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~Beautiful Sin~SidShi FF: Chapter 30//Pg 108 (Page 41)

sidsk IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 September 2006
Posts: 11729

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 9:08am | IP Logged
Thank you so much everyone fro reading and commenting! I couldnt reply to all the comments this time but I have read each one of them and they mean a lot. Thnx sorry for the delay in updates.

Chapter 15


Numbness took over his body as he stared at the woman in front of him.
He had seen a few glimpses of her every now and then but had never come face to face with her.....he hadnt even wanted to.
She had not changed at all.
The same beautiful face......that had deceived him so brilliantly.
The same innocent eyes....that had manipulated him so superbly into building so many hopes and dreams.
Why was she here?
Why had she come to him after so long?
I have insulted our marriage,our relationship but most of all I have broken your faith in me...
It was just a weak moment...please! I stopped before things got out of was the sight of your bracelet that made me stop.

The words echoed harshly in his ears.
His eyes hardened.
"How are you Sid?", she asked in a quiet tone.
There was a time when that voice had been the music of his life.
Anger raged within him as the sight of her face slowly and painfully opened up all his old wounds.
"I am fine Dr. Gupta.....Is there anything I can help you with?"
"Sid......I know we parted on bad terms but that doesnt erase the wonderful bond we shared...."
Sid remained silent. He really couldnt understand why she was here talking to him.
"Sid I.....", Riddhima paused, "I miss you Sid...I miss our friendship. I know this sounds very weird coming from me after so many years....I know a lot has changed. But I just want to know how you are doing. Its too late but I wanted to see if you are fine."
He simply looked at her for a few seconds.
She felt as if his eyes were looking deep into her soul as they always had before.
"You needn't worry for me Riddhima".
She felt a pleasant feeling rise within her hearing him voice her name after ages.
"You weren't bothered when we were married so why all this sudden concern now?"
Riddhima swallowed, her throat dry, and looked away.
"It wasnt like that matter what I always cared for you...I..."
"No never cared about me.I was only a obligation that you were trying to fulfill."
She looked at his eyes and was suddenly struck by how much he had changed.
Even when they had hated each other in the beginning, he had never looked at her with so much coldness.
Riddhima shook her head and tried to speak but no words came to her.
What could she even say.....
She had nothing to justify herself...because deep down she knew he was right...but she wasnt ready to admit it.
"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go", he said getting in the car.
She wanted to stop him but somehow couldnt.
The tyres screeched as he sped the car away.
As she looked at the fast disappearing car with a crestfallen look, a bitter fact agonized her.
This wasnt the Sid she knew.

Standing inside the entrance, Shilpa had watched the whole scene through the glass doors.
Her heart almost in her throat, she turned and walked back further into the hospital.
She kept a blank face as people passed her and tried very hard to ignore the anguish running within her.


She stared randomly at the wall in front of her, having completely forgotten about the water boiling behind her.
Riddhima, Sid, Riddhima, Sid, Riddhima, Sid....................
The words played like a broken tape inside her head.
The water bubbled over the surface of the vessel and splashed on the back of her right hand.
She was brutally brought out of her reverie as her hand throbbed with a stinging sensation, tears springing into her eyes because of the pain.
Putting off the stove, she quickly headed towards the bathroom.
She opened the tap and let the cold water run over her hand....a deep purple scar had already begun to form.
Great, she thought, just what I need three days before the pageant.
She looked up and caught her reflection in the little mirror in front of her.
A melancholic face stared back at her.
Her eyes widened...........for a second she almost didnt recognize herself......she looked so distressed.
Her eyes glittered with moisture which caused her image in the mirror to blur for a few seconds and she saw a vision of Sid and Riddhima from earlier that day.
What were they talking about?
What had made Riddhima come to him?
She blinked and found her reflection in front of her again.
Her tired eyes stared back at her, an evidence of how disturbed she was.
Her feelings for Sid, continuously hiding them and herself from him, the fact that she was setting herself up for a loveless marriage, seeing Riddhima with Sid again after so many years.........everything was taking a toll on her.
She looked into the depths of the mirror to search for the once lively girl that had stood in her place...content with her life.
And now it seemed everything was messed up royally.
She had never expected a person like Riddhima to face her past after so many years.
She shook her head to get rid of her thoughts.
She knew it was not going to do her any good thinking about them.
Closing the water tap, she moved out of the bathroom and sat on her bed.
What was the point in thinking and tormenting herself about all these things?
The fact was that Sid had loved Riddhima with a devotion that she had never witnessed before....and she wasnt stupid enough to assume that Sid had gotten over Riddhima.
Riddhima had been his love, his life, his strength, his weakness....she had been his whole world.
And that kind of love doesnt just go away so easily.
From the looks of it , it seemed that Riddhima was back in his life.
Her mind raced with the possibilities of what could happen now.
Whatever happened though, it was she who was going to suffer.
Whatever the consequence, she was going to have to deal with the fact that she might not have Sid so close to her as she did now.


