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How to make...

ThisismyID Senior Member
ThisismyID
ThisismyID

Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 323

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 7:01pm | IP Logged
friends- the ones u can acutally hang out after class?
I m in my last year of college and I have officially made very few ''friends''
I m very bad at approaching people. When I try..I think it becomes awkward
 
Usually I get this feeling that the person is not very interested and (sadly) people rarely approach me.
I m quite around new people, but very outgoing wih the ones that I know.
I m fond of interesting conversations, but most of  the girls that I meet are usually into gossips,boys etc.  and usually have their friends to talk to...Confused
what to do? any tips

Summer3 IF-Stunnerz
Summer3
Summer3

Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 44435

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 8:03pm | IP Logged
Well firstly to make friends you must have some common interests.
Eg. if you like movies, studies, sports etc.
If you do not have an interest in anything else then there will be nothing much to talk about.
But if your friends only waste time gossiping then it is pointless mixing around and asking for trouble.
Selecting the right group of people and friends is very important, if not, your life will go down and down.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

rekhab25

return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 23326

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 10:57pm | IP Logged
Take it from an introvert, relax and don't try so hard. When you try to hard to fit in, it always comes off as awkward. Just be yourself and don't worry about how the other person perceives you. Teenagers tend to be judgmental and display very clique like behavior. Sometimes people are not really into boys or shopping etc, but pretend to just fit in. The truth is you don't have to. However, people do mature over time and conversations, interactions become much easier.

It honestly gets better, just don't fret or worry about it. Sometimes the tables get turned completely. Once in the workplace or even in grad school people value genuineness, sincerity, maturity, composure a lot more that gossip, recklessness etc. You will be interacting with tons of great people and many of the people who refuse to grow up or be wise are left out.

Also remember good friends are not always those whom you can hang out with or have conversations, but people who really get you for who you are. Over time you will learn that there will be several acquaintances in life, but very few friends - maybe even one or two. Keep the friends close. Quality not quantity matters.
ThisismyID Senior Member
ThisismyID
ThisismyID

Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 323

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 11:47pm | IP Logged

well i m not a teenager anymore. as a teen i was way more serious than i m now. you can say i have changed a lot now. i think i have waited long enough.i do have few( a little bit close) friends but we dont really share the same interests /they are getting married( most are older than me). i like being out there, experiencing life..but not by myself..thnx for the help anyways.

Summer3 IF-Stunnerz
Summer3
Summer3

Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 44435

Posted: 04 January 2011 at 11:59pm | IP Logged
I think a good start would be participation in some of the events held in schools, social clubs etc and from there you should be able to mix around better.
Roadrunnerz Goldie
Roadrunnerz
Roadrunnerz

Joined: 09 August 2008
Posts: 1723

Posted: 05 January 2011 at 5:08am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Menak13

I m fond of interesting conversations, but most of  the girls that I meet are usually into gossips,boys etc.  and usually have their friends to talk to...Confused
what to do? any tips
find people who share your interests and you could then engage in conversations that you find interesting
tulipbaby53 IF-Stunnerz
tulipbaby53
tulipbaby53

BollyCurry Buzzer
Joined: 25 October 2007
Posts: 44383

Posted: 05 January 2011 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
You know, i changed colleges before my junior year, so I know what you might be going through! 

It's hard making friends, but I find that just by talking to the people that sit near me in class helps me make friends. Sometimes we'll meet for study groups and stuff, and then sometimes we'll talk to each other for school related things. With some of them, this would lead to better friendships that existed outside of school.

I really believe in being yourself, and also to be confident. Don't try so hard to fit it because it's better to have a few good friends who really know you than dozen of acquaintances. Don't think negatively about yourself and just be happy with who you are. People will naturally be attracted to you.
return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 23326

Posted: 05 January 2011 at 2:33pm | IP Logged

Dale Carnegie is definitely one of the most beloved and popular experts in this matter. His book 'How to win friends and influence people' was first published in 1942, but the principles and advice are time tested and true. So some geeky advice from a geeky person - http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671723650

 

Other than that I'm not sure if it works in India, but in the states if you are a girl and need in on the social scene – you find yourself a gay boyfriend – just like how Carrie Bradshaw has Stanford Blatch in Sex and the City.

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