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Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai
Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai

personal issues and Indian homes (Page 2)

moonlight08 IF-Rockerz

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 4:54am | IP Logged
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Madhavi_Di Goldie
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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 5:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by moonlight08

if the question is about existance of such families.. unfortunately.. the answer is yes.. they definitely do.. my family being one of them.. and that is the primary reason why i relate to the show more than anyone else..
 
rajasthan has always been very conservative state.. touching feet of elders 7 times everyday.. taking ghunghat in front of elders.. sacrifices of a bahu in order to keep a family together (even if it is against her husband's wish) is nothing new there.. a woman or a bahu doesn't have a life there.. especially wen she is living in a joint family which is headed by a strict patriarch.. itz sad but bitter truth about rajasthani culture.. in punjabi culture.. there's a lot more freedom.. women and their work is respected.. but sadly.. in rajasthan.. it is not so.. it is in true sense - a male dominated society..
 
yes.. in the serial.. these things are very much exaggerated.. but the basic concept still remains the same.. a woman has to sacrifice no matter wat.. n we cant really change it..

SO  TRUE. it  remined  my  dadi   she  from  my  childhood  always  keep saying  learn  this  and  that  , ke  sasural  jakar  kya  karogi, and  always  more  expectation from  girl  and  bahu  more  than  a  boy  . we  always  get  mad  at  my  brother  for  the  same  resone. that  he  got  more  attention  good  food  and  all  the  time  pampard  than  us. and  nothing  changed  after  marraige  also  expectation  form  in-law and  hubby  also. one  thing  is  true  it is  hard  to  stay  with  in laws  24/7. its  does  not  matter  how  hard  you  try  can  never  make every one   happy   . and  same  time  they  try  to  take  there  son  on  thair  side  , and  one  thing  no  one  is  like  NAITIK  . i  am  still  trying  hard  after  17years. and  in  USA.  indian  mantaliti  never  change  i  gess . i  still  have  HOPE  one  day  will  come  which  will  be  my  day.


Edited by madhaviben - 13 January 2011 at 5:45am

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 5:50am | IP Logged
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Madhavi_Diblack.swan

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 6:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by madhaviben

Originally posted by moonlight08

if the question is about existance of such families.. unfortunately.. the answer is yes.. they definitely do.. my family being one of them.. and that is the primary reason why i relate to the show more than anyone else..
 
rajasthan has always been very conservative state.. touching feet of elders 7 times everyday.. taking ghunghat in front of elders.. sacrifices of a bahu in order to keep a family together (even if it is against her husband's wish) is nothing new there.. a woman or a bahu doesn't have a life there.. especially wen she is living in a joint family which is headed by a strict patriarch.. itz sad but bitter truth about rajasthani culture.. in punjabi culture.. there's a lot more freedom.. women and their work is respected.. but sadly.. in rajasthan.. it is not so.. it is in true sense - a male dominated society..
 
yes.. in the serial.. these things are very much exaggerated.. but the basic concept still remains the same.. a woman has to sacrifice no matter wat.. n we cant really change it..

SO  TRUE. it  remined  my  dadi   she  from  my  childhood  always  keep saying  learn  this  and  that  , ke  sasural  jakar  kya  karogi, and  always  more  expectation from  girl  and  bahu  more  than  a  boy  . we  always  get  mad  at  my  brother  for  the  same  resone. that  he  got  more  attention  good  food  and  all  the  time  pampard  than  us. and  nothing  changed  after  marraige  also  expectation  form  in-law and  hubby  also. one  thing  is  true  it is  hard  to  stay  with  in laws  24/7. its  does  not  matter  how  hard  you  try  can  never  make every one   happy   . and  same  time  they  try  to  take  there  son  on  thair  side  , and  one  thing  no  one  is  like  NAITIK  . i  am  still  trying  hard  after  17years. and  in  USA.  indian  mantaliti  never  change  i  gess . i  still  have  HOPE  one  day  will  come  which  will  be  my  day.

again awesome post kaumudi.. u are seriously inspiring me these days...Clap Clap n i also agree wid madhavi...Cry i  myself being marwadi relate to this show very much.. its sad to admit but characters protrayed in this show  like nani, baisa, n even dadi are very much real n do exit in our community...girls are not given that much liberty as compared to guys.. family's expectations are always higher on girls like they need to look good, cook well, speak softly, should keep fast for gud husband, should play a role model of good daughter, wife, DIl, n even mother...Deadright from their childhood they are refrain from getting good education, going out alone even for a movie its a big deal for them, in short they are trained to be dependent on their spouse for every small things..Angry but i do feel this trend is changing slowly for the better.. their mentality is growing wider with changing time ...i hope it improves faster with the present scenario.. Big smile

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 6:07am | IP Logged
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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 6:30am | IP Logged
 
