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*~Funny of the Week!! (FOTW)~* (Page 2)

ThatOneGuy IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 06 January 2011 at 7:53am | IP Logged
No problem Simi! Big smile Thank Jess coz she allowed me LOL
 
@Sweetu.WinkLOL
 
@amotlymileo , Haha yeah thanks! I think we're the first forum to start FOTWs...hope other forums don't steal it LOL

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ashwik_arvi10 IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 06 January 2011 at 1:40pm | IP Logged
ROFL I can't stop laughing!!! ROFL

Good ones!! The first one was soo hilarious!! Thanks for posting Mihir!

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ThatOneGuy

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Posted: 06 January 2011 at 2:21pm | IP Logged
ROFL 

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Posted: 06 January 2011 at 3:50pm | IP Logged
lols ! good one mihir............ yep amitabh ghanta's nice!!! n dt rakhi ROFL !!! ROFL

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ThatOneGuy

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Posted: 06 January 2011 at 5:07pm | IP Logged

LOL

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Summer3 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 06 January 2011 at 7:51pm | IP Logged
 These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
 

ATTORNEY:  What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
 WITNESS:     He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
 ATTORNEY:  And why did that upset you?
 WITNESS:     My name is Susan!
 
____________________________________________
  
 ATTORNEY:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
 WITNESS:     Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
 

 
____________________________________________
  
 ATTORNEY:  This
 myasthenia gravis , does it affect your memory at all?
 WITNESS:     Yes.
 ATTORNEY:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?
 WITNESS:     I forget..
 ATTORNEY:  You forget?  Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
 ___________________________________________
  
 
ATTORNEY:  Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
 WITNESS:     We both do.
 ATTORNEY:  Voodoo?
 WITNESS:     We do..
 ATTORNEY:  You do?
 WITNESS:     Yes , voodoo.
 
____________________________________________
  
 ATTORNEY:  Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
 WITNESS:  Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ____________________________________
 
 
ATTORNEY:  The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
 WITNESS:      He's 20, much like your IQ.
 
___________________________________________
  
 ATTORNEY:  Were you present when your picture was taken?
 WITNESS:     Are you shitting me?
 _________________________________________
  
 ATTORNEY:  She had three children , right?
 WITNESS:     Yes.
 ATTORNEY:  How many were boys?
 WITNESS: None.
 ATTORNEY:   Were there any girls?
 WITNESS:      Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
 ____________________________________________
 
 
ATTORNEY:  How was your first marriage terminated?
 WITNESS:     By death..
 ATTORNEY:  And by whose death was it terminated?
 WITNESS:     Take a guess.
 
____________________________________________
 
 ATTORNEY:  Can you describe the individual?
 WITNESS:     He was about medium height and had a beard
 ATTORNEY:  Was this a male or a female?
 WITNESS:     Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
 _____________________________________
 
 
ATTORNEY:  Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
 WITNESS:  No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
 
______________________________________
 
 ATTORNEY:  Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
 WITNESS:     All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
 _________________________________________
 
 
ATTORNEY:  ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
 WITNESS:     Oral...
 
_________________________________________
 
 ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 WITNESS:     The autopsy started around
 8:30 PM
 ATTORNEY:  And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
 WITNESS:     If not, he was by the time I finished.
 ____________________________________________
 
 
ATTORNEY:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 WITNESS:     Are you qualified to ask that question?
 
______________________________________
 
 And last:
 
 ATTORNEY:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
 WITNESS:     No.
 ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?
 WITNESS:     No.
 ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?
 WITNESS:     No..
 ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
 WITNESS:     No.
 ATTORNEY:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 WITNESS:     Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 ATTORNEY:  I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 WITNESS:     Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
  


Edited by Summer3 - 06 January 2011 at 7:52pm

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set_raj IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 07 January 2011 at 8:24am | IP Logged
Mihir the first one is not from Pakistan as you have mentioned Actual sign in Pakistan...but it is from Malaysia...
Jalan means Road or street in Malay language....most of Malays, Indonesians and Singaporeans speaks that language.

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ThatOneGuy IF-Sizzlerz
ThatOneGuy
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Posted: 07 January 2011 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by set_raj

Mihir the first one is not from Pakistan as you have mentioned Actual sign in Pakistan...but it is from Malaysia...
Jalan means Road or street in Malay language....most of Malays, Indonesians and Singaporeans speaks that language.

Oh thanks for pointing out....for some reason, the email I got it from said Pakistan Confused must be from a shiv sena member LOL

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