Next day.........

As soon as her last patient of the day walked out, Shilpa sat back in her chair and closed her eyes, completely exhausted.
She had been swarmed with so many patients that she didnt even get a chance to eat anything the whole day.
Getting up, she started to clear her table which had turned into a complete mess.
She was almost done when suddenly her door was burst open.
She looked up to see a heavily panting Naina and a frowning Sid.
"What happened?" , she asked alarmed, "Is everyone alright?"
"Shilpa...." Naina tried to calm her breathing, " Why do you think tragedy has struck somewhere just because Sid and I have come rushing into your office?"
Slightly annoyed at herself for overreacting, Shilpa focused on Naina and tried not to look at Sid.
He hadnt mentioned anything about Riddhima yet and that hurt her....a little.
But then again, it was a completely different story that they hadnt spoken to each other properly since the last few days.
"I need a favour...I need you and Sid to run an errand for me."
No, no....she thought.
Things were simply too awkward between them right now. Remembering the hurt in his eyes yesterday , she was sure that he wouldnt want to go anywhere with her.
"The flower coordinators are having a bit of a confusion. I need you to go to the Flora Emporium and explain a few things to them. I cant go because I have too many appointments today. Sid cant go alone because he doesnt know all the details but you do. And you cant go alone because you dont know where it is but Sid you both have to go together."
You fail miserably at discretion Mrs. Oberoi, Naina told herself.
Shilpa momentarily looked away from Naina as her mind came up with a hundred excuses of escaping this...but she pushed them all away.
She had run enough now....more than him, it was her own self she was running from.
And now it had to stop.
She didnt know what the future held for them but she was not going to let any chance, of simply being by his side, escape form her hands.
"Sure Naina......what exactly do I have to tell them?"
Naina smiled widely in relief...she had been sure that Shilpa was going to refuse.
Sid must have thought the same thing too, Naina thought, because the frown marring his forehead had eased away and he looked mildly surprised.
"Thank you so much! You both are my life savers. Now I want you to tell them that........................"


Shilpa quietly followed Sid as they walked out of the hospital and towards his car.
All these days she had been using her own car to travel to the hospital.
And now, as he opened the door for her, she was assaulted by severe guilt at her actions.
She had truly left him alone only because of her own selfish reasons.
As she got into the car, his phone rang.
He turned away to receive the call and she quickly opened the the glove compartment in front of her.
She spotted a box of Runts sitting there.
Sid always kept a of box of those candies in his car because he knew she loved munching on them while traveling.
The sight of it sitting there innocently, even when she had not traveled with him since the last few days, filled her with such an intense emotion that she felt like crying.
She quickly closed the glove box before Sid saw her.
But, unknown to her, he had seen her.
He shook his head at her...she was behaving like a small girl.
Taking a deep breath, he got into the car and drove away from Sanjeevani.


A thick silence persisted in the thick a knife could slice through it.
She kept her eyes turned towards the window trying very hard not to look towards her right.
White had always been Sid's did wonders in bringing out the beauty of his dark eyes.
And right now, sitting next to her in a white button up shirt and black denims, with his sleeves rolled above his elbows, he was doing a fine job in throwing her into a complete daze......unknowingly of course.

His mind thought of various ways of starting up a conversation but they didnt make it to his lips.
Since when had things turned so uncomfortable between them?
This was Shilpa.......why did he even have to find ways to talk to her?
They could understand each other even without saying a word.
He kept glancing at her every now and then.
Her fingers were fiddling with the ends of her stole........she always did that when she nervous.
Was she preoccupied about something?.....or was he making nervous?
Dont be silly Sid....why would she be nervous of you?
He observed her discreetly.
Red had always been her favorite colour. Dressed in blue denims and a red sleeveless kurti, she looked more like a college student than a pediatrician.
His heart suddenly filled with affection for her.
No matter what happened, he was certain the she was the one constant in his life that would never change.
The thought calmed his mind which had been in a perpetual state of unrest since his encounter with Riddhima.
Why....why had she come to him now that he had learned to live without her?
When he had walked away form her, he had hoped never to meet her again........
Long-buried, painful questions were rising within him which he had hoped never to face again.
Only Shilpa could put his unease to rest......he wanted to talk about it to her but he didnt how to start given their current status.

