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Is cancellation of IF ID good or bad? (Page 12)

K.Consciousness Senior Member

Joined: 16 November 2010
Posts: 402

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 7:48pm | IP Logged
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Midnight_Shade IF-Dazzler

Joined: 21 July 2009
Posts: 2741

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 8:03pm | IP Logged
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Midnight_Shade IF-Dazzler

Joined: 21 July 2009
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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 8:04pm | IP Logged
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Summer3

glace-bleue IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 04 March 2009
Posts: 49339

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Summer3

Originally posted by crazy_sunny

Originally posted by Summer3

Originally posted by crazy_sunny

For a debate you need to have two sides- for and against. Those who have cancelled their IDs can take the for stand and those who havent can take the "against" stand -and there you have a debate LOL
I take the motion against the stand Big smile

Who else in my team LOL

Sunny Bhai generally I am requesting members not to cancel their IDs if they can help it. They can take a long break if needed n always come back another day.
but its a person's choice , isnt it ? We need to look at the reasons behind it. Is it their personal choice or is the forum to blame .
Yes it is a personal choice. But there is no need to cut off all linkages and try to be an island.
Anyway most are just inactive and they will come back again .
Blue Ice ji is a fine example, she drops by off and on and is always so polite.
You have been an  inspiration too Sunny Bhai.
Shak is great but hard to pin down as he is constantly moving.LOL


aww Summerji Thanks.....but I am only polite to the people I likeLOL......
Anyways coming back to the topic I don't think that getting ur ID banned or deactivated really works......because its not like getting ur visa rejected or something and u can't enter the country.......if one wants they will always come back with a different ID......ofcourse...sometimes people don't try to potray that they are someone else....but in my opinion only will power works.....what happens is that if u continue to browse offline its difficult not to post......it has happened with me.....I took a short break from posting but I used to browse offline whenever I had time and thats why I got this urge to post again......
I used to be in this forum a long time back with a different ID and I had taken a break for 3 years but during that time I did not ever browse IF and thats why I stayed away for a long time and forgot my password in the processLOL.......so when I decided to come back i had to use a new ID but my writing style never changed and thats why Gauri and Soumya recognised who I was..LOL....
BTW ....very good topic Summerji.....with so many people getting their IDs banned....it is important to discuss if it really works....
and Gauri...u tooAngryCryCryCryCry

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Summer3

hindu4lyf IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 25 March 2008
Posts: 9354

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 9:34pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by K.Resurrected.

Originally posted by Summer3

Ah Mr K Sahab for most of us the emotional baggage is
something that has formed a part of us and we cannot just suddenly drop it like a bomb. Emotions whether in real life or cyber world or dreams are all intangible but they do affect us as we can feel them; in terms of ranking the first does take priority.
Yes in the deactivation of an account there could be some dissatisfaction about certain things; but I guess there is no perfect system and we just have to try to improve things.


I was only asking people to be true to their emotions, Summer. Like your good self. At least, you cared enough to question the need for people to cancel/deactivate their accounts plus you mentioned a few names that you would like to see continue posting.

I was questioning the genuineness of people who hug / blow kisses / throw virtual birthday parties / pore over excruciating minutiae of their daily lives on these forums for all to see and then turn around and act like it doesn't matter whether or not a member stays or leaves. IMO, it just looks downright silly. All that showing of emotion one day and so-what-if-s(he)-leaves-i-am-moving-on, the next day. No need to shed a tear but if you have done all that before, with some genuineness, at least acknowledge what you really feel after the member left and put a closure, unless we are talking about showbiz type of acting around here.


I'll be the first to admit that I've done that before where I got really close to someone on IF and eventually when we completely lost contact I missed that person a lot! Actually, I won't lie I still miss them a bit. At the same time I'll also admit that IF has given me some really good friends that I am very close to. FB and BBM are great when it comes to keeping in contact with friends. There aren't that many people from IF that fall in to the category of 'good friends' but definitely around 3-4 people that I talk to quite often. 

At the moment I like logging on and reading a couple of members posts around certain forums on IF and it's always interesting to read their thoughts on certain topics but that's it really. I'd miss their posts but I know nothing about them as such so I wouldn't really miss them. For all I know they could turn out to be a 60year old male pretending to be a 16year old female or whatever. So maybe when someone leaves the forum then it does affect some people but at the end of the day we have to realise that it is just an online forum where we know very little about people or if we think we know a lot then maybe we don't. Unless of course we make an effort to really get to know them through PM and then maybe via texts, FB, phone calls etc. I know I've learnt my lesson and I'll be sure not to make the same mistake again. I think I've met all the kinds of people there are to meet on IF-a girl turning out to be a boy (not just virtually but in reality too), people posting fake pictures of themselves to all IF 'friends', people's marriages getting broken off and then losing all contact with them, online love affairs, (not like the ones we have on IFLOL) pretty much everything! If there's more then quite frankly I don't want to know! lol eventually you just learn to keep your distance and know where to draw the line. That's just something I learnt with time. 

