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Chaand Chupa Badal Mein
Chaand Chupa Badal Mein

Family Waves The First Move s2 page17 (Page 9)

zarmeeno IF-Dazzler
zarmeeno
zarmeeno

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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 2:58am | IP Logged
I would simply say brilliant

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Suchi-

SweetQueens Newbie
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Posted: 24 January 2011 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
woww just amazing . cant wait for the next scene

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Suchi-

NivRen_Luvu4eve Groupbie
NivRen_Luvu4eve
NivRen_Luvu4eve

Joined: 26 January 2011
Posts: 90

Posted: 26 January 2011 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
Suchi, sorry for the late response but I must say that it is written wonderfully. Amazing story.

I am falling so much in love with your characters, specially Ritul and Sana. Loved Ritul for everything and liked Sana for her attitude towards Ritul. Hope you'll continue with the story.

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Suchi-

jyothi_cool IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 27 January 2011 at 7:33am | IP Logged
suchi amazing loved it 

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Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 28 January 2011 at 11:27am | IP Logged
Chapter 5
Scene 3


 

 

 

She could see the dry grass amidst the lush green garden. The sprinkler seemed to miss a tiny patch in particular, though unknowingly.  Her steps became heavier with each moment as she dragged them forcibly towards the Mehra Residence.


 

Her work is what she needed to get over her life's turmoil. She turned on her computer and glared at its screen trying to make sense of the To-Do list that she had written the previous day.


 

"Good morning"

 


Sana looked up and found Rithul standing in front of her. It was the last thing she needed. An annoying man who liked to talk and question her.


 


She merely nodded her head hoping dearly that he would take the hint and leave.

 



"I want you to look over these extra content material for the about us section" Said Rithul standing holding a black file in his hand.


 


He could notice that there was something different about her today. Her quick wit was something he loved and had already gotten used to her attitude, but today was different. He noticed that she was very restless and was not herself.

 



"I will let you work. See you at lunch" he said as he placed the file on her desk and walked out of her room.

 


Sana picked up the file and started flippings its pages mindlessly.

 


"Are you ok?" asked Sapna. She had decided to check up on Sana after the morning incident. Sapna's mother had informed her about Sana's parents.

 


"Yes Main teekh hun" said Sana.

 


Sana was not someone who opened up easily, but Sapna always knew when she was low. They had been best of friends for years.

 


"Main pick kernay aa jaun?" Said Sapna


 

" No its OK. Main aa jaungi. Abhi rakhthi hun kam kerna hai" Said sana trying to avoid any possible questioning about her parent's divorce.

 




 

"You should have stayed out of my business" Shouted Idha

 


"How can I stay out? Mera bas chaltha tho main uskay tangay thor detha" retorted Ikshu

 


Sana looked at the door wondering about the sudden raised voices that seemed emerge from the living room. She placed the file back on the table and walked out of the room towards the staircases.

 



The living room was clearly visible from the top. Sana stood watching Idha and Iskhu shouting at each other.

 



"Ikshu thumhari wajay sey aaj baat ithni phail gayi hai" said Idha her eyes were gleaming tears.



 

It seemed that they had just arrived from college as both were holding their book bags on their back.

 


"He has been harassing you for an entire week and you said you will take care of it" shouted Ikshu

 


"Just stay of it ok" said idha turning her back on Ikshu and started to walk away.

 

Ikshu threw his bag down with all the anger he could muster causing it to fly and land on the other side of the room.

 


"yeh ho kya raha hain yahan per"

Hansa asked both of them. She had come to find out the cause of all the commotion.

 


"Aap dono chilla kiyun rahe ho?" she asked them

 


Idha's eyes grew wide with worry. She looked at her brother hoping that he would not go over the incidents that occurred in their school.

 


It had been earlier that day. Idha and her friends  were heading towards their classes when she felt a hand touch her back and her braw strap being pulled and snap back.


She could hear laughter all around and Roney made his way past her by hitting on her shoulder.

 


She never had felt more humiliated.

 


"Janay de idha, voh sari larkiyon kay saath aisa hi kertha hai" reasoned keerthi, her friend.


 

This was not the first time that Roney had behaved in such manner with her. He had been troubling her since the start of her Intermediate College.

 


Just earlier that week he had written her name on the boys restroom. Ikshu, who was a senior in her college had found out about Roney's behavior. He wanted to confront him but Idha did not want the matter to get out of hands. She had asked Ikshu to stay out of it but she was worried now thinking about what he would do after finding out about this.

 


And that is what happened.

 


Ikshu had trashed his bike and cornered Roney after college hours.

 


"Oh Shit!" screamed Roney looking at his bike.


"You better be glad its not your neck" Shouted Ikshu walking closer to Roney

 


"Agar maine dekha ki thunay meri behen per haath bhi lagaya hai tho , agli dafa tera gardan hoga teray bike ki jagah" Spat Ikshu


 

As he walked away he felt Roney move trying to swing his hand. Ikshu ducked catching hold of his fist and then punched him straight on his face causing Roney to fall down.


