Family Waves The First Move s2 page17 - Page 9

Suchi... I am completely loving ur story... :) Sana and Rithul are awesome.. :) pls continue dear... 😊

Hi Suchi!! 🤗 How are you, dear?? Boy, am I going to have a blast this weekend or what? Reading your fabulous story! 👏 And, it is really shaping up very well and becoming extremely gripping as it unfolds.
Okay, I want to say something here. I hope you realize what an amazingly brilliant writer you are?? And, I am not just saying this for the heck of it and to make you feel good. You seriously should be a script writer or something, really!! This is not the work of an amateur. You are out an out a pro, my dear, when it comes to writing. You should seriously take this up as your career. 😊
I have read so many of your weekend retreats and now this short story of 'Family Waves' and you simply just never cease to amaze me by giving this perfectly right amount of justice to every emotion, every character, every trait of a character, every single incident!! Just stunningly marvelous! 👏
I am thoroughly enjoying reading all the scenes of this story. My only confusion about these last 2 scenes is that, what Sana did for Idha by showing her compassion & giving her support by hearing her out and consoling her, would actually be something Naina, would do? The way you have portrayed her character this is exactly the kind of solace Naina as Idha's bhabhi would provide, right? And, she was present at the dining table for lunch. So, how come she didn't do anything here??

Wowww Suchi i m lovngg ur SS . n i m lovngg Rithul n Sana . plzz continue soon .

This content was originally posted by: Excruciating

Hi Suchi!! 🤗 How are you, dear?? Boy, am I going to have a blast this weekend or what? Reading your fabulous story! 👏 And, it is really shaping up very well and becoming extremely gripping as it unfolds.
Okay, I want to say something here. I hope you realize what an amazingly brilliant writer you are?? And, I am not just saying this for the heck of it and to make you feel good. You seriously should be a script writer or something, really!! This is not the work of an amateur. You are out an out a pro, my dear, when it comes to writing. You should seriously take this up as your career. 😊
I have read so many of your weekend retreats and now this short story of 'Family Waves' and you simply just never cease to amaze me by giving this perfectly right amount of justice to every emotion, every character, every trait of a character, every single incident!! Just stunningly marvelous! 👏
I am thoroughly enjoying reading all the scenes of this story. My only confusion about these last 2 scenes is that, what Sana did for Idha by showing her compassion & giving her support by hearing her out and consoling her, would actually be something Naina, would do? The way you have portrayed her character this is exactly the kind of solace Naina as Idha's bhabhi would provide, right? And, she was present at the dining table for lunch. So, how come she didn't do anything here??

Thanks payal dear! for the awesome awesome comment. Honestly I wait for such encouragement. and everytime it gives me a HUGE boost!!



OK Naina and shravan had been missing from that scene. Only Sana, Rithul were present.
And for the couple of scenes Naina will be out and the reason will present itself. Sana just didn't ask as she is not a person who likes to talk much or intrude and other family members didn't bring up the topic as they already know about her absence.

Sana was just waiting on the table for the lunch as Hansa had invited her again like the last time.


Also many members of the family were not present like

Shravan, Hansa's husband (hasit) and Naina along with the lil kid dolly.

It was lunch hour so not all family members usually come and attend the lunch at home. Last time Idha and ikshu were absent and dolly had a half a day. So she was there.


and about Idha was vulnerable. I was thinking would anyone open up to a stranger that easily then i thought that its easiest to open up to a stranger than someone you love and know cause of the complications it has. And That is why I made it such a way that Idha opens up to Sana forming a bond and you will see why this was needed in the coming scenes.

: ))))
thanks for paying so much attention to my story it means a LOTTT!!!

Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 13 years ago

Awesome Suchi.....I am loving it more and more....please continue soon....

Hey Suchi, thanks dear for explaining the situation to me. I misunderstood, I thought I read in your scene that Naina was present at the dinning table.

