Guys I think some of are you confused about Sid and Shilpa wokring in Sanjeevani.....they are two branches of Sanjeevani now right next to each other...remember Shashank had spoken about this to Sid before he had left?........so Sid and Shilpa are working in the new one.
She had been lying awake since an hour, turning her ring over and over between her fingers.
Her mind was too restless.
Giving up on her sleep, she got up from the bed.
Chill seeped into her feet as she her bare feet touched the floor.
Placing the ring on the dressing table,she remembered Sid's words from earlier that day.You are happy with him, arent you?
She had been asked that question so many times.
And most of the time, she didnt know what to answer.
What did happiness comprise of?
Was she happy with her life?.....Yes, she was........she was very happy with where she was now......mentally, emotionally and career-wise.
Was she happy with her fiance? Was she happy with the thought that she would be married to him one day?
That is where her mind always drew a blank.
She knew very well that If it wasnt for her aunt, she wouldnt even be engaged to him right now.
Her aunt had been struck by a massive hear attack two years back......she had become too sensitive after that.
She wished to see Shilpa married before anything else happened to her.........and so Shilpa had to agree to fulfill her wishes.
And that is how Vivek, her fiance, had come in to her life.
Theirs was an arranged match.
It had been a year since their engagement now.
Vivek was a very nice man....a very good friend
.....but that's all she felt for him.
There were just too many doubts within her, too many questions....and there was only person to thank for that.Armaan
After all these years, she still hadnt got over what he had done with her.
She hadnt gotten over the feeling of being used.......that feeling which he had so graciously gifted her.
She didnt love him anymore....of that she was very sure.
But what he had done to her had scarred her mentally.
He had made her feel so unwanted.....like a showpiece that you throw away when you dont need it anymore.
As she was moving away from the dressing table, her caught herself in the mirror.
She saw a melancholic face staring back at her.
She had lost the the ability to admire herself.
Why didn't she ever feel good about herself anymore?
Why didn't she ever feel beautiful
Whenever she looked into the mirror, the only thing she could feel were Armaan's words echoing in her head.Shilpa means nothing to me.......I just wanted to make you jealous.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she clutched her head and turned away from the mirror.And that was why she could never trust Vivek........
What if he uttered the same words to her one day? What would she do then?
Armaan had successfully destroyed her childhood hope that one day she would be truly loved.
She couldnt tell anyone about all this....especially Sid.
She recalled his concern earlier that day....she knew he suspected that something was not right.
How could she explain to him that she didnt have the courage to love anyone more?
Her heart had been silent for so long that she doubted it could ever fall in love again.
Sid had gone to lots of trouble to find a suitable guy for her......and if she confided in him about all this, it would worry him a lot.
Her happiness was extremely important to Sid...........she knew that very well.
Long back, he had told her once, "Happiness scares me Shilpa. I try to stay far away from it as much as I can."
"And that is why I want you to be far away from anything that upsets you. I need you to be smiling always....so that I can live my happiness through you."
She sat down defeated on her bed.
So, how.....how was she ever going to make this relationship work?
Edited by sidsk - 10 February 2011 at 10:44pm