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Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

Overwhelming Love & Pain (Page 7)

whitepearl Goldie
whitepearl
whitepearl

Joined: 16 June 2006
Posts: 2430

Posted: 10 January 2011 at 8:10pm | IP Logged
  
Originally posted by nanditasingh


A love that consumes me,
A love so powerful,
And so overwhelming,
That I fear if I were without it,
My heart would no longer have a meaning
To its existence,

 
'Love has to be an expression of your being, not an emotion. Emotion is very fragile, very changing. One moment it seems that is all. Another moment you are simply empty. But that kind of love rarely exists, because very few people ever reach to their being.'


Maan's love for Geet is not a emotion but a reflection of his 

Rejoicing in the air filled with sweetness of the upcoming celebration ...the moment his dreams will come true , he will bring his bride home , make his Geet for forever His...
Cherished as much as this moment was for him , he had his own fears too ... fear of the unknown , fear of destiny that has always been cruel to them..though as always he is ready to battle with it ..but on stake this time is so much to loose that the thought itself was overbearing to him


Having voiced his fears to the Divine power & prayed to bless them of togetherness ..he reaches Geet to tie the 'taveez' that he brought for her safety..And the site that greets him freezes him to death...he finds Geet battling with life.


Baffled at her state he rushes to help her &  gets  her to the hospital in mad rush .

Love, the strongest and deepest of all, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of power.....right now made him feel weak like never before , lost like never before & helpless like never before .


Consumed by a sense of defeat he seeks refuge in 'Faith' in the 'taveez' , in  Geet's faith that Lord will make everything alright if we with pure heart unburden our fears to Him.

Maan does it for her, their baby & their life that now was all in the hands of the Lord ..the Doctor having declared to him that only one of the two...his heart or his soul could be saved....


Decision to choose between Love & Trust ...Love that he has for Geet & the Trust that she has in him.


The dreaded 'moment' he prayed to evade ..arrives ...

'Baby or Geet?'


GEET he instantaneously replied.


The 'moment' having passed ... nothing flows after that , everything comes to a stop, dead still.


Like a phantom he walks alone through the hospital's corridor towards darkness ...


His love for her that is past the mind , beyond the heart  & into is soul....engulfs him in a dark shadow of guilt ... a guilt to have chosen to save Geet's life  over the Baby's ..he feels he has broken Geet's trust in him & the thought itself bleeds his soul.

Trust that he had earned as both a witness, fellow warrior  & Saviour of Geet's & baby's life at the hands of her family, society & destiny.


Maan Singh Khurana for the first time felt something that  can't  be describe but it filled his heart & whole being. His deep love which now evoked feelings of fear, anguish, pain, helplessness and frustration  at the choice  that he had to voice ..a choice that infact was never in his hand. 

Hugging itself in the darkness
Crying in the shadows
Whispering words that can never be heard
In the darkest hollows of this world
There stood a  lost broken soul



A hollow feeling that takes over him , that does not go away at the news that 'his faith won, he won' ...that both Geet & the Baby are fine ..does not go away with Dadi's comforting hug & warm smile ...


He is all cold inside, something in him has died....


Though he feels its Geet's trust that he killed ... but its his own trust in himself that was dying, trust that he could never ever wrong Geet ...

He feels disgusted in himself that he had voiced to end Geet's dream....A dream that  now to her is  life in itself , life that is now breathing in her womb.

His conscious having traveled through uncounted time & space makes him fall more more in his own eyes ...



There's a hole in my heart- A sharp pain in my head.
Something is missing inside; I feel like I'm dead.
My whole life seems like it's crashing down,
How can someone live with their heart torn?



Days back when they together had seen the baby for the first time , in awe, love & blessing his eyes had refused to look away from the monitor .... even the tears that made its appearance first time had no power to get him to move his eyes from the bundle of joy ....


But now..


Overridden by the guilt levied on him by his cruel fate he finds it impossible to look at the baby or meet Geet's expectant eyes ..that were seeking assurance from him,
 him of all the people to tell her if her baby was fine ...