Before they knew it, they reached the emporium.
Stopping the car, he turned of the engine and said, "You go on.'
Shilpa didnt ask him to come inside with her....she knew he wouldnt.
This was the same place from where he used to buy flowers for Riddhima.
That name hung like a huge pendulum between them.
She was about to get out of the car when suddenly he grasped her hand.
Tiny bolts of electricity shot up her arm from where his hand was holding hers.
His finger traced her bruise........his touch as soft as a feather.
"What happened?', he asked looking intently at her wound.
She tried to find her voice.
" know how clumsy I am.......I accidentally dropped some hot water on my hand."
She couldnt tell him that she had been musing about him and Riddhima.
He let go of her hand and nodded.
Getting out of the car, she inhaled the fresh air to calm her traitorous nerves.
Honestly are acting like a teenager. He has held your hand many times before.
But it had never felt like this before,
her inner voice spoke up.
She shook her head......Great! Now I am talking to myself.
Walking inside the greenhouse-like shop, she was instantly hit by a hundred different fragrances.
She smiled to herself, her worries temporarily gone.


Walking randomly around the area, she picked up a few flowers for herself...........she was so lost in the beauty surrounding her that she didnt notice a man staring unabashedly at her.
He moved behind two big flower pots so that he watch her without her awareness.
She picked out a red rose, the colour matching what she was wearing.
A smile appeared on his face......she had always looked good in red, he thought to himself.
She seemed to be in her own world as could be made out by the smile on her face.
A thorn pricked his finger, which had involuntarily touched the flowers in front of him, reminding the reason he was here.
What was he doing?
He had come here to get some flowers for Riddhima who happened to be waiting outside for him.
He shook his head and looked up to see that Shilpa had disappeared.
He looked around but couldnt spot her anywhere.
It was better that way, he thought.
Every time she came in front of him, she was making him feel things he shouldn't be feeling....she was reminding him of how it had felt when he had first fallen in love with Riddhima.
What did that mean?
Holding Riddhima's bouquet in his hand, he walked to the counter to find Shilpa talking to the owner of the emporium.
There was no other customer in sight....he had to go stand behind her.
He had just reached her when all of sudden she turned.
Her eyes widened.


Riddhima got out of the car wondering why it was taking Armaan so long.
She was debating whether to go inside and check on him or not when suddenly she spotted a man a few feet ahead of her on the opposite side of the road.
Her heart swelled with excitement.
He was leaning on his car, his dark head turned away from her, looking at something.
She didnt know why she felt so excited to see him.........her feet had taken one step towards him when suddenly she stopped.
Her fingers crushed her dupatta, desperation coursing through her.
She wanted to go talk to Sid but Armaan would come out any minute........
She heard the far away horn of an approaching truck and an idea struck her.
It was dangerous and stupid but she had to find out.
No matter what the situation he had always saved her....he had always come to her whenever she had found herself in trouble.
A determined look came into her eyes.
He would come to her today too.......she was sure of it.
Suddenly he turned and looked directly at her.


For a few seconds they simply looked at one another.
After the initial shock wore off, Shilpa discovered that she felt nothing but a small amount of surprise at seeing him after so long.
That meant he was finally out of her system.
She felt satisfied that she had finally grown out of the rejection he had gifted her.
"How are you Shilpa?"
She raised her eyebrows....was he actually talking to her?
She had assumed that he wouldnt want to considering the way she had mocked him in the last conversation that had occurred between them six years back.
A detached look came over face.
"I am fabulous", she replied with as much attitude she could muster.
He smiled. "That's good to know. I am happy to hear that."
"Are you really?", she tilted her head at him surprised to find genuineness in his eyes.
He felt uneasy at the cold vibes coming from her. "Look Shilpa..... I know its too late but I.......I am extremely sorry for the way I behaved with you. I........what I did was inexcusable."
She couldnt say she didnt feel satisfaction at the sight of guilt on his face. But at the time she was curious to know why he was apologizing to her now...when so much time had passed.
"It is weird hearing this from you Armaan..........I have long forgotten you."
He didnt know why he felt so disheartened hearing that she had forgotten about him.
"Now if you'll excuse me.......I have to go. Sid is waiting for me outside."
She walked away from him and he felt an indescribable fury rise within him upon hearing that name.
Sid.......Siddhant Modi.
He hated that name.
"Are you going to buy those, Sir?
He came out of his angry bubble and proceeded to pay for his purchase.


