Baat Hamari Pakki Hai


Baat Hamari Pakki Hai
Baat Hamari Pakki Hai

Do Dil.... Mil Rahe Hain. ..A new ff(updte pg 62) (Page 10)

sash10 Goldie

Joined: 30 October 2010
Posts: 1177

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 7:31am | IP Logged
wow i cant get enough of this !!! u rite soooo wellll!!!!

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kchitra77 Goldie

Joined: 18 August 2010
Posts: 1296

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 7:38am | IP Logged
MARIS.......absolutely beautiful writing yaar!!! Su with due respect to u i praise Maris that he equals u in bringing out our emotions while reading it....i mean just like Sheila said i was able to visualize them both just as u described n felt that romance flowing between them. Superb Maris.....plz continue soon...Smile

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shobrakapooor IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 November 2010
Posts: 6958

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:16am | IP Logged
maris continue

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shobrakapooor IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 November 2010
Posts: 6958

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 10:06am | IP Logged
great description of shravan and sanchi  i am givin u the award 4 best story writer in india forums he whats the full form of ff can u tell me

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Mr.Zk Goldie

Joined: 06 December 2010
Posts: 1603

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
Maris Wonderful Update..I just loved the way u Write..Its so Amazing and Wonderful...Cant Say in Words....As Sunaina u also Makes us to imagine...Thanx for the PM...Continue Soon..

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nycsweetie IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 March 2008
Posts: 11383

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:31pm | IP Logged
g8 update...thx for the pm

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maris08 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 03 December 2010
Posts: 7163

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 3:25am | IP Logged
Chapter 14
Time stopped... An eternity passed.... A lifetime lived....
Both of them cldnt avert their eyes.... It was a magnetic attraction difficult to break..All this appraisal of each other took only a min; but it seemed like an infinity...
The admin staff cleared his magic spell broke.. and both were suddenly aware of their surroundings..
 " Miss. Icecream walli bechari" Shravan mouth blurted out involuntarily...
"excuse me" retorted saachi..with a jump shravan climbed on to the stage and stood before her.. The admin staff introduced them.. "Ms. Saachi sharma; our music and dance dept head..... Mr. Shravan Jaiswhal; the event management co. head... Ms. sharma, Mr. Jaiswhal I'll leave you two to discuss abt the show and the arrangements..." saying this he left them...
Shravan cldnt believe his eyes,this person who had earlier presented such a contrast of emotions was standing before him at such a close range...
"Ms. Sharma or can I call you saachi ji.. tell me what you want me to do..Iam here to oblige your every wish" with a serious face betraying a smiling  and twinkling eyes Shravan was all sincere..
"Mr. Jaiswhal, this annual day is a medely of song and dance, drama and ballet.. The older children will enact a drama and some others will do hip hop, contemporary,and other styles of dances..all under the direction and supervision of my assistants and visiting dance teachers..
Iam incharge of this Fairy tale ballet Rapunzel, which will be presented in an Indianised version, as a medely of classical dance forms like Kathak, Odissi, Bharthnatyam and Mohini attam.. I have written the music scores,composed and choreographed this ballet personally... this will be the hightlight of the function and the whole school and the public in general are eagerly awaiting it..
leave no stoned unturned and coordinate with the Art and Production dept and help me in making this show a success"
Shravan heard her voice droning on, half registering what she said, but his eyes were taking in the sight before him.. so much happiness and enthusiasm, but why was she so sad to the point of tears the other day , he thought... Hmm one day or other I will get to know , he was sure of it..
Chapter 15
Saachi saw Shravan so intentely seeing her without blinking his eyelids, for a moment she doubted whether he was sleeping with his eyes open..
" Mr. Jaiswhal are u listening.. you do know abt this fairy tale  Rapunzel rt... Its important  for you to know the story well so that this ballet can be executed well..."
" Pari; I know a pari standing before meEmbarrassed... Tail; I used to wear a tail for the Hanuman part I played in schoolLOL" he mumbled to himself.." Saachi ji  I dont remember the story can you plz refresh my memory.."Okay here it goes" started Saachi
A long time back a childless couple live in a house overlooking a beautiful garden full of fruits and flowers bounded by a high wall and guarded by a witch..
One day bowing to his wife's wish a fruit named rapunzel was stolen by the man and eaten by both..The witch punished them by taking away their new born baby girl  and named her rapunzel and imprisoned her in a high tower, devoid of any staircase and doors but only a window... Years passed and both rapunzel and her hair grew...the witch always visited her by asking her to untie her hair and throw it over the window, thro' which she climbed in..
One day a neighbouring Prince was passing by and heard Rapunzel sing a pining aching song.. Curious enough, he saw no way to reach the tower and waited in shadows. With the witch's secrect out he climed into the tower to see a beauty before him and fell in love with her and wanted to marry her..soon the lovers secret was out and the witch cut rupenzel's hair and left her in deep woods.the prince who realised his love was gone  was punished blind by the witch..Later in his wanderings around the forest he came across the divine voice and knew it was his love.. Rapunzel's tears fell on his eyes and lo and behold he was able to see..
Both were married and lived happily ever after"'.... narrated Saachi 
Shravan was spell bound both by the narration and the  by the narrator.... He watched the play of all varied emotions on her face... he felt as though he was the prince and she was rapunzel.. he cld visualise the tower, her long tresses and him climbing on it just to be with her..he cld mentally picturise were the spot lights shld be focussed, were the props need to plased etc.. etc..
A professional he was he cld see this ballet becoming a success.. His impression of Saachi was changing fast and he started respecting her..
Thanking her for her time and narration and promising to give all help he started for his office...
Shravan walked towrds the exit thinking abt saachi... what a person, what a package.. with a dreamy look and crooked smile he was recalling the sight of her,When a small voice spoke to him.. "shravan , hey shravan".... "khon hai.. yeh aawaz kahanse aaya"...he looked around and finding no one shrugged his shoulders and stepped forward...
"Arre Shravan.. suno toh... mein thumhara anthar aathma hun"... "khon anthar yaami" blurted shravan... " arre mein anthar yaami nahi.. anthar aathma, your inner soul; your conscience speaking... "Ho ho where were u all this time, why speak suddenly"..."I was dormant ,sleeping inside you; but the time has come for me to wake up; and if necessary I will errupt also".... "accha teek hai  teek hai"he said..not wanting to be disturbed from his reverie..
" shravan kya horaha hai.. pehele baar ek ladki ki din thumne kya kaha tha ; not interested in girls"... "nein nein this is not a ladki , this is a lady... note this diff...thum khon bhai; daal mein kaala.. jaavo chup chaap sojaun.. aur mujhe akhela chod do". All this while he was talking  and gesticulating to himself, people around him were giving him stares and smirking and smiling to themselves.. paagal ladka...
Shravan oblivious to all this and obvious only to the vision of Saachi walked all the way to his office leaving behind his bike at the school!!

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Davi IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 June 2006
Posts: 3362

Posted: 13 January 2011 at 3:57am | IP Logged
Wow maris. Its awesome. As i read sachi narration of fairy tale, i cud only visualise barun nd ankita performance. Shravans antaar aatma lol. I love shravan in ur ff, hes funny, cool yet still responsible...thanx 4 pm

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