The baby's sweetly mild heart beats & Geet's motherly concern were deafening him..grounding him to death.



I try to hide
But you just keep finding me
I try to run
But you are the one I bump
I try to forget
But you just smile and say

'Trying to run from yourself
Isn't going to get you anywhere'



Wedding preparations having began....the fairytale dream of hers coming true but one thing she misses seeing is the same joy in his eyes  that now sings in her soul


He is sad, unhappy , breaking down is all she can see when he attempts to smile at her, smile that fails to reach his eyes


His eyes that are mirror to his soul now revealed nothing to her but darkness & gloom...unable to get an answer to what is bothering him so much she makes him promise to her that he will smile & rejoice in sweet moments of bliss that life is now offering to them.


He promises to her with a heavy heart that like always he will make this experience to memorable for her, but within him he knows this time he wont be able to be true to his words, his promise to her & this further heaps the burden of guilt in him....



I stand alone unnoticed from a world sheltered around me vulnerable within my circumstances beyond me,
regrettable situation and time knows not of me
unforeseen changes as my life leaves me,
lost within it's supplication bound unto me,
I stand alone with my face hidden by shame for it consumes the life I breath within me



His anger towards himself makes him self-judgmental & he feels the happiness that now he is blessed with he does not deserve it , his fear tells him that  he does not deserve Geet's trust and the greatest gift she bringing home to him, being responsible for that li'l life ...


He does not feel the joy that he should as the guilt creeps in , all he feels is immense pain..pain that he must have cost Geet if owing to his one decision she could have lost her dream, now their dream.



Your fragile heart has been broken
I stand there with hatred to the source of your grief

My heart's pain, and my soul's torture
Unbearable are your tears to see
They fall from your eyes, they come from your heart
It burns with unforgiving despair



Faceless to the world  he walks around like a living corpse & unable to bear his silence , unable to stand his eyes filled with a great surge of sentiments piled in for release  &  the site of him shattering within himself

 Geet forces him to share with her the grief that is killing him slowly ,


'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'


The moment he dreaded , the moment he waited for & moment that will either kill him or mark his salvation comes.

Tears welled up in his eyes & like to make an confession to God he goes down on his knees  & for the first time addresses the Baby.

He introduces himself as a stranger, a name not as his father coz he feels he has lost that right.

I'm Sorry
he cries .....


Geet who was at first troubled by his having stoned his emotions gets rooted by his gesture ..to which he continues


He recollects to them the decision that he was forced to make that day & accuses himself that by making the 'selfish' choice he proved it that he is not deserving enough for their trust , their love.

He curses himself to have lived through that day.

He does not seek forgiveness as in his eyes his sin is so big that he himself will never be able to let go of this hatred for self.



'I see a reflection that I have never seen before, I see myself in Your armor.'

Geet moved with emotions both for the Baby & its Papa.... gets down infront of him as he breaks down now totally &  refuses to look in her eyes ............ tear in his eyes that made the most joyful most sight to her once ..now burns her soul...coz these tears are but flames that are emitting from the fire in which he is burning himself


'Your love is like a fire that burns for all to see'.


She holds in her hands his pain-stricken face that was now waiting for her verdict, his punishment...she wipes his tears as hers begin to flow at his plight & questions him why was he suffering this all alone when he was not the culprit but  only victim in the hands of destiny who alone stood on the verge  to lose everything at the moment & yet he blames himself ...she is in awe of his love & responsibility towards their baby.

She knows he will never forgive himself for that moment but assures him that her trust has not at all diminished but has grown by his admittance of the truth that if he choose to keep away from her she never could have known.....

She tells him that both Baby & Baby's Mummy know that he , Baby's Papa could have made the same decision if the child was his own , nothing could have changed it....

His unconditional love for her can never make him do anything that is not right for her ...as she always comes 'First' for him....she also tells him meeting his eyes for the very first time since that day , that their child could never find any better father than him in this whole world.


He kisses her hand at having not been misunderstood & still loved, trusted.


Maan who has never let her voice her gratitude or apology to him as he never felt the need for her to do it  .... says
 'Thank you'.




