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Indian men's mentality towards premarital sex

TUCSONTUSHAAR Newbie
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Posted: 09 January 2011 at 11:52am | IP Logged
I guess in 2011 it will become stupid question to ask "Is premarital sex good?"It's not a aberration anymore.For today's youth It's like we do breakfast,We do lunch,we do dinner and we do sex.But isn't it like test driving your partner which reduces your partner to nothing more than some sort of vehicle.In today life where relationship are the most unstable thing, having physical relationships before marriage with someone kind of create a baggage as there is no guarantee that you are going to marry that person.And when you get married to someone else you kind of  have to hide or lie about your pre-marriage physical relationships and that stays as a guilt with you.Many say that premarital sex helps the relationship to stay alive but many relationships die next day of the couple sleeping with each other.I agree that bit of lust is important part of romantic relationship but as per my opinion lust should come into a relationship only after marriage.Well I'll not say much against premarital sex as that might  turn many pretty faces red against me :p

I really find it's funny when I see the mentality of a Indian man towards premarital sex.They all kind of think that premarital sex should only be enjoyed  by the male members of their family.They are ok with premarital sex as long as they don't know that their mother had it or their sisters are having it.As soon as they will know that their sister is sleeping with someone before marriage their opinion towards premarital sex takes a 180 degree turn.They cant even tolerate the imagination of their mother,sister or unborn daughter having  premarital sex but they want to do it.Isn't that hypocrisy?At the end the most men forget that girls they are sleeping with are also someone's something.

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 1:05am | IP Logged
Why shud boys hve all the fun?sex before marriage is not bad untill u take it lightly,casualy as if its a part of ur lyf.

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 1:47am | IP Logged
i think it is the worst thing u are doing before mariage..& why that person gets angry if his daughter ,sister or wife do such such thing? jab us ne kiya tab usse khayal nahi aaya what he is doing? so its totally wrong.. & because of this there are so many couples are divorced just because of this! if u are in love then its ok.. after marriage u have copmlete right to karo..& it is restricted in Islam. i've discussed a topic about gair-muhrrams here..& before marriage evrey guy is gair muhrram to a girl. A girl can't look at any person so premarital sex is beyond our thoughts!...........

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TUCSONTUSHAAR Newbie
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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 9:35am | IP Logged
@ANIROCKS 

As said by u, today premarital sex is just about fun.Girls beliv that by not having premarital sex they are not having enough fun as compared to boys so they do it becos of their herd mentality.

I guess most of sex relationship of school college and uni lack seriousness most of them never get converted into serious relationships, people move on after their study and get married to someone else by hiding their past..In fact just to make sure that one's current partner never asks about his or her past physical relationships people have invented quotes like " I love u that doesn't mean u have right to know how many person I have slept with before u"(necessity is mother of invention).premarital sex is just used as a tool for first hand experience on sex.In schools and colleges there goes a rat race to loose virginity.Today's teenager make sure  that they get rid of it as soon as possible as if it is a disease.

Though I personally don't appreciate premarital physical relationships but i have no problems with people  who enjoy it.It's a free world and everybody has right to live life the way they want  and  to do things they think is fun.If somebody want to do sex just for fun it's his or her choice.

My problem is with the biased view point attached with it.I'm referring to honor killings in India.I mean for most family it's ok if the boy of the family sleeps wid someone before marriage.But they can't tolerate if the girl does the same.They kill the girl,the boy wid whom she slept and create a whole issue out of it.that's not good for me.


Edited by TUCSONTUSHAAR - 13 January 2011 at 10:12am

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Posted: 13 January 2011 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
This is purely based on observation..

Indian boys/men are totally open to the idea of pre-marital sex and I may not think the same way they do but it's their choice and I have no problem with whatever they do but what really annoys me is when they expect that the women they marry should be a virgin! So they can sleep around but when it comes to getting married the one they're going to spend the rest of their life with can't possibly have had a physical relationship with anyone?!

This whole mentality about boys doing whatever they want and enjoying themselves while girls can't possibly think about such things is ridiculous. Indian girls from big cities like Delhi and Mumbai still know how to have a good time and many of them go out and party regularly and there are quite a few young girls that have pre-marital sex but the issue here is that it is not treated as a big deal when guys indulge in similar behaviour but the rules seem to change when it comes to girls. Having said that, I do not encourage young Indian girls to go ahead and have pre-marital sex just because they want to prove they are no less than boys.

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Posted: 15 January 2011 at 12:54am | IP Logged
This might not be the prospective of all men provided, we have all sorts of people around. Besides, I realize that on the basis of a few observations - it would be wrong to state everybody into the category of such high hypocrisy and male-chauvinism. But then, its how you said with the majority in our country. It is all about the distinction between how a female and male are raised. I am being raised with the values of considering many a things like premarital sex being wrong, we aren't open here but I am aware of what my people expect out of me, to be a respectable young lady. Whereas, such hard and fast rules are never imposed on the males. So its pretty obvious, this is the concrete reason of this issue.

Every society sets its own principles and it is fair enough to be abiding by those if you're part of one, and that is something I wouldn't comment on, am not a least bit positive about that.

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Posted: 22 May 2011 at 8:55am | IP Logged
In today's world, men and women are almost equal. If a man isn't a virgin, he has no right to demand a virgin bride (and vise versa). Someone once told me that some men are insecure, that's why they want an inexperienced partner, so that she will not be able to say if he is a lousy lover. It must explain about those narrow-minded men.
 
But suppose, you get married and you find out that you and your partner are not physically compatible? Then what, huh?
 
On the other hand, you have sex but you find that your partner was just playing to get you into bed. Bam! A break-up!
 
Pre-marital sex has it's advantage and disadvantages. It depends on one's mindset, i guess. I have seen many people judge each other on one's sexual experience. But I don't see why it's such a big deal. I mean come on, we live in 2011.
 
If the couple are really in love, they will get married, if not then there really wasn't that much love.
 
Besides, if one really loves someone, he/she won't care about their loved one's sexual history or their background.
He/She'll do anything to be in each other's life.
 
Past is gone, it's present and the future to hope for. People need to be broad-minded.


Edited by nancy_zb88 - 22 May 2011 at 9:06am

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Posted: 10 July 2011 at 11:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by hindu4lyf

This is purely based on observation..

Indian boys/men are totally open to the idea of pre-marital sex and I may not think the same way they do but it's their choice and I have no problem with whatever they do but what really annoys me is when they expect that the women they marry should be a virgin! So they can sleep around but when it comes to getting married the one they're going to spend the rest of their life with can't possibly have had a physical relationship with anyone?!

This whole mentality about boys doing whatever they want and enjoying themselves while girls can't possibly think about such things is ridiculous. Indian girls from big cities like Delhi and Mumbai still know how to have a good time and many of them go out and party regularly and there are quite a few young girls that have pre-marital sex but the issue here is that it is not treated as a big deal when guys indulge in similar behaviour but the rules seem to change when it comes to girls. Having said that, I do not encourage young Indian girls to go ahead and have pre-marital sex just because they want to prove they are no less than boys.
OMG U R So Ryt?
WeN girls Get Rishtey,They r always asked if theyre a virgin?
UrggghhhAngry

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