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Weekend Retreat 7 Scene 8 Page 9 Road Trip Cont2 (Page 4)

xaviara IF-Sizzlerz
xaviara
xaviara

Joined: 27 December 2005
Posts: 15040

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 7:04am | IP Logged
Awww Suchi, that was extremely emotional and heart touching !! I had tears in my eyes too ! I know how difficult it is for someone like Nivi to express her feelings and love, so I can understand her state of mind and her emotional turmoil !! U did it again sweetie ! It was really beautifully written !! *hugs*

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simran728milee1014gmann2010Suchi-

prajee Senior Member
prajee
prajee

Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 603

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 10:22am | IP Logged
Suchi.... too too good... superoooo super... Big smile
last scene was so romantic... Blushing
yearning for more.... thnks a lot akka... Smile

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Suchi-

nirjuu Senior Member
nirjuu
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Joined: 23 December 2010
Posts: 395

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 10:32am | IP Logged
Wow suchi.... Too good yaar.... It is far better than the current track... Plz continue soon.... Can't wait for the next part...

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Suchi-

ashred12 IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 26 July 2006
Posts: 7277

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 10:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Suchi-NivReniac

no dear I didnot see :  ) I guess we are having a telepathy heehehe

: )
u r rite, we do've a telepathy...Smile
hoping to see d next scene soon...

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simran728Suchi-

Sofna IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 08 January 2011 at 10:40am | IP Logged
Suchi OMG...TongueTongue...only yesterday after reading the elevator scene i was going to request u to get Nivi to wear a white sari.Embarrassed....but my net let me down n couldn't post..AngryAngry..reading today update i was like ShockedShocked.....PartyDancingHeart

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simran728Suchi-

Suchi- IF-Sizzlerz
Suchi-
Suchi-

Joined: 19 November 2009
Posts: 12555

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 11:40am | IP Logged

Scene 4


Viren knocked Bhupat rai's door and waiting with his hands folded, standing a few steps ahead of Niveditha.

 

She was remembering the moments of their trip down to dada saheb's room in the elevator. Viren had made no eye contacts with her during their descent. She did not realize how much his little gestures of affection had meant to her. Even a single moment of discord between them was proving to be detrimental to her.


Vandana was sitting on a sofa placed besides bhupat and yashodhara's bed.


Sidharth and Divya had arrived as Viren and niveditha entered in the room.

 

Acha hua thum sab aa gaye, tho aaj ka plan kya hai? Vandana asked sidharth

 

Ma main divya ko sight seeing ke liye leker jana chahtha hun, Sidharth said.

Viren aur niveditha bhi agar aana chahthay tho aa jaye aur hum sab do teen ghanton main wapis aa jayengay lunch tak He continued.


Viren shrugged as if it didn't really matter to him where he spent his time.


Vandana noticed that there was something wrong with him.


Kya hua viren? She asked tentatively


Viren nodded in a no, but did not say anything, his eyes looking down


 

Chachiji, viren aur main kahin aur ja rahe hain interrupted niveditha


At this, viren looked up with a start and looked at her.


Thum hi nay kaha tha na viren , she said indicating with her eyes towards vandana as if to handle the situation.


Han tayiji, main aur meri biwi kahin aur janay walay hain, aur waise bhi main nahi chahtha hun hum bhai aur babhi ki outing main kabab ki haddi banay.. Viren said with eagerness returning to his voice.


Acha acha teekh hai , jao aur agar dair ho jaye tho bahar kha lena lekin dinner tak vapis aa jana .. instructed vandana.

 

They all took leave from dada saheb and yashodhara and proceeded towards the exit.


Viren , kahan ja rahe ho thum asked sidharth


Abhi kuch plan nahi kiya hai viren said wanting to brush off any further conversations


Tho humaray saath chalo.. offered sidharth



No no bhai, aap bhabhi kay isharay nahi dekh rahe hain, agar main aa gaya saath main, voh tho mujhe kisi mountain clif sey dhakka deker , uper pahunchadengi. Aap please continue karay he said snorting



Chup karo viren , kiyun bahanay maar rahe ho. Thum chahthay ho ki nivi kay saath akele time spend karo aur ilzaam mujheper? Isko kehthay hain ulta chor kothwal ko dantay! Retorted divya

 

Viren gave a sneaky grin and bid them both farewell as they took off on their cars

 

He then turned around to face niveditha. His face etched with mock anger and child like fury.