Gosh, look at me, as if NivRen and all the CCBM characters aren't enough, I have now begun dissecting and dwelling upon your characters depicted in Family Waves. Seriously, I need to get a life!! 😳

But tell you what, this is so much better because unlike CCBM, my CT for FW (i.e. you 🤗) is so easily accessible and approachable. 😉 At least, I can reach out to you and let you know, if I don't like any particular aspect in the story, hehe. 😆

And Suchi, you are very welcome, my dear!! 🤗 As I already mentioned, I am not saying this to make you feel good. Simply stating the truth and what I truly feel about the story. 😊
Edited by Excruciating - 13 years ago

All scenes are simply amazing, just loved it. Each and every character you created are fabulous. Story is getting quite gripping.

Chapter 6

Scene 3

 

There was a knock at the door and Hansa walked in holding a tray laden with tea and snacks.

 

Idha who had her head placed on Sana's chest as Sana stroked her hair, moved back quickly trying to hide her tears.

 

Hansa placed the tray on the Dressing table besides Idha's bed and poured the tea into two cups. Sana noticed that there was another mug that had a brown steaming hot liquid in it.

 

 

"ye lo Sana , aur ye lo Idha thumaray liye , Hot Chocolate" Said Hansa as she handed them their beverage

 

'Thanks Mrs. Mehra. Main abhi wapis kaam per jaathi hun' Said Sana as she got up to leave the room.

 

'Baito beta. Aapnay tho lunch bhi nahi kiya aaj. Mujhe bohot sharmindagi mehsoos ho rahi hai' Said hansa as she touched Sana's shoulders gently.

 

'Its ok. Mujhe waise bhuk nahi lag rahi thi.'

 

"Main aapka lunch tees min main uper bijhwa dungi. Aaj lagtha hai koi saath nahi khana khayega. Sorry beta aapko aaj'.

 

"please Mrs. Mehra aap fikr na karain its ok' Said Sana

 

"Main abh chalthi hun aap please  Idha kay paas baitain' she continued as she placed her cup on the tray.

 

'Sana di' said Idha

 

'hmm?' said sana as she turned around

 

Idha walked up to her and hugged her.

 

'Thank you''

 

Sana gently stroke idha's cheek with her hands and smiled at her

 

'chin up '.ok' said sana smiling at Idha who returned her smile back.

 

 

She then turned around and walked away from the room towards her cabin.

 

Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 13 years ago

Chapter 6

Scene 4

 

How Sana got back to her cabin , she did not remember. Her legs must have taken her back. All should could remember were Idha's tears and her pain.

 

Her body still sensing the shaking sobs of Idha and the entire traumatic episode playing again and again in front of her yes. Being forced into something of that personal nature is no less than rape.

 

A woman's self respect had no value. It could be bought, sold, degraded, discarded anytime by anyone. A father, brother, son those who are to protect her, respect her like a jeweler does for his precious gems are usually the first to hurt.

 

Whats the difference between that boy Roney and her father? He took advantage of a helpless girl and her father had done that for 25 years.

She could not believe that this very morning her mother and father were divorced and now, her mind is thinking only about Idha.

 

 

'Excuse me.."

 

Rithul had knocked on her cabin

 

'Please come in' said Sana, composing herself quickly.

 

' I apologize for today's situation' said Rithul apologetically

 

'its ok ' said Sana turning her computer on.

 

She had momentarily forgotten that she was at her workplace and not at a friend's house.

She wanted to get back to her work but a thought occurred to her. She wanted to tell someone about Idha's condition. She remembered that she had promised Idha that she will help find a solution.

 

'Should I tell him?' Sana thought to herself turning the files of a book laying in front of her absent mindedly.

 

'but I do not like talking to him. I do not think that he can help and instead he would go and yell at idha' she murmured angrily to herself.

 

'aapnay kuch kaha?' said Rithul looking at her

 

'no..' said sana softly trying not to sound rude.

 

'But he did behave rationally with his father and he does not come across as an angry young man like his brother' she reasoned thinking to herself

 

'its not about you its about Idha now. So just relax and tell him'

 

Sana took a deep breath

 

'Mr. Mehra' she said

 

'ji?' said Rithul surprised.

 

'aapsey kuch baat kerni hai' she said looking at an inch away to the left of Rithul

 

This must not be a bad day after all. Sana wanting to talk to him? Alone? Without him actually making any effort? Thought Rithul

 

'ji kahiye'

 

"aap please baityiye , mujhe idha kay baray main baat kerni hai'

 

'Idha kay baray main?' asked Rithul confused.