There was a global announcement made some time back and it was shocking to see the amount of people that said when it came to spending time they'd choose to spend time with their online 'friends' instead of their real life friends. That was quite surprising. If I had to choose between going out for a meal with friends or a party over spending an hour or two on IF socialising/reading articles and responding to posts then I wouldn't hesitate in saying that I much rather spend time with my real life friends. Unless of course I have work to do in which case I'll always find myself procrastinating and browsing the internet instead of working. :\

Btw, you mentioned the winking emoticon. I usually use it as a form of expressing sarcasm more than anything else. :\

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Summer3

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Joined: 27 October 2008
Posts: 9475

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by K.Resurrected.

Originally posted by old-black-joe

FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, I SHALL NEVER USE AN EMOTICON AGAIN.


"I, old-black-joe, do sincerely promise and declare that I will truly and faithfully, and to the best of my ability, will never use this emoticon (Cry) if and when I lose my shirt in the stock market and feel the urge to convey that information on the forums, that I will never use this emoticon () if I make more than Rs. 500 profit in the equities market and feel the urge to convey that information on the forums, that I will in no way betray the trust reposed in me by the people of India Forums, so help me God. Should I break my oath, I shall be willing to submit myself to severe punishment (40 lashes with a wet noodle) by K. This is my solemn oath."


SACRE BLU'! How did you know about my wet noodle oath?!
*Woh Ajnabee* IF-Sizzlerz
*Woh Ajnabee*
*Woh Ajnabee*

Joined: 15 September 2007
Posts: 22970

Posted: 14 January 2011 at 12:08am | IP Logged
Originally posted by K.Resurrected.

To my understanding, we are still talking about people who were once active members but later decided to deactivate their accounts. The ban (?) is an unintended consequence of that. Whether or not people know about the ban before they requested a deactivation, while relevant to the topic, doesn't necessarily augment to the list of reasons as to why they chose to take such a seemingly drastic measure in the first place.

FYI: Once banned, temporarily or otherwise, a member can neither PM anybody nor reply to scraps. This point is relevant when considering possible reactivation.

Some worldly-wise people, having fully grasped the finer points of life, seem to callously dismiss these deactivation requests with a cavalier tone and a ready-made homily such as "it's an online forum! Who cares?! Let's move on!"

While that outlook is most admirable and comes in handy when facing the cold hard facts of life,  one can't help but wonder why would these same people liberally use such emoticons as (Hug, LOL, Cry, Angry, Wink, Approve, Day Dreaming) on an online forum?! Either those emotions are phony (who would hug and laugh and cry and wink and spill their guts detailing their daily schedules and travel plans and school curriculum vitae to complete strangers? Who would go out of their way to show that they are embarrassed or they are happy or they are shocked or they are applauding a stranger's thoughts? Who would wish strangers on their birthdays, taking pains and making efforts to copy paste images of cakes and candy and flowers?) Or the attitude that's on display when a member leaves is phony. Which is it?

Sure, there are all kinds of reasons. I cited a few. The others cited a few. The truth is hidden in one of those possibilities. What is not apparent to many, however, is that the person who chose to cancel/deactivate an account is basically making a statement. You could argue that probably they are seeking attention but even seeking attention is the same as making a statement. The statement could be as simple as "you are going to miss me, wait and watch" to something a little more complex like "not all is right with this forum" to something extremely brazen  such as "this is my way of giving you people the middle finger!"

The statement itself might not be aimed at just one person. It could be aimed at the general audience too. So who should care? Whoever the requester had in mind. How would anybody know what was on the requester's mind when he/she requested a cancellation/deactivation? Simple. If you care enough, you could easily retrace the events. If you don't, then please be a little more cautious before using emoticons or flirtatious language or engaging in spirited discussions that might leave lasting impressions on some people. You can't be goody-goody one day and pretend not to care the next day. That's just wrong!

Disclaimer: I have zero emotion vested in any of this, because that's just the way I am. I am only speaking on behalf of the others, trying to put myself in their shoes. I could be completely wrong in my assessment and that's a possibility.




Mister K,

This IS an online forum, and it shouldn't be the end of the world if someone decides to leave the forum for whatever reason. You should have the ability to move on and accept that they have chosen to leave this virtual world. Dismissing these everyday goodbyes is healthy for the virtual soul. If we were to be upset and disappointed every single time someone left the forum, this would not be a very happy place.

