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STORY CONTEST 3 - RESULTS ON PAGE 10 (Page 7)

dr.fahmi Goldie
dr.fahmi
dr.fahmi

Joined: 15 July 2009
Posts: 1479

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 7:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by luv_cid_shreya

Thanks to everyone who commented on the stories. One of those stories is mine and I read the comments everyone posted about it and I'm happy that everyone liked it. While I've written stories before, I never ever wrote one centred about CID. Usually I write murder mysteries or romance, so it was sort of hard to write a story about a robbery without including murder in it. LOLThumbs Up
almost all of them had murder in them. FW ne bigaad dya hai sub koLOLLOLmurder na ho tu suspense he nahi rehta. looking forward to ur reviewsSmile

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Athene

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Athene
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Posted: 12 January 2011 at 8:53am | IP Logged
Originally posted by dr.fahmi

Originally posted by luv_cid_shreya

Thanks to everyone who commented on the stories. One of those stories is mine and I read the comments everyone posted about it and I'm happy that everyone liked it. While I've written stories before, I never ever wrote one centred about CID. Usually I write murder mysteries or romance, so it was sort of hard to write a story about a robbery without including murder in it. LOLThumbs Up
almost all of them had murder in them. FW ne bigaad dya hai sub koLOLLOLmurder na ho tu suspense he nahi rehta. looking forward to ur reviewsSmile
 
I will start rereading the stories today and will post my comments later today as I lost my original file with all my comments. Cry


Edited by luv_cid_shreya - 12 January 2011 at 9:48am
bhinder.thind IF-Dazzler
bhinder.thind
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Posted: 12 January 2011 at 8:56am | IP Logged
@dr. Fahmi   well some don't have murder included..... and yes, just finished by reading comments .. what does dragging means ?
Bhavanab IF-Sizzlerz
Bhavanab
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Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:44am | IP Logged
Bhinder dragging according to my reviews means that at some places a scene seems to be stretched !!! I mean that those scenes could have been written in a more compact way !!! It just felt stretched at some places !!
Athene Viewbie
Athene
Athene

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Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by bhinder.kamboj

@dr. Fahmi   well some don't have murder included..... and yes, just finished by reading comments .. what does dragging means ?


Actually dragging is a term used in writing a lot. It means that a scene is being forced to continue even though it should end. I've used the term in my reviews as well. I'm posting them in a little while.

For example, if CID caught a criminal and the criminal confessed, unnecessary dragging would happen if CID continued to question the criminal and the criminal kept repeating what he or she had said before.


Edited by luv_cid_shreya - 12 January 2011 at 9:48am
Athene Viewbie
Athene
Athene

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Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:54am | IP Logged

Story 1

I really liked the story. I've never been to Rajasthan, but the way you described everything made me feel as if I knew exactly how Maharajas and Maharanis are. You did deviate from the plot though and missed parts of the plot all together. Nevertheless, the way you handled the theft case was very good. It was quite CID centric. ClapThumbs Up

Story 2

I liked the casual start to the story. However, the point of the gold being used for research was missing. I really liked the way you used each CID officer, especially Daya, who was very sweet. I just want to make one suggestion to you. I noticed that you capitalized each name, but you could do without that. It makes the story look very messed up. The team was well used and everyone played an important part. I felt that the duo scene in the end was too far stretched and used words that were a bit hard to imagine. Nevertheless, I liked the investigation. ClapThumbs Up

Story 3

The cake scene in the beginning was very interesting and good. Again, I liked the whole investigation portion of your story. You also used simple clues and many investigation tools such as fingerprinting to solve the case. However, at many points throughout the story there were problems with connectivity. The scenes simply did not flow from one to the next. Apart from that, a nice attempt. ClapThumbs Up

Story 4

Great story. It was thorough and compact. There were no unnecessary scenes or lines. The team was well used and everyone was present. Again, the only slight problem I had was with a bit of the connectivity, but otherwise, very nice. ClapThumbs Up

Story 5

Another great story. The whole investigation portion was good, but your story was pretty long. It took a long time for me to finish the stories and in parts it felt like the story was dragging. Otherwise, very good. ClapThumbs Up

Story 6

Again, this was another very long story. If you had written your story in dialogue form instead of narration form, then it would have helped a lot and decreased the length. Another great investigation. The team was distributed well and everyone had their own portion. On the whole, it was a very good story. ClapThumbs Up

Story 7

A good story. It was short and kept the pace well. The suspense was well built and team distribution and storyline were good. There was no unnecessary dragging. Nice story. ClapThumbs Up

Story 8

This story was really too good. I liked all the twists and turns you used in your story. The forensic scene in the night was very good. It gave me the feel as if I was actually watching this story. Overall very good. ClapThumbs Up

Story 9

This story was good, but it seemed to be dragging a lot. You kept losing pace, but the flow was good. The ending was very nice. The only other problem I had was with the trio. They didn't seem like themselves or the way I've seen them throughout CID. Nonetheless, a good attempt. ClapThumbs Up

Story 10

I don't have much to say about this story. It was short and simple. I liked it and especially liked the way you maintained the continuity. Keep up the good work. ClapThumbs Up

Story 11

The storyline and the team distribution were good. Again, there was some dragging in places, but that wasn't a problem because the pace was well kept. Good work. ClapThumbs Up

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

dr.fahmiShagnikaLadyMeringueastonishDemonStarBhavanab

dr.fahmi Goldie
dr.fahmi
dr.fahmi

Joined: 15 July 2009
Posts: 1479

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 10:40am | IP Logged
Originally posted by bhinder.kamboj

@dr. Fahmi   well some don't have murder included..... and yes, just finished by reading comments .. what does dragging means ?
yep u r right, some of them dont have murder includedSmile
m_kal2011 IF-Sizzlerz
m_kal2011
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Joined: 25 June 2010
Posts: 10827

Posted: 12 January 2011 at 9:43pm | IP Logged
I was going through the reviews of the story. I found that many have mentioned that in the given plot the gold was for research, but here is the plot where there is no mention of research. Does project always mean research only?
There is a top secret project which a company is working on. They need 100 gold bars for the manufacture of some components. A guy, Raghu goes to the bank to get the gold bars. He puts the gold bars in his briefcase, which also contains some top secret documents. He puts the briefcase in the back seat of his car. There's a plainclothes cop with a gun along with him in the left side seat. The car is locked, the windows are shut, A/C is on. Raghu drives straight from the bank to his office, which is 10 kms away from the bank. Traffic is heavy, it's broad daylight. When he reaches his destination, the briefcase is gone. No damage to the car, no locks broken, no windows broken.

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