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Chaand Chupa Badal Mein

Family Waves The First Move s2 page17 (Page 7)

nuts Senior Member
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Posted: 18 January 2011 at 6:55am | IP Logged
Hey Suchi...the last scene was so good...Dolly is like a kid that all of us are familiar with. The right question at the wrong time in the presence of company...how many of us have lived thru situations like that when we just wished the earth would open up and swallow us...great job as usual Suchi!!!

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Suchi-

lams Goldie
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Posted: 18 January 2011 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
Suchi di I just read all your FF , thanks so much ..its beautiful and amazing I guess after the Nivren week we all need to focus on something else .. hope you do get to write more ...
and about the Nivren yes i will wait with bated breath for you to complete ...please suchi di we need it

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Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 22 January 2011 at 11:46am | IP Logged

Chapter 4

Scene 5


"Bohot hi ajeeb family hai Sapna. I honestly did not expect anyone could be like them.  For a moment I thought I had run into some sort of shooting scene watching actors playing out their perfect parts" Said Sana, sitting on her living room sofa, sipping her tea.


"What do you mean?" asked sapna with her eyebrow raised.


" I cannot put my finger on it, saying well this is it." She continued


There was silence. Everything that had happened earlier flashed across her mind as ripples.


"Mera dil halka ho gaya aur bhari bhi.


Sapna kya waqay main ek pati apni patni sey ithna pyar ker saktha hai?" She asked.


Sapna could see the surprise and disbelief in her eyes. She could understand the questions that were erupting in Sana's mind.


Sana did not have a normal childhood. Then again who does? Everyone has a unique story to tell, a unique experience, a unique feeling to share.


 Sapna could clearly remember her college days when Sana stayed over at her place until late nights. Her family had accepted Sana as a second daughter and had always welcomed her stay.


"The 'Escape Resort' she called it, my house" thought sapna


"Kya soch rahi ho?" came the voice of Sana


"kuch nahi' acha Rithul kaisa hai? Uskay baray main tho kuch kaha hi nahi thumnay" Said Sapna trying to change the atmosphere around her


"thumhay aur koi kaam nahi hai kya. Har waqt Rithul, Rithul. He is so annoying. Her 2 minutes aa jatha hai andar koi na koi bahanay sey. No professionalism at all ! Ridiculous! Exclaimed Sana angrily


"Sana I am telling you. I think he seriously likes you and I find him really cute! Uski ankhein did you notice its grey ! and those dimples! Oh My God' to die for!! Said sapna with a sigh


"You lucky-itch" Cried sapna with jealousy etched across her face


"Shut up Sapna. Thumhay pata hai I don't like curse words and please stop drooling it's making me nauseous! Retorted Sana angrily as she got up to place their empty cups in the kitchen sink


"I didn't curse. I just called you an ITCH" said Sapna

 

"ok I am sorry. Tell me more aur kya hua wahan'" she said running after Sana

 

"Are you going back. Tomorrow?"


"Yes"


"Oh Great! Main bhi aaun. Please. Please! " pleaded Sapna with her hands folded


"No."


"Hello! I am your assistant OK! At work!" reminded Sapna


"Ji nahi. You are just coming to gape over him" 


"him who?"


"Lets get some sleep now" said Sana ignoring Sapna




Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 22 January 2011 at 12:00pm

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prajee Senior Member
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Posted: 22 January 2011 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
Suchi... beautifully written dear... i jus love this line....

Sana did not have a normal childhood. Then again who does? Everyone has a unique story to tell, a unique experience, a unique feeling to share.

This is so real... That's why v are so much glued to ur story as there is no fantasy in it... you are fab as usual dear... :)


Edited by prajee - 22 January 2011 at 1:25pm

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moniluvskinshuk IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 23 January 2011 at 5:23am | IP Logged
Oh Suchi lovedd it . Fantastic . Keep on gongg . i m lovngg Rithul Yaar . He is a sweetheart n So cutee . n Dollyy is heheee . Her innocent ques justcracked me up

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Suchi-

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 23 January 2011 at 8:39am | IP Logged
Chapter 5
"The Blow"
Scene 1

"Aaj sabh katm ho gaya" said Hema


There was silence. Sana could feel her heart slowly moving down from its place. Her mind was getting heavier and her eyes were yearning to reflect the pain that had been locked up inside her for years.

"Kuch bolo Sana. Its ok, jithna rona chahthi ho ro lo. Mujhe pata hai hum dono ki larai main thumhara dil sabsey zyada dukha hai"

 
 
"I …I am sorry beta"

 
Sana could hear her mother's voice quivering

 
"Mom .. Please .."

 
"Please aap math royiye. I cannot handle that. Voh aapko deserve nahi karthay hain" said sana trying to hide her tears which were unseen to her mother as she was on the phone but a mother knows when her child is hurt.

 
"Acha hua. Aap please meri fikr na karain. I am fine"

 
"Jis insaan nay aapko ithni takleef di. Ithnay saalon tak aur aap bhi bina ek "uf" kay chalthi gayin… chalthi gayin… nibhathi gayin..kiyun?...

 
"sirf meray liye na?" asked Sana

 
She could hear her mother's hidden sniffles. Her tears always did seem to never reveal themselves to the outside world. Perhaps they thought that in doing so it would be considered betrayal or ungratefulness.

 
"Mom , main kal hi aa jathi hun" said Sana

 
"Nahi beta. Thum nahi aana yahan per" interupted Hema quickly

 
Sana knew that if she were to go back then her father would come and visit her and this was something that her mother did not want.

 
"main hi thoray dinon main aa jaungi" Hema said

 
"Thum jao. Kal baat hogi. Take care beta"

 
Sana hung up the phone and looked at the wall where she saw herself smiling besides her mother. Her hands were around her mother's hands and her cheeks touching her mothers'.

 
How long had it been since she saw her mother smile?

 
'That was probably the last' thought sana to herself as she remembered how she had forced her mom to take a picture with her after her graduation ceremony.


Her mother never wanted to take pictures and this was one of the few moments she had agreed. Her smile, that very so rarely saw the light of the sun, brilliantly shone that day.

 
Hatred erupted in her heart as the memories of her past insinuated her mind. Flashes of her father yelling, hurling abuses, clouded it, slowly erasing the smiling face of her mother.

 
She could feel the hot tears that streaked its way across her cheeks disappearing under her pointed chin.

 
"Sana lets go we are getting late" came the voice of Sapna

 
She quickly wiped her tears and rushed into the washroom not wanting to be subjected to any questioning.


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anjubala IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 23 January 2011 at 9:34am | IP Logged
OMG..Suchi this is so good.. It seems so real. We all go through this kind of experiences. I am loving this story. Please keep writing and thanks for giving us something to read over the weekend. You are a wonderful writer. Keep it up.

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prajee Senior Member
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Posted: 23 January 2011 at 1:03pm | IP Logged
Suchi... This is really going grt.. :) pls continue dear..Smile

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