Tho hum kahan ja rahe hain ? he asked her



Mujhe kya pata , thum hi tho keh rahe thay ki mujhe koi jagah dikhani hai.. tho wahin chalthay hain, said niveditha.



Hmm, acha abh chalna hai, mujhe nahi leker jana, He replied



Kiyun? Viren chalthay hain na .. she said


No argued viren


Lekin kiyun? Asked niveditha


Bus meri merzi replied viren


Naraz ho? Asked niveditha, as she turned to face him.



Thumhay kya faraq partha hai.  Thumhay pata hai ki mujhe thumharay chehray pay udaasi achi nahi lagthi aur thum ho ki'.


 

Ek kaam karo thum jao aur tayiji kay paas baito he replied folding his hands and turning away from her. He could see niveditha's face change with worry.



She thought that viren had mistaken her tears for something else. Perhaps he felt that he wronged her!


 

Nahi viren, suno na she said trying to come again in front of him, trying to explain that it was not what he thought


When viren continued to turn everywhere except in her direction


she looked at him and smiled. She slowly touched his arms and turned him around.


Ok I am sorry.. lo main kaan pakarthi hun maan jao please'


He took her hands off her and walked ahead to the orchard near their resort, with niveditha trailing right behind him.



(nivi: achha ji main haari chalo maan jaao na

viren: dekhi sab ki yaari mera dil jalaao na )2


 

nivi: chhote se kusoor pe aise ho khafaa

viren: roothe to huzooe the meri kya khataa

 

nivi: dekho dil na todo

viren: chhodo haath chhodo

 

nivi: dekho dil na todo

viren: arre chhodo haath chhodo

nivi: chhod diya to haath maloge samjhe

viren: aji samjhe

 

(nivi: achha ji main haari chalo maan jaao na

viren: dekhi sab ki yaari mera dil jalaao na) (2)

 

(nivi: jeevan ke yeh raaste lambe hai sanam

viren: kaatenge yeh zinadgi thokar kha ke hum) (2)

 

nivi: hoye zaalim saath le le

viren: achhe hum akele

 

nivi: hoye zaalim saath le le

viren: hey achhe hum akele

 

nivi: chaar kadam bhi chal na sakoge samjhe

viren: haan samjhe

 

nivi: achha ji main haari chalo maan jaao na

viren: dekhi sab ki yaari mera dil jalaao na

 

nivi: jaao reh sakoge na tum bhi chain se

viren: tum to khair lootna jeene ke maze

 

nivi: kya karna hai jee ke

viren: ho rehna kissi ke

 

nivi: kya karna hai jee ke

viren: arre ho rehna kissi ke

 

nivi: hum na rahe to yaad karoge samjhe

viren: samjhe

 

(Nivi: achha ji main haari chalo maan jaao na

Viren: dekhi sab ki yaari mera dil jalaao na) (2)




Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 08 January 2011 at 10:21pm

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NivRen_Luvu4eveprajeesalekh1paki_angelmilee1014dmg_roks_antaracelestaetamushiShayafanFaizuuNivRenbhavnahgmann2010AnamikaSJainashred12knumnumxaviaraSofnamoniluvskinshuk

moniluvskinshuk IF-Stunnerz
moniluvskinshuk
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Joined: 12 November 2009
Posts: 35519

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
OMGGG suchi wonderful . I read all 4 scenes of dis week's retreats n Yaarr wht a wonderful work u r dongg dear . Simplyyy amazingg . Plzz continue soon . Watnggg for next

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Suchi-

salekh1 Senior Member
salekh1
salekh1

Joined: 05 July 2010
Posts: 888

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 12:31pm | IP Logged
WONDERFULLLLL Tongue
NivRenn were amazingg..
Beautiful writing..Big smile

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Suchi-

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