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Rang Badalti Odhani
Rang Badalti Odhani

SS - Tere Khusboo Mein Base Khat- EPILOGUE Pg 13

saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:06pm | IP Logged

HELLO SHELLO..... Okay...so the title of my post intrigued you ..now the matter of my post shall hopefully not confuse...you....here goes....

When they cut the whole Sunil-Madhavi divorce track so abruptly, I was one the many viewers who was extremely disappointed, while a part of me understood that this track may not be taken very well by 'youth' another part of me thought how condescending to think that youngsters would not appreciate a track about parents and their tribulations'.because after all isn't it about second chances, finding love yet again in that very place that has given you most comfort'.

So here I am with my own version of love revived between kutkut and rasmalai'' I have used the Ghazal TERE KHUSBOO MEIN BASE KHAT as a backdrop to the story'the ghazal also moves the story forward' hence not a typical narrative. For those uninitiated'the song is from the movie Arth and sung by Jagjit Singh and written by Rajindranath Rehbaar.  If you have music in your heart, the song is guaranteed to move you'. This SS shall not have more than 4 parts.

PART I: Pg 1

PART II: Pg 3

PART III: Pg 6

PART IVA: Pg 8

Last Part: Pg 10

Epilogue: Pg 13


 PART I

 Tere khushboo mei basey khat mai jalata kaise

Pyar mei dubey hue khat mei jalata kaise

Tere haathon ke likhe khat mai jalata kaise


Madhavi and Khusboo were returning back home from yet another mundane kitty party. Seated in the back seat of the car, while Khusboo was rattling off tit bits of gossip she had heard from other ladies 'Madhavi could hear her yet was listening to her lost thoughts'kitty parties and Khusboo incessant chatter were filling up her life.. but yet she was suffocating..feeling cold and empty within...she wanted to reach out for something..what!?! she couldn't tell.

 

Suddenly the car came to a halt. They had reached. Dharam announced.. "Madam ghar aagaye"..Khusboo muttering her usual thank gods and what nots'Madhavi could only think of Sunil's 'pinchara ghar' comment, and wondered'does he feel caged too?? Tears glistened and she wondered what was wrong with her, since when does she care what he feels, it is not like he cares for her'anymore at least. She heard Dharam's voice behind her.. "Madam, Saab yeh file gaadi mein bhool gaye the"..She takes the black file from him, nods. While she adjusts the large file along with the hand purse in her hand, a bunch of envelopes fall on the floor.

 

She bends to pick them up and even before her hand reaches them, she knows what they are..they smell like the aftershave Sunil uses'the Old Spice Musk aftershave she buys for him every year as an anniversary gift since they were married. She recollects suddenly the morning of their anniversary the year his business gained its first major profit. As a double celebration she had bought him an imported after shave and left it in the bathroom'

 

Flashback

Sunil: Madhavi yeh kya hai'

Mad: Come on Sunil, ab tumhara high society mein uthna baithna hoga..you cannot use that OLD SPICE anymore'

Sunil: Please yaar, mujhe wohi chahiye'

Mad: Meri baat suniye'

Sunil: Tum samajhti kyun nahin ho'uskee khusboo mein tum basi ho..

Mad: Pagal tho nahi hogaye ho..main kya musky smell karti hoon

Sunil: Nahin'lekin pata nahin'aisa lagta hai ke tum mujhe choo rahi ho'

Mad: What rubbish

Sunil (circling his hands around her shoulder): I am not joking!!

Mad: Sunil, jokes apart'yeh sab important hai'trust me'

Sunil: Come on'Madhavi'..Arrey puri duniya ko soongne do mera after shave'koyi parwa nahi'lekin tum mere pass raho' mera iman, shaan aur jaan tum ho'my secret to success

Mad: Aur aap ek number ke dramebaaz ho''''''..

 

Sunil was late for his meeting that morning'.Madhavi comes out of her thoughts, grabs the fallen letters and puts them in her purse and leaves the file on the coffe table in the drawing room. She rushes upstairs wanting to read the letters, as she takes the flight of stairs...a sudden feeling of warmth enters her body'she passes by the study...peeps in to see Sunil with his laptop and ear phones, wearing a horrible color T-shirt with its collar jutted out'she is tempted to go and fold it down'her feet automatically moving into the room'when she sees Khanak come and sit next to Sunil '.

 

Jinko dunia ki nigahon se chhupaye rakha'
Jinko ek umr kaleje se lagaye rakha'
Deen jinko, jinhe imaan banaye rakha' 

Tere khushboo mei basey khat mai jalata kaise

Pyar mei dubey hue khat mei jalata kaise

Tere haathon ke likhe khat mai jalata kaise

 

 

To be continued'

Review is mandatory'

My Shanak FFhttp://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1596058



Edited by saaaz - 21 February 2011 at 1:39am

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saaaz IF-Dazzler
saaaz
saaaz

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 4210

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:44pm | IP Logged
Tongue Wink

Edited by saaaz - 19 January 2011 at 2:16pm

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iluvmanar

snehapatro IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 06 January 2010
Posts: 20308

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 11:53pm | IP Logged
Wait saaz still reading....... Old Spice Musk aftershave..hehe maaza agaye.....

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iluvmanar

dr.dsr Senior Member
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Joined: 24 November 2010
Posts: 873

Posted: 07 January 2011 at 12:00am | IP Logged

Majorly speechless (read: spellbound!!!)......and getting me to do that.......the greatest compliment in itself!!!!

Absolutely loved use of the ghazal as a metaphor......ClapClapClap
 
Ur greatest strength.....dialogues!!!.....the Sunil-Madhavi convo was brilliant, Matey!!!!
 
Keep them coming......


Edited by dr.dsr - 07 January 2011 at 12:02am

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iluvmanar.Dilwale.kubaresnehapatro

snehapatro IF-Sizzlerz
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snehapatro

Joined: 06 January 2010
Posts: 20308

Posted: 07 January 2011 at 12:10am | IP Logged
Hey saaz Mad-Sunil Convo toooooo gudddd yaar  loved it continue waiting for the other parts......Ghazal was apt for them.......haha Convo rocking maaza aagaya......Big smile

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iluvmanarkubare

togepe30 IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 12 July 2005
Posts: 31116

Posted: 07 January 2011 at 12:36am | IP Logged
Awesome....I liked....Very deep and Reflective !
And REAL !!!!!!!!!
I could feel the emptions....And yes this is how it should have been...Afterall they did have a love marriage for god's sake....It wasnt a forced arranged marriage....!
 
I absolutely adored it !!
 
P.S- M back everyone...My first post after coming back...Hehehee !! M glad its on Saazyy's topic !!

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iluvmanarsnehapatro

kubare IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 09 May 2006
Posts: 19907

Posted: 07 January 2011 at 12:44am | IP Logged

Saaz darling....I log in and this is the first thing I see....aww...you were not the only one who felt that Sunil Madzs divorce track was not given a proper treatment...it really had such great potential...but alas....

Aww.....love that Ghazal...and perfect indeed for this couple...loved your use of those stanza with the story ,...Old Spice Aftershave, the dialogues...the feeling of warmth that invaded her on Sunil being near...her footsteps moving automatically towrds him...brilliant piece of writing indeed....ClapClapClapClapClap
 
Continue soon please....Big smile

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iluvmanar.Dilwale.snehapatro

kubare IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 09 May 2006
Posts: 19907

Posted: 07 January 2011 at 12:49am | IP Logged
Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuu
You back...God missed you...*muwah?* so how was your grandparents wedding??

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iluvmanartogepe30

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