Posted: 06 January 2011 at 8:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by MERARAI
Originally posted by Mili97Beautifully written! You guyz are making me lazier, I don't even switch on the telly now. Mera, correct me if I am wrong here, isn't marr. more a collaboration rather than a battle of sexes. I pride myself on being a fairly progressive, liberal thinker but it still pains me to see K or the husband here being reduced to be a henchman or a yesman, whatever you may prefer to call him.
The CVs have failed big time to show what a marr. means. They have made this relationship into some kind of a see-saw, a contest where only one person can be the winner. As a woman, I will not like to see another woman being reduced to be a Kesar, voiceless and spineless. But at the same time I don't like to see a Krishna who has to prove how good a husband he is by obliterating his own personality. Why is it that when we talk about women empowerment we have to do it at the cost of subjugating men. This cannot be equality of the sexes.Not the way I see it.Plz give your perspective on it as I am really keen to know where am I going wrong here, if I am.I don't like it when a woman is called her husband's paon ki jooti and I don't like it when a hubby is forced to be JKG.Does this make me weird?
I find it frustrating to see how shows paint a lop-sided marriage. When it comes to a healthy marriage It's a matter of balance, of give and take between a man and woman. For a culture where women were treated like second class citizens in most families for the most part over decades, the intention to show women empowerment at the expense of making men look like just a fixture or a bumbling fool and they are nothing more than a puppet to their wives, dancing to their tunes and indulging their whims and fancies demeans men who by nature are blessed with fragile egos for most part.
Contest in a marriage to the extent that partners nurture and challenge each other to grow and adjust to their changing dynamics makes for a healthy marriage. Even healthy, productive arguments spices up the marriage. But if contest means one wins at the cost of the other partner it could create a whole lot of problems.
I remember an old relative once saying that one of the secrets to a happy and healthy marriages is to always make the man feel like a winner
Hope that answers your question.
Prats has a long way to go to understand what constitutes a healthy marriage. She seems to be under the impression that Krishna's unconditional love means he will cow down to her every whim and fancy. What she fails to realize is that even such men can tire of giving and giving to an unappreciating spouse over time. This could cause a major breakdown in the marriage. All attempts to fix the cracks may be too late at that point. I rarely see Prats encourage or appreciate what Krishna does for her in the name of love. Come to think of it, he demands very little of her. She has very high expectations of him but never qualifies it. She seems to take it for granted that his love for her means she gets him to do it her way every time even if it vexes him to do so.
We have often heard Krishna voice his displeasure at her failure to understand his love and all he does for her. She appeases him for a few minutes, gives him intimacy and returns to yanking him around like a puppet on a string once again. I do hope she learns to value him as a person before it's too late. For a man who had a self-confidence at the beginning of the show, he is now reduced to following her around, trying to please her like a toddler does his mother.
Luckily this is just a fictional show. In real life her attitude would have caused all kinds of problems by now if she continued with her superiority complex and put downs the way she talks to him at times just like she did today. She shut him down with "life is not all good news" in the bedroom but turned on the "please, do this for me" at the temple. She is one manipulative woman and I don't care to appreciate such women that play games.
Personally, I think the Krishna we met at the beginning of the show was a smart guy, I'd dare to say he has a higher IQ than Prats who is full of ideals and theories and fails to think outside the box or on her feet. She is rigid in her ways like the rest of her family no wonder they are such miserable people who have no clue how to handle real life unless someone had written about it in a book somewhere and that they happened to pick up over the years from a library or bookstore somewhere. All idealism and no realism, that's Sax family for you.
Mera, that line reminded me of my dadi, god rest her soul.