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Chaand Chupa Badal Mein

Family Waves The First Move s2 page17

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:19am | IP Logged
Hi all,
Thanks to many here I am have started to write a small story. Hopefully you will all like the characters and associate with them, feel their emotions and relate with their experiences.



Family Waves :


Chapter 1 : Wedding Night
Scene 1 and 2 - Page 1

Chapter 2: The First Meet
Scene 1  Page 1
Scene 2  Page 2
Scene 3 Page 3

Chapter 3: The Clash
Scene 1 Page 3
Scene  2 Page 4

Chapter 4: The Family
Scene 1 and 2 page 6
Scene 3, 4  page 6
Scene 5 Page 7

Chapter 5: The Blow
Scene 1 Page 7
Scene 2 Page 8
Scene 3 Page 9
Scene 4 Page 9

Chapter 6: Boys will be Boys
Scene 1 Page 10
Scene 2 Page 11
Scene 3 Page 12
Scene 4 Page 12

Chapter 7 : Boy Likes Gun
Scene 1&2 Page 13

Chapter 8: The Return
Scene 1 and 2 and 3 Page 14

Chapter 9: Mom meets Mom
Scene 1 and 2 Page 14
Scene 3 and 4 Page 15

Chapter 10: Out in the Open
Scene 1 and 2 Page 15
Scene 3 Page 16

Chapter 11: The First Move
Scene 1 Page 16
Scene 2 Page 17



Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 05 February 2011 at 7:16pm

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Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:23am | IP Logged
Chapter 1
The First Ripple


Scene 1

"Are ja naa, ithna sharma kiyun raha hai thu." Laughed Shravan


"Bhaiyah, kithnay dinon kay baad aapki ye tamanna puri hui hai aaj. Andhar jaker hum sabko bhul na jana," added young Idha, with an injured sniff.


"Ye sahih kaha thune idhi, is nikammay ka koi bharosa nahi," said shravan, thoughtfully


"Aap log is becharay ko tang kerna band karengay, ya main abhi ma ko bulaun?" Said Naina gruffly.


"Aur ye devarji kahan gaye? thumnay dekha unko idha?" She added, looking around with an air of suspicion.

 

"Bhabi, aap hi nay tho use beja tha na' Market?" reminded Idha.

Are han! said naina with smacking herself on her forehead.

 

"Bhabi' main andhar jaaun"? Asked Rithul, who seemed to have appeared out of thin air.


If the huge money tree plant, which conveniently stood in front of his room's entrance, had been removed, then the disappearing and reappearing act of Rithul would seem more convincing.


Nobody spoke for few seconds; then naina spoke with a commanding tone,


"Rithul thum andhar jao. Main in sabhko yahan sey rafa dafa kerthi hun"


Abh chalo, rasta khali karo thum sabh," said Naina as she grabbed Shravan's and Idha 's Hands

 

As the three headed towards the stairs, the heavily carved antique door came to the view.


Scene 2


The fragrance of freshly pricked flowers came gushing forth as he opened the door.


His face brightened at the sight of his wife, who was sitting on the bedspread of rose petals. He noticed that she was resting her back on the pillows that were propped up against the headboard and completely immersed in what seemed like a thick novel.


Every inch of his room clamored luxury. Be that the expensive art that glorified the walls, the brightly lit chandelier or the comfortable leather couches that stood alone in the corner.


Sana seemed to be unaware of her surroundings as she patiently turned the page of her book. Her lama silk white lehenga that was highly designed with floral embroidery and embellished with pearls seemed to irk her as she changed her sitting position now so frequently than she would have done under normal circumstances.


It would seem quite unusual for a bride to be reading a book on her wedding night, but then again, what would one do if they had to wait two whole hours for their groom?


The sound of the closing doors must have been too low or perhaps she was so engrossed in her book that she did not notice Rithul standing besides her.


"H.hi "said Rithul as he cleared his throat, as if trying to forcefully push sounds out of this throat.


"Please, utiye math" he stammered quickly


Sana looked at him, her twinkling light brown eyes reflected confusion, for she was just trying to adjust her sitting position. He must have mistaken her discomfort for a sign of respect. She decided to let it pass.


