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my friend has a problem plss give advice

kashkasukajenn Senior Member
kashkasukajenn
kashkasukajenn

Joined: 25 November 2010
Posts: 867

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 12:44am | IP Logged
Hey guysss pls help my friend has a big problem which I will explain but can u all share ur advice later on as I need as much as I can get.

My friend is a very sweet simple down to earth girl ,she tries to make everyone happy even if that means hurting herself.she is confident but not over confident she talks to everyone ,prays for everyone ,cares for everyone and basically loves everyone.earlier she had fallen in love with this guy who unfortunatley I have never met but my friend told me that she loved him  more than anything and that he had the same thoughts for her.My friend had never ever before talked about having a crush so I thought that maybe u know its a crush but she then told me wat she felt for him ,she said she would die for him,leave everyone for him bcz  he meant the world to her.She told me that he takes such care of her that nobody in her life ever has ,he makes her feel like nobody ever has.I was very happy for my friend and I knew that they both truely loved each other bcz what I  heard of the guy  he  had made me want to fall in love.They were going to get engaged soon for which everyone was  excited about .Soon I was going on holidays for 4 months after my holiday when I returned everything had changed .I met my friend who used to be sweet and bubbly and in love had now become a rock  adn bitter than ever she never spoke to anyone unless important ,always cried and hardly ever smiled and if she did I knew it wasn't real bcz Iam her friend so I know that stuff.I tried to ask my friends but they said they didn't wanted to talk about it as its something bad and so for my friend I had the courage to go up to my mum and ask her what had happened as noone would tell  me and I knew my mother would find  out one way or the other.So then my mother told me that my friend and her lover  had been involved in an car accident where my friend  had hurt herself so much that she remained in coma for a long time and there were very low chances for her survival,which made her boy think that maybe she is not even going to come back to life so y is he waisting his live and os he just ran away.Soon my friend got better but when she find out that her lover had left her in times of such hardship she stopped believing in love straight away and I don't balme her I mean what type of love is that leaves u when ur in trouble to go enjoy and have a happy life.My friend was now a rock recently a new guy had moved into the block he was vry sweet and friendly .He feel in love with her and my friends and I knew bcz he came into our friendhsip group but noone had dared to tell my hurt friend as she doen't believe in love now.So the guy decided for her sake her smile he should help her find her old love just to make her feel better to make her feel she was not rejected.They looked and looked  and went to places together ,there was a rumour about them staying in the same hotel room ,there were rumours about them being to close or them being together but I din't believe eitehr bcz I knew my friend would never do such a thing but teh society has said my friend has no reputation bcz she is going around with a guy who she ahs no clue about they r staying under the same roof and the goss was spread around my friends family was very upset and people used to say really bad stuff about them like they couldn't raise a daughter and thats what happens if there r no brothers and they have gotten so old they can't handle their daughter and stuff.Hearing this the daughter decided to come back home and started crying bcz she knew the only way she could save her family's reputation is by marrying the guy who she had been staying with and so the guy who was already in love with her decided to marry her and so they got married .my friend still hadn't started similing I mean all the dreams she had of  getting married with her lover making him his husband living with him for the rest of her life taking care of him raising their kids together had all gone now. Everyone and even I thought that my friend is really happy and is going to have a really happy married life And so my friend came to me and confessed that everyone has accepted her husband except for her she says how can the world forget our love for each other so easily and she is like she respects her husband a lot and stuff  but she says how can u all
forget what I told u .She started screaming to me and said Ima evil she said I broke all the promises my lover and I had made we promised if we ever lost each other we will look for each other no matter what we will not let this relationship go if one isn't commited we have to make sure the other one dosen't give up.So i asked my friend y is she talking about all this stuff now bcz she had found out that her lover is alive but is now paralazyed .She says he went away from me bcz he wanted me to have all the happiness in the world which he thought  he couldn't give me bcz he is paralazyed  and he knew he can't give me kids and get married to me in a proper way he thought he will take my happiness away but now he wants me to come him to him bcz he can't take this any longer can't be away from her and needs her back.
On one side my friend is a wife whose husband lover her a lot  and on the other side she is a lover whose lover misses her a lot needs her a lot and only left her for her happiness but now he thinks he can't survive without her bcz he has already lost so much in  his life but he dosen't want to lose his love as well his gem his diamond his god as well and so now my friend ahs no idea of what so ever to do so can u all pls share some advice and plsss no bashingggStarStarplssss bashers plsss