It was like history was repeating itself.
They both were standing on the opposite sides of the road.
They both were wearing the same colours they had worn that day in Panchgani when he had saved her from being trampled by a truck.
She slowly started walking on the road, purposely diverting her eyes away from him making it seem as if she was heading towards the fruit juice stall opposite her.

Sid watched confused as she stopped right in the middle of the road and searched for something in her purse.
What did she think she was doing?
He spotted the truck making its way towards them.
But she didnt seem aware of it.
Nostalgia hit him like a brick as he was assaulted by the memory of that fateful day when he had saved her in Panchgani.
Suddenly he saw Shilpa exit the shop and walk towards him.
One hand was holding her phone to her ear and the other was covering her other ear to hear the person she was talking to.
She seemed completely unaware of the continuous honking of the now fast approaching truck.
He felt as if his insides had frozen.
His vision blurred till Shilpa and Riddhima were just two red patches before his eyes.
It was as if his whole body was paralyzed.
Images flashed before his eyes........saving Riddhima from that truck, saving Riddhima from the goons that had attacked them in the jungle, saving Riddhima from freezing to death by transferring his body heat, saving Riddhima after she had consumed poison on their wedding day..............
He was gripped by the same fear that he had always felt whenever Riddhima was in danger......the same fear that had always clutched him at the thought that something could happen to her.....the loss he would feel if something were to happen to her.......
Propelled by that thought, he felt life come back to his limbs.
He screamed something but he couldnt hear himself because of the loud ringing in his ears.
Pushed by that exact fear of loss, he ran.


Note : I am soooooooooo sorry but that cliffhanger was just too hard to resist.Evil SmileLOL
On a serious note, this was needed considering the way the next chapter is shaping up.

Edited by sidsk - 08 March 2011 at 11:32am

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DJ.. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 13 September 2010
Posts: 12256

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 9:25am | IP Logged
That are soooooooooo soooooooooooooooo nasty ........................... AngryAngryAngry

How could you put a cliffhanger at such a point ................Ouch

Rest of the update super awesome as ever............especially Sid and Riddhima interaction ........Sid's cold behavior and Riddhima missing him obviously she would He was the best she had which she threw away ............

but cake was taken by Shilpa ......... ;I have long forgotten you' ............... that was music to my ears.......can't stand armaan ...........

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zeenia IF-Rockerz

Joined: 26 April 2005
Posts: 8978

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 10:09am | IP Logged

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nm21 Goldie

Joined: 27 February 2008
Posts: 2055

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 10:13am | IP Logged

And you couldn't think it could get any better! Actually thats a lie I always do ...especially when I read this FF!

You are amazing.

U know and I always tell u that ur so gifted in that I can envisage everything that happens here with such clarity it surprises me sometimes, the nature of the characters is presented so accurately that i can imagine them saying/acting in the ways u describe them...

Honestly, your writing is brilliant BECAUSE you can't predict what's going to happen! I was actually leaning into my screen by the end in shock/curiosity/surprise which hit as soon as Armaan and then Riddhima came into the whole scenario but more importantly wrote "Suddenly he saw Shilpa exit the shop and walk towards him." I could actually see the whole situation forming before my eyes, BLESS SIDDY! (aww, tough choice? Well.. we have a deliberate death wish on behalf of Riddhima vs a genuine unawareness i.e. Shilpa...I think I know who I'd save ;) )

BUT my fave aspects/written parts in general and in no particular order (Cause i loved the whole thing as per)
-when Sid touches Shilpa's hand (wowzaaa)
-the confrontation...GO SID.
-the way u described Shilpa's dilema
-the fact that Shilpa had witnessed the cnfrontation
-the drive and Sid's confusion
-Shilpa realising she was "over him" -wooohooo

particularly this "at she had finally grown out of the rejection he had gifted her" is my favourite line!

grr too many moments! I can't choose I'm just writing out the extract again! But I also want to commend you on the concept. i dno whether I have before, but its the first thought that always comes into my mind when I finish reading because it really is so good that you are developing the story so well!

Cannot wait for the next part!! (I secretly love your cliffhangers:P)

Lots of love and big jhappi! Well doneee xxxxx
Simply beautifully written!