"I am sorry mujhe dair ho gayi. Neechay saray mehmaanon nay gher liya tha aur bhaiyah ko tho aap janthi hain, koi mauka nahi chorthay' amm.. appnay kuch khaya?" said Rithul -all in one breath


" No" Said Sana softly as she pulled the fauz gorgette duppata closer to her, trying to create space between them.


Rithul looked around hoping that one of his expensive art collections would give him inspiration but they stood, inanimate, only to increase his temporary blankness.


"Main aapkay liye gift leker aaya hun..e.ek min" Rithul stood up quickly and rushed towards his closet.


After a lot of pulling and placing, he turned around. His hands now carried velvet covered box.


"a...am Sana, Ye aapke liye" he said


"Thank you" she replied after opening the box and finding a Three Stone Pave Diamond Ring peeking graciously from the box.


"main pehna dun" he asked sheepishly as he sat besides her.


Sana returned the ring and extended her hands patiently waiting for him to put the ring on her finger.


She had a forced expression on her face that neither reflected desire nor happiness.

Rithul decided to ignore it. They did have a huge and extremely tiring wedding. She must be exhausted, he reasoned with himself. 


He placed the ring on her finger and looked at her hopefully to gain some hint of approval, but he noticed her eyes flicker back and forth at the clock on the wall.


"Sana, Shayad aap thak gayi hain. Aap araam ker lijiye main abhi atha hun" said Rithul unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.


In spite of the cold attitude, Sana had a sweet and pious nature, which unconsciously influenced people around her, especially Rithul, who loved her very tenderly.


"mujhe change kerna hai" she said getting up and heading towards her suitcase.


In a few minutes, she came out of the attached washroom, dressed in a light blue Salwar suite, looking like herself. The lack of heavy jewelry and bridal wear must have lightened her spirits, as there was a noticeable skip in her steps.


Sana looked around the room searching for Rithul and found the room, once again empty. She made herself comfortable on the bed and continued reading the book from where she had left off. 


Rithul returned an hour later and saw Sana fast asleep. The book was open and was holding on to the edges of her fingers.


He looked at her calm and sweet face "pure as a child" he said to himself as he took the book away from her and placed it on the side table. He covered her with the blanket and then lay on the bed besides her, looked up at the ceiling, lost in thoughts.

 

Next Chapter "First Meet"



Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 14 January 2011 at 10:04pm

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prajee Senior Member
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prajee

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Posts: 603

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:32am | IP Logged
Wow Suchi... really a good start... wonderful.... :)
waiting eagerly for the next part.... :)

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Suchi-

anjubala IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 25 July 2005
Posts: 6613

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:34am | IP Logged
Suchi, this is fabulous.. The introduction in scene 1 was great and I loved scene 2. How do you do this? How do you explain the feelings and emotions and what a person might be thinking? I loved it. Please keep writing.

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gmann2010 IF-Dazzler
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Posts: 3677

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:43am | IP Logged
Fantastic Suchi. When I read the first scene I kept thinking that where these all people are sending this guy. But then read the next scene and I was like Awwwww Embarrassed Both scene were beautifully written. I am already loving brothers' bond and devar-bhabhi nok-jhok. Waiting for next chapter.  

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lams Goldie
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Posts: 1315

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 11:52am | IP Logged
wow awesome suchi di ....loved it ....yeah we made a writer out of suchi di ...now we need to get you a publisher ..

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Suchi-

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 1:40pm | IP Logged
Chapter 2

First meet


"Lekin parivar, ghar, bachay ye sabh bhi tho important hai" said Sana, her voice confident and calm.


"manthi hun, lekin ye kehna ki aurat ghar per hi rahegi, bachay sambhalnay ke liye ya, ghar saaf rakhnay ke liye , ya ek machine ki tarah kaam kernay ke liye, tho kya ye sahih hai? Kya yahi astitv reh gaya hai aurat ka?" argued sapna


The scorching summer heat and the clear cloudless sky did not seem to exhaust the two girls, who were passionately discussing a newspaper article that talked about a particular case related with woman's rights


The horn of the incoming bus distracted them momentarily but they continued their conversation once they looked at the number.