'You won't realize the distance you've walked until you take a look around and realize how far you've been.'


Now having re-lived the fear, grief , helplessness & pain they hold each other to their heart  with a content smile playing on their now peaceful faces  they  cherished in what they are blessed to share today, their love, their togetherness.


There came a time
When you face the toughest of fights
Searching for a light
We are lost in the darkest of nights

But deep in our soul
The future unfolds
Is bright as the rays of the sun
You have to believe in the power of love




I'm still in trance of the overwhelming  love & pain that Maan expressed through his eyes, his soul ..his whole being for Geet & their Baby ...
My trust, respect , pride & love for this man, Maan never ceases to grow...
Epitome of Love indeed He is.



love
Nandita


Beautiful expression Nandita.Clap..A Standing ovation for such a wonderful post. Clap.ClapClapUr understanding of love is exceeding beyond limitations dear. I love every poem that expressed his helplessness, his pain, his anger upon himself and his love for Geet. He is the epitome of love and dedication, 
seldom do we see such boundless love. A love that becomes the only reason to survive.....And that is the reason he stands out victoriously every time. 


Edited by whitepearl - 10 January 2011 at 8:12pm

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

meravigilisonanditasingh

sptrno IF-Sizzlerz
sptrno
sptrno

Joined: 17 July 2008
Posts: 10942

Posted: 10 January 2011 at 11:10pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by nanditasingh

Overwhelming Love & Pain



A love that consumes me,
A love so powerful,
And so overwhelming,
That I fear if I were without it,
My heart would no longer have a meaning
To its existence,



'Love has to be an expression of your being, not an emotion. Emotion is very fragile, very changing. One moment it seems that is all. Another moment you are simply empty. But that kind of love rarely exists, because very few people ever reach to their being.'


Maan's love for Geet is not a emotion but a reflection of his whole being ... his soul.



Rejoicing in the air filled with sweetness of the upcoming celebration ...the moment his dreams will come true , he will bring his bride home , make his Geet for forever His...
Cherished as much as this moment was for him , he had his own fears too ... fear of the unknown , fear of destiny that has always been cruel to them..though as always he is ready to battle with it ..but on stake this time is so much to loose that the thought itself was overbearing to him


Having voiced his fears to the Divine power & prayed to bless them of togetherness ..he reaches Geet to tie the 'taveez' that he brought for her safety..And the site that greets him freezes him to death...he finds Geet battling with life.


Baffled at her state he rushes to help her &  gets  her to the hospital in mad rush .

Love, the strongest and deepest of all, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of power.....right now made him feel weak like never before , lost like never before & helpless like never before .


Consumed by a sense of defeat he seeks refuge in 'Faith' in the 'taveez' , in  Geet's faith that Lord will make everything alright if we with pure heart unburden our fears to Him.

Maan does it for her, their baby & their life that now was all in the hands of the Lord ..the Doctor having declared to him that only one of the two...his heart or his soul could be saved....


Decision to choose between Love & Trust ...Love that he has for Geet & the Trust that she has in him.


The dreaded 'moment' he prayed to evade ..arrives ...

'Baby or Geet?'


GEET he instantaneously replied.


The 'moment' having passed ... nothing flows after that , everything comes to a stop, dead still.


Like a phantom he walks alone through the hospital's corridor towards darkness ...


His love for her that is past the mind , beyond the heart  & into is soul....engulfs him in a dark shadow of guilt ... a guilt to have chosen to save Geet's life  over the Baby's ..he feels he has broken Geet's trust in him & the thought itself bleeds his soul.

Trust that he had earned as both a witness, fellow warrior  & Saviour of Geet's & baby's life at the hands of her family, society & destiny.


Maan Singh Khurana for the first time felt something that  can't  be describe but it filled his heart & whole being. His deep love which now evoked feelings of fear, anguish, pain, helplessness and frustration  at the choice  that he had to voice ..a choice that infact was never in his hand.