 

"bhai chalo please" urged Idha as she grabbed Ikshu's hand and dragged him from there

 

 

 

"aap dono nay bataya nahi ki , aap jagadh kiyun rahe thay?" asked Hansa again with a commanding tone.

 


"Madam, Phone" Makhan handed the receiver to Hansa


 

"Ji main Hansa Mehra baat ker rahi hun. Ji ikshu ki ma"


 

"Kya?"

 


"Mujhe is baat ka afsos hai ki , ikshu nay is is tarah ka bartaav kiya hai"


 

"ji, Shukriya. Hum kaal aapsey milnay aa jayengay"

 


 

"Idha, thum andar jaao mujhe ikshu sey kuch baat kerni hai" said Hansa with the same commanding tone.


 

"ma, please aap bhai per naraaz nahi hue. Unki koi galthi nahi hai" Said Idha pleadingly


 

"Idha, aapnay suna nahi. Aap Andhar jayiye" repeated Hansa


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prajeeShayafanScintillatinggmann2010

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 28 January 2011 at 11:52am | IP Logged

Chapter 5

Scene 4


"aapko kuch kehna hai Ikshu" asked Hasna


 

"Nahi mom" Ikshu usually called Hansa tayiji but when ever he was in trouble he refered to her as 'mom' in recognition of her authority.


 

"aapnay aisa kiyun kiya"


 

"aapko unhonay bataya nahi?"


 

"mujhe bas ithna pata hai ki aapnay gussay main kisi per haat utaya hai. Aur ye main kabhi bardash nahi ker sakthi ki mera beta koi gonday ki tarah bartaav karay" She said

 


"But mom"


 

"No buts Ikshu. Aapkay papa ayengay aur aap chalkar us larkay sey maafi mangengay jissey aapki larayi hui hai"


 

"Main maafi !? Spat Ikshu


 

"No way" main andhar jaa raha hun


 

"Ikshu… Ikshu…!" called Hansa after him as he walked away grabbing his bag angrily.

 


Hansa always was worried about Ikshu. He was unlike his older brothers, Shravan and Rithul. She knew that he had a very quick temper but until today he had never raised his hand on anyone. The thought of her son going astray made her weak in her knees.

 


She sat down on the sofa looking discouraged


 

"Ma" said Idha softly

 


"Ma please, aap meri baat suniye. Aapko puri baat ka nahi pata. Roney bohot batameez larka hai. Voh mujhe roz tang kertha hai. Kafi hafthon sey tang ker raha hai. Usnay mera naam…

 


"aapka naam?" asked Hansa  

 


"boys restroom main likh diya tha" Said idha, with her voice quivering and her face red with embarrassment. How can one speak about such things in front of their mother?

 


"Kya?" said Hansa shocked

 


"aur aaj…."


 

'bolo beta' said Hansa holding Idha's hands gently


 

"usnay mujh per haath rakha tha" she said with out meeting Hansa's eyes.

 


Hansa sighed!


"Tho aapnay aaker humain kiyun nahi bataya?"


 

"main nahi chahthi thi ki ghar per kisi ko bhi pata chalay. Main papa sey aisi baat kaise ker sakthi hun" said Idha


 

"Aur ikshu nay isiliye mara us larkay ko"

 


"ji"


 

"teek hai beta main aapkay papa sey baat kerthi hun. Kal dekhaingay ki kya kerna chahiye" Said Hansa her voice filled with concern.


 

"Abhi jao aur fresh ho jao. Main khana laga dethi hun. Aur han apni ma sey kuch mat kehna. Aapko pata hai na ki shamita jaldi pareshan ho jathi hai" said Hansa

 


"ji"

 

Sana had been watching their conversation silently from the top floor. She felt sad for Idha thinking about how humiliated she might have felt and also satisfied that Ikshu had protected his sister.


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SweetQueensprajeeShayafanScintillatinggmann2010

neetusidhu Goldie
neetusidhu
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Joined: 19 January 2005
Posts: 1657

Posted: 28 January 2011 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
that was fantastic suchitra ji...keep up the great work...cant wait to read more...

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Suchi-

milee1014 Goldie
milee1014
milee1014

Joined: 12 March 2009
Posts: 2342

Posted: 28 January 2011 at 12:19pm | IP Logged
Suchi, atlast I read it complete in one sitting.Its just mindblowingClapClapClapClap each and every character is just amazing. I love it so much every scene is amazing don't think I am praising you for the sake of it but that's how I felt while reading I cride with Sana, I laughed at the dininng scene and evening tea time scene. The family bonding, the broken family you have created so many different levels and different characters.
Thanks for doing this. And Please continue soon, abhi pura padnay kay baad I cannot wait for the next chapter.
I know you are a busy woman but when ever you get chance please do it.

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Suchi-

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