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SS - Tere Khusboo Mein Base Khat- EPILOGUE Pg 13 (Page 6)

rooj-i IF-Sizzlerz
rooj-i
rooj-i

Joined: 09 January 2007
Posts: 13493

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 11:50am | IP Logged
OK finished part 2

so I didn't like it when Sunil asked her to stop her work...sorry am an independent type of person...

however I respected the fact that she did for him and their love. It is really nice to see that both our love-birds fight like that, the cute nok jhok...

there is one thing I noticed: their romance is like Shanak...is that what you were trying to show? that Shanak are a copy of our Mads and Sunil?
if yes then it worked with me!

Good Job Saaz!!!

i really liked it! it's different and I like the fact that this madhavi is shown to go over her past like Sunil did in the show
loved their letter game.

Sairaaaa Goldie
Sairaaaa
Sairaaaa

Joined: 04 December 2010
Posts: 1981

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 12:24pm | IP Logged
^Saaz; reading it finally!
 
OK...Part 1 was amazing! I loved the ghazal,beautiful! I mean were did you get it from? You had amazingly weaved the old world charm and how she could feel Sunil! totally heart-wrenching! I really hope that CV's revive this track again in rbo,it could have been shown beautifully if shown correctly!
The first part was very deep and never felt sorry for Madhvi as ever before! Disapprove 
 
Brilliant part yaar! Will read part 2 and 3 soon and comment!


Edited by -Saira- - 08 January 2011 at 12:24pm
Anu80 Senior Member
Anu80
Anu80

Joined: 01 December 2010
Posts: 632

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 3:28pm | IP Logged

totally loved it... and every scene you wrote was like so true to real life but still had the typical Madhavi Sunil touch...  I was playing the song in my mind while reading it... and the FB awesome...

Yaar tum kyo nahi ban jaathi CV??Wink...
Anu80 Senior Member
Anu80
Anu80

Joined: 01 December 2010
Posts: 632

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 3:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by rooj-i

OK finished part 2

so I didn't like it when Sunil asked her to stop her work...sorry am an independent type of person...

however I respected the fact that she did for him and their love. It is really nice to see that both our love-birds fight like that, the cute nok jhok...

there is one thing I noticed: their romance is like Shanak...is that what you were trying to show? that Shanak are a copy of our Mads and Sunil?
if yes then it worked with me!

Good Job Saaz!!!

i really liked it! it's different and I like the fact that this madhavi is shown to go over her past like Sunil did in the show
loved their letter game.
 
I would say that brings out the effect "like Father like Son"!!

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

kubare

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 7:58pm | IP Logged

@Rafia'Thanks so much for your detailed comment'I really enjoyed your observations'actually if you notice I am trying to say that Sunil never even asked him mom 'he just assumes'and that used to be the case back in the day'isn't it?? Thanks again'Tongue


@Krishna'my lady in pink'trust you to pick on all the right emotions, thanks dear Big smile


@ Deepali'Haye'mere dialogues tumhe bha gaye'aww I am a huge dialogue fan myself'so this comment was so cool..thanks..Big smile


 @SYS: thank you ..yes, I was extremely upset when they dropped it'in fact what riled me up even more was the line Shaan says when his father tells him they are not divorcing''yeh sab sam ke wajah se'who meri lucky charm hai''.man they killed the divorce story with thatAngry'CVs owe us so much'details of the ghazal are on the first page dearie


@ Wooster..screenplay!!!???'aap mera mazaak uda rahe ho na???Wink


@zenn..,'idea to vaise emerged becos of my anger towards the CVs'... and tera OS ka next part kabhi release ho raha hai??Tongue


@Rooj jee'haye haye'2 time comments'haila'oh sweetie, mads giving up her job'this is 35 years ago'women gave up a lot to make it easier for the next generations'how far we have come'havn't we??..thanks so much for your comment esp post torment...LOLLOL...love you for that..LOL

Actually I tried not so much shanak love but more of incorporating some of Shaan in both of them'romance from father, impulses from mother'.


 @Saira'like I said details of the ghazal on first page'one of my favorites'Do read part 2'you may want to hug Madhavi'Big smile


@Anu'thanks so much..yes the ghazal plays in my head when I write'and I am glad that's what happens when you read'becos that is one of the desired effect'thanks Tongue..And spot on the 'like father like son'


@Vandoo @Souma @Gaayu @Aditee'Hug



Edited by saaaz - 08 January 2011 at 8:05pm

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rafia 24-Deepali-

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
Her tears don't stop flowing'''''
----------------
PART III

Tere khushboo mei basey khat mai jalata kaise
Pyar mei dubey hue khat mei jalata kaise
Tere haathon ke likhe khat mai jalata kaise

Madhavi wipes her tears..and she walks towards the study, this time, her mind, feet and heart are in tandem'she stops outside the study..when she hears KFD's voice. 

