will fail.  He has a date with Satan in hell and Love Trumps All: Sickness and Sickos both.  

In sum - All izzzzzzzzz Welllllll!  Nobody is in the WELL!  

Edited by AnjanaYYZ - 15 January 2011 at 10:29am

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geet.a IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 04 July 2010
Posts: 20126

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:22am | IP Logged
Well hello!

a few points only today

1. marriage is happening.
IT is happening despite the curfue..seems more of an emergency the way they are talking..LOL
Are there NO ways to go to Cp haan? but i accept it as to create suspense.

I'm telling ya- the ghoda is gonna come back with MSK on it and that salon lady will say
"aapke sapno ke raajkumar bilkul sapno ki tarha aaye hain"LOL

Despite all the negativities and people wanting to kill Geet left,right and centre-
MSk has come along with the ghoda to marry her...

2. Arjun bana NT ka bhai
Waah waah mere psycho sher...dilemma resolved haan?
Gonna use annie are you?
but why the tear when you hugged her?
Shocked so..he's gonna not let Annie and Geet meet and reach KM...hmmmm
IF Geet doesn't reach KC, KC will reach Geet..samjhe?LOL

3. Aao..meri Annie..ab tumhari baari hai became SO selfish that you left OUR GEET ALONE?
To come to your BF to be there for him.
IT's her priority..Arjun is her priority..her love is her she different from the khuranas here?
All said n done- I hate her because i love geet. 
what she did was selfish and i wish I could murder her...because MSK had told her to stick with Geet and she floated away..hmph!

4. Seriously...THE Wife of the most influential Business tycoon in DELHI gets her mehendi NOT from the professional mehendi waalas or some rajasthani mehendi lagane waalas...BUT at a PARLOR?
I'm sorry but I didn't like it...What maan suggested was perfectly awesome...but how can mehendi be taken so lightly?when in the next dialogue it was being talked about as being every girl's dream?

5. MSK-Geet convo

Geet told Maan to start thinking of himself sometimes...
She reminds him of how he is..MAan Singh Khurana...she appeals to him to be who he is.
While he loves Geet..he should remember who he isEmbarrassed
and she asks him to promise to her...that he will remember who he is..
Except he says he cares about her more than himself..
and that's a fact..
His selfishness is taking care of HER, seeing HER happy...

I also liked when he said "tum dono jaldi aa jana"
I loved his expressions!
The whole saying goodbye and all was to add to the suspense factor...Embarrassed
they succeededLOL

6. NT in coma..
Stay that way woman till they get married please!

7. DD looked BEAUTIFUL!!
*nazar utaroes* I feel GC could have worn something creamish rather than GreenishEmbarrassed

8. Pinky, Tasha
I thought they should have stayed with Geet..or at least checked back on her

9.uhh..Road blocked
Seriously interesting..let's see how you show vehicles...Im counting on the HorseMAAN!EmbarrassedLOL

10. PRecap- Brij in Kc...with PINK PAGDI!
Bas shubh mahoorat hai..Geet bhi nahi hai..go ahead maan! karlo poore apne saare armaan...

i was all..thank GOD he's here..he doesn't have Geet does he?

Why do i feel an Arjun-Brij nexus it's going to be...
v seems to me
that brij will go to find Geet and find instead arjun and NE

Oh well..if he's already there...BTw..LOUSY SECURITY SYSTEM!

Hopefully Geet is safe at the salon...ab light jaayegi udhar shayad and then god knows what else..

All I'd like to say is..although the suspense is well and good..I hope Arjun track is going to ADD to the future track 

"Sapne sachh hote der nahi lagti"
I had heard from some ad

"yeh mera sapna hai...sachh kaise ho sakta hai"
Geet- although you have faced so many problems, and now it seems we won't be able to marry..and now you will regret what you said as a joke that no marriage if no msk thinking of himself...we will still get married..when circumstances are against us...
Sometime back- they were with us..all the time..and now..they are against us...but this time..those very circumstances have built our love up as being so strong that it will easily overcome all of them and help us get together despite the odds weighed against us
Love, Maan Singh Khurana

Aapne mujhse waade kiye...jinpe maine apne sapne sajaye
main jaanti hoon un sab waadon ko aap nibhayenge
aur har mushkil mein mere saath honge
the light of our love will light me up during the darkest hours
when there are no thoughts but bad ones clouding me,
when there is no one but loneliness and harm surrounding me
I will wait for you...and have faith in you to come
for you promised me so...Im waiting for you my maan!

That's all for today!

I loved how Geet reminded him of himself today and said "mere Maan"Embarrassed
MSk's "tum dono"Clap
DD looked beautiful!
I want GHODA!!

Chubby- START emoting more haan!

Love to all

Edited by geet.a - 15 January 2011 at 10:26am

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MarshP IF-Rockerz

Joined: 18 August 2010
Posts: 7555

Posted: 15 January 2011 at 8:23am | IP Logged
Jaya I was not supposed to write today, and you go about playing the friendship card. Stern SmileROFL

Jaya  for you! Hug Just in case you are wondering I'm still looking everywhere but the sky ROFL Can't wait to read yours Tongue

Hi Vrush Hug Awesome take, it's always a pleasure to read you Clap Story could have been so much better had other characters been explored.
PS: I only disagreed on one of the points, well I agree but have a defenseLOL   Is that disagreeing? ErmmROFL

Edited by MarshP - 15 January 2011 at 8:55am

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