FF:Presntn Tinda & Karela-Weird Dastaan:Pt 7D p33 - Page 14

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_sana.Magic_ thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Its really awesome...you r amazing...hey bhagwan I wish I cud just have 10%of the writing skill which u possess...u r amazing
rafia 24 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
hey rooj wow yaar u never fail to surprise me, great update loved the whole jealousy, hahah shaan even wanted to beat his own brother up over it 🤣🤣. and loved it when they were both outside and the realisation from both that both were jealous of the other- thus indicating their mutual attraction for one another, loved especially shaans cocky response. awwww i missed them 2 calling each other tinda and karela, will these 2 never get through a part without getting angry or arguing- but in all honesty i like it this way plus it increases the sexual tension between the two
wow kya thappad khanak shaan ko diya 🤣🤣 and ooohhhh who is this new girl he's going to use to make khanak jealous with.
as always eagerly awaiting the next part- ok off i go to read freedom hearts👍🏼🤗
rooj-i thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
@ Sana: Awww thanks darling...i'm not that great...i think we have better writers on the forum...and they are actually good!

@ Rain: You by far the only one to give me long comments and I really love you for that! like seriously...im not complaining that people don't comment but i prefer long ones and urs always bring a smile to my face because that tells me that my efforts were paid off....🤗
Thanks so much...i am surprised too how i come up with all this...im thinking of making portfolios of my writings and publish them one day...or at least sell them as script...who knows someone will like it and make it into a movie or something. I like their chemistry too and missed them having to call Tinda and karela myself but now i need witty replies tho...as for the sexual tension...ur the only one who picked up the reason as to why im having them fight...the ultimate goal is to ease those tensions and convert them into pure love...for now this is good...at least in my eyes...that thapad was needed, mainly to make up for that behavior in the show...and i read ur comments on the other SS and i have to tell u...again thanks for the long comment!🤗 i'll come back and comment on that later coz i have to do u and others as well
rafia 24 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
lol rooj i enjoy commenting on your work and honestly you should try showing ppl ur work yaar the ideas/ storyline are great, yay for me for getting the whole sexual tension thing it shows main toh e-smart hoon🤣 lool ur going to channel this into pure love and here i was thinking itll get channeled into something else....🤣🤣🤣🤣 no seriously i need to get off this forum i keep getting such naughty thoughts 🤣🤣🤣🤣 and i blame u 🤣🤣🤣 lol no only joking. im happy u like my comments especially todays one bcos im honestly sooo tired i didnt think i was making any sense. 🤗
rooj-i thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: rafia 24

lol rooj i enjoy commenting on your work and honestly you should try showing ppl ur work yaar the ideas/ storyline are great, yay for me for getting the whole sexual tension thing it shows main toh e-smart hoon🤣 lool ur going to channel this into pure love and here i was thinking itll get channeled into something else....🤣 no seriously i need to get off this forum i keep getting such naughty thoughts 🤣 and i blame u 🤣🤣🤣 lol no only joking. im happy u like my comments especially todays one bcos im honestly sooo tired i didnt think i was making any sense. 🤗


Thanks Rainy...

honestly I can easily have my stories published and what not or better yet made into a drama (at least pakistani) but idk i don't want too...?

neways as for ur comments on sexual tension...what is this? hormone talks much?🤣 control kuriye control!🤣 it's ok this place makes u write the unthinkable...we all have our naughty side hidden somewhere and we all take it once in a while.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
U did a terrific job with the comments and I really appreciate whatever u have written!🤗
.-BalleBalle-. thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
Roojiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 🤗
Sorry for late reply :P
You know what i always read your FFs at night, tucked up in bed, under the duvet on my phone! 🤣 I LOVE doing that it's like my favourite bed-time activity! 🤣
You go girl! You're my favourite FF writer! I just love the way you write the story i dont ever want it to end! 😛
Hahaha this time khanak slapped Shaan 🤣 He aint gonna get a kiss everytime! Roz Eid thori na hothi hai 🤣
Amazing work Rooj 👏⭐️

rooj-i thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: .-BalleBalle-.

Roojiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 🤗

Sorry for late reply :P
You know what i always read your FFs at night, tucked up in bed, under the duvet on my phone! 🤣 I LOVE doing that it's like my favourite bed-time activity! 🤣
You go girl! You're my favourite FF writer! I just love the way you write the story i dont ever want it to end! 😛
Hahaha this time khanak slapped Shaan 🤣 He aint gonna get a kiss everytime! Roz Eid thori na hothi hai 🤣
Amazing work Rooj 👏⭐️


AWww thanks Hina!!!

hahahaha we all read someone's FF while in bed...it's like your fav. bed-time story deal😆

Thanks so much Hina...and I'm not ending it soon tho..i hope not...

