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Chaand Chupa Badal Mein
Chaand Chupa Badal Mein

Family Waves The First Move s2 page17 (Page 2)

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
Thanks anju ! : )

gmann2010 IF-Dazzler
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Posts: 3677

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
Wow Suchi mazaa aagaya. I loved Sana's character. Rithul's character looks interesting too. Can't wait to know them more. 

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Suchi-

Sofna IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 5:46pm | IP Logged
Wow Suchi...do cont soon

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Suchi-

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 10:58pm | IP Logged

Chapter 2

Scene 2

Sana waited tapping her feet impatiently as sapna opened the door to their three bedroom flat. She had gotten into one of her moods again. The hot weather coupled with irrational argument had infuriated her.


She marched furiously into her room, slammed the door, turned on her stereo and started listening to the recorded nature sounds. The sounds of birds singing, the flowing water, slight thunder, rain, the hooting of the owl took her anger away with them to the lands unknown.


There was an enormous wall mural of calm snow clad mountains on all the four sides of her room.  The ceiling was painted black as the night sky with shining stars that twinkled at the night and the sounds of rainforest echoed from all the corners.

 

"Sana, main andhar aa jaun?" called sapna,  as she knocked at the door carrying a tray filled with cookies and two steaming mugs of coffee.

 

"hmmm" said sana.

 

She sat upright, reduced the volume and tied her thick black silky hair into a knot.


"Abh mood kaisa hai madam ka" asked sapna placing the tray inbetween them


"Thanks" answered Sana, graciously sipping into the hot French Vannila coffee.


"I needed that"


"Aj thumharay liye two calls aye thay, kisi Bharat-Builders Construction Company sey, unko ek urgent meeting set kerni thi. Maine unka information likh ker thumhary  desk per stick ker diya haiz" said Sapna


"hmm" said sana inattentively


"kya hua?" asked sapna


"Papa ka call aya tha" said sana seriously.


"He wants me to come back. Mom aur unkay beech fir sey jaghda ho gaya hai"


"Is dafa, I think its final. Bath kafi serious ho gayi hai. Mom wants to end it lekin voh nahi chahthi ki main vahan aaun." Said sana as she took another sip.


"Shayad thumharay janay sey baath tandi ho jaye. May be you should go" suggested Sapna.


"But why? Mom is right. Kithna sahengi voh?"


"She had shut up all her feelings and emotions inside of her for years now, all bottled up and"'


"abhi bhi voh reh jayengi unkay saath, meray liye.... agar main kahun tho"  said Sana, her voice full of tender reproach.


"sirf ye dikhanay ke liye, duniya ko,  ki everything is fine in our family"


"but nothing is fine sapna. He drinks, curses and abuses her every single night"


"manthi  hun ki physical abuse nahi hai, lekin ' tanay, shikway, unki nakaamiyon ka zimma mom ko tehrana, galiyan and"


 then subah ut ker one plain sorry!"


"aur mom bhi , maaf kerthi aayin hai, 25 saal sey!" said sana bitterly.


Her heart ached to think of the solitary struggle that her mom must have gone through, all these years, without any support or comfort.


"Isiliye main India aa gayi. Taki yahan per main apnay aap ko sahih tarah sey establish karun aur Mom ko support karun"


" And I have done it! I am running a successful web designing company that has its base in US and in India, that enables me to support my mom and myself!"


"she has me now, she does not need him" added Sana rebelliously.


"Tho abh kya kerna hai? What are you going to tell your dad?" asked Sapna


"Mujhe nahi pata'isi baat sey tho main pareshan hun. Sometimes mujhe unper taras aatha hai. Agar voh sharab peena band ker dain , then all his problems will be solved. At least he will think straight" said sana frustrated.


 

"what ever!" she sighed


" Main jaker us Bharat construction-


"Bharat Builders"interrupted Sapna


"han Bharat Builders sey appointment banathi hun. I think I have heard of them"

added Sana thoughtfully




Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 13 January 2011 at 11:01pm

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Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
Let me know what you guyz think so far. I know Nivren Have a basis so you can easily gel with their stories but these are completely new characters so need input. : )

gmann2010 IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 19 August 2010
Posts: 3677

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:27pm | IP Logged
Suchi i am loving your this short story, characters are more realistic and you can easily relates to them. I really like Sana's character so far. Also liked Sapna's concern for her friend. Can't wait to know other characters in details.

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nuts Senior Member
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Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 208

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
Hey Suchi great story...u have a gift nd though these characters r different I like them. Strong independent women in stories r welcome always coz we see enough rona dhona on tv. Am happy u r giving a shot at this but please do also continue thr retreat...u have a bewildered Nivi hanging.

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Suchi-

prajee Senior Member
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Posts: 603

Posted: 14 January 2011 at 11:06am | IP Logged
Suchi dear... this is really interesting..
beautifully written... :) pls continue dear... :)

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Suchi-

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