"Zimmedari sambhalna, weakness nahi hothi. We have to choose the middle way! Main ye nahi kehthi ki aurat ko ghar per hi baitna chahiye ya, voh ek bachay banay ki machine hai ya ghar ki char divaar main seemit rehna chahiye' nahi. Main kehthi hun ki agar koi aurat aisa kerna chahthi hai, tho usko neechi nazron sey nahi dekhna chahiye" explained Sana, glancing at the road to see if the next bus had arrived.


" Kya ma banna buri cheez hai? Isn't it the noblest of feeling? That you are giving birth to a new life?"


 

"han ..lekin"

 

"the middle path is the right path. Everyone has rights. Ek ko rights denay ke liye hum dusray ka rights kaise cheen sakthay hain? Agar voh maa kaam kerna chahthi hai tho ofcourse karay , ismay koi dikkath nahi hai lekin, she has to make sure that her child is not suffering due to her lack of presence in his life" Continued Sana in a commanding tone.


" ok maan liya, tho kya husband ka koi'. I mean father ka koi responsibility nahi hai. Shouldn't he help out?" argued Sapna as she pointed at the man in the article who had allegedly taken his wife's certifications in order to prevent her from applying for any job.


" lekin us aurat nay abhi bachay janay hain , tho naturally she has to take care of them. Aur whats the need for her to work. Uska husband kama raha hai na" interrupted Rithul, who was listening in to their conversation.


Sana gave him a disgusted look, the sort that you give when you look at a rat.


" Excuse me..for your information, the man isn't working. He just lost his job and agar voh kaam bhi ker raha hotha , tho bhi uski aamdani ithni nahi thi ki voh uskay bachay ko do waqt ka khana de sakay.


They were in huge debt and were facing serious financial crisis and that is why she took that decision. Aurat , specially ma, kabhi bhi nahi chahegi ki voh apnay bachay sey , voh bhi doodh pethay bachay sey ek pal ke liye bhi door rahe lekin jab museebat aathi hai, tho usko bhi agaay barker apnay kandhon main bhoj lena atha hai. " shot back Sana with dignity.


Just then another bus arrived


"chal sana," said sapna as she grabbed Sana's hand dragging her into the bus


She refused to remove her sight from his face.


"How dare he" spitted Sana, as she sat down besides the window seat, still glaring at Rithul whose eyes were fixed on her.


"Janay de na, pata nahi kon pagal hai" reasoned sapna


"aur vaise bhi, jo main keh rahi thi, thunay bhi tho vahi kaha usko. Tho mujhe kiyun lecture de rahi thi" questioned Sapna mockingly


"Nahi, uska kuch aur matlab tha aur tera kuch aur. He is one extreme and you are another" said Sana, finally looking away from him afraid that her anger might get the better of her.

 

"Thum janthi ho usko?" asked Sapna, now trying to peep from the window of the moving bus , trying to get a final glance the stranger.


"kon? Oh God , as if! Please lets talk about something else" Scoffed Sana


 

Rithul! Thum yahan kaise aa gaye ?, voh bhi bus station per? gadi kahan hai thumhari shouted Shravan as he opened his car window.


Rithul was still looking at the air that had just managed to vanish the most astonishing sight , he had ever seen.


"Oh my GOD, bhaiiyyah, bhaiiiyyhhhh' jaldi chalo , chalo'." Screamed Rithul as if coming out of a trance. He rushed into the car and pointed towards direction at which the bus had just left.


k..kiyun kya hua.. sabh teek tho hai naa' stammered Shravan with a worried expression. He had never seen Rithul behave in such manner.


Kisi nay thumari gadi chura li kya? Driver nay tho ye nahi bataya' he continued confused.


"Bhaiyyah please don't argue.. chalo varna voh chali jayegi. Come on pleasee" exclaimed Rithul with a frenzied expression etched across his face.


With out uttering another word shravan took off at the direction in which Rithul pointed.  




Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 13 January 2011 at 1:47pm

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anjubala IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 2:16pm | IP Logged
Hmmm, love at first sight for Rithul... good going Suchi.

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