You are going to love the next update!!! Shaan ki Eid Ka din nahi hai ajj😆

Enjoy kar!
rooj-i thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Hey Guys,

Ok so this is a short update...Sorry tried to keep it long but I didn't like what I was writing today...so hopefully you will like it!!!

Enjoy!
Rooj

-------------------------------------------------------------

Part 6B

 

"Hey! Mind if I buy a drink for the beautiful lady?" Shaan asked the lady in red and making sure that Khanak was watching their interaction.

 

The lady blushed and answered in positive.

 

Shaan continued with his approach, "I assume you are a red wine girl?"

 

"How did you know?" The girl squealed in excitement.

 

Shaan just smiled in response and raised his glass. He ordered the drink for her and he sipped his own, while watching Khanak's reaction through his glass. He smiled inside and turned his attention back to the girl.

 

"So should I refer to you the Lady in Red only, like the song, or do you prefer something else?"

 

The lady sipped her wine and gave soft chuckle, "As tempting as that sounds, I prefer to be called Natasha."

 

"Well Natasha, a beautiful name by-the-way, today must be your lucky day."

 

Natasha gave him a smile, "Kyu, aaj ke din koi khaas baat hai kya?"

 

Shaan chuckled, "Nahi, nothing like that. It's just that you get to spend time with me today." As he said that he sneaked another look at Khanak and saw her burning even more with jealousy, and then he turned his attention back to Natasha.

 

Natasha laughed at him sarcastically, "You must be joking?! I mean you were going smooth till you hit that rock bottom, infamous line of most men." As she said that she decided to leave.

 

Shaan reacted immediately by coming close to her, turning his back to Khanak's view. He couldn't let Natasha leave and make him look like a fool that he was acting as so he decided to tell her the truth, "Actually Natasha, please don't go. I'm sorry about that but it's just that I am trying to make someone jealous here."

 

Natasha looked at him and laughed at his innocent expressions that of a lost school boy asking her to show her the way.

 

Shaan gave her the most sheapish, puppy dog face as he possibly could and begged her, "Please, mana mat kijiye aur thodi dere aur ruk jayiye. Main yahan pe ek ladki ke saath badla lene ki koshish kar raha hoon kyunke thodi dere pehle ussne mujhe thapad aur mera paon (foot) pe mara tha."

 

Natasha couldn't help but laugh a bit harder at this, "You don't say! With the way you come across, I would've done the same."

 

After a thinking a minute, Natasha agreed to stay there, "Fine I'll stay but only if you show me who the girl is and you tell me the whole story from the beginning. Deal?"

 

Shaan grinned at her and was relieved to hear that, "Deal!"

 

"Aur haan, no lame flirting and no self-praising!"

 

It was Shaan's turn to chuckle and he agreed. He told her the whole story from the first day to today's last encounter between him and Khanak.

 

Khanak's reaction

 

She tried not to pay attention to where Shaan was but she kept looking over there, at him with some girl in red.

 

She tried to pay attention to the person whom she was talking to but it was to no avail because she had no idea what the woman was talking about. All she heard from the woman was about some flying houses and how kids turned into cats and dogs.

 

When Khanak wasn't able to concentrate on the lady with her silly stories, she excused herself to the next best possible distraction: Gopi and Akshay. She didn't want to admit to herself that Shaan was the main reason of her failure in hold a conversation.

 

"You guys talk, I'll be right back. Akshay, where is the bathroom?" Khanak tried to focus on Gopi's and Akshay's conversation but it wasn't working either. It didn't help either when she saw Shaan leaning close to the girl and turning away from Khanak to the girl. This act of his irritated her more.

 

She excused herself to go to bathroom but she found her steps leading towards the bar.

 

 "Kya samjhta hai apne aap ko? Mujhe koi farak padega kya ussko iss Chameli ke saath dekhne main? It doesn't matter who he hangs out with, be it Sheila ya phir Munni, I don't care," Khanak talked to herself as she approached them slowly.

 

"Jab dekho har ladki pe line marta hai. Waise maine yeh kab dekha ke yeh har ladki pe line marta hai siwaye aaj ke din?" Khanak was confused now.

 

She looked up and saw him leaning closer, "Peeche hat, peeche hat uss chamak-chalo se." As she said that, she slapped her wrist.

 

She was closed to them that she could almost hear part of their conversation. She kept approaching and then her steps halted. Her face was red with embarrassment or anger, she couldn't decide which one. Shaan and the Red Chilli pepper had gotten up from their spot and were heading her way. So far they hadn't noticed, or she thought they hadn't noticed her standing their walking in their direction.