Khanak: Kya??!!? aap ek doosre ko patra likhte the
Sunil: Of course, matlab Haan, bilkul..
Khanak: Matlab shaadi se pehle aap dono chup chup ke milte the? aur woh bhi khaton ke zariye?
Sunil: haan, actually Madhavi ke pitaji bahut kathor the, aur main pehle apne bal boote pe khada hona chahta tha isi liye hum chup chup ke mila karte the
Khanak: Lekin khat kyoon? Phone kyun nahin?
Sunil: Undino humare ghar pe phone nahin tha aur anyway chup chup ke milna ek doosre ko khat likhna..us mein baat hi kuch aur hai..
Khanak: Lekin agar aap mein se koyi thraphik (traffic) mein phas gaya tho?
Sunil: Tho kya? Intezaar karte?
Khanak: Lekin kitni der tak?
Sunil: (with a chuckle) Arrey.. Madhavi tho meri har roj intezaar karti
Khanak: Kya? Aada, mujhe vishwas nahi hota ki aap mummyji ko intezaar karvaate..
Sunil: Khanak jo pyaar manvena mein hai..woh aur kissi cheez mein nahin
Khanak: THo shaadi ke baad khat sab band?
Sunil: Bilkul nahin..hum dono ek doosre ko shaadi ke baad bhi khat likhte the..madhavi din mein mujhe likhti thi aur main raat mein unhe padhta tha' Haan lekin yeh baat alag hai ki Madhavi ke khaat jitney jyaada hote jaa rahe the, mere ootne hi kam
Khanak: Woh kyoon..?
Sunil:  Main kaam mein itna masroof hone laga ki main Madhavi ko time nahi de saka.. bache bade hone lage..aur kahin na kahin Madhavi akeli ho gayi thi..pata nahin'maine tabhi jyaada dhyaan nahin diya aur aaj main'
Khanak:  Shayad vaqt aagaya hai Aada ki aap mummyji ko aur ek khat likhe'
Sunil:  Mere paas kenhe ke liye kuch baaki nahi raha tho likhoon kya?
Khanak: kabhi kabhi aada humein waha se shuru karna chahiye jahan se shuruwat huyi'.ek choti si shuruwat bhi baat ko doobara aage badhati hai'phir chahe woh..
Sunil: (with a smile): teen shabd ho ya dhai akshar'hai na??? 
Khanak: Kya Aada, aap mera mazaak uda rahe ho???

Sunil pats her head with a laugh and admonishes her to bed' 

Meanwhile Madhavi the third and hidden party to this conversation walks back to the bedroom, lies down and rubs her hand over Sunil's side of the empty bed, glances upward to his desk. Goes and sits at his desk, runs her hand and fingers across the edges of his books, appointment diary, notepad, pen holder, table clock notices how late in the night it is, picks up the pen and starts writing on the notepad' and devoid of any self realization falls asleep...


Tune dunia ki nigahon se jo bachkar likhe
Saal-ha-saal mere naam barabar likhe
Kabhi din mei to kabhi raat ko uthkar likhe
 
Tere khushboo mei basey khat mai jalata kaise
Pyar mei dubey hue khat mei jalata kaise
Tere haathon ke likhe khat mai jalata kaise




Edited by saaaz - 08 January 2011 at 8:27pm

The following 21 member(s) liked the above post:

Anu80sangitasenguptaktymfanangel_9.Rupali.hotchpotchRBOgarfield1209roadsidejunkeyiluvmanar-SYS-purvi08PhoenixRadaraditeesimikrFanaahkubaresnehapatrotogepe30bones88-Deepali-shanakyasharan

bones88 IF-Stunnerz
bones88
bones88

Joined: 14 August 2005
Posts: 27340

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 8:52pm | IP Logged
Brilliant Saaz... loveeed loveeed itHeart
snehapatro IF-Sizzlerz
snehapatro
snehapatro

Joined: 06 January 2010
Posts: 20308

Posted: 08 January 2011 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
very cute Mads chupke se sab baate khanak-sunil convo sunrahi thi.....
haha even mujhe viswas nahi hua like khanak that sunil Mads ko intezaar karvatha tha.....so sweet of Sunil....LOL....aur Madhavi kuch jyaada hi loving hai yaar credit goes to saaz......LOL
amazing khanak-sunil convo Saaz Loved it........ClapClap
abh part 4 ke liye waiting..............Big smile


Edited by snehapatro - 08 January 2011 at 9:45pm

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