Hugging itself in the darkness
Crying in the shadows
Whispering words that can never be heard
In the darkest hollows of this world
There stood a  lost broken soul



A hollow feeling that takes over him , that does not go away at the news that 'his faith won, he won' ...that both Geet & the Baby are fine ..does not go away with Dadi's comforting hug & warm smile ...


He is all cold inside, something in him has died....


Though he feels its Geet's trust that he killed ... but its his own trust in himself that was dying, trust that he could never ever wrong Geet ...

He feels disgusted in himself that he had voiced to end Geet's dream....A dream that  now to her is  life in itself , life that is now breathing in her womb.

His conscious having traveled through uncounted time & space makes him fall more more in his own eyes ...





There's a hole in my heart- A sharp pain in my head.
Something is missing inside; I feel like I'm dead.
My whole life seems like it's crashing down,
How can someone live with their heart torn?



Days back when they together had seen the baby for the first time , in awe, love & blessing his eyes had refused to look away from the monitor .... even the tears that made its appearance first time had no power to get him to move his eyes from the bundle of joy ....


But now..


Overridden by the guilt levied on him by his cruel fate he finds it impossible to look at the baby or meet Geet's expectant eyes ..that were seeking assurance from him,
 him of all the people to tell her if her baby was fine ...

The baby's sweetly mild heart beats & Geet's motherly concern were deafening him..grounding him to death.





I try to hide
But you just keep finding me
I try to run
But you are the one I bump
I try to forget
But you just smile and say

'Trying to run from yourself
Isn't going to get you anywhere'



Wedding preparations having began....the fairytale dream of hers coming true but one thing she misses seeing is the same joy in his eyes  that now sings in her soul


He is sad, unhappy , breaking down is all she can see when he attempts to smile at her, smile that fails to reach his eyes


His eyes that are mirror to his soul now revealed nothing to her but darkness & gloom...unable to get an answer to what is bothering him so much she makes him promise to her that he will smile & rejoice in sweet moments of bliss that life is now offering to them.


He promises to her with a heavy heart that like always he will make this experience to memorable for her, but within him he knows this time he wont be able to be true to his words, his promise to her & this further heaps the burden of guilt in him....





I stand alone unnoticed from a world sheltered around me vulnerable within my circumstances beyond me,
regrettable situation and time knows not of me
unforeseen changes as my life leaves me,
lost within it's supplication bound unto me,
I stand alone with my face hidden by shame for it consumes the life I breath within me



His anger towards himself makes him self-judgmental & he feels the happiness that now he is blessed with he does not deserve it , his fear tells him that  he does not deserve Geet's trust and the greatest gift she bringing home to him, being responsible for that li'l life ...


He does not feel the joy that he should as the guilt creeps in , all he feels is immense pain..pain that he must have cost Geet if owing to his one decision she could have lost her dream, now their dream.





Your fragile heart has been broken
I stand there with hatred to the source of your grief

My heart's pain, and my soul's torture
Unbearable are your tears to see
They fall from your eyes, they come from your heart
It burns with unforgiving despair



Faceless to the world  he walks around like a living corpse & unable to bear his silence , unable to stand his eyes filled with a great surge of sentiments piled in for release  &  the site of him shattering within himself

 Geet forces him to share with her the grief that is killing him slowly ,


'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'


The moment he dreaded , the moment he waited for & moment that will either kill him or mark his salvation comes.

Tears welled up in his eyes & like to make an confession to God he goes down on his knees  & for the first time addresses the Baby.

He introduces himself as a stranger, a name not as his father coz he feels he has lost that right.

I'm Sorry
he cries .....


Geet who was at first troubled by his having stoned his emotions gets rooted by his gesture ..to which he continues


He recollects to them the decision that he was forced to make that day & accuses himself that by making the 'selfish' choice he proved it that he is not deserving enough for their trust , their love.

He curses himself to have lived through that day.

He does not seek forgiveness as in his eyes his sin is so big that he himself will never be able to let go of this hatred for self.





'I see a reflection that I have never seen before, I see myself in Your armor.'

