Posted: 16 February 2011 at 4:17am | IP Logged
psarada, docnuss, Sudha : Thank you guys!
Docnuss : I know what you mean....it is even more fun to write a jealous Riddhima........
I am going to concentrate on Shilpa in this and the next one or two chapters....it is needed to push the story forward.
The next few days passed slowly with the winters finally arriving in Mumbai.
Shilpa was sitting alone in a little cafe near her home, her long forgotten coffee sitting in front of her.
Outside the window next to her, people were rushing to and fro, some running to catch a taxi home, some shopping for clothes to welcome the winters.
Shilpa had come here to escape the confines of her mind.......but it had not helped.
She wanted to escape this sudden gloominess that had taken over her since earlier that day.
She thought back to the myriad of emotions she had gone through since the last week.....
Her mind had been stuck in that strange night when Sid had uttered those words to her........
She couldnt get that moment out of her head.
Why...why was she thinking about it so much?
In a weird way, she felt free after that night......she felt as if she could let go of all the barriers she had held firmly around her heart since all these years....as if she finally feel without the fear of hurting herself.
The thought of rejection and pain didnt scare her anymore.
Was it because of what Sid had said....or was it simply him?
But why would it be him?
This was Sid after all.
The one person with whom she need not have any inhibitions.
She had noticed that a certain nervousness had started to descend upon her in his presence.
She had suddenly started feeling shy....of Sid.
Somehow that didnt make sense in her head.
She discovered that her eyes would keep traveling to him when he was not looking......they would always search for him when he wasn't in her vicinity.
A soft smile would come over her face involuntarily whenever she looked at him.
But then it had always been like that, her eyes had always searched for him, that smile had always been there......so why did it feel so different now?
She would feel her face heat up if he was standing too close to her.
Just yesterday, she had been reading a patient's file in the hospital corridor, when he had come up behind her and glanced at the file over her shoulders.
His close proximity had created a strange butterfly sensation within her chest.......strange but pleasant.
She had started feeling awkward in his presence.
Just last week, they had been watching a movie together at her house.
While he had seemed quite engrossed in the movie, she had not been able to concentrate on anything but his presence beside her.
She didnt know she had been that obvious until he had had paused the movie and turned to her.
"Shilpa.......is this couch uncomfortable for you?"
She hadnt looked at him, scared that her nervousness would show.
"What?....no ", she had wondered why he was asking her such a random question.
"Hmmm.....", he tapped his chin,"Is there any military personnel present in this room?"
She had turned to him, all awkwardness gone," What?!....Sid, why are you asking me such weird questions?"
He had a serious face but she could make out the mischievous gleam in his eye.
"Because you are sitting as if someone is holding a gun to your back."
Shilpa realized that she had, in fact been sitting in a very rigid posture.
She had come up with a vague excuse but thankfully he hadnt questioned her further.
He had just shook his head at her, affectionately calling her 'silly' and had gone back to watching the movie.
She found that she didnt avoid the mirror so much now............she could admire herself without remembering Armaan's words.
Sid had made her feel beautiful.
She had found herself smiling for no reason..........
Even Naina had questioned her about her sudden cheeriness.
She hadnt felt like this before....like her heart could simply burst with happiness.....as though suddenly her life had been given a new meaning.
She couldnt describe it.....couldnt find a name for these inexplicable emotions that had taken over her.
But this strange bliss had lasted only for a few days.
She looked away from the window and took a sip of her coffee.
Her mind took her back to earlier that morning......
She had been sitting in her office attending to her last patient of the day.
"How is he doing now? Does he need anymore medicines?"
"No, no Mrs. Mathur ", Shilpa said calmly," your son is absolutely fine now. The weather is changing and kids all over are falling sick because of that. No need to worry ", she smiled at the kid before her and patted his head.
"Oh...thank you so much, Dr. Shilpa", and with that the mother and son left with the latter waving excitedly at Shilpa.
Shilpa watched them go and sighed in satisfaction.
Being a pediatrician was the most fulfilling aspect of her life.
She looked at the clock to see that it was almost time to go home.
She opened the desk drawer and scrounged among its contents to look for something.
By mistake, her hands touched the secret compartment there and it sprang open.
She had totally forgotten about it.
A few years back, she had stashed a few papers and photos there.....old documents which weren't important and yet she had not been able to throw them.
She ruffled through them.
A picture escaped her fingers and felt upside down on the floor.
Picking it up , she turned it over and froze.
It was an old picture....of her and Riddhima during her intership days.
The other papers slipped through her nimble fingers as she stared at Riddhima's face smiling back at her from the photo.How could she?....how could she forget?
Sid........her sister's ex husband.How could she even think........?
She felt her heart crush with the painful realization.
The picture fell from her fingers as she gripped the table.What was wrong with her?How could she let such forbidden feelings surface within her?
She was engaged to somebody else. How could she even think like that about Sid?
Sid.... who was her best friend.
Sid.......... who had loved a woman so much that everyone knew he would never love anyone like that again.......that woman was her sister......Riddhima.
She buried her face in her hands.......how had she let heart run away like that?How?
She wished she had never confided in Sid....if she hadnt, he wouldnt have said all that.....he wouldnt have unlocked that part of her heart which she herself had locked six years back."Excuse me Madam", she snapped out of her reverie and found a waiter standing in front of her.
She quietly paid the bill and walked out of the cafe.
Walking slowly back to her place, she ordered herself to get over whatever she was feeling.
Its just a momentary thing, she told herself.....a temporary phase, it will pass....it has to.
She had to stop this.......and she knew what she had to do first.
Edited by sidsk - 16 February 2011 at 4:25am