 

Khanak didn't know what to do, she was holding a drink that was untouched and she looked here and there for a waiter so she could put away the class and pretend to be heading to the bar but no one was in sight. She had to gulp down her drink in a hurry.

 

Shaan and Natasha were talking while walking and they knew Khanak was standing there and observing them. They saw all her actions from the corner of their eyes.

 

"Shaan she is ready to impress you. You know what to do right?" Natasha asked Shaan

 

"Yep...you just wait and watch. Let's look ahead now."

 

They looked ahead and saw her smiling at them ready to receive them. They smiled at her the same way and as Shaan extended his hand out as a way to introduce someone, he immediately followed his plan and took Natasha's hand and walked past Khanak to the dance floor. Khanak was left there dumb-founded.

 

She was shocked out of her wits and when the initial shock subsided she was angry and she turned around to face their dancing figures and she was even more shocked. She was a bit hurt and angry at the same time.

 

"How Dare he!" Khanak exclaimed under her breath. She wanted to go up to him and strangle him. She even started but she stopped because of the way they were close together. Red-chili had her head on Shaan's shoulder, while Shaan's hands were holding her close.

 

Khanak turned away from them, "Mujhe yeh ho kya raha hai? Mujhe uss Tinde pe ghussa kyu aa raha hai? Aur woh Red-chili, chamak-chalo, chameli, jo bhi ho, se kyu jalan ho rahi hai. Main uss Tinde ki girlfriend thodi na hoon. Main apne kaam se kaam rakhungi. Yeh toh mujhe aise hi ho raha ke uss Tinde ke paas koi hai aur mere paas koi nahi. I'm only jealous of that fact. Haan I'm jealous of that fact."

 

With that last proclamation, she turned back to them with a fake smile. She watched them for a while. As she was watching them, her hands were playing the nervous game with themselves. Her palms were sweaty and were holding the glass back and forth. She was fidgeting with her class and she was holding it so tight that it breaks but she never took her eyes off of them or she let go of her fake smile.

 

When she couldn't take it anymore, she found Gopi and wanted to leave but Gopi wouldn't let her so she had to stay there and that made her even more miserable. After a while a scheme formed in her mind. She had enough of this.

 

She went to the bar and grabbed a drink, any drink, and she walked back to the dance floor. She looked around for a partner and she found someone, Ducks, she asked him to dance and dragged him to the floor right next to Shaan and Red-chili. While in one hand she had the drink, pretending to drink and with the other she danced. She moved closer and closer to Shaan. As she approached them, she made sure they were not looking and she purposely bumped into them and in the process she dropped her drink on Shaan's clothes.

 

"Oh My God, I'm really sorry. Ghalti se mere haath se glass slip ho gaya," Khanak was sarcastic with her tone, which was not gone unnoticed by the 3 people there.

 

Natasha hid her smile from her and pretended to be angry. Shaan was livid, on the other hand, he couldn't believe his 3rd luck of the day. He looked at Khanak angrily and wanted to tell her off. His face was red with anger.

 

He looked at her, "Kadwahat ke saath saath lagta hai tum andhi bhi ho! Dikhta nahi hai kya?"

 

"Maine kaha na sorry, ghalti se hua hai, iss mein itna ghussa hone ke kya baat hai?"

 

"Beside which idiot brings a drink on the dance floor huh?"

 

Shaan was furiously wiping down his jacked with a napkin that he picked from the passing waiter.

 

Before Khanak can respond back to him, Natashar interrupted, "Jaanu rehne bhi do. She said she is sorry."

 

Khanak gasped at the word Jaanu, "Jaaanuu!!??? You had a girlfriend and yet you...oooh..." She stomped his foot again and walked away from there.

 

Shaan wanted to go after her but Natasha stopped him and called after her, "Arre nahi miss he is not my boyfriend but I am hoping he will be."

 

That did it for Khanak, she stopped in her tracks and turned around and marched right back, looked at Natasha, who had her hands linked with Shaan's. She looked at them again, stomped his other foot and walked away again.

 

Now Shaan was hoping from one foot to another and he really needed to sit down. He wanted to go after her but his feet were sore.

 

In the meantime, Khanak had found Gopi, told her that she was leaving and that she can come with Akshay later. She left the place in a hurry with anger.

 

Shaan sat at the bar, massaging his feet, while Natasha tried hard to control her laughter. Ducks was confused and went back to his usual sulking. 

OlicityFan thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
rooj....u finally updated!!...
khanak loves stamping his foot soo much.....can we expect such a scene in the serial??
simikr thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Rooj!!
 
Brilliant and soo cute!! Shaan ki to aisi ki taisi!! Loved it!!:))
 
Simi