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How do you handle it? (Page 2)

return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 10:52am | IP Logged
Two rules -
1) You cannot argue faith
2) Sometimes, Ignorance and stupidity cannot be cured

If someone has a strong perception about something, if they just don't know; it can be frustrating and even futile to debate.

Things that can be done are
- Ask questions to expose holes or chinks in their thought process. The ultimate goal is to get them to question themselves
- Introduce facts slowly one by one, make sure you just don't state something is a fact, but have a source preferably a source that your opponent would trust.

However, if people are stubborn or not open to those means. Simply set a distinction between arguing facts and arguing opinions - and remember there is no right and wrong in opinions. This does not need to be verbally established really, but firmly in your mind. You will have an easier time digesting someones warped opinions, knowing they are warped opinions. You will find it easier also to put in alternate perceptions and opinions.

If all else fails, just agree to disagree or smile and nod your head. There will always be some people who never lose an argument, no matter how wrong or irrational they are. Sometimes these people even win an argument over people who were on their side, supporting them. No point wasting your time.


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RainbowWarriortulipbaby53

tulipbaby53 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by old-black-joe

Originally posted by tulipbaby53

I'm glad you liked the topic! Big smile Thank you so much for taking the time and replying, OBJ! 

I many times do get angry or upset by what they say, but I think some people enjoy making up facts to irritate others. i notice many of my relatives do this, and they throughly enjoy the reactions they get out of people. I usually will avoid debates with them.

Sometimes though, I don't even want to start a debate, but somehow they trap me in one! I don't even realize I'm in it, and the thing with them, if I walk away telling them they don't know what they're talking about or to look up their facts, they will tell everyone else they know how I don't know my facts, and how they proved me wrong. Ermm Then what to do? LOL


I avoid discussions with people in the first paragraph! LOL 

Come to think of it, I avoid those in the second paragraph too. Or you COULD make a scene calling them inferiority complexed idiots who don't have the balls  to admit they're wrong. But then its your family so you might not wanna do it LOL

Yeahhhhh, ummm, I don't think they'd like it! LOL Only one of my uncles I told him, "You don't even know what you're saying!", and he didn't get mad because everyone else started to laugh. LOL
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by xobile

Very good topic Tulip!

I think the key cause of tension in such cases is not a lack of knowledge but a large ego. Most people are not experts on most things, but discussions are only enjoyable when more people join in. Problems arise when someone with an incomplete understanding of the subject is too arrogant to accept that he might be wrong. When you start prioritising your ego over the truth in this way, you have taken the debate too personally. Debating requires a certain degree of aloofness so as not to see a counterargument as a personal jab or a putdown.

When I fall into a discussion with someone who is not willing to have a reasoned debate, it is very frustrating because it seems like a waste of time and energy. The best solution is to be dishonest and agree with him or to try and change the topic.


Thank you so much for your appreciation for the topic, and for your lovely response as well. Embarrassed

I also agree that many times large egos can make people quite narrow and unwilling to accept they are wrong. For example, one time I got into a political debate with my dad's work friend without even realizing. He at first was just asking me questions, so I thought he wanted to know my views. I started telling him, and then he told me his. It was nice at first, but then he brings up, "Same Sex Marriage". Then every time I said something he didn't agree with, he'd put up his big hand right in front of my mouth. Confused LOL It was his indication that he didn't want to listen to what I had to say. Eventually, I had to do as you said, and just nod and move on. Ermm
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 1:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Simi_PagalLadki

Basically everyone already said about what I was gonna say!
Good luck with that Varsha! LOL

Thanks, Simi! LOL
tulipbaby53 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 1:15pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Two rules -
1) You cannot argue faith
2) Sometimes, Ignorance and stupidity cannot be cured

If someone has a strong perception about something, if they just don't know; it can be frustrating and even futile to debate.

Things that can be done are
- Ask questions to expose holes or chinks in their thought process. The ultimate goal is to get them to question themselves
- Introduce facts slowly one by one, make sure you just don't state something is a fact, but have a source preferably a source that your opponent would trust.

However, if people are stubborn or not open to those means. Simply set a distinction between arguing facts and arguing opinions - and remember there is no right and wrong in opinions. This does not need to be verbally established really, but firmly in your mind. You will have an easier time digesting someones warped opinions, knowing they are warped opinions. You will find it easier also to put in alternate perceptions and opinions.

If all else fails, just agree to disagree or smile and nod your head. There will always be some people who never lose an argument, no matter how wrong or irrational they are. Sometimes these people even win an argument over people who were on their side, supporting them. No point wasting your time.



Yes, I do not debate religion, but I got sucked into one yesterday. I was actually asking my dad about what he sees when he meditates, and then his friend brings up all his nonsense. Anyways, the debate ended with me getting upset and him laughing with my chacha. Ermm Oh well, I could care less what he thinks anyways....

I love it when I ask people like them a question that actually makes them stop or even angers them because the realize they're wrong! LOL That also did happen with my dad's work friend who started the a debate on politics. He ended up puffing and fuming because I pointed out how he's being hypocritical. LOL

Yes, the best thing to sometimes do is to just nod and move on though.
U-No-Poo IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
I know how it feels. my family is full of such obnoxious uncles who have nothing better to do than to sit down with a cup of tea and whine about something irrelevant and make it look like a 'debate' LOL

I used to try to debate with them before but then I gradually realized that I could never win, so I simply gave up. now I just sit in the room and listen to them sprouting nonsense. recently, I was at my cousin's house and basically it was a huge get together in the evening. all my uncles got drunk and started talking about global warming. one of them claimed that global warming doesn't exist and it's a non-issue that the media is thriving upon. 

basically, just laugh out loud and screw it? LOL

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tulipbaby53

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Posted: 02 January 2011 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by CZ..

I know how it feels. my family is full of such obnoxious uncles who have nothing better to do than to sit down with a cup of tea and whine about something irrelevant and make it look like a 'debate' LOL

I used to try to debate with them before but then I gradually realized that I could never win, so I simply gave up. now I just sit in the room and listen to them sprouting nonsense. recently, I was at my cousin's house and basically it was a huge get together in the evening. all my uncles got drunk and started talking about global warming. one of them claimed that global warming doesn't exist and it's a non-issue that the media is thriving upon. 

basically, just laugh out loud and screw it? LOL

@ bold: I've heard this "theory" too LOL Yes, it's best to just laugh it off and not take it to heart or waste your feelings over it. Big smile

I'm glad I made this topic. I've enjoyed reading what others have done, and I also got to learn that many families have uncles like these. LOL
Mindbender IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 03 January 2011 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tulipbaby53


Anyways, the purpose of my topic is: How do you debate with someone who doesn't know what they're talking about?

Don't debate with them if you 'think' that they are not worth it. Instead try to find out where they are coming from. It will be learning experience. You might learn that there is some emotional belief which is holding them from being rational or perhaps, they were right and your thinking was wrong.

In essence, what i want to press on is-- don't let off people as being stupid too soon. Often ,in my opinion, when people say something which you are not accustomed to hearing or feel irrational, instead of responding with an argument , if you just ask them to "Tell me more about it" , you'll benefit more.

But that all is idealistic. You can make fun of them at times and chuckle to yourself(for them not understanding) if you have some evil humour in you.LOL

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