Geet moved with emotions both for the Baby & its Papa.... gets down infront of him as he breaks down now totally &  refuses to look in her eyes ............ tear in his eyes that made the most joyful most sight to her once ..now burns her soul...coz these tears are but flames that are emitting from the fire in which he is burning himself


'Your love is like a fire that burns for all to see'.


She holds in her hands his pain-stricken face that was now waiting for her verdict, his punishment...she wipes his tears as hers begin to flow at his plight & questions him why was he suffering this all alone when he was not the culprit but  only victim in the hands of destiny who alone stood on the verge  to lose everything at the moment & yet he blames himself ...she is in awe of his love & responsibility towards their baby.

She knows he will never forgive himself for that moment but assures him that her trust has not at all diminished but has grown by his admittance of the truth that if he choose to keep away from her she never could have known.....

She tells him that both Baby & Baby's Mummy know that he , Baby's Papa could have made the same decision if the child was his own , nothing could have changed it....

His unconditional love for her can never make him do anything that is not right for her ...as she always comes 'First' for him....she also tells him meeting his eyes for the very first time since that day , that their child could never find any better father than him in this whole world.


He kisses her hand at having not been misunderstood & still loved, trusted.


Maan who has never let her voice her gratitude or apology to him as he never felt the need for her to do it  .... says
 'Thank you'.





'You won't realize the distance you've walked until you take a look around and realize how far you've been.'


Now having re-lived the fear, grief , helplessness & pain they hold each other to their heart  with a content smile playing on their now peaceful faces  they  cherished in what they are blessed to share today, their love, their togetherness.


There came a time
When you face the toughest of fights
Searching for a light
We are lost in the darkest of nights

But deep in our soul
The future unfolds
Is bright as the rays of the sun
You have to believe in the power of love






I'm still in trance of the overwhelming  love & pain that Maan expressed through his eyes, his soul ..his whole being for Geet & their Baby ...
My trust, respect , pride & love for this man, Maan never ceases to grow...
Epitome of Love indeed He is.



love
Nandita
Nandita u have done it once again hun!ClapClapClapClapClapHeartHug..............u made me cryCry.....smileSmile..........feel so many emotions at the same time which cannot be expressed in words............................Well done Nandita!Thumbs Up............. u have put everything so beautifully dearSmile..................Just like divine and magical MAANEET ur touchy analysis which is like a sweet melody can heal anyone's pain, tears and drive away fears and give hope that even after the darkest night and worst nightmare........there can be sunshine......brightest day.........most beautiful dream which actually would turn into reality one day if v believe in it with our whole heart and soulSmile........thank u sooooooooo much for the beautiful melody which touches not only one' heart but also one's soulSmileHug

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meravigilisonanditasingh

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--Revv--
--Revv--

Joined: 26 June 2010
Posts: 2574

Posted: 11 January 2011 at 1:58am | IP Logged

Sorry Nandu.... read this beautiful post now..

 
They say a picture speaks a thousand words... But for me... ur words speak of thousand emotions...ClapClapClap

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

nanditasingh

nanditasingh IF-Sizzlerz
nanditasingh
nanditasingh

Joined: 01 August 2008
Posts: 15794

Posted: 11 January 2011 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by swetha10

wow itz beautiful..... am speechless...


thank you so much dear
nanditasingh IF-Sizzlerz
nanditasingh
nanditasingh

Joined: 01 August 2008
Posts: 15794

Posted: 11 January 2011 at 8:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by macho_muffin

Heyyy QC
 
O-M-G....YOU ARE FREAKING BRILLIANT!!!ClapClapClap
your post moved me to tears, just like GC's superb acting in yesterday's episode!!!....i can never ever ever get tired of saying this but your writing is simply beautiful QC!!!....the way you manage to get into the depth of the character, find brilliantly meaningful verses and pictures to along with your analysis....i am in awee of this post!!Embarrassed....you are soo talented, i really hope you gain all the success in life and your writing takes you to tremendous heights of glory!!Embarrassed....trust me, you deserve this and sooo much more....idk if u r planning to pursue writing as a career....its your choice, i am sure whatever you choose you will excel in it, as is already evident from your writing....but if u do take writing up, i will blindly buy anything and everything u write!
 