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Lennie IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 30 November 2004
Posts: 35398

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 10:37am | IP Logged
I know this is a SidShi ff and its about them and their world, but i cant help be immersed into SR as well, like Sid i also see scenes of the past running in my mind (i like the mention of red and white), esp Sid always saving her, he was her lifeline
Ridz i dont know what she was thinking, all she sees is Sid and she has to go to him and putting herself in danger, wanting to see if he would come, knowing full well he would
I liked the Shilpa and Patni chor interaction, he doesnt care for him at all and he doesnt get to her anymore and that name he hates Sid Modi is the name and man he will never be
I guess Sid and Ridz will always have this bond no matter how many years go past, coz we know she will never have peace and he will have wounds but with Shilpa he will heal with love i hope
I love how Shilpa understands Sid and SR as well, how his love was true and pure something that cant be forgetton in terms of how he loved, he put his faith into it, his life and his world was Riddhima
Glad to see Ridz see that Sid is not the Sid she left, he has changed

Edited by Lennie - 08 March 2011 at 10:40am

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monty22 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 May 2010
Posts: 10117

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:34am | IP Logged
Shocked sidra Hug

you can't do this with us..................Ouch i read so many FF whethear it on SR or Sidshi..but seriously this cliffhanger is killing me.......Confused. i can't wait any more. i want update now now now now. "stamping my foot' Approve

this is brilliant update. i m so happy Sid did not give any bhav to riddhima. that sid is no more for her. riddhima can regreat iy now she can't do anything.

shilpa & that patnichor scene made more happier. she is over to him. no word for that mean he deserve that. Dead

i can't believe riddhima. she did that  thing to get attention of sid..............Shocked shilpa's feelings is over  for that was infatuation. but siddhanth past was not infatuation . he will never get over for that feeling s for riddhima . 

even though there is nothing between  S & R. but sid will always care about her. like pocco said. whatever happen between sid & riddhima . sid hate her but when will be riddhima will be in trouble sid will be always there to save her. to protect riddhima from every strom is in his Blood.
it's very difficult to for siddhanth to save whom riddhima or shilpa?

i m not going to assume. ROFL

it's an perfect title for crossroads. Embarrassed plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i m bagging you update soon.

Edited by monty22 - 08 March 2011 at 10:39pm

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nikita_88 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 36918

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 1:19pm | IP Logged

I am speechless!

The cliffhanger is just a killer - OMG I want you to update ASAP. LOL

You write the emotions so brilliantly, like everything even Armaan I could feel him looking at Shilpa and his sorry. Riddhima's Sorry. Shilpa's pain and broken thoughts, the tension between SidShi. Sid's decision and thinking... I can't wait to see what the decision made will be! You are capturing the story so well!

I have say Nish and Lennie have said everything else!

Cont soon!

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Cess- Goldie

Joined: 26 June 2009
Posts: 1440

Posted: 08 March 2011 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
Hey Sidra... 

I'm sorry I never did comment in this FF earlier, but I always read it as soon as you update - all the time. I know a lot of people have told you this; but you have immense talent in being able to narrate a story and moving your readers at the same time. Seriously, the connection I feel with some characters are deeper to the ones I felt while watching the show....

As for Sid- he had always been like this in the show, as he is in your FF... yes, things did change, but his character is completely in context. I couldn't imagine a better Dr. Modi than this! You're just more than simply brilliant!!

Plus, I loved the update. I always do... =) It's stunning, and the cliff hanger is sooo not done! LOL I love Siddhant and Shilpa. I love their true love for one another, something they haven't quite realized yet altogether. Riddhima will always be Sid's past - abeit a beautiful yet painful one. Armaan for Shilpa was just a set back. But truly, the way you've written it; I actually feel thankful to A--R for making these two meet. They're just the kind of couple that makes me believe they're made for each other, and no one else. 

When you wrote Sid started running, I had this sudden click in my mind. I am sure he is going to save Shilpa. Not because he doesn't care for Riddhima, but the feeling of having to lose someone who means his life - I don't think Sid would ever allow that. He didn't for Riddhima, he will never for Shilpa. That's obviously just a feeling LOL but knowing how your characters act, Sid probably would try to save both, but truly, Shilpa may be his first priority... 

Okay, that was a really long comment! But After this chapter, I just thought it was unfair to not comment again. I always plan to, and then forget. 

You write marvellously, and your story telling is even more outstanding. Keep it up, and eagerly waiting to read more! =)


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