KITfan Senior Member
KITfan
KITfan

Joined: 25 January 2009
Posts: 937

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 1:43am | IP Logged
is this for real ? its looks like DMG to me Wacko
ok u want an advice i will give u -her priority is her husband now n her family. A person who gives up soo much for her n does all to make her n her family happy deserves more
he has promised his life to her n now its her turn
as for lover he can be a frd but in no way can come back n he must accept that ................life is long n many things can come in its journey

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Numaya

Nikhi. Goldie
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Joined: 07 June 2010
Posts: 1199

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 3:55am | IP Logged
As KITfan says, your friend's story sounds awfully similar to that of DMG's!
 
And when you think of it like that, it seems like you're friends won't truly be happy until she's with her lover, like with Armaan and Riddhima.
 
But of course, we are actually talking about real life here. I'd say that she needs to talk to her husand about this, difficult though that may be. She's now married, and has another life attached to her own, so it only makes sense for them to dicuss such important issues and take any decisions together. And since her husband is so caring, both towards her and her family, he deserves to have a say in the matter.
 
One option may well be to provide emotional support to her lover, which I'm guessing he's really in need of, but to be sure that she doesn't give him anything more than that support...afterall, she is married.
 
To be honest, it's a really difficult situation. I just hope that everything gets sorted out and that they all lead the happy lives they deserve.

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-Shonaa-MrsSobtiGroverKaShfan7.annihilation.caprigurl

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Posted: 06 January 2011 at 4:48am | IP Logged

I really have no clue..Being a die hard romantic I can say I would go for my lover..But being a married woman and the husband luving ur friend so much..she really doesnt have a choice..Either way one boy will have to suffer and suffering coz of luve is a terrible thing..She needs to talk to her husband and support her lover as well..I would say she should give herself time to realise who she wants..I really have no cloe what I would do if i was in her situation..In the first place I wouldnt even marry..But i do understand ur frnd had to marry because she had pressure..But for once now she has to think for herself..First she needs to talk to her husband and make sure she knows everything he expects her to go about the situation..Because in the end society will cross question you only if you opt to leave your husband..But your friend needs to take her own decision without going by peoples thougts..People can talk and talk but we live our life..No one will be there when we are in need to consolement..Anything more I cant say..

-Euphoria- IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 14 October 2010
Posts: 23631

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 1:36pm | IP Logged
she should go back to her lover.......................if she starts thinkin bout  what people will say she will ruin her whole life................why is culture only there 4r women............why r they not allowed to do what they think is right n not to follow the so-called good rules...........she should do what she thinks is right Smile
KITfan Senior Member
KITfan
KITfan

Joined: 25 January 2009
Posts: 937

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 2:02pm | IP Logged
give marriage a chance
a husband who loves is wife sooo much is hard to find in today's world
consider this as destiny n u cant fight that
her lover too must understand this n rather try to re-fulfill his life  for this life is long n betters things can come if only u give life a chance
Rehanism IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 07 August 2010
Posts: 3492

Posted: 06 January 2011 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
TM, my only advice to you is next time you decide to make a post please come up with a story which sounds a bit more original....LOL
LOL

Edited by Darklord_Rehan - 06 January 2011 at 8:21pm

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Numaya-Shonaa-Incense

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Posted: 07 January 2011 at 4:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Darklord_Rehan

TM, my only advice to you is next time you decide to make a post please come up with a story which sounds a bit more original....LOL
LOL
Can you please not come up and hurt others feelings?

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-Euphoria-

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