wow, idk where to start....my comments are worthless compared to this PERFECT post....i can't even pick my fav lines or something cuz there is no chance of choice....everything is perfect!Star.....yes, maan was disaapointed in breaking his own trust....yes, he said thank you to Geet to show how truly he is grateful to her....for what?....for his LIFE!....as she is to him!Embarrassed....a magical match made in heaven!!....once again i will say, maan is imperfectly perfect!!Embarrassed....yes his anger is sometimes uncontrollable and his actions sometimes seem rude or unjustifiable but i think everything he does is only and always for his loved ones! *haye*
 
loved the post and love you!!



hey ya girl...
thank you so much dear..i'm truly delighted that u liked it
Gurmeet indeed was superb ...again when is he not, but here he was at his best ever....
i'll sure keep yours & ever friend of mine who voiced same their advise in mind , i sure will..infact its me who is in awe at the generous response & encouragement you all are giving me ...i'm really touched & humbled by it

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

macho_muffin

nanditasingh IF-Sizzlerz
nanditasingh
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Joined: 01 August 2008
Posts: 15794

Posted: 11 January 2011 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sksg

Bravo! What an excellent depiction of Maan's feelings! You surpassed everything you have written before. Take a standing ovation from me today dear Nandu. Clap

Yes, Maan's love and the guilt born out of that very love is all that you described and more. You have captured it very well through the words and pictures. After reading your post, any addition I may make today will seem lame. 

For the first time today, I have also seen a jhalak of selflessness in Geet's love too. She, by binding him in yet another promise, I think, has fulfilled the duty born out of her love as both a mother and a lover. Following is how:

1) She made sure that if such situation arises, her baby will get the chance to live.

2) She also made sure that that decision is no longer Maan's. It is hers now. She made sure that he will never have to go through the kind of struggle that he went through when presented with this situation. She made sure he will never have to tread another path of guilt, and the associated feeling of not being able to forgive himself ever again. The pain will be no less for him in losing her, but the knowledge that it is her wish that he has upheld will not allow him to hold himself responsible. The cruelest thing would be to leave the responsibility on him to make the decision, and she spared him that much at least.


thank you so much dear
Sri .. thank you yet again for giving this beautiful view about Geet's point of view that made her do what she did ... make Maan promise

yes .. at first it sure dint seem so to me i was so much into Maan's grief that in the first instance it rather seemed cruel on him.. but later she was justified coz for her motherly love ...& now your thoughts gives it all a new pedestal ..i so wished you had made a post on this ..did u? did i miss?
nanditasingh IF-Sizzlerz
nanditasingh
nanditasingh

Joined: 01 August 2008
Posts: 15794

Posted: 11 January 2011 at 8:36pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mk.Gh

Awwww Nandu ..
 
First off wonderful post! Clap
 
Second off: I was dying to read your post for the past few days.. because I always look forward to the new light and poetic words you shine on every scene, every expression, every dialogue and make it your own. We get to live their story in a fresh new way with your words.. and that is what you call talent! I agree with everyone who says that your posts are truly very insipiring and creative.. I could never sit and think of such beautiful words to portray each and every episode and you do just that! And that is what makes it so fun to read your posts!
 
And on top of that you entertain us with your little captioned pictures which make the post more lively and give us an exhilarating experience! Please never stop enlightening our days with your posts, they are much needed and much appreciated as well! Your writing is truly one of a kind. Keep it up and I look forward to reading more of your posts in the near future. Big smile
 
Love,
 
Z
 
<3


thanks a ton dear ....
aww! i'm truly touched by such sweet words & trust me i owe it all to you & my other friends encouragement & support ...

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

roseinbloom

nanditasingh IF-Sizzlerz
nanditasingh
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Joined: 01 August 2008
Posts: 15794

Posted: 11 January 2011 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by mahikaa

loved this post you are amazing in presenting in words every tinny-winny details of Maan's emotions expressedClapHeartEmbarrassed


thanks Mahi

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