 

His face became serious. Sana did go after Idha but he never expected Idha to open up to her. As it was the first time they were meeting. He assumed that she probably helped Idha to calm down but , now she wants to talk about his sister?..

 

'I do not know how to put this delicately.

Idha might be in serious trouble"She said not wanting to beat around the bush

 

"now please don't panic' said said quickly as she realized that Rithul was going to ask her more questions after her conclusive statement.

 

'That boy, his name is Roney. He is '. Amm

He wants'

He might cause'.more'.harm' Said sana. She could not believe that she is actually discussing such a matter with him. Her work partner? And that too about his sister?

 

'Sana I am not able to understand. Please jo bhi hai aap mujhe batayiye. I know it might be awkward probably hard for you to talk to me in light of our current understanding with each other. But please can you put aside for a moment that, we are working together, and see me as a friend? Said Rithul in an understanding tone trying his best to clear the air and ease the situation for her

 

'friend?' said Sana with a slight gesture of shock in her tone.

 

 

'amm'ok Idha's brother' please..' He asked gently

 

'OK , That boy did try to make a pass at her and I think he also did do 'more than that. Forced her'

amm..

If you know what I mean'she said

 

"WHAT?

 

"Oh no 'no.. nothing like that. Mr. Mehra' " she quickly retorted..

 

Sana took a deep breath

"The bottom line is. He tried to force himself upon her and since that did not happen , he has threatened her. Now, Please calm down' said Sana as she saw Rithul's face change its color drastically

 

" I could not tell any of your other family members what she confided in me because , I do not know them and secondly I do not think they would want to hear this. So now , I would suggest that you go with your father tomorrow and make sure that he is calm there" Said Sana with a confident tone

 

'what do you mean?' asked Rithul

 

'Such 'creeps' can go to any lengths if they are not handled properly. I know , I have seen them, and unfortunately dealt with them. If your father looses his temper as he did today he can cause more harm than good.

 

I am sorry to say this but, Idha is broken now. She is loosing her self confidence and is afraid , embarrassed, scared about tomorrow and God Knows what not'

 

'She is a 16 year old girl and is at a very , very crucial stage of her life. So please make sure that her confidence is not put at stake tomorrow' She said

 

'amm confidence. Why would that happen? Amm'I' I am sorry, I am not able to understand' said Rithul looking confused

 

' She is afraid that her father will take her out of college and her career will be gone and if she does go back to her college then that boy will hurt her'

 

"oh" said Rithul

 

"So , I suggest that you do what ever you can to first not take her out of her college" Said Sana

 

" ammm ' we will put her in another college" said Rithul thinking

 

' that is not a solution. Do you think the other college will not have creeps like Roney?' asked Sana

 

'Exactly!' Said sana when she saw that Rithul did not have an answer for her question.

 

'what if we change her to an all girls college" suggested Rithul

 

"that might be a temporary solution but that's not an answer. Her college is offering what she wants to do and is the best probably in that field. Isn't that why she joined there in the first place?" asked Sana

 

"Yes" said Rithul

 

" Then why punish her for something she did not do. Its not about studies or about college. Its about what's right and what's wrong. She did not do anything so please, again, do not ever make her feel that she is responsible for what ever she is going through today. " Said Sana

 

" I understand. " said Rithul thinking into her words

 

" Secondly, please contact this boys parents and let them know about what this boy is doing prior to the meeting tomorrow. If they seem like reasonable people. Of course there are parents out there who will hide every crime their child commits' said Sana

 

"why do you suggest that?' asked Rithul

 

" because, if his parents are caring enough , reasonable enough , or probably have a daughter of their own then they will stop him. A pressure from home can be effective." Said Sana

 

"and hopefully tomorrow , there will be some mature discussion and they will kick that creep out of school. Idha cannot stay in the same college as him. He can do anything to her." Said Sana with a tone of warning.

 

Rithul looked at her and thought about what she said.

 

"That's all I need to say" Said Sana giving him one last glance and turning back to her computer.

 

'Thanks' said Rithul

 

"Sure, welcome.. " said Sana nodding her head and looking back at her screen once again

Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 13 years ago

fantastic......this is amazing suchitra ji.......it just gets better and better.......cant wait to see what happens next....and how they get sana and rithul married.