As far as emoticons are concerned, even without these emoticons, you are expressing various emotions through your words every time you make a post on this forum. Without emoticons, you are perhaps leaving the interpretation of your tone and your emotions up to the reader. Regardless, it does not mean that you are not expressing any emotions. Although you may not be hugging, winking, or laughing through these emoticons, it does not mean that you aren't expressing these emotions in your posts.

Having said that, every time we log on to this forum and post, we are sharing our thoughts with complete strangers. To talk to these strangers regarding discussion topics on the forum, personal lives, and wishing them on their birthday are all a part of the deal. Even if you are sending a simple birthday wish through a PM, you are still taking the initiative to wish a stranger on their birthday for whatever reason. But wishing someone on their birthday does not translate into developing a life long bond with them and neither does it mean that there is some level of emotional attachment at stake here. Even in the real world, we wish people on their birthdays or generally and forget about them when we move on in life.

People leave this forum for several reasons, and they get themselves banned for several other reasons. The number one reason is that they lack the self-control to stop logging on to the forum and therefore have to take this extreme measure of getting themselves banned. Second most common reason is that they want to make a statement. They want to be the talk of the town with their grand exit so people will claim to miss them and make posts in their honor asking them to come back. They enjoy that because they read that either with another account or without one. Third biggest reason, I believe, is when they want to erase signs of their presence on the forum. They want all their past deeds to be erased so they can either move on or start fresh when time comes. My only take with this extreme action is that do it if you are going to be gone for good. No point in making these useless statements if you're going to be back here in a few days. Even if you are only deactivating your account, the above three occurrences still hold true since the intentions (although are of returning) for leaving are the same.

All that said, I don't think there is anything phony about using emoticons or moving on when members leave. How do you know people stop missing the people they once were close to? How do you know they aren't in touch outside of the forum? How do you know that perhaps they weren't as close as they appeared to be on the forum? And lastly, perhaps it was a two-sided friendship between members who realized how short-term it would be. Who gives anyone here the right to judge these members or call them phony for their behavior on the forum? Until members develop that "let's-move-on" attitude on this forum, survival here is difficult. All that emotional baggage that comes with emotional attachment over the internet, I fathom, is much more harder to overcome than perhaps even in the real world.

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Roadrunnerzhindu4lyfreturn_to_hadesAutumn.-Believe-

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Posted: 14 January 2011 at 2:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*



Without emoticons, you are perhaps leaving the interpretation of your tone and your emotions up to the reader. Regardless, it does not mean that you are not expressing any emotions. Although you may not be hugging, winking, or laughing through these emoticons, it does not mean that you aren't expressing these emotions in your posts.

Having said that, every time we log on to this forum and post, we are sharing our thoughts with complete strangers. To talk to these strangers regarding discussion topics on the forum, personal lives, and wishing them on their birthday are all a part of the deal. Even if you are sending a simple birthday wish through a PM, you are still taking the initiative to wish a stranger on their birthday for whatever reason. But wishing someone on their birthday does not translate into developing a life long bond with them and neither does it mean that there is some level of emotional attachment at stake here. Even in the real world, we wish people on their birthdays or generally and forget about them when we move on in life.

People leave this forum for several reasons, and they get themselves banned for several other reasons. The number one reason is that they lack the self-control to stop logging on to the forum and therefore have to take this extreme measure of getting themselves banned. Second most common reason is that they want to make a statement. They want to be the talk of the town with their grand exit so people will claim to miss them and make posts in their honor asking them to come back. They enjoy that because they read that either with another account or without one. Third biggest reason, I believe, is when they want to erase signs of their presence on the forum. They want all their past deeds to be erased so they can either move on or start fresh when time comes. My only take with this extreme action is that do it if you are going to be gone for good. No point in making these useless statements if you're going to be back here in a few days. Even if you are only deactivating your account, the above three occurrences still hold true since the intentions (although are of returning) for leaving are the same.

All that said, I don't think there is anything phony about using emoticons or moving on when members leave. How do you know people stop missing the people they once were close to? How do you know they aren't in touch outside of the forum? How do you know that perhaps they weren't as close as they appeared to be on the forum? And lastly, perhaps it was a two-sided friendship between members who realized how short-term it would be. Who gives anyone here the right to judge these members or call them phony for their behavior on the forum? Until members develop that "let's-move-on" attitude on this forum, survival here is difficult. All that emotional baggage that comes with emotional attachment over the internet, I fathom, is much more harder to overcome than perhaps even in the real world.

@ The bolded - Good points brought out Woh Ajnabee Big smile
@ words in red - Most of those who got banned will return - what was that curse you mentioned  in your MOTW ? Cant recall it but it is true LOL

Edited by crazy_sunny - 14 January 2011 at 2:32am

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