Originally posted by moonlight08

Originally posted by gutky


again awesome post kaumudi.. u are seriously inspiring me these days...Clap Clap n i also agree wid madhavi...Cry i  myself being marwadi relate to this show very much.. its sad to admit but characters protrayed in this show  like nani, baisa, n even dadi are very much real n do exit in our community...girls are not given that much liberty as compared to guys.. family's expectations are always higher on girls like they need to look good, cook well, speak softly, should keep fast for gud husband, should play a role model of good daughter, wife, DIl, n even mother...Deadright from their childhood they are refrain from getting good education, going out alone even for a movie its a big deal for them, in short they are trained to be dependent on their spouse for every small things..Angry but i do feel this trend is changing slowly for the better.. their mentality is growing wider with changing time ...i hope it improves faster with the present scenario.. Big smile
ah.. im honoured di.!!!! thanx for this.. these are just feeling taking form of words.. nothing else.!!
well.. neways.. u r rite.. the trend is changing.. but.. it is on a very slow pace.. n there are still miles to go before we actually call ourselves "modern" and at pace with other cultures.. not the western culture specifically.. but the other indian cultures as well.. lyk the maharashtrian and the punjabi culture.. ppl.. especially women are at much more ease when we look at them.. the ppl are not very stringent when it cumz to following rules.. unlike in rajasthani culture.. where ghunghat na rakho to bus.. aasman hi gir padega abhi.!!

ROFL i understand ur emotions but all these things happens in remote Rajasthan ... in metropolitan cities girls are equally important ..in fact they are turning out to be better than men in each field.. be it education, career, health etc... yaah some sorts of restrictions are still prevalent but i think that can be easily ignored...Big smile coming to the point since the show is based on rural udaipur in rajasthan.. its very much real n hence many ppl relate to this show very easily.. but also the show highlights on marwadi culture n tradition with their beautiful songs, their big houses, plot, eating habits, etc..in the end makes the show worth watching...LOL 


Edited by gutky - 13 January 2011 at 6:33am

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Madhavi_Diblack.swanmoonlight08

Polki_Zofi Senior Member
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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 8:24am | IP Logged

Some of you mentioned it right, to my experience I did find Indian family to be a lot lot LOT less conservative. But my mother in law wears that saree so neatly, and I don't mind at all to touch her feet on special occasions as per the local custom which he taught me. I think we all need to make adjustments it we want a relationship to last. She is very kind to me, and he have always been beside me.

But my sister in law is a very obedient and sweet girl who is looking forward to her marriage, even though once she told me how much she wanted to pursue an MBA before any thing such as marriage. It is ofcourse an arranged marriage which is not exactly obsolete (as generally believed in India) in Europe. Atleast not in Poland, where relatives like aunts sometimes get involved in fixing a date for their neices or nephews, ofcourse the decision to get married depends on the girl and the boy. It is something like the arranged marriage, but not like the Indian one where the girl seemed to have no other choice but to say "yes" or "no". The marriage she must to to the correct caste (... which is quite an irony because I'm a caucasian white catholic and definitely not on the right caste, not that I complain or try to make her look at this example, but it does naturally occur to my mind), correct financial background, correct date, correct religion! The "Correct" is ofcourse the decision of my mother in law (she is very sweet though) and my father in law (who is a wonderful man, but his word seems to be the last Smile).

I think in a marriage everyone must come to some adjustment. It cannot only come from the Newly Wedded Wife, the adjustment must also come from the man, the parents of both the families. Otherwise how will everyone be happy? ... Is it not what all these people are looking for? They keep chanting the eternal search for "Happiness". How can there be complete happiness without the joy of Akshara?

No she never complains, maybe thats why I thought she just let herself sink deeper into this submission. Sometimes we must say "I'm sorry, I can't". There is no harm is there?

About liberty of women: I know that we all have limits. I respect the Indian ways, and I myself wish to put my family first before anything. Fortunately the man I have loved is someone who I can trust and is a sincere man. I don't need to do one job, but if I must then I will have an option open. Because sometimes it can become necessary.

I was surprised how the oldest man in the home got annoyed when he saw Akshara driving.

I never say these things which I am saying here to my in laws (I dun want to be "Oh that loud mouth white girl!" LOL). Just sometimes to my sister in law share with me and I share too, she is like a friend.

By the way, I was never really asked to do so much as Akshara. Infact the family in which I live also love the tradition alot. I do try and help my inlaw in the kitchen too, but she takes it easy with me Tongue. Which is good, maybe they have lot less expectation as they would from an Indian girl. But love is there, I can feel it.

I can see so much expectation of obedience from my sister in law. Which is, ok. I cannot say much, I definitely dont want to create a mess for the family, myself or most importantly him! But this should change soon surely. A girl, no matter where she is from, gives in a lot she enters a marriage.

By the way my husband is original of Delhi, so I guess its not Rajasthan culture? It is different everywhere? Different by huge margins or less? I was told less ... but it sounds from you guys that its huge!
Confused



Edited by Polki_Zofi - 13 January 2011 at 8:27am

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