I really enjoyed writing this chapter.
In case anyone gets confused, this is a continuation of the same day mentioned in the last chapter.
It was over.
Finally she could get away from this place.
She was gathering all her stuff from her locker and dumping them into a cardboard box.
She would have left earlier if the accident had not happened.......there were too many people to tend to and she couldnt just ignore that because of personal reasons.
She wanted to leave without meeting anyone.
She had spotted Riddhima earlier in the general ward.
A thought had crossed her kind....to tell her the truth...that she was her biological sister.
She supposed Riddhima deserved to know that fact.
But standing there and observing her, Shilpa realized she didnt want to tell her.
It suddenly didnt matter to her......and that was very surprising since Riddhima was the reason Shilpa had come to Sanjeevani in the first place.
And so she had confessed to Shashank.
She didnt know whether he would tell Riddhima or not........most importantly she just didnt care anymore.
She shut her locker and turned to see someone standing behind her.Armaan.
Her heart didnt race at the sight of him, she didnt feel any butterflies within her like she used to.....and she was very glad about it.
"You're leaving", he said looking at the box.
It wasnt a question.
She nodded slowly because she didnt know what to say....she just didnt feel like talking to him.
"Is everything fine, Shilpa?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Well........ you're leaving all of a sudden.You didnt even inform me"
He waited for her to say something but she remained silent.
"In fact, these last few months you were so distant with me. You hardly spoke to me and most of the time I felt you were trying to avoid me."
She raised her eyebrow. "Does all that matter to you?"
He was taken aback at the cold vibes coming from her.Why was she behaving with him like this?
"Of course it does Shilpa..........we are friends and it hurts me to see you so aloof ."
"Friends", she said pensively, "Hmm....but wasnt I just a ploy to make Riddhima jealous
Armaan froze in his spot. Those words......how did she know?
"How....how do you....."
"Well unfortunately....or make that fortunately, that letter of yours to Riddhima had accidentally fallen in my hands."
He felt his face heating up.
"Shilpa....you have to know, I didnt mean all that."
"No really.I wrote all that to make Riddhima believe me...."
She shook her head at his pathetic excuses.Looking down, she continued putting a few more items in her box when suddenly he stepped near and took her hands in his.
Stunned, she looked up at him.
"Shilpa...please believe me...nothing about our friendship was a lie.You took care of me at a time when I was really alone and I had no one to turn to.You probably have no idea how much you have done for me...."
She closed her eyes and sighed........she wanted to believe him so much.
"Shilpa...I know that you have feelings for me."
Her eyes shot open.
"Yes I know. I am not a fool Shilpa........I have seen it in your eyes, the way you look at me."
Her heart wanted to sing........a part of her wanted to stay like this here forever.
Until she remembered.........Shilpa means nothing to me.
She wrenched her hands away and moved back.
"You are right, Armaan. I did have feelings for you. but they were just that ...feelings. Mere
feelings. I didnt love you if that's what you are thinking. I am sorry Armaan but I can never love a man like you....you were just an infatuation."
And she said those words, she realized she was right. He was just a strong infatuation. If it really had been love, then it wouldnt have hurt her like this.
"What do you mean a man like me?"
"You are a homewrecker, Armaan."
"Oh please! I am so sick of hearing this! If Riddhima had truly loved Sid, then none of his would have happened......she was trapped in a loveless marriage which was nothing but a burden for her.Sid should have known better than to expect...
"Sid should have known better?!!"
Her voice rose and anger flared up in her eyes.
"Excuse me!....Riddhima was the one who made him believe that she loved
him. How was he to know that she was faking it?"
"He was living her with all these days......did she ever let him come close to her like she allowed me? He should have thought about that."
Shilpa shook her head at him, pity written all over face.
"See that's the problem Armaan. Love isn't limited to physical boundaries.....it goes beyond that.You and Riddhima are really unfortunate people because you will never
Looking away from him,she moved her attention to the box and sealed it shut.........that being symbolic in a way as she was on the edge of shutting this part of life forever which had Armaan in it.
"I dont get why everyone likes defending Sid so much."
She looked up at him.
"I will tell you why. Simply because he is honest. No matter what it is, whether right or wrong, he is always honest. If he makes a mistake, he admits it....he doesnt defend
Armaan scoffed rudely.
She continued," He doesnt play around with anyone's feelings. He doesnt use
people. he doesnt fake
Armaan knew exactly what she meant by that.
"He was a brother to you....he respected you so much but its obvious you really dont care.Neither did Riddhima. Why would you? You both cant see or think anything beyond each other. You dont realize how many people you both have hurt because of your selfishness."
"Shilpa! Dont talk like that about Riddhima!"
She raised one brow.
"Please! I will talk how ever I want to talk.Who are you to stop me?........She is the most sad and confused woman I have ever come across. She had a husband whom any girl would die for.If a person cant love Sid, then he or she is really incapable of loving at all. If she loved you, then she should have told him. He had given her that liberty......but no! She wanted the best of both worlds......she wasnt honest with either of you..........But I doubt you will ever realize that."
She stared at him daring him to answer her.
But he had no defense.
She picked up and he box and walked towards the door.
"All the best for your future....God knows you will need it."
She turned towards him one last time,a small smirk on her face," Goodbye Armaan, the Eternal Aashiq
And with that she strode away, feeling much lighter than she had felt in days.
Armaan stood rooted to his spot, the sarcasm and pity in her words ringing in his ears for a really long, long time.
Edited by sidsk - 